Things a Pokémon anime character never say

[TheShinyMew]

Dewgong: I like to live in the Unova region, please!

Note Unova is an English name for Isshu.

 

[LightSoul]

Red: NURSE JOY!! HEAL ME FREAKIN' POKèYS!
Nurse Joy: Okay, I'll take 'em..
Red: Aren't you gonna put the to sleep to recover?
Nurse Joy: WHAT!? WE HAVE SOME FANCY GANGSTA GADGETS THAT WILL HEAL YOUR POKèMON IN 3 SECONDS!
Red: Okay...(I love gangsta gadgets!)

Wooper: I herd you don't liek Wooperz..

Lyra: I hate wearing this stupid clothes and I hate PRECIOUSMETALSHIPPING!
Kris: Bla, bla, just think your dating with...
Lyra: Don't you dare say...
Kris: ASH!

Uxie: I hate yellow...
Mespirit: I hate Team Galactic..
Azelf: What are you talking about!? TEAM GALACTIC IS AWESOME!

Lass: I have a crush on a tuber..
Lady: AAH! Tubers are like, 7 years old!
Beauty: Actually, I love PSYCHICS!

 

[TheShinyMew]

Paras: Hey, who left the bowl of mushrooms in here?

Victini: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a burger with cheese, toenail clippings and nose hairs.
Mew: Not nose hairs.

Gastrodon: Sorry. I'm were all out of vomit.
Grimer: (room is covered in vomit) Yay!

 

[Karel_Kazuki]

Ash:Hehe Yugi couldn't last 5 seasons with me, his weak ass.
________________

Falkner:I'm the fliest guy the Blind has ever seen BD
Brock:You got that right ! xD
________________

Arceus:who's older, Mew or me?
Mewtwo:I place my money on Kyurem : P
________________
Zapdos:I call this tri meeting to an order
Birds,Beasts,Golems,Fairies,and...... Cloud Creatures......are in session.
Lets start.
Groudon Bursts in with Kyogre Rayquaza, Sinnoh and Unova dragons.
HEY, WE"RE TRIOS AS WELL!
Registeel:But you guys had your own cover games <_<;;
Zekrom:So Did Suicune but you didnt kick him! D:<

And thus the battle of Legendaries commenced.There were no survivors. xP

_______________

Announcer:and thus concludes the history of Pokemon
Ash:....WHO TF PUTS THIS IN A GAME?NO ONE CARES -____-
_______________

Rowan:I wonder why I'm the only guy not named after a plant.Why couldn't I be Palm, or Orchid or Sunflower?
Dawn:Because you're mother meant to say Rose but yawned xD.
_______________

Ash:Its been 15 years since I started...Shouldnt I be like 25?How old am I?

_______________

Random Trainer:Ash,why doesnt your Pikachu stay in its Pokeball?
Ash:I sold it because he couldn't pay rent.Sadly it was only worth 100 Pokedollars -___-
_______________
Ash:Red ,you suck.You let a nebie come and beat you three years after you beat Gary.You are the worst doppleganger ever.

Red: -___- Look here ,How many championships have you won in 10 years? Don't count Orange Island cause it only took 4 badges, that sorry excuse for a league.Everytime I saw Gary,I kicked his ass.How many times have you lost?Yeah thought as much.You couldn't even win Sinnoh with your OLD pokemon,sorry excuse for a trainer.Don't come to me with Crap like that again for I take some Dirt and Double Mudslap you with it -___-
Ash: ._.

 

[TheShinyMew]

Mewtwo: I don't care what Zekrom said! I just want... *liquid spills on him*
Mew: Coffee rain!
Mewtwo: It's soda.
Mew: Soda rain!

Keldeo: What? It's just an ordinary hamburger... *camera zooms in to show a burger made with bubbles and spinach* OH MY GOODNESS! LUGIA!!!!
Mew: I've tried, Keldeo. I really did.
Keldeo: What now?
Mew: A customer ordered a medium drink, and I gave her a large! I gave her a large! I've soiled the good name! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!

 

[Pokemon Master Derrville]

Team Rocket: Why dont we just go catch our own Pikachu? Remember when us and those Twerps ran into a whole freaking colony of them in a forest in Kanto?!

 

[darkpokeball]

Meowth: Hey, Jesse, James! We finally got Pikachu!
Jesse: How'd you get rid of Ash?
Meowth: *burps*
James: How'd you get rid of the twerps he always hangs out with?
Wobbufett: Woba...*BURP!*...fett...

