The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[Ineffable~]

When I say I cannot stand the opposite sex physically, I mean 1) I was born female and I cannot stand the sight of the male body whatsoever and 2) because I cannot stand males physically as much as I do, I am concerned that I would abousolutely hate looking at myself in the mirror.
However, while I am attracted to females I really cannot stand being in a female body either and am constantly trying to appear to be as masculine as possible and prefer to be adressed by male pronouns.

Maybe I should have just said that to begin with.

I really do appreciate your and Ineffable's input though :)

Derp, I thought you were born male. @__@;
I can't give much helpful advice, just do whatever you can you know?

well my mom probaly has figured it out so im not worried about her. but my dad hates gay men but loves lesbians so i dont know what i should do

Do you think your mother would be accepting about it? If you think she would be supportive then, like Scarf said, you can always use her as a sort of mediator or perhaps even have her tell your father. Also if you have siblings or friends that you think would be supportive, it might make it easier to come out to them first. Make sure you have at least a few people "on your side" before making any rash moves.

 

[Shining Raichu]

But before I totally derail this thread I do want to point out that the gay rights movement as a whole has a very white face and there are some varying levels of, if not racism, then racial ... ignorance? ... within it. Like a gay friend of mine has told me that there a lot of gay men who have a "no fats, no Asians" policy when it comes to dating and are very public about this. I personally don't like to see other issues/groups getting sidelined for one group's cause.

I don't think this is particularly a case of racism. While being so open about it and putting it in the form of some official policy is incredibly tasteless, I think this is just a matter of attraction. The blunt truth is that a lot of people are not attracted to overweight people and Asian people.

The issue I have with that is that by being outspoken about that, it creates a culture of disrespect toward both and a sense that you are above them in some way. That would be the racist aspect, but the core attraction concept isn't.

 

[-ty-]

I think that some gay people, including myself to an extent, strive to almost dispose of any "pejorative" qualities we have; essentially, perfectionism, in order to compensate for how others perceive our sexuality. I don't pretend to act straight, but I would say that I try to be very ambitious, stay in shape, and plan to get married and have children. Basically, possess the qualities that most men who are straight envy.

Sometimes I feel like i have to separate myself from the "******", "slackers", "druggies" and "chubs" in my dating life, and aside from the "chubs" category, I would not be friends with those that I would place into those categories. Although the labels seem harsh, I would never treat anyone in these categories poorly as a person, but I don't identify with them, and I think it is fair for me to exclude them from my love life. As far as race goes...I have a tendency to be more attracted to Caucasian men and mixed Caucasian men, but I think that there are attractive people from all ethnicities. I think white gay men feel like they have more in common with other white gay men, and they may also think that dating a white man is less pejorative than dating a person of color, going back to the whole compensation for being homosexual; I don't think it is horrible for those gay men to exclude other races from their dating life, but I think that it is a limiting prerequisite that will downsize their selection pool of gay men to date, in a pool that is already sparse. But hey, I may be a bit of a hypocrite because I won't date overweight men, thus, cutting my own selection pool.

 

[Alice]

Sometimes I feel like i have to separate myself from the "******", "slackers", "druggies" and "chubs" in my dating life, and aside from the "chubs" category, I would not be friends with those that I would place into those categories.

I think that's just called having standards. lol

I don't recall anyone ever mentioning my sexuality in any way actually. Some of my friends knew that I liked a girl named Allison, and the rest were all nerds and didn't have girlfriends either, so I don't think anyone had any reason to question it. lol

Sort of off topic, but I just remembered, completely out of nowhere, that I used to tell people "I'm a Christian, I can't be Gay." so people must have asked me. I don't remember ever actually being asked though lol.

 

[U.Flame]

I think that some gay people, including myself to an extent, strive to almost dispose of any "pejorative" qualities we have; essentially, perfectionism, in order to compensate for how others perceive our sexuality. I don't pretend to act straight, but I would say that I try to be very ambitious, stay in shape, and plan to get married and have children. Basically, possess the qualities that most men who are straight envy.

