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[Pokémon] Shattered [M]

Bay

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  • Ack, Giratina already said some of the criticism I want to talk about. :O Been busy, so yeah.

    Going to say Samuel is indeed an interesting character and the action is done well. However, I don't know, I would think someone who's never been outside for most of his life would have a hard time interacting with people and not be able to kick butt. XD Then again, sometimes you can't judge a book by its cover. :P

    Hm, so there's no other different Elinas, huh? Yeah, have to agree with Tyson that I too am confused why she said he's doom the first time they meet and then after that she said he'll be fine. O.o Probably missing something here...

    Nothing else much to say but nice work on this chapter and can't wait for the next one!
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • How did I not see your review, huh? HOW? *headbang* Anyway . . .
    Going to say Samuel is indeed an interesting character and the action is done well. However, I don't know, I would think someone who's never been outside for most of his life would have a hard time interacting with people and not be able to kick butt. XD Then again, sometimes you can't judge a book by its cover. :P
    Hmm, yes. I see where you're coming from. But, may I draw your attention to this . . . ?
    For the first fifteen years of his life, he had been home-schooled by his father. He had refused point-blank to leave the house.
    What happens after those fifteen years will be revealed in due course. ^_~

    Hm, so there's no other different Elinas, huh? Yeah, have to agree with Tyson that I too am confused why she said he's doom the first time they meet and then after that she said he'll be fine. O.o Probably missing something here...
    If you're missing something, then so am I. There is currently no explanation whatsoever, save that wishy-washy excuse she gave about being subject to human whims. ^_^

    Nothing else much to say but nice work on this chapter and can't wait for the next one!
    Coming right up! Well, on Monday. But you get the point. Thanks for stickin' with us!
     
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  • No. Not Professor Oak, surely? It can't be. Why would Professor Oak work for Cyrus? Are you serious, SD, or are you just making fun of us all?

    Oh, and that dragon…? From your description, it sounded as though it was Dialga. Was it?

    *gets hyper and jumps up and down*

    Will there be a Dialga and Palkia VS Darkrai battle at some point? Please? Please, please, please?
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • Er, no, it's most definitely not Professor Oak. The name is the same, yes, but really. I said Samuel refused to leave the house for 15 years, yet in the movie Pokemon 4Ever, we meet a 10-year-old Sammy Oak, already on his Pokemon journey. And can you imagine Oak, at any age, beating the crap out of three heavily built, specially trained adversaries?

    As for Dialga/Palkia vs Darkrai . . . well, all I can say is that someone's astute. Just not in the way she might think . . .
     

    Vigilante

    Ringleader of Hell
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    • Seen Dec 26, 2009
    I'm happy that you think so, Katherine. As for what was in the spoiler tags . . . I will neither confirm nor deny that.
    Then what is inside must be true.

    Anyways, this was a pleasure to read, write more or my highly trained sniper will obliterate you.

    As for the mistakes, I couldn't find any.
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • Then what is inside must be true.
    Orly? Where does this logic come from? I said I would neither confirm nor deny that.

    Anyways, this was a pleasure to read, write more or my highly trained sniper will obliterate you.
    I fear no sniper. Only the whip . . . Thanks for reading, though. There will be more, I promise.
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • Chapter 7 - Complications

    Well, it's Monday afternoon, so that means new chapter time! Buckle up, we be gettin' serious nao! =D


    Chapter 7


    Complications


    June 16, 2000


    It's been a while since I've been out like this. It's all so different. There was a whole world out there that Matthew was unfamiliar with. That I'd be perfectly happy to stay unfamiliar with.

    I don't need this! he told himself as Jerry and the others chatted happily. I don't see why my father decided it would be better for me to see the world. I don't need 'life experience', he knows that. He knows me!

    Or . . . did he just want to get rid of me? The thought wasn't one he liked, but it was entirely possible. Knowing his father . . . knowing him, he'd have packed me off on this journey just so I wasn't in his way. Matthew's hand tightened into a fist, scrunching the material of the cushion next to him. Bastard. His father would probably have rented his room out already, sold his CDs and forgotten he existed.

