Things a Pokémon anime character never say

[TheFuturePokemon]

Pikachu: "Ash use Thunderbolt"

Ash: "aaasshhh aaahhh chuuu"

 

[TheShinyMew]

Brock: Misty, I'm late double cheeseburgers!

Jessie: For weeks, it has been our goal to acquire Pikachu for... *as she starts to speak to Meowth and James, a Krabby Patty made with gross-out items quickly zooms in the screen; Jessie turns around and points at the sign* AHA!!

Mew: Ever alert, Lucario has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.
Lucario: Stop shouting! I'm napping!

Kyogre: There's evil afoot.
Manaphy: EVIL! Where is it?
Kyogre: There it is! (points at Lucario) You know what this means? (opens up box with shiny rings)
Manaphy: Donuts!
Kyogre: Oh, brother. (puts ring on Manaphy) Say the oath.
Manaphy: (in his adult voice) Manaphy and Kyogre, UNITE! (the ring Manaphy wears works) Use a Hydro Pump at him!

Mewtwo: Listen up, you villains. I wanna play Bomberman Quest on my Game Boy Color. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife!
Mew: What is going on in here?
Mewtwo You may kiss the bride! (Charizard gets kicked out)
Blastoise: Did you re-unite Mewtwo?
Charizard: No, but I'm married.

Tyrogue: I think I'm going to be sick! (He vomits)

Azurill: Where's the leak, ma'am?

 

[Know-Nothing Bozo the Non-Wonder Dog]

Ash: I really feel bad for Team Rocket. Maybe I'll donate Pikachu to them.
Pikachu: OMG. o_O

 

[Dark: Random Guy]

Gold: I just realised! My hat is made out of DVD's! omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!

Ash: *anything intelligent*

Pikachu: I'm batmaaaaaan...

Mewtwo: It's so fun to be a whiny, brooding emo pokemon! why don't pokemon do it more often?!

 

[Dark: Random Guy]

Lance: The guy above me just quoted Yugioh The Abridged Series.

Ash: I caught a legendary pokemon!

Darkrai: Woah...my theme music is awesome! *steals someones MP3 player from their dreams*
Mewtwo: That is a horribly stupid misuse of your powers.
Darkrai: Hey shut up! At least i've got a theme song that isn't a remix of the normal battle theme that's only in one game!
Mewtwo: *cries*

Arceus: Anyone who has me is considered a hacker whether they got me legit or not! Hooray!

Luvdisc: Why does everyone hate me!? *cries*

Kyogre: Oh hey Groudon. What's up?
Groudon: You're flying in my airspace again! That's it mister! You're grounded!
Kyogre: Dude. That was terrible. Hang your head in shame.

 

[TheShinyMew]

Mew: Dude, where's my Krabby Patty?

Reshiram: You're losing it! Don't you know that award is a load of... (Zekrom gets the paper off the wall but he flings it into the fan and it sprays Reshiram with all the shredded paper)...garbage.
Zekrom: (flies off) Please don't tell Kyurem about this! It'll hurt my chances of winning the award
Reshiram: I already told you, that award is a bunch of... (sprayed with shredded paper again)...baloney!

 

[DoctorFred]

Ash: OMG, a legendary pokemon. I'm gonna catch it.
Brock: It's not evolving!
Ash: Pikachu, why won't you go into the pokeball!? *tries to get pikachu into the pokeball*
May and Dawn: I don't wanna do contests anymore, i'm sticking to pokemon Gyms!
Team Rocket: We're tired of trying to steal Pikachu, let's go catch some Reshiram's!!!
Ash: I'm really a girl! *rips off costume*
Brock: Pokemon Breeding sucks!
Pikachu: "Mother. Time to go! *Pika-Chuuuuuuuu*
Ash: Omg, my voice got deeper! Yay!

 

[SamuraiMaster]

Uh I'll just say they never say this because they don't.

*As Team Rocket makes off with Pikachu; Ash takes out a pistol and fires in the air getting the attention of everyone in the area*
Ash: That's my bread and butter you're f***ing with!

Metalocalypse references rule.

 

[TheShinyMew]

Misty: Let's catch some Oshawotts!

*Cut to Entei walking. An Unown X holding a berry pops up from inside the bushes, made with leaves*
Unown X: You won't be sorry!
Entei: *throws his paw on it* No! *turns around and sees the normal Unown X*
Unown X: It's delicious!
http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Oshawott_(Pokémon)

 

[AliceBlaze]

James: (Has a crush on Jessie but too nervous to admit it)
Meowth: What's wrong James?
James: I have this friend who has a problem.
Meowth: What's his name?
James: (Makes up a name) Erm...Jimmy Jim Jim...Dongalong?
Meowth: That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.
Rocket Grunt 1: (Runs away crying)
Rocket Grunt 2: Hey Jimmy Jim Jim! Come back!

