The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[FenrirDarkWolf]

@FenrirDarkWolf - I wouldn't be worried. If your mate is long distance, and he only plans to make visits for a while, then you should be fine, so long as you don't personally know anyone that would turn you in immediately. Same goes for if he moved to where you are and you aren't yet of age. I was with my boyfriend for about four months, and was only reported in the last week. We broke up in January, so . . . yeah, it took a while, to say the least.
Not saying it's good that it took a while, but I'm saying the chances are low so long as you don't know any major arses that would like to turn him in.

That's a bit reassuring.
The thing is, we haven't really haven't met... Yet.
I guess we're lucky because we don't know anyone who would turn us in...

 

[Esper]

Age of consent laws is kind of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it's hard to measure maturity with a number, but on the other there are people who really aren't ready for sexual activities, especially with someone older who may have more power and persuasion on account of just being older and having more experience.

I know that when I was 14 I thought I was ready for a lot of things I probably wasn't really ready for (and I suppose I'm grateful I didn't find out for sure until I was a bit older and relatively more mature.) I guess since I'm older I don't have as much a problem with these kinds of laws. I mean, no one really follows them anyway, but they're there for those cases when something bad is genuinely going on. At least, that's how it should be.

 

[EGKangaroo]

The problem I see with the age of consent laws is that many countries have a single border without any grey zone for those who are close in age. Hell, in California, even if both participants in a sexual relation are minors they'd just both be found guilty of unlawful sex, which is completely insane. There are plenty of jurisdictions that do, luckily, allow for close-in-age relations to take place. Those are called Romeo and Juliet laws and they're great examples of allowing minors to enter relationships with other people in acceptable ranges while avoiding any of the nasty consequences of allowing egregious age differences to exist so that the law can actually do its duty to protect without suppression of legitimate love. Texas penal code has a good example of how it works. The age difference can be no greater than 3 years of age as defence against sexual assault and the perceived victim is older than 14 years of age. This would mean that 15 and 18 would be perfectly allowed according to Texan law.

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Texas penal code has a good example of how it works. The age difference can be no greater than 3 years of age as defence against sexual assault and the perceived victim is older than 14 years of age. This would mean that 15 and 18 would be perfectly allowed according to Texan law.

..............
Damn it....
This doesn't apply for people over the age of consent, correct?

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

What also matters is the definition of consent is for whatever place you may be- at least how my state's consent laws work is that it's purely based on whether or not the couple engages in sexual activity will any laws be broken. They can't really find a crime if nothing physical is going on. So, perhaps in any case, any hanky-panky show be left for a later date.

You damn crazy kids, can't you just keep it in your pants?! *walking cane*

Personally, 3 years is definitely not a big whoop in mind especially as you guys get older. This issue really is only an issue now because one of you is over the age of consent and law gets a little strict here, but it has more benefits to those who actually need them than repercussions, so bear with them.

Perhaps people in these situations should spend some time expanding on any emotional relations you have with each other. There's plenty a couple can do than physical stuff, and waiting might just be worth it. I mean, I'm still waiting years to be even so much as kissed, so just be patient.

Also furries.

But if there was nothing sexual going on, Nakuzami, there really can't be that much evidence to expand on.... then again, I don't know how this process works. Just be level headed and find any way you can get help. I know that's wicked easier said than done, but, please press on.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I thought the point of age of consent laws was to stop paedophilia. I'm not comfortable with those laws being in place for any other reason.

If those laws are in place to stop consentual activities involving people that those laws deem not mature enough to make their own decisions, then that's nanny state behaviour that I'm really not comfortable with. In the end, if a 12-year-old wants to have sex, then as much as we might all disapprove and think "oh no that's too young" ultimately it's nobody's business but that 12-year-old and their partner. It's certainly not any government's place to dictate that.

 

[Alice]

The problem with that in my mind is that most 12 year olds don't know much about sex, and don't know the implications of it... plus an adult could very easily convince them to have sex with them, or threaten violence if they don't say it's consensual. Kids are too easily manipulated.

 

[EGKangaroo]

This is certainly why I am all in favour of these kinds of close-in-age laws, because they allow for flexibility and only focus on the very thing they're trying to prevent, which is sexual abuse of children who don't know any better, and all of the other bad things that are associated with that. It's only natural for people to want to explore their sexuality, especially when they reach puberty, and if they do so with people who are not too far apart in age, then it should be possible without the legal drama. That's what justice is supposed to do, serve justice where it's needed. There are definitely some exceptions to when a close-in-age law may apply that need be in place, such as when a relation of authority also exists, like teacher-student or the like. It's very easy to manipulate someone when you're in a position of authority.

..............
Damn it....
This doesn't apply for people over the age of consent, correct?