    He dimly heard Haley talking to him, asking him something. Her voice sounded as if it was coming from a long way away. He didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself to open his mouth; he was feeling unwell. Getting unsteadily to his feet, he stumbled out the door Tyson had just returned from.

    The sea breeze was fresh and salty, whipping spray up into his eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut to avoid the stinging drops, he knelt down on the deck, leaning his forehead against the rail. Why, damn it?


    ***


    That night, in a cold, dank warehouse on Route 222, Cyrus examined Samuel and Li's findings. The two agents stood before him silently, watching impassively as their boss clicked through the carvings they had found. Eventually, he straightened up, looking directly at them.

    "There was no trouble obtaining these images, was there?" he asked.

    "We were discovered," Samuel explained, "by three cops. At least, they said they were cops, but there was something odd about them. They obviously had extensive combat training, and they made no attempt to take us alive once we refused to surrender peacefully."

    "I have heard rumours of a new division of the Sinnoh Police Force being set up," Cyrus mused. "A division designed to wipe out dangerous criminals first and ask questions never. It sounds like you've run into the Black Shirts." Samuel conjured up a picture of the cops in his mind's eye. It had been dark, and everything had been happening fast, but yes, he recalled, they had been wearing black.

    "Should we be worried about them?" he asked. He wasn't, but he decided to give Cyrus the benefit of the doubt. If he felt extra precautions needed to be taken, then they would be taken, regardless of whether Samuel felt they were necessary. He was the boss, after all.

    "It all depends," Cyrus said. "How do you believe they discovered you were down there?"

    "I don't know," Samuel admitted. "It hardly seemed as if they were on a routine check."

    "In that case," said Cyrus, "they may well know who they were dealing with. I don't believe you would have told them who you were working for, but nonetheless, they may have made the connection."

    "With all due respect, sir," interrupted Samuel, "they won't be making any connections." He grinned dangerously, casually tapping the knife at his belt.

    "Very well, but it will not take them long to find the bodies. They will be on high alert all across Sinnoh."

    "Indeed," said Samuel, bowing his head slightly.

    "Now, as for you," Cyrus said, turning to Li, who had remained silent since she entered the room. "Do you have anything to add?" Li, who looked surprised at being addressed, nodded shakily.

    "Yes, sir. The matter of the, ah . . . Black Shirts, was it? I-I feel I may not . . . may not be able to deal with them if we encounter them again, sir. I'm sorry." She hung her head.

    "Indeed," Cyrus agreed. "Your specialty is not in combat, but you have unique data analysing skills that make you irreplaceable. As a result, you will be working with Samuel again on your next mission. One of our bots has come across Avos agents excavating something near Solaceon. They've since moved out, but it's up to the pair of you to work out what they were up to, and bring back anything relevant. We need all the evidence we can get." He took out a double-ended cable, attaching one end to Samuel's laptop, and the other to his own, which sat next to it.

    Samuel glared at Li. So much for taking a break after the mission. He'd have to put up with her for a while longer, it seemed.

    "Yes, sir," he muttered. Cyrus had evidently completed his data transfer, as he removed the cable, closed Samuel's laptop, and handed it back to him.

    "All the specifics for your mission have been transferred to this machine. I know you two work well together, so I'm entrusting you both with the success of this vital operation. Good luck." Recognising the dismissal, Samuel bowed slightly, turned, and left, Li following suit.

    Both remained silent until they were well out of earshot. Once they had left the building, Li spoke up.

    "Looks like you're stuck with me for a while longer, tough guy," she teased.

    "I hate you."

    "I know."


    ***


    "Listen, guys," Jerry said, suddenly serious once more. "Matthew's a little . . . different from you two."

    "We'd noticed," said Tyson drily. Haley glared at him.

    "Yes. Well, look, I need you guys to, I dunno, cut him a little slack. It's obvious the poor guy's having trouble with all this, and I don't want to have to send him home."

    "You can do that?" Tyson queried. "Send us home?"