 

[Unknown#]

Ash: Hmmm. I'm going to a new region. Should I start of with just my Pikachu that looses a few levels whenever I go to a new region, or should I just bring all of those other Pokemon I have that are like level 90 or something?

Jessie: Working for Team Rocket is getting boring!
James: But the boss will try to kill us if we leave!
Meowth: Who needs the boss! I heard that Team Galactic is hiring!

 

[avolonsaber]

Ash: 649 Pokemon!? I think its time we explored Orre, Pikachu.

 

[TheShinyMew]

Pikachu: 649 Pokemon!? It's time to go the Unova region, Piplup!

Sandile: Great idea, Minccino! One hamburger, please.
Minccino: (sighs) Is that for here or to go? (Quickly covers mouth)
Sandile: Umm...
(Sandile continues saying "Um" while Minccino bangs her head on the cash register)

 

[DefiningTheDecade]

James: Leo Burnett and 4Kids are the devil!! LEO BURNETT!!!!

Ash: RASENGAN!!!!!

Brock: I am an avenger, I will restore my clan, and destroy a certain somebody

Ash: IT'S TIME TO D-D-DDDDDDDDDDUEL!!!!!!!!

James: Jessie, let's give up, were not getting Pikachu ever....
Meowth: ABOUT TIME!!!!!!

Brock: OH NURSE JOY, I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!!!!!

Ash: I know your Team Rocket in disguise, I have seen all your tricks, it's getting old, stop it!!!!!

Jessie: Prepare for trouble!!!
James: Make it double!!!
Meowth: Make it TRIPLE!!!!! What, you always forget me until the end!!!

Ash: I miss Misty.......

May: Forget these contests, I'm gonna collect gym badges from now on.....

Magikarp: I swear to god when I evolve, I'm gonna kill you all!!!!!!



You may check out any time you like, but you may never leave!!!!!!

Gary: CHIDORI!!

Ash:I will become Hokage. Believe it

Ash: Screw pokemon! LET'S GO DIGIMON!

Mewtwo: Mew is better than me

Misty: Pikachu you're ugly!

Ash: What happened to regular gyms? I want to pump some iron! >:o

 

[TheShinyMew]

Smoochum (singing): Piplup is the best friend in the world! Piplup is the best friend in the universe! Piplup...
Blitzle (singing): Likes Blitzle more than Smoochum!
Smoochum (singing): And Piplup is the worst enemy in history!

 

[darkpokeball]

ASH: Check it out! I got 151 friends on Facebook! Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur...
PIKACHU: This might take a while...
*
ASH: What the--Giratina seems agitated!! It's destroying anything! There's only one way to stop this!!
GIRATINA: *ROOOAAARRR!!!*
ASH: Hey, Giratina!
GIRATINA: *looks towards Ash* Meow?
ASH: *hula dancing* Lalalala...
*
ASH: Yes! I've caught the legendary pokemon, Lugia!
PIKACHU: Ash, that's a Magikarp.
ASH: YOU CAN TALK?!
*
ASH: Really, why am I saying things that I really don't usually say?
PIKACHU: Perhaps we're fictional and being used in a game on a Pokemon forum.
ASH: Chances of that are probably 1 in a gajillion!
PIKACHU: A gajillion isn't a number. And using the chance calculator, the chances are...99.99%
ASH: You have a chance calculator?
PIKACHU: Yes, I borrowed it from Sonic the Hedgehog.
*Sonic speeds in*
SONIC: Yo, pika, can I have my chance calculator back?
ASH: WHOA! IT MUST BE A NEW POKEMON!
SONIC: What?
ASH: GO! MASTERBALL!
PIKACHU: I like ducks.

 

[bwburke94]

Brock: By the way, I'm gay.

Ash: so i herd u liek pikachu

Meowth: That's wrong!

 

[Trick Tester]

Ash: Red?
Red: Ash?
Ash: Red?
Red: Ash?
Ash: Red?
Red: Ash?
Blue *Ignored...*

 

[darkpokeball]

Ash: Pikachu! Team Rocket is behind you!
Pikachu: Pika?
Ash: NO! THEY'VE CAPTURED PIKACHU IN A MASTERBALL!!
James: Mwa ha ha ha! Ash, we have enslaved your pokemon!
Ash: I don't think so! GO! ASH! *awkwardly throws an empty pokeball, then runs in front of it and jumps into the air saying 'BOOSH!'*
James: Seriously? I mean...seriously?
Ash: Asha ash!
James: Well, go Pikachu!
Pikachu: *evil voice* PIKA! PIKA!
Ash: Ash, use punch Pika in gut! Asha ash! *punches Pikachu in the gut, sending him flying* Good work, Ash! Now, follow up with ultraball! *throws an ultraball* Pikachu has been caught!
James: That's just not fair...
Ash: I got my Pikachu back! Suck it!
James: Jessie, he's being mean!
Jessie: *pulls out machine gun*
Ash: Pikachu, we should run!
*Jessie shoots James*
Jessie: Sorry, I'm a bit new at this...
James: Those things exist in the pokemoun universe?
Jessie: Yep, I hacked into the game and got one! Right, James? James! James!! NOO!!!
Brock: Well this is awkward...

