To deal with a disability or any major issue do you need a sense of humour?

[Adrasteia]

Hiya, I'm Jaz, I'm now 20 but iv been disabled since I was diagnosed at the age of 12 with Lupus, Rhumatoid arthritis (Arthritis of all joints), New persistent daily headach syndrome < long name I know and you should see the names of the medications :), and a few more.

If anyone's offended by this don't worry I'm a cripple I can say it, and for the purposes of the post I extend that offer to you as well.

Some people get outraged on others behalf when someone makes a joke about disability and it's just not necessary.
Personally I find a person who is suffering and chooses to find the humour in that situation much more inspirational that a person who works through there disability but can't laugh about it. This may be seen as an inflamitory subject to some people who believe a persons suffering shouldn't be made the subject of a joke but I say have at it, in fact if you have a funny joke about disability send it to me or post it here, I find them hilarious.

One of my favourite things to do when I'm out in my wheelchair and my dad or sister is wheeling me around is to shout in the middle of a shop 'Hey don't hit cripples' and watch them try to smile at strangers giving them dirty looks.
Or if they leave me to go look at something in a shop I'll shout 'iv been abandoned' and people smile and laugh because they know I'm joking and it's funny :)

Also death, it can be funny, my dad has spent the last 20 years trying to pick the funniest song to have on at his funeral, he changes it every few months but the thought of it always gives us a good laugh, he also wants a frame like in Harry Potter where it's him in a picture walking about making the occasional generic comment I'm planning it to be a digital frame in the house that will show a looped video with a variety of his top 20 annoying things he says daily. And that's funny, he recently went to a friends funeral where he wasn't allowed to wear black, so he went in a tacky Hawian shirt and they all had a good laugh about how silly they all looked.

So I gusse what I'm asking do you agree that a sense of humour is an import thing to have when dealing with possibly devistating situations.

I'd love to hear your opinions, argument or your Jokes :)

 

[Universe]

gonna stick this in Roundtable because this question's too good for us.

 

[£]

This is definitely one of the best threads I've read in General Chat, I have to say!

I think you have a wonderful admirable attitude about things and I wish more people could take a leaf from your book with regards to whatever may trouble them in their lives. (I know I should.) I imagine it's a massive asset for you in what you have to deal with.

I think the world's a tricky place at the moment, people can't seem to get things right with the likes of disability/sexuality/race without sometimes either being overbearing and thus alienating people, or by being completely insensitive. I hope people get better at it with time.

One thing that's always the same with people no matter what is that everyone has lines that you don't really cross with them without some kind of reaction and it's different from person to person. I try to be as easygoing as possible but there's days I get a bit mardy and bite back at most people about even little things, haha.

 

[Rogue planet]

The only problem is that not everyone has the same sense of humour. When it comes to such dividing topics, it's better to just keep those sort of jokes to private situations. Eventually someone around you who is disabled will overhear a joke and they won't be happy about it.

If certain kinds of jokes or comments are offensive to a large number of people, who frequently make it clear that they don't appreciate it, then they shouldn't really have to hear such things said in public.

 

[Adrasteia]

This is definitely one of the best threads I've read in General Chat, I have to say!

I think you have a wonderful admirable attitude about things and I wish more people could take a leaf from your book with regards to whatever may trouble them in their lives. (I know I should.) I imagine it's a massive asset for you in what you have to deal with.

I think the world's a tricky place at the moment, people can't seem to get things right with the likes of disability/sexuality/race without sometimes either being overbearing and thus alienating people, or by being completely insensitive. I hope people get better at it with time.

One thing that's always the same with people no matter what is that everyone has lines that you don't really cross with them without some kind of reaction and it's different from person to person. I try to be as easygoing as possible but there's days I get a bit mardy and bite back at most people about even little things, haha.

Firstly thank you, I think people have trouble discussing topics and sharing opinions that they feel may possibly reflect badly on them. I don't think people should feel they'll be judged for there opinion.

People say laughter is the best medicine and despite the fact I hate that saying I started feeling better when I started seeing the funny side :)

 

[Adrasteia]

The only problem is that not everyone has the same sense of humour. When it comes to such dividing topics, it's better to just keep those sort of jokes to private situations. Eventually someone around you who is disabled will overhear a joke and they won't be happy about it.

If certain kinds of jokes or comments are offensive to a large number of people, who frequently make it clear that they don't appreciate it, then they shouldn't really have to hear such things said in public.

I gusse it makes sense to keep in private especially if you don't know who's around but I gusse I'm asking your personal opinion if you were having a night in with some friends and someone made a joke about a disability would you laugh or be offended?

 

[Adrasteia]

Aah. This is a good topic. I wish I had a super long post to reply with but all I can say is that I think making the best out of a bad situation is great. Easily one of the most admirable traits in a person. I need to follow that advice more myself. This topic certainly gives me the motivation to.