Sometimes I feel like i have to separate myself from the "******", "slackers", "druggies" and "chubs" in my dating life, and aside from the "chubs" category, I would not be friends with those that I would place into those categories. Although the labels seem harsh, I would never treat anyone in these categories poorly as a person, but I don't identify with them, and I think it is fair for me to exclude them from my love life. As far as race goes...I have a tendency to be more attracted to Caucasian men and mixed Caucasian men, but I think that there are attractive people from all ethnicities. I think white gay men feel like they have more in common with other white gay men, and they may also think that dating a white man is less pejorative than dating a person of color, going back to the whole compensation for being homosexual; I don't think it is horrible for those gay men to exclude other races from their dating life, but I think that it is a limiting prerequisite that will downsize their selection pool of gay men to date, in a pool that is already sparse. But hey, I may be a bit of a hypocrite because I won't date overweight men, thus, cutting my own selection pool.

I also treat people equally but I too can't help not being attracted to overweight people. (even though I'm a little overweight myself T_T) But I find any race attractive unlike people I know. A lot of people tell me they can't see themselves dating anyone black. I can, I've seen many black girls in my school that I would like to date. As well as whites, asians, pretty much anyone. I'd think I wouldn't have much trouble finding dates because I'm straight (no offense) but a surprising amount of people think I'm gay because I support gay rights.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I think that's just called having standards. lol

I lol'd, a lot. Honestly ty, if that's the best stock you've managed to come up with as boyfriends in the past, then I think you need to start looking in a different place.

 

[Kura]

I don't think it's just a gay thing either.. ._. Like I, for one, can find people of different races to be good looking, but, to be honest, I found I can only truly be attracted to paler skinned people. (This is if we're talking about physicality only.)
I don't know what it is, really.. like I can look at a black guy and say "he's good looking/ he's really handsome" but I don't feel an attraction : | *Shrug*~

 

[Ineffable~]

I don't think it's just a gay thing either.. ._. Like I, for one, can find people of different races to be good looking, but, to be honest, I found I can only truly be attracted to paler skinned people. (This is if we're talking about physicality only.)
I don't know what it is, really.. like I can look at a black guy and say "he's good looking/ he's really handsome" but I don't feel an attraction : | *Shrug*~

I get this same exact thing. I just don't like really dark skin. It's not even a race thing, because I don't even get attracted to white people that are really tan. It's just, iunno, dark skin isn't for me. That doesn't mean I have to go around saying "black people get outta my face y'all r sick homely mofos". ~_~ Let's have our manners.

 

[Shiny]

I honestly don't have any racism or dislike towards another race, but it's moreso that I have a favouritism towards pale men (just a thing I like - call it fetish if you must).

On a side note, my schools 3 / 4 Media class is doing the autobiographical film Milk as one of it's texts alongside Modern Family which I think will show gay culture to an otherwise heterosexual school and broaden their views.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I love Modern Family, but I'm not sure that showing them sitcom gays is really a way to open their eyes, particularly if you're trying to defend against stereotyping lol

 

[Shiny]

I know but I suppose that the stigma around homosexuality will decrease with increased contact with it. And my schools actually working to stop homophobia from what I gather, they've been putting up Coming Out posters around the school.

 

[-ty-]

I lol'd, a lot. Honestly ty, if that's the best stock you've managed to come up with as boyfriends in the past, then I think you need to start looking in a different place.

lol, well I only had one boyfriend in the past. And he satisfied the druggy, wh***, and unambitious categories, basically everything except overweight, but he hid the above qualities pretty well. But yeah you are right, I pretty much ended up with the exact opposite of what I wanted. I am moving down state next fall so I will hold off until then to date, but the population is much much much higher, so I should have more options!