 

[Ninetales1]

Brock: Sorry, I'm taken.

Misty: I don't think I could eat another bite...

Team Rocket's Meowth: Meowth. Meow meow meowth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now to touch on some of the more minor characters in the anime (many are gym leaders, so they might be familiar anyway). I know I'm doing a bit of Brock bashing here, but... I couldn't resist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lt. Surge: (to a girl) Hey there, baby.

Erika: This stinks!

Sabrina (the little girl): (to Jigglypuff) Be my friend! Play with me! *bounces Jigglypuff around*

Sabrina (the actual gym leader): I know what you are thinking about me, Brock.

Giovanni: (to Jessie and James) Excellent. You have done well.

Cassidy or Butch (to Jessie and James): So how come you two get the white uniforms?

Bill: (through Pokedex, when Ash tries to catch a Pokemon) I'm sorry, but your box is full.

Magikarp Salesperson: This Magikarp--give it time and it will grow to be powerful!

Prima (Lorelei): Most of the time, I am like water. During a battle, I am like ice. When I am around Brock, I am like steam.

Eusine: (to his Misdreavus) You're supposed to pull Brock's ear, not his hair!

Fantina: Hola, ¿como estas?

 

[darkpokeball]

K, let's go!

Ash: I'm a mexican!!
*everyone points guns at him*
Ash: Well, that's not fair.
*
Misty: STARYU! HE'S DYING! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!
Ash: I'm putting him under with a sedative....
Staryu*thoughts*: How come you look all different all of a sudden?
Ash: Misty, what are his vitals?!
Misty: They're....OVER 9000!!
Ash: Over 9000? BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I'll have to upgrade to...SUPER SURGEON!!*turns Super Saiyan*
Staryu thoughts: Where'd his shirt go?
Misty: I'll prep this surgery by playing the card...DARK PHYSICIAN! He has 3000 healing points and is a medical type monster!
Brock*comes from nowhere*: NOT SO FAST, MISTY! I already played the card, Mal Practice-Suit destroying your Dark Physician!
Misty: BROCK? What are you doing?! We have to work together!!
Brock: No, I'll defeat you and cure this patient myself!
Misty: OH NO! He's up to 10000! We're losing him!
Ash: We need to shock him! GO PIKACHU!!
Pikachu: PIKA-CHU!!
Staryu thoughts: Don't they know water conducts electricity? And I am a water type pokemon...who did just go for a swim....meep.
Misty: OH NO! HE HAS THE VITAL PIECE OF THE ESTHER CRYSTAL STUCK IN HIS CHEST!
Brock: Of course! That explains the poisoning of his soul!
*fried* Staryu thoughts: Or maybe it's just I'm ticked off at you for shocking me! GRR!
Ash: There's only one thing that can dislodge an esther crystal! SUPER-BIONIC-SURGEON!
*Ash, Brock, and Misty all merge into one giant robot*
Giant Robot: LIGHT BEAM!
Staryu thoughts: HOLY---
*
Meowth: Jesse, James! I gots rabies!
*
Ash: How old am I in real life?
*
Jesse: James, don't you think that the Brock twerp is just a little cute?
James: No.
Jesse: But---
James: I THINK HE'S SEXY AND HANDSOME AND I WANNA MARRY HIM!!
*
Jesse: Ash, I challenge you to a pokemon duel!
Ash: You can't. I have no pokemon.
Jesse: What about your Pikachu?
Ash*hiding pokeballs behind his back*: I have no idea what you're talking about...

 

[Dark: Random Guy]

Ash: Falcon PAWNCH!!!

Entei: ARGDHFGBH!

May: I'm only in this show for blatant advertisement for the games. YAY ME!!!

Mew: Rhydon! What does the scouter say about his power level!?
Rhydon: It's over 9000!!!!!
Mewtwo: ....*sigh*

 

[DNZGames]

Ash: I think I might be a homosexual...

Pikachu: Hey Ash!

Nurse Joy: I'm sorry. We're shut for the night. Your Pokemon must suffer til morning.