    "Yes," said Jerry, "I can. If you don't keep up with your schoolwork, for example, or if I feel you're struggling with another aspect of the Program, I can put you on the train back to Sunyshore. By the same token, you guys can pull out at any point."

    "So you don't want to have to kick Matthew out," Tyson reasoned, "because that would make you look bad, if your students weren't performing."

    "Well . . . partially," Jerry admitted. "Mostly for his benefit – the kid's never done anything remotely like this before, I can tell – but partly for my own sake, yes. Only a little bit, though!" he said hastily. "If I think Matthew would be better off at home, it's my responsibility to send him back, regardless of how it'd reflect on me. It's just that right now, this is all new to him, and he needs to get his head round it. So just . . . be nice to him, I guess. How do you imagine the poor kid would be feeling now?"

    "Not so great?" Haley ventured.

    "Right," Jerry agreed. "So, can you guys do that? I know he's a little different to you two, but can you make an effort anyway?"

    "Sure," Tyson said. Haley nodded in agreement.

    "Thanks," said Jerry, exhaling deeply. "That'll make things so much easier. Now, if you two would get your laptops out, I think there's a little more calibration that needs to be done. I'd better go talk to Matthew." He stood and went out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

    Tyson glanced at Haley, but didn't say anything. Although he'd never let on, he was worried about Matthew, too. The guy had never been social or sporty, preferring to sit inside and play handheld video games all lunchtime, while the other kids kicked a ball around or gossiped happily, but since the Pokémon Journey Program had started, he'd seemed downright sickly.

    Pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind, Tyson fished his laptop out of his bag, opened it, and plugged in the headphones. The screen flickered into life immediately, and he was greeted by the same cool, female voice as before.

    "Good morning, Tyson." Out of the corner of his eye, Tyson saw Haley carrying her computer down the other end of the room so that they could both speak without disturbing each other.

    "Morning, uh . . . Computer?"

    "Running start-up checks." Tyson idly gazed out of the window. He was sitting on the seaward side of the ship, so he couldn't see Route 222. All he could see were sparkling blue waves. In the distance, a small Pokémon leapt briefly out of the water before dropping back in just as quickly. It happened so fast, he didn't even have time to identify it. "Start-up checks complete. You have one new message, Tyson. Would you like me to play it?"

    "What?" Who could have been sending him messages? "Uh . . . sure. Go ahead." A window popped up on the screen, and Mr Jay appeared, standing in front of the blackboard in his classroom.

    "Hello, everybody!" he said jovially, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "By the time you receive this message, your Pokémon Journeys should all be underway. I'd like to take the opportunity to wish you all the best of luck! But that's not the reason I sent you this message. Your computer has a large number of educational programs installed on it, or so I am told. Sometime soon, just have a play around with a few of them. Experiment and find out how everything works. There will be a monthly test on all subjects you were taking at school, with the exception of Pokémon Studies! I feel you will be learning enough about that along the way, eh?" He chortled at his own joke. "So again, good luck, take care of yourselves, and listen to the adult that has been assigned to you!" The window went dark, and the computer's voice cut in again.

    "Would you like to replay the message?"

    "Er, no thanks," Tyson said. "Could I, uh, see some of those educational programs he was talking about?" A list appeared on the screen. Glancing down, Tyson could see Maths, English, Science, Geography, all the subjects he took at school. As well as that, there were other subjects, such as Art, Music, History, and I.T.

    "Which subject would you like to explore?" the computer prompted. The subjects he'd been taking at school lit up yellow. It was trying to tell him something.

    "Geography, I suppose," he said. The list disappeared, immediately replaced by a video: an aerial shot of the Sinnoh region, probably taken from the summit of Mt. Coronet. The camera panned from left to right, showing the landscape in all its glory. A voiceover began, and Tyson was surprised to hear the same voice he had been talking to just moments ago.

    "The Sinnoh region," it began. "One of the largest continents in the world, which has remained – geographically – largely unchanged for thousands of years."

    For the next fifteen minutes, Tyson explored the myriad programs on the computer. The level of technology was beyond anything he'd ever seen before.