 

[Keiran]

Hiii, I just discovered this thread and would love to join. I'm a homoromantic asexual. Everyone knows, but hardly anyone believes me, which is annoying but I don't care. I'm the only one I know in real life, so it's always nice to see others, albiet online. ^_^

 

[Shining Raichu]

That's awesome ty, I hope there are some better guys where you're moving XD

Hi Keiran777! Welcome! The only other homoromantic asexual I've ever heard of is Project Runway's Tim Gunn. I don't watch the show, but I saw an interview with him on TV one time and he identified himself as exactly that.

Meanwhile, I think it's time for a new question, since things seem to have slowed down a little:

How do you feel about the LGBT equality battle being seen as a 'first-world problem' that won't matter as long as there are people living in third-world poverty?

 

[Esper]

I'm pretty sure there are some other homoromantic asexual members on PC (or was it biromantic?) Anyway, for the question.

How do you feel about the LGBT equality battle being seen as a 'first-world problem' that won't matter as long as there are people living in third-world poverty?

Is it the idea that says we shouldn't worry about LGBT rights in the developing world because poverty is "more pressing" or something like that? I think that's the wrong way of looking at it. There are places in the third world where gay people can be attacked with impunity, where governments can kill you for being gay. I mean, what good is it helping countries when they're still doing things like that? You can and should fix the all the problems in a developing country. Education is really the most important thing as far as fixing the problems of a country. Ugh. I can't express what I'm trying to say.

It's a fight worth fighting everywhere.

 

[Ineffable~]

Sorry for my prolonged absence guiz. I shall use Thanksgiving as my excuse.

Since I think it's relevant here, I'll mention that my sister is now apparently willing to address me as a girl when we're alone, a fact I discovered when she called me "Mags" right before saying goodbye and leaving to go back to school. :3

How do you feel about the LGBT equality battle being seen as a 'first-world problem' that won't matter as long as there are people living in third-world poverty?

I don't get it. I mean do you mean in viewing third-world countries people don't think it's a bad thing that most of them don't accept us all as equals? I wasn't aware that anyone thought this, but no I don't think giving all people their civil rights is something that should only happen in developed countries. @.@;

 

[Shining Raichu]

What I meant by the question is people saying that LGBT rights basically don't matter because the third world exists, and while there are people in third world countries dying of starvation and various diseases, no other issues in the world matter.

 

[for him.]

I believe that all countries should have rights for all kinds of people. Not just LGBT, but that is one of the biggest fights for equality at the moment. I don't think that the fight for LGBT equality should just be for first world countries because many other second and third world countries execute many LGBT people.

 

[Esper]

What I meant by the question is people saying that LGBT rights basically don't matter because the third world exists, and while there are people in third world countries dying of starvation and various diseases, no other issues in the world matter.

So... they would say that as long as there is poverty somewhere in the world we can't try to have equality in the first world? Ridiculous. People who say things like that must be dumb if they think you can't work on more than one problem at the same time. I mean, do they really think that everyone should stop fighting whatever problems they have because there are worse problems somewhere else in the world?

 

[Nakuzami]

How do you feel about the LGBT equality battle being seen as a 'first-world problem' that won't matter as long as there are people living in third-world poverty?

I think I have to agree with Scarf here; it's not like people can't work on more than one probelm at once. There will be people living in poverty/starvation for quite some time, and it's not a problem that we can fix by just accepting and acknowledging it and whatnot, it's a problem that will take much work to fix, but even if we're working towards that we can still focus on other problems.

Has anybody read this . . . wait, Ima put it in a big link so everybody can see it! :3

>CLICK HERE, LIKE NAOW<

There we go, that should be big enough!
Anyways, has anybody read that (before I posted the link, at least)? I read it last week . . . OMG, it's so great, let's pretend that I wrote it :D
So, what do you think about it?

Hm . . . I'm tempted to ask what everybody's views on things like zoophilia/beastiality are, as they kinda relate to this topic more than comparing LGBT people to people living in poverty, being a type of sexuality(?) and all . . . .