I think it's a topic that people need to be less scared of discussing, like, sex, homosexuality, and racism it's a topic that's facinating to talk about with people with the same view or people with radically different views, if we don't discuss them then how are people going to learn other view points. There are some very ignorant people in the world and in some cases I think it would have made them and the world a better place if someone had sat down with them and had an open discussion with them about the lifestyles they so adamantly condem as being immoral or worth less than another persons life style.

As a side note I wish Homophobia was literally a crippling fear of homosexuals then someone with an issue with LGBT people would just run away instead of making and arse of themselves (just one thought that makes me giggle)

 

[Esper]

But how is a person to know when it's okay to laugh at someone's expense unless that person invites them to do so? And, like, if it's a stranger that can make it a little extra weird on top of things.

 

[Adrasteia]

But how is a person to know when it's okay to laugh at someone's expense unless that person invites them to do so? And, like, if it's a stranger that can make it a little extra weird on top of things.

I gusse this is the point I was trying to make, if everyone was okey with it and understood it was all a bit of fun nobody would self censor their language incase they offend someone. I know it's unrealistic but imagine how much more free you would feel if you were never worried about saying the wrong thing. In my family if someone came out with big news they would expect jokes regularly, it's how we express effection. My uncle came out as gay and we all made jokes and he felt much calmer, if we'd said nothing he'd know we had a problem with it.

 

[gimmepie]

I think that we all tread on egg shells too much in our society, yes we should be mindful of what we say to a degree but we definitely shouldn't completely censor ourselves either.

There's nothing wrong with making a joke about a stereotype or a disability. I joke about my disability all the time and so do my family and friends. People I know will go out of their way to arrange things in nonsensical orders just to have a laugh with me when I have to rearrange it.

The trick is knowing where the line is. Pay attention to peoples' reactions, stop and apologise if you're making them uncomfortable. But if you're talking to a person in a wheelchair and they make a joke about rolling down an escalator, it's probably okay to go along with it.

I suppose the main thing is to make sure you know it is okay first. If you know the person's sense of humour or they're inviting the jokes, then go for it. Just don't walk up to a random black man and warn him that there are cops around.

 

[Kanzler]

I didn't know being black was a disability :P

Back on topic, I think a sense of humour helps one deal with anything, period. I take it to be a sign of open-mindedness, and therefore the ability to seriously consider things outside the box. It could be empowering for an otherwise stigmatized or self-pitying experience and implies that the person is at peace with society. That being said, I don't know how useful or possible it would be for a person with a disability without a sense of humour to "develop" one - actually it depends. Some people are die-hard opposed to laughing at anything and will likely stay that way, but a disability could be an opportunity to develop a sense of humour.

 

[gimmepie]

I didn't know being black was a disability :P

Back on topic, I think a sense of humour helps one deal with anything, period. I take it to be a sign of open-mindedness, and therefore the ability to seriously consider things outside the box. It could be empowering for an otherwise stigmatized or self-pitying experience and implies that the person is at peace with society. That being said, I don't know how useful or possible it would be for a person with a disability without a sense of humour to "develop" one - actually it depends. Some people are die-hard opposed to laughing at anything and will likely stay that way, but a disability could be an opportunity to develop a sense of humour.

Oh God hahaha I didn't even think of that when I posted, I was just talking about "inappropriate" or "inconsiderate" humour in general.

Welcome to gimmepie's how to look racist in five seconds.

 

[Her]

I think it's just a simple matter of being conscious of your surroundings. How a person deals with an issue/situation is ultimately up to the person themselves and if it doesn't harm those around them, I don't think it should be called into question. If you're not the person with the issue/situation, be respectful and just be aware of your place before you say anything. If your friend is okay with you joking around about them having, idk, autism then so be it. If they're cool with it, then that's what works for you two. But remarks you make to your friend are likely to not go over so well in the wider community, so knowing your audience and playing it safe is just the easiest course of action imo.

 

[Adrasteia]

I think that we all tread on egg shells too much in our society, yes we should be mindful of what we say to a degree but we definitely shouldn't completely censor ourselves either.

There's nothing wrong with making a joke about a stereotype or a disability. I joke about my disability all the time and so do my family and friends. People I know will go out of their way to arrange things in nonsensical orders just to have a laugh with me when I have to rearrange it.

The trick is knowing where the line is. Pay attention to peoples' reactions, stop and apologise if you're making them uncomfortable. But if you're talking to a person in a wheelchair and they make a joke about rolling down an escalator, it's probably okay to go along with it.

I suppose the main thing is to make sure you know it is okay first. If you know the person's sense of humour or they're inviting the jokes, then go for it. Just don't walk up to a random black man and warn him that there are cops around.

It's good for someone with a disability to have a sense of humour about it, it makes people less worried that there going to offend them. Obviously if some one came up to me and started shouting abuse about my disability I'd be rather annoyed, luckily I can stand up for about a minute befor it gets unbearable, just enough time shout 'it's a miracle' and kick someone in the pokeballs, or punch them in the Nosepass < hehe Pokemon puns.
Also from what iv heard about America warning a black man about the police may be a genuine warning.