    ***


    When Jerry cracked the deck door open, he saw Matthew kneeling on the boards, head against the railing, the picture of abject misery. His heart immediately went out to the young man.

    "Hey, sport," he said gently, just loud enough to make himself heard over the noise of the boat's engine. Crouching down beside him, Jerry laid a friendly arm across his shoulders. Matthew looked up at him, blinking. His eyes were red. "What's the problem with you, eh?" Jerry asked him.

    "I'm . . . fine," Matthew mumbled, looking out to sea. Jerry chuckled.

    "No, you're not. What's really the problem? You homesick or something? Miss your dad? It's OK if that's it. You can talk to me." Matthew's hands squeezed the bar a little tighter.

    "I wouldn't miss that man," he said in a low, shaky voice, "if he died." Jerry realised he had hit on a touchy subject.

    "Well," he reasoned, "if you dislike him so much, wouldn't you be glad to get away for a while?"

    "There is that," Matthew admitted, "but it doesn't help. You wouldn't understand."

    "Try me."

    "I'd . . . rather not," Matthew demurred. Jerry sighed. He'd have to try a different tactic.

    "Listen, kid," he said. "If you're gonna come on this Pokémon Journey, you're gonna have to get over whatever your problem is. If you don't want to be here, that's too damn bad, because you're stuck with us until it's over. I don't see why you'd rather be at home with a father you evidently dislike, but you're here now, so you're gonna have to harden up! We're a team now. You, Haley, Tyson and I. Not so much me, but you're not gonna let them down, OK? Because if you screw up, you'll have me to answer to. And just to clarify, screwing up means," he counted off on his fingers, "throwing tantrums, failing tests, sulking, or generally acting like a whiny little emo!" Jerry winced inwardly as he said it. Ouch. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that speech. Did I overdo it? But to his surprise, Matthew nodded firmly and stood up, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

    "OK. You-you're right." Without another word, he turned and went back inside.

    "Remarkable," Jerry mused out loud. "All it took was a slightly harsher tone, and he immediately got the point. I wonder . . ." Was it some sort of automatic reaction?

    "You've certainly got an interesting bunch of kids there, Jerry," said an unfortunately familiar voice from behind him. He closed his eyes, refusing to turn around.

    "You again." This Avos freak was beginning to get annoying.

    "Yes, me again. Do you realise," she continued, "how easy it would be, right now, to push you over the edge of the boat?"

    "Not nearly as easy as it would be for me to jump," he commented.

    "Touché," she murmured.

    "So how exactly do you plan to stop the Project?" he asked her, still not turning around. "You have no Pokémon, and you dislike taking human life. You're playing a dangerous game."

    "A dangerous game, yes. But like all good games, there is a foolproof method of winning, which would be rendered instantly ineffective should you learn of it. So for now, I will leave you to puzzle over it."

    "So what was the point of coming out here to talk to me?" It didn't seem that she had turned up just to talk to him. But then, that would suggest she had had some other business here. What could she possibly have been doing on a boat halfway between Sunyshore and Pastoria?

    "Just . . . enjoying the view," she whispered, right in his ear. Jerry jumped and turned around rapidly, but there was nobody there. The only evidence he had been talking to a real person was a slight chuckle, floating away on the breeze.


    ***


    It was the seventh of April, 1998. Jerry had been in Jubilife City on business. As he waited at the train station for the eleven-forty back toward Eterna, there was a colossal explosion a couple of blocks over. Most of the people waiting for the train screamed and ran in the opposite direction. He knew he should steer clear, too, but his Trainer's instinct made him run towards the billowing pillar of cloud that had once been an office building.

    Emergency services had already reached the scene when he arrived. Several bright red fire engines – accompanied by multiple Water-type Pokémon – were hosing down the building, while firemen and paramedics alike attempted to retrieve victims from the wreckage. Through the smoke, Jerry could see that whatever had caused the explosion had torn a huge chunk out of one side of the building about a third of the way up. The road below it was littered with broken glass, metal struts, and various other kinds of burning debris. Cars parked below had been crushed by falling shrapnel.