In fact, it does. The whole point of close-in-age laws is to prevent situations where two people in a perfectly legitimate relation without co-ercion, where one is a minor but only like 3 years apart at most, don't get put on trial for sex offences.

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

In fact, it does. The whole point of close-in-age laws is to prevent situations where two people in a perfectly legitimate relation without co-ercion, where one is a minor but only like 3 years apart at most, don't get put on trial for sex offences.

...Damn it...
The only thing that I truly dislike about mine and his relationship is age and the laws that go with it, 15-going-on-16 and 20...

I wish he was actually here, I can wait for everything...
He and I can't get in trouble for just snuggles, can't I?

 

[Kura]

Not really sure.. but I honestly doubt you'll get in trouble just for snuggles.
Is the option available for you to wait till you have sex, or are you really adamant on having it?

Has he been tested recently and shown you the results btw? Always good to take precautions (especially against clamydia which is usually undetectable.)

I don't think it's against the law to be romantically involved with someone older.. just sexually involved, right? You might want to doublecheck that or maybe even make an anonymous call (payphone or a friend's cell) to kids help phone as they might know what you can do, too.

Basically all anyone wants is for you to be safe and in good hands.

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Not really sure.. but I honestly doubt you'll get in trouble just for snuggles.
Is the option available for you to wait till you have sex, or are you really adamant on having it?

Has he been tested recently and shown you the results btw? Always good to take precautions (especially against clamydia which is usually undetectable.)

I don't think it's against the law to be romantically involved with someone older.. just sexually involved, right? You might want to doublecheck that or maybe even make an anonymous call (payphone or a friend's cell) to kids help phone as they might know what you can do, too.

Basically all anyone wants is for you to be safe and in good hands.

I mean, it's still long-distance for now, and it'll probably be that way until after I graduate, so I doubt sex could be an issue right now...

I don't know if he has... I guess I should ask him later...

Okay....

I know... I think my parents already know about me and him, I'm not sure... I don't know if they know how old he is too... :/

 

[Nakuzami]

Personally, 3 years is definitely not a big whoop in mind especially as you guys get older. This issue really is only an issue now because one of you is over the age of consent and law gets a little strict here, but it has more benefits to those who actually need them than repercussions, so bear with them.

Perhaps people in these situations should spend some time expanding on any emotional relations you have with each other. There's plenty a couple can do than physical stuff, and waiting might just be worth it. I mean, I'm still waiting years to be even so much as kissed, so just be patient.

Also furries.

But if there was nothing sexual going on, Nakuzami, there really can't be that much evidence to expand on.... then again, I don't know how this process works. Just be level headed and find any way you can get help. I know that's wicked easier said than done, but, please press on.

I understand that the laws obviously have their uses, yes, but . . . not when someone's abusing them.
They won't tell us who reported him (and apparently my step-mother for allowing things to go on, so she gets arrested if he does as well). Whoever it was only would have done so for some sort of personal vendetta or jealousy. This is when things become a problem, because they can use and abuse laws like this. Whether anything is proven or not, I can't really see him until after this is all over. I could, but basically if we're alone together for even a split second he'll be accused of something.

Mind you he's also my ex, so all of this really is . . . feh. Due to all of this, our parents certainly won't allow us to see each other for a while, much less hang out. This is also happening at the end of the school year, when both of us have school concerts, he has graduation and then there's my birthday that's coming up. It couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time. We're still going to try and do things for all of these events, but . . . all of this kind of gets in the way.

And, yes, it would seem that we do have close-in-age law of four years. It certainly doesn't change the fact that I can't see him due to the investigation, our families are going to be too paranoid to allow us to seriously hang out for a while, and it won't stop whoever made the report from getting in the way in the future, by any means they can think of. . . .

@Kura - No, it's perfectly fine to be romantically involved with a person. But here's the thing: if you're romantically involved with a person, then they're going to assume that you're sexually involved as well, which allows them to accuse you of things like this. And, again, whether it actually gets you in trouble or not, it's an incredible inconvenience. . . .
I mean, the person who reported us did so because they apparently saw us being "too affectionate" on the street. He is my best friend still, so I give him hugs and everything. The thing is, I'm gay and he's bisexual, so there's obviously something sexual going on between us if we're hugging.
Get what I'm saying?

Point is, no matter the laws nor the truth of the situation, people will find ways to abuse such precautions if they so choose. It's certainly not unheard of, and plenty of lives have been ruined by such things in the past.
My best, and one and only true friendship is already heading down that path, if this keeps up.

 

[Kura]

Hmm.. I just find it strange they can base charges on assumptions. I always thought you needed hard evidence for a proper trial and I know the jury can base a decision on an assumption, but that's why you have a lawyer to persuade anyhow. I mean.. if one person makes a report yet 4 people deny it, then.. I don't really see how it becomes an issue- if anything charges would be dropped since there's not enough support for it.