Ash: (Sees a woman with a manly voice and hair similar to James')
Woman: Hello there child, would you like me to raise that Pikachu for you?
Ash: HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM?! (Tries to rip clothes off woman thinking it's James then sees the real Team Rocket hiding behind a bush)
Jessie: Erm...prepare for trouble?
Ash: Well this is awkward.

Paul: (Singing) Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows! Everything is wonderful and what I feel when we're together!
Ash: Get lost!

 

[TheShinyMew]

Keludeo: I need a black hero's promise. Repeat after me: Woo-ha, woo-ha, near Zekrom I'll never go.
Victini: Woo-ha, woo-ha, near Zekrom I'll never go.

(lightning shot from Zekrom fries Keludeo in the behind)

Keludeo: Yow!! Mother of Diamond and Pearl! Fire on the hot deck!
Victini: Ahh! Mother of Diamond and Pearl. Fire on the hot deck.

 

[SamuraiMaster]

Strange.

I have never heard ash say this.

"I think I'm in love."

Always Brock.....

 

[TheShinyMew]

Snivy: *Raises his hand* Is mayonnaise is an instrument?
Mew: No. *Snivy raises his hand again* Horseradish is not an instrument, either.

 

[MurasakiYugata]

BROCK: I dunno, Ash. That Nurse Joy just isn't as pretty as the other ones.


JESSIE: James, what happened to your voice? Lately you've sounded so...straight.


ASH: *walks up to a girl in a bar* So, I hear you like mudkips....

 

[TheShinyMew]

BROCK: I dunno, Ash. That Nurse Joy just isn't as pretty as the other ones.


JESSIE: James, what happened to your voice? Lately you've sounded so...straight.


ASH: *walks up to a girl in a bar* So, I hear you like mudkips....

Latias: *Holds a Soul Dew* Here's a present for you! *Latios slams a Soul Dew on her head* You're welcome!

*Smeargle laughing*
Farfetch'd: Smeargle! Oh, my stick! *the stick with wings flies away* SMEARGLE!!!

*The peppers spills on Tepig's rug*
Tepig: Not on the rug.

Misty: I'm Merrrrrrrrmaid Girl!

 

[AliceBlaze]

*Dawn and Pachirisu are standing by a machine in professor Rowan's lab*
Dawn: Where did you get that poffin?
Pachirisu: Poffin button.
Dawn: But the professor didn't install a poffin button.
Pachirisu: Oh then where did I get this?

Entei: You two are pathetic. Raikou, pretend I'm Suicune.
Raikou: Ok and who am I?
Entei: You're Raikou.
Suicune: Can I be Ho-Oh?
Entei: No! Wait, why?
Suicune: Because it's a good leader.
Entei: Would you butt out?
Raikou: Hey you can't talk to Ho-Oh like that, Entei.
Entei: I'm Suicune, you're Raikou. *Uses flamethrower on Raikou* Now what are you going to do? *Raikou uses thunderbolt on Entei* Raikou, why didn't you hit Suicune?
Raikou: You said you were Suicune, Suicune.
Suicune: *Imitating Ho-Oh* Squawk! It's true Entei! Now get back to training!

 

[Dark: Random Guy]

Ash: I am a man!
Misty: I AM A MAN!
May: I am a man!
Dawn: No way. i am not saying that...
Brock: My friends have no originality!

Brock: My hair needs to be spikier!

Ash: Spiky hair is awesome!

Ash: Yo man i be da gangsta!

 

[The warden]

Ash: Finally I caught them all.
Oak: Really?

 

[TheShinyMew]

Lugia: That means you'll never escape this time, Mew! Your barrier bubble is implementable!
Mew: That's exactly what I was hoping for. Wheee!
Lugia: Whoa! (Mew knocks Lugia over with the bubble)
Mew: Mew!
Lugia: STOP! (Shoots an Aeroblast at Mew, but miss her due to the bubble)
Mew: Thanks for making this easy. Untill next time! (Floats away)

 

[mzmingle]

Drew: May I love you!
Ash: I LOST, OH YE I LOST O YE!
Team Rocket: Prepare for trouble.....
Ash: Make it double
To protect the world from devastation.
To unite all people within our nation
To Denounce the evil evil of truth and love
To extend our reach to stars above Jessie James Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light Surrender now or prepare to fight Meowth that's right
I KNOW!
James: Wow, you know the motto well...
Jessie:Ash, join us!

Brock:I AINT GOING TO ISSHU, NO Waay!