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Sarcastic Answers

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Until you get a knife/sword/machete/poison dart/anything with a sharp tip.

Why are Pokemon talking to me?
 
Nooo, it's because the company that makes the razor hates you so much, they made razors designed to hurt you.

Are trees made of wood?
 
You thought they were something you sit on. So yeah, under you, as of now. :)

Why is it that I can't be Micheal's (archangel) vessel?
 
Well, why wouldn't she? Dur.

Why can't I have a Brooklyn accent?!
 
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