    Jerry was just considering joining the relief effort when the communicator strapped to his wrist bleeped stridently. Checking the display briefly, Jerry hit the answer button and spoke into the tiny microphone.

    "Yes, sir?"

    "Jeremiah, you're currently in Jubilife City, correct?" Cyrus was the only one who ever called him by his full name.

    "Yes, sir, I am."

    "Good. I need you to get to the northern sector of the city as fast as you can. Sinnoh NewsNet is showing a massive disruption there. I want you to find out-"

    "I'm already there, sir," Jerry cut in, glancing up at the yellow helicopter that was evidently broadcasting to the rest of Sinnoh. "I'm looking at it right now."

    "Excellent. I need you to find out who is responsible. Find out if it's linked to the bombings in Hearthome. If so, we may be dealing with a new . . . variable in the equation. It is important we keep tabs on any person or group who may be a threat."

    "Understood, sir. I'm on it."

    "Good. I know you're not an intelligence agent, but you're the only one we have in the area right now. Don't fail me." The line went dead. How old was the boss? Seventeen? Yet he was undoubtedly the boss, and Jerry had a job to do.

    Where to begin? How was he to determine who the culprit had been? Every building on the block had been evacuated, so there were confused-looking businessmen milling around everywhere, not to mention dozens of gawking onlookers. Nearby, a tourist in a garish flowered shirt was eagerly snapping photos.

    Something caught Jerry's eye. Not too far away, half-hidden in the shadow of an alleyway, stood a group of people dressed all in green cloaks. He had never seen anything of the kind before. They were talking among themselves, pointing excitedly at the destruction wreaked by the explosion. Then suddenly, they all turned as one and disappeared down the alleyway.

    The conscious part of Jerry's mind was screaming that it wasn't enough of a lead to follow, and risk missing something at the scene of the crime. But Jerry knew, somehow, that these green-cloaked weirdos were what he was looking for. Taking a deep breath, he followed them down the alleyway.
     
    Last edited:

    Bay

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  • I like Matt's POV at the beginning there. Gives the reader more insight of his personality. Great job there! Also, ouch on the scene with Jerry and Matt. If I were Jerry, I wouldn't use the emo word on Matt. :x

    The Tyson scene is good too and like how we're able to get a glimpse of the online education. :P

    The flashback scene I like too and dang it, you have to leave us at a cliffhanger! XD However, I'm kinda disappointed Jeremiah=Jerry because how when that is mentioned a couple chapters back, it's just too easy to guess Jeremiah is Jerry. Back at that chapter, you could have Cyrus call Jerry by his middle name, a codename, or something.

    You're right, this story is getting serious now. :) Great job here and can't wait for next chapter!
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • I like Matt's POV at the beginning there. Gives the reader more insight of his personality. Great job there! Also, ouch on the scene with Jerry and Matt. If I were Jerry, I wouldn't use the emo word on Matt. :x
    Jerry could perhaps be accused of being a little insensitive here. ^_^ Even so, it worked, eh?

    The Tyson scene is good too and like how we're able to get a glimpse of the online education. :P
    I liek playing wiv technology. :3

    The flashback scene I like too and dang it, you have to leave us at a cliffhanger! XD
    And guess what? You ain't gonna find out what happens next for quite a while, unless I'm in a really good mood while writing the next chapter. *is evil*
    However, I'm kinda disappointed Jeremiah=Jerry because how when that is mentioned a couple chapters back, it's just too easy to guess Jeremiah is Jerry. Back at that chapter, you could have Cyrus call Jerry by his middle name, a codename, or something.
    I thought about this, but in all honesty, you were meant to work it out. *shrugs*

    You're right, this story is getting serious now. :) Great job here and can't wait for next chapter!
    Thank you! I'm having fun writing this, so I'll get right onto the next chapter! . . . after I finish my homework. D=
     

    Miz en Scène

    Everybody's connected
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  • This just keeps getting better. :D

    I didn't find any mistakes this time (unless I'm missing something) but nevertheless, it hasn't stopped me from leaving this review.