 

[Adrasteia]

Just going to post this excellent example:

See that's what I mean, someone who can laugh at there own issues or imperfection is an inspirational thing, and nobody can not smile when they see how he's dealing with everything with a smile.

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

I'm autistic with horribly severe anxiety, ADHD, Dyspraxia and learning/developmental delays. I still live with my parents, despite being 26 because I can't care for myself in some ways. I still try to find the beauty and humor in things. However, I don't like when people find humor in making fun of others, especially those who are less fortunate or are trying to bring awareness to a situation.

My dad also has a lot of problems as well, but he still manages to find humor. He picks on me and my mom, and he is also quite funny. I love my dad because there are times when he can turn a bad situation into something more humorous.

The thing with me though is that I have a hard time understanding most jokes and sarcasm at times. So, it's usually hard for me to be too humorous about things. I still do my best to be funny and act funny as much as I can. I do think in a situation the disability/illness is dragging you down that it's good to have a laugh to bring you back into spirits again. ^^

 

[Adrasteia]

I'm autistic with horribly severe anxiety, ADHD, Dyspraxia and learning/developmental delays. I still live with my parents, despite being 26 because I can't care for myself in some ways. I still try to find the beauty and humor in things. However, I don't like when people find humor in making fun of others, especially those who are less fortunate or are trying to bring awareness to a situation.

My dad also has a lot of problems as well, but he still manages to find humor. He picks on me and my mom, and he is also quite funny. I love my dad because there are times when he can turn a bad situation into something more humorous.

The thing with me though is that I have a hard time understanding most jokes and sarcasm at times. So, it's usually hard for me to be too humorous about things. I still do my best to be funny and act funny as much as I can. I do think in a situation the disability/illness is dragging you down that it's good to have a laugh to bring you back into spirits again. ^^

I dislike when people openly mock others for something they can't control, but I feel when your laughing with someone instead of at them it can make people more comfortable. When people talk to me in my wheelchair I find that wether there aware of it or not they're sometimes slightly patronising, and try to crouch a little to get down to my level, as if just because my body doesn't work properly I must not understand what there saying. But when I make a joke about it they tend to be a tad shocked at first then they straighten up and talk to me like the adult I am.
It's funny to what's people faces as they process the fact iv just called myself a cripple, and wether they should laugh, tell me off for being incentive and then realise I'm being insensitive about myself, it crosses there face in a split second but it's still fun :)

 

[Adrasteia]

Hey, Jaz. I don't have anything particularly very interesting to add, but when I read this thread, it got me thinking a lot about things. Like, this thread was super inspirational, and to a degree, it actually changed my perspective on things. As someone who's pretty much a huge cynic when it comes to life itself, looking at your issues and obstacles and laughing at them in the face is something I think a lot of people (including myself) overlook at times, and sometimes your disabilities or pain become so great that people just...don't really think about laughing, because all they're thinking about is the downsides of what they have, if that makes any sense.

I honestly believe you've opened quite a few eyes, here. They do say laughter is the best medicine for the soul, but I never realized how applicable this could be even in the most arduous of situations.

I'm glad this seems to have struck a cord with a few people. When your in a difficult situation things can seem impossible but when you step back and look over things you can see how silly you were when you though you were in an impossible situation. I'm a rather cynical person too but I choose to laugh at the ridiculousness of the world we live in rather than despair at the situation humanity has created. Its kind of backward but it'll make you happier in the long run :)

 

[twocows]

I'm sure it's a helpful thing to have a sense of humor. I think the core of it is being able to laugh about your condition and not let it own you and drag you down, but I'm not in that position, so I can't really say. I do hear you on people getting offended for other people; I think that's really obnoxious, personally.

I think the most important thing for me would be a sense of perspective, to realize that it's not the end of the world and I can still be the kind of person I want to be and live a wholly fulfilling life despite my limitations. Part of what makes humanity so great is our ability to rise up and triumph over adversity. If anything, the more we have to struggle to get to where we want to be, the stronger and more interesting we end up being as a result. Look at, say, Stephen Hawking, a man who significantly advanced the cause of science despite major physical disabilities. He's accomplished with his life than your average "normal" person ever will. As another example, look at Helen Keller who went on to graduate from college and become an author and political activist despite being born in an age where having her disabilities usually meant a life in an asylum. And sure, those are exceptional cases, but the point is that there's so much more to people than the things holding us back; defining anyone (even yourself) by their constraints is just asinine. Having a disability is a limitation, nothing more. These kinds of limitations are frustrating and unfair to be sure, but part of why people are so great is that we can overcome even the most severe limitations and go on to do great things in the face of significant adversity. There's no reason such things need to hold us back to any meaningful degree; we're better than that.

This is probably something that's somewhat obvious to anyone who has carried such a weight for a while, but I don't think it's something I would have realized in such a situation until I had gone through a great deal of grief and reflection, so I figured I should say it.