Then again I have a poor neighbour who has cancer whose wife called the cops on him to charge him for abuse and he was charged.. but he doesn't even have the strength to sit upright so it makes no freaking sense- the grandmother (wife's mother) tells the granddaughter that if the grandson ever gets angry, she should call the cops on him, etc.. so.. it's pretty messed up on that. Men seem to be really treated unjustly in the whole legal side of things. So it is a shame to hear that.. and good lawyers are expensive. Shame you had to split up over age-difference but.. if it was meant to be then it was meant to be. I just hope things push through smoothly regardless of the circumstances.


And long distance is VERY tough.. (I've done long distance too so I understand) but at least there wont be a risk of accusation for that or anything. I know it is kinda sucky but.. maybe because of it, you guys will stick it through and everyone will hopefully be supportive :3

Wishing both of you all the best!

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

And long distance is VERY tough.. (I've done long distance too so I understand) but at least there wont be a risk of accusation for that or anything. I know it is kinda sucky but.. maybe because of it, you guys will stick it through and everyone will hopefully be supportive :3

Wishing both of you all the best!

Thank you. :)

On a lighter note, all my female friends are jealous that I have the hot boyfriend~

 

[Nakuzami]

Hmm.. I just find it strange they can base charges on assumptions. I always thought you needed hard evidence for a proper trial and I know the jury can base a decision on an assumption, but that's why you have a lawyer to persuade anyhow. I mean.. if one person makes a report yet 4 people deny it, then.. I don't really see how it becomes an issue- if anything charges would be dropped since there's not enough support for it.

Then again I have a poor neighbour who has cancer whose wife called the cops on him to charge him for abuse and he was charged.. but he doesn't even have the strength to sit upright so it makes no freaking sense- the grandmother (wife's mother) tells the granddaughter that if the grandson ever gets angry, she should call the cops on him, etc.. so.. it's pretty messed up on that. Men seem to be really treated unjustly in the whole legal side of things. So it is a shame to hear that.. and good lawyers are expensive. Shame you had to split up over age-difference but.. if it was meant to be then it was meant to be. I just hope things push through smoothly regardless of the circumstances.


And long distance is VERY tough.. (I've done long distance too so I understand) but at least there wont be a risk of accusation for that or anything. I know it is kinda sucky but.. maybe because of it, you guys will stick it through and everyone will hopefully be supportive :3

Wishing both of you all the best!

Technically speaking, no charges shall be presented unless they find some evidence during their investigation.

That doesn't really change what I said in my last post, though. That is the trouble they present without having yet to press charges. It certainly would be far worse if they did.

I believe that things will end up working out in our favor, eventually, but that doesn't do anything to help with the constant worry and panic I've been feeling over all of this. Or the paranoia. Or the fact that I can't be with my best friend.
Hopefully this will be over soon and things can go back to . . . well, not normal, considering our parents will begin to interfere, but . . . better than they are now.

@Fenrir - Half of my female friends wanted to date me, so you can say that they were a bit disappointed. d:

EDIT: Oh, here's an update; there is now an order of protection between my friend and myself. I cannot see him or talk to him, or have anyone I know say anything to him, for up to sixty days. If I do, he will get arrested. This means that I cannot go to his concert tonight (figures it happened today. WTH.), he may not come to mine in a few weeks, and I most likely won't be able to see him for my birthday. This also means that the investigation is going further, so it didn't turn out in our favor so far.
The reason they found for going further is basically words that were said (by my step-mother) that they decided to misconstrue into a form so that they could manipulate it into an investigation.
. . .
. . .
. . . Saying that this sucks would be the largest understatement of my life. I don't know what to say. . . .

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

The whole thing really just sucks. Like someone else said, really the only useful thing the dang law does is stop pedophilia.

And even then! It'll never truly stop! They're only impeding a few people doing it, not everyone.

 

[Inkblots]

It's like all those ridiculous warnings labels you see on everything. You know the only reason they're there is because someone was an idiot (and successfully, or nearly successfully, sued the company for not warning them that common sense is necessary before using their product).

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

I'm a bit sad...
My mate can't visit me for the summer because of college. I know it's important, and really wants to to me too, but we both know that his college and my school come first.

Good thing is that he's finally getting a computer and maybe, soon enough, we can video chat. :3

 

[Entermaid]

Hey everyone!

Liked to join. Ask me a question or something, I am bad at these type of introductions XD

 

[FenrirDarkWolf]

Hey everyone!

Liked to join. Ask me a question or something, I am bad at these type of introductions XD

Hello. :)
Since you're here...
What is your gender and sexuality, if applicable?