Top 10 List #14: Best Quotes from Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

For those who don't know, Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal is a bootleg version of Crystal. Supposedly, it is an English translation of a Chinese translation of the original Japanese game which was sold in Vietnam (hence the name.) The translation job is HORRIBLE. NPC trainer names are an odd mix of letters, numbers, and symbols; everything is in all caps; the names of the Pokemon are wrong; several items and Pokemon share the same name; the game drops the F-bomb every time you collect an item; and a lot of the dialogue makes no sense. But that's what makes this game so epic. A mediocre Pokemon game is transformed into the most hilarious game I've ever seen, and it's due in large part to the fact that everyone speaks gibberish.

For the very best of that nonsensical gibberish, see below...

1. I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN. IN SPITE OF THE MONSTER, AND THE COACH, ONLY TRASHY, I WILL BEAT DOWN THEM ALL. FOR THIS I MUST STRENGTHEN MYSELF. THE MONSTER IS THE SAME TOO. COLLECT ALL THE TRASHY, RIGHTEOUS FELLOW ALL ARE UNPARDONABLE! YOU DON'T AFFECT ME. THE TRASHY STROLLING IS AN EYESORE! - Silver

Most. Epic. Rant. Ever. I must say, I do understand his disgust with trashy men.

2. I AM A MONSTER


COACH, THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD. - Silver

So that would make Silver... Adam? Who happens to be one hell of a monster



coach.

3. WE WILL NOT DESTROY THE TOWER EVEN IF WE ARE CRAZY. - NPC

That is one hell of a solidly built tower.

4. YOU HAD GAINED MONATERS FROM GRADUATE SCHOOL - Silver

I spent three years in graduate school, stresses out over finals, racked up thousands in student loans, and all I got was this lousy monater.

5. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF MEN IN THE WORLD, SAVVY AND NOSAVVY WHAT KIND OF YOU? - NPC

I try to be savvy, but I think my lifestyle tends toward the nosavvy end of the spectrum.

6. YOU MUST STAND TO DEFEAT THE GