The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.
 
I'm trying to convince two people that are close to me (friend and family member) to come out of the closet and tell people. But, it's not working out to well, they're both girls, and they don't really want to be judged. My friends mom and dad are deeply against gay/bisexual marriages and people. I don't understand why they do, but they don't let any of her gay friends come into their house or at least while they are there. She once asked her parents what they would do if she was a lesbian and they told her that they would probably disown her. I really thought that was horrible, but I highly doubt her parents would do that.

As for my cousin, my family judges. A lot. But, I'm trying to get her to tell her mom, not her dad tho. I'm pretty sure her mom will be more understanding than her dad. Her mom is nice and all, but she's a bit suspicious because she overheard a part of our conversation. Her dad on the other hand is strongly against it. He even said all gay people should go shoot themselves because it's unnatural. He's the type of person who wouldn't be scared to beat his kids, and he even said 'If I end up killing one, I'll just make another one.' So yea, I don't know if I should still help them some out with it, but I told them I'm here for them.
 
Shining Raichu said:
Hey Toujours, welcome! Have they given an actual reason for not accepting the group? It may not be appropriate given it's a Catholic school (gay-friendly as the school may be, it's not exactly in the official Catholic party line and may be hard to explain to higher-ups?)
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Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.
 
BlooMilk C. said:
Hi, I've been lurking this thread lately, but I'd like to join. I support the LGBTQ community 100% :).
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Welcome, BlooMilk C.! It's great that we're attracting lurkers XD

FreakyLocz14 said:
I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.
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I totally agree, I've often thought this. If we stop making it a big deal, then it will stop being a big deal - but unfortunately, talking about it and actually being in the situation are two different things, so this change will be very slow and gradual at best.

Ctrl.Alt.Geak said:
I tried to tell my mother about 6 years ago, she literally said "No you're not" and I agreed with her and made like it was a joke or something (so I basically re-closeted myself), a few years later she asks "If you were gay you'd tell me right?" to which I said "Of course! But I'm not so don't worry". When I first hit high school she sent me to an in-school program, that was run by the church which basically shoved gender stereotypes in our face and told us to act and look a certain way.
I did tell a friend of mine a few months ago, he didn't take it well, he has nothing against gay people but he wasnt exactly happy about it, we dont talk to each other anymore.
I met an FtM recently who just assumed that I had no interest in the opposite sex however I dont really plan to tell anyone else for a while now.
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Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"

Also, your friend - if he didn't take it well and doesn't talk to you anymore, are you sure he doesn't have anything against gay people?

Toujours said:


Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.
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Ah, I see. So basically they're trying to tactfully squash the group, using the Core Council as a scapegoat?
 
I'm joining. I wasn't a part of the social group, so hopefully I'll be active in the club. As for how I identify: genderqueer biromantic asexual

I haven't come out as anything in real life. My parents are very religious (my mother particularly so), and they're really not open at all to anything different than "normal". Especially trans* issues. Anytime they're presented with an opportunity to learn, they ignore. So I'm keeping my identity as much of a secret as I can from them. It's also from their raising that I wasn't even aware of gays until I entered high school, which was the experience that completely opened my mind to...everything. (That, and the Internet, of course.)

Plus I know a lot of other close-minded people who assume that I should act more of how my sex says I should act rather than the way I'm most comfortable being. (To give some insight, I'm a female assigned at birth, who has a fluid gender, presents as androgynous, and prefers either gender-neutral pronouns [zie and zir] or male pronouns.)

Then there's the fact that some of the people that I spend my days with don't have good views on people who are bi. And asexuality isn't that well-known. So if I do come out, there's a lot of explaining I would have to do, and some days I'm just so tired of explaining everything every time.

On the plus side, there are a few people that know what I am. Only one person in real life knows, and he accepts me no matter what I do, so knowing him helps me get through my days. And all of my friends online have some idea about me because I'm more comfortable online. Which is quite obvious from this post.
 
Hi, Asty! :D Good to see you joining. Also.. biromantic? Haven't heard that term. Sounds it would be something like dating either gender, depending on the person, even if you don't have any physical spark with them. Like.. a mental type crush, or something. That might be just typical asexuality, though.

&Ctrl.Alt.Geak, sorry about how your mom reacted some years back.
I feel bad for anyone who's parents either deny, ignore, or try to talk them out of it. My mom did a bit of the ignoring the issue for awhile, but apparently it was still on her mind a lot, even if she didn't want to bring it up with me, and pay attention to it. She eventually did, though. I can't understand how some parents would disown their own child, or deny their feelings, etc. It's depressing to think about.
 
Shining Raichu said:
I've never heard the term biromantic either, I'd love to hear more about it. The more diversity the better. Welcome Astinus!
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Since asexuals don't have any sexual attraction to any gender, we further identify mainly by who we become romantically and aesthetically attracted to. A biromantic like Astinus is open to having romantic relationships with either gender, heteroromantics like myself are primarily attracted to the opposite gender, homoromantics are attracted primarily to the same gender, then you've got panromantics and aromantics as well. XD

Just because an asexual doesn't feel the need for sex doesn't mean we don't have the same emotional needs as everyone else. :P

For further study, here's a good resource for a lot of the terminology used by asexuals: [link]
 
Hello everyone, and welcome to the new members (which I finally added to the list!)

Sorry for not posting, been getting ready for graduation.
 
Shining Raichu said:
Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"
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It would take a strong willed person to get defensive, but at the time I figured it would be easier to just agree with her. Most of my family have a very misguided view on what a homosexuality is.

On a lighter note; welcome to BlooMilkC and Astinus! :)
 
Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told an uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & gave me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)

Alternative said:
Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.
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There's a musical with the same premise. It's called Were the World Mine.
 
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I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & game me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)
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Awww, that's touching. :'( Sucks that your friend went around and told everyone though, omg. What a chatter box.

I dont' have a "coming out" story, but the closest I can get to it is breaking away from my religious family in that they don't agree with it. It shouldn't be too difficult, considering I have a very liberal aunt and grandmother, but still, it's a weird feeling to finally have an opinion way different than how you were raised to think.

I'm joining. I wasn't a part of the social group, so hopefully I'll be active in the club. As for how I identify: genderqueer biromantic asexual

I haven't come out as anything in real life. My parents are very religious (my mother particularly so), and they're really not open at all to anything different than "normal". Especially trans* issues. Anytime they're presented with an opportunity to learn, they ignore. So I'm keeping my identity as much of a secret as I can from them. It's also from their raising that I wasn't even aware of gays until I entered high school, which was the experience that completely opened my mind to...everything. (That, and the Internet, of course.)

Plus I know a lot of other close-minded people who assume that I should act more of how my sex says I should act rather than the way I'm most comfortable being. (To give some insight, I'm a female assigned at birth, who has a fluid gender, presents as androgynous, and prefers either gender-neutral pronouns [zie and zir] or male pronouns.)

Then there's the fact that some of the people that I spend my days with don't have good views on people who are bi. And asexuality isn't that well-known. So if I do come out, there's a lot of explaining I would have to do, and some days I'm just so tired of explaining everything every time.

On the plus side, there are a few people that know what I am. Only one person in real life knows, and he accepts me no matter what I do, so knowing him helps me get through my days. And all of my friends online have some idea about me because I'm more comfortable online. Which is quite obvious from this post.
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Welcome mommy! :) <3 idc you're my mommy always lol ;;

Had a lot of reading and catching up to do, but I agree with Hybrid Trainer. It's so great to learn about all this stuff. :)

Also, about parents having difficult reactions, I'm not a parent, and don't really intend on being one (or well, at least not soon), but I am a sympathizer. I imagine it's hard to accept when your child has become something you disapprove of, or something that you would have never expected or wanted from your child. In all honesty, if I had a child that came out as being gay, I would have a hard time accepting it too, however, I wouldn't go as far to disown them and/or stop loving them. I'd learn to accept it eventually. I guess the whole "disowning" thing is just a weird way of trying to deal with it for them. This is just what I'm assuming though, judging from the stories here and stories I've heard elsewhere.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

I have never had anyone come out to me. But this does remind me of another story. My Bible face-shoving friend (yeah, I'll mention her a lot) dated a guy for three years that was using her as a cover up. And she had noooo idea. Figured she would have caught on by the fact he wouldn't kiss her or anything, but then again, they were younger so idk. But anyway, he eventually broke up with her after coming out and pretty much everyone in school thought she made him gay. Even she was convinced of it at one point, and just thought she turned guys gay. People wouldn't even talk to her and it was pretty much impossible for her to get a boyfriend for about a year.

Yeah, I've jumped topics like four times in one post. D; My bad, lmao.
 
I think that anyone here who has ever had estranged relationship with a parent, sibling, or extended family member would agree that family isn't just a blood relation. It's something you form through relationships with people. It hurts when the family you were given at birth rejects you, but you have to realize you're not alone in this world. Your family is bigger than you think it is. /cheesy speech over.
 
I remember the days when such a topic was taboo here at PC, even though a majority of us would admit to our not-straight sexualities on MSN or such...

Hi, I'm Greg. I'm gay, and moreorless out. My family knows (they just fail to acknowledge it, most of the time) and if anyone asks, I'm like "Oh, yeah."

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
Uh, well, I'm gay. o/ It's also seemed like the right thing to do. I went through school in a "worldly" curriculum, and that basically opened me to the idea that everyone should be equal. Combined with my own personal bias, I don't see why adoption/marriage should be limited to just a man/woman. :-D


As for the Minnesota bill... grrrr. As a kid that's been born and raised here, it seriously pisses me off that my state would even consider that bull. I know it's already in the books that I won't be able to marry, but we should be going the opposite way!!! >O


Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.
My parental story is the same blah story of tears, hugs, and screams, so I'll ignore that.

My fun one is actually the first person I came out to IRL. (I've been a gayfag online forever, but not so much IRL. I was a closetcase) I had a serious crush on this boy a year younger than me, and my friend kinda had... access to the computer system, where information is stored.

She was bugging me to find out who I liked, and I made a deal - if I told her, she'd have to get the information for me. :D She was a little surprised when it was a boy, and I got my piece of paper with his full name, address... and *_* his picture. This was in like, November, way before the yearbook would come out - so this was my best bet. ;) Stalkerish, bad, but it made me life. I called it "Pretty Paper" and I kept it close to my heart.

---

I won't likely be active in here, but I may pop in from time to time :D I'm not active on PC at all (except in my Webbies section, where I post every few weeks to all the updated threads...) but I'll try. ;D
 
Welcome, Greg! Thanks for sharing your stories with us :) I look forward to your future pop-ins :)

twistedpuppy said:
Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told an uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & gave me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)
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Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P)

Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
 
Shining Raichu said:
Oh my God! So, your father... how are things with him now? If you're now 'out' and your father knows it, does that mean you're no longer allowed to live at home? I personally find him to be a disgusting excuse for a human being (there are more expletives I won't use because he's still your father and you may not like people talking badly of him :P)

Your friend I'm not so surprised by, but your parents' reactions break my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
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Things with him are ok. He's learn to tolerate my sexuality. Sort of.
He thinks that me being gay is my problem not his. Interpret that however you'd like.

I'm out & I'm still welcomed under 'his' roof. I'm just not allowed to bring any guys over. Gay ones at least. It's something to do with their religion & I have to respect that.
 
Ugh their religion, I think people use that as a cop-out because they know religion is the one thing people feel they have to respect. I get that you have to abide by it because it's their house (and I say house, not home, because it's your home too and you should be able to be yourself in it), but you do not have to respect it. I know I don't. So, they're never going to want anything to do with that part of your life? Even if you fall in love and decide to get married, you're never going to be allowed to bring your husband into their home? That's just disgusting.
 
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