    Sparkling Dragon said:
    "Listen, kid," he said. "If you're gonna come on this Pokémon Journey, you're gonna have to get over whatever your problem is. If you don't want to be here, that's too damn bad, because you're stuck with us until it's over. I don't see why you'd rather be at home with a father you evidently dislike, but you're here now, so you're gonna have to harden up! We're a team now. You, Haley, Tyson and I. Not so much me, but you're not gonna let them down, OK? Because if you screw up, you'll have me to answer to. And just to clarify, screwing up means," he counted off on his fingers, "throwing tantrums, failing tests, sulking, or generally acting like a whiny little emo!" Jerry winced inwardly as he said it. Ouch. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that speech. Did I overdo it? But to his surprise, Matthew nodded firmly and stood up, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.
    Lol'd at 'emo kid'.
    And, Matthew is kind of weird. But I guess you want him to be that way. ;D
    Though, the lack of conflict disturbs me.
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • This just keeps getting better. :D

    I didn't find any mistakes this time (unless I'm missing something) but nevertheless, it hasn't stopped me from leaving this review.
    What's this? Mizan can't find anything? o_O

    Lol'd at 'emo kid'.
    And, Matthew is kind of weird. But I guess you want him to be that way. ;D
    Though, the lack of conflict disturbs me.
    Lack of conflict where? In general, or are we still talking about Matthew?
    Thanks for reading, though.
     

    Citrinin

    Nephrotoxic.
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  • This chapter was incredible. It's getting serious now. ;D Two things stuck out to me:

    Sparkles said:
    If you don't want to be here, that's too damn bad, because you're stuck with us until it's over.
    This was just after Jerry had explained to the others that they could pull out at any time. Of course, if it's intentional and he's lying (and he seems to be the kind of character that doesn't mind dishonesty) forget I said anything. :P

    Sparkles said:
    stood a group of people dressed all in green cloaks, maybe .
    "maybe ." should be "maybe."
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • This was just after Jerry had explained to the others that they could pull out at any time.
    iirc, it was just after Jerry had explained that he could kick them out at any time, not the other way round. And he's already established he doesn't wanna do that. Plus, he was going pretty spazz throughout that whole paragraph, so yeah.

    As for that 'maybe', it shouldn't even have been there in the first place. *fixes*
     

    Citrinin

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  • Uh, actually, you said:

    Sparkles said:
    If you don't keep up with your schoolwork, for example, or if I feel you're struggling with another aspect of the Program, I can put you on the train back to Sunyshore. By the same token, you guys can pull out at any point."
    That is to say, Jerry can kick them out and they can leave willingly.
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • Orite. ^_^ *doesn't know own story* Well, he's not planning on telling Matthew that any time soon. He told Tyson and Haley because he knows they wouldn't take him up on it. It would reflect on him, remember?
     

    Citrinin

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  • OK. XD Just making sure you had that right, there. ;] Like I said, he doesn't seem all that averse to being deceptive. :P
     

    Miz en Scène

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  • Lack of conflict where? In general, or are we still talking about Matthew?
    Thanks for reading, though.
    I was talking about the way Matt reacted to Jerry's speech. Just to clarify.XD

    "OK. You-you're right." Without another word, he turned and went back inside.

    "Remarkable," Jerry mused out loud. "All it took was a slightly harsher tone, and he immediately got the point. I wonder . . ." Was it some sort of automatic reaction?
    Weird kid. O_0
    But still, it doesn't detract from the main storyline so I'm not to worried...
    Great chapter though. ^________^

    Next one should be up today am I right? (It said so on page one if I'm not mistaken)
     

    Misheard Whisper

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  • I was talking about the way Matt reacted to Jerry's speech. Just to clarify.XD


    Weird kid. O_0
    But still, it doesn't detract from the main storyline so I'm not to worried...
    Great chapter though. ^________^
    Ah, I see what you mean. That was intentional, however. I'm glad someone picked up on that, though.

    Next one should be up today am I right? (It said so on page one if I'm not mistaken)
    D8 I'm afraid not. I've got a big event on this month, and it's taking hours out of my day. I haven't got a chapter for you today, but it'll be up . . . well, when it's up. Sorry~!
     
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