that's fair

Her

Her

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    how tough are you on friends when a) they've said or done something you morally disagree with or b) they've done something to you that you find objectionable? how does this differ from the way you treat regular people?
     
    I have no offline friends, but I always try to put myself in other people's shoes to understand where they're coming from. I feel like I can't really change someone's mind on something, I can only try to plant the seed and hope it grows into them being more understanding.
     
    It really depends on what it is.

    Generally it takes a lot to offend me to the point of me showing anger or aggression, but I have very low tolerance for any kind of racist or sexist opinions and that's something I've seen a lot of. Most of the time my friends are pretty cool though, and when we fight it's usually petty stuff that isn't really worth explaining. If a complete stranger says something I find morally offensive it's easier for me to ignore that person, because I don't have to deal with them regularly.
     
    I will feel like they have disappointed and kind of betrayed me simply because I expected differently from them. Like when I learned that a friend of mine had done drugs or when another friend had stolen something. "Regular people" meaning people I have no real emotional connection to, I don't expect anything from. As such, I don't react as strongly. I think this is probably a common way to react?
     
    I treat everyone the same. So if they do something I disagree with or wouldn't do myself, I don't generally care if it doesn't affect me - it's none of my business, and people can do whatever they want in their own lives. But if someone does something that affects me personally, that's it. Being acquainted with me does not give someone the right to screw me around.
     
    I used to have a guy friend who would make very crude and objectifying comments about women, in addition to blatant antisemitism. And while I disagreed with absolutely all of it, I just ignored it rather than calling him out. We're not friends anymore, but I will always regret that I never spoke up to him about the issue. However as a result of this experience I have no intention of making the same mistake again.
     
    I mean it depends how close friends they are, if I'm not really that close to them then I can be kinda harsh, but if I've known them for years and are really close to them, I'll usually let it slide.
     
    Fairly inflexible. They do something I think is wrong I'll usually comment on it. I don't like to cause too much more drama than that with friends though so I'll remove myself from a situation I disagree with. I want them to know what I think or feel, but also that I want to move through it if possible.

    Other people, heck, I'll cut 'em out totally or just not engage with them. That's for things that aren't illegal or dangerous. I just don't want to be around people who do certain things or act certain ways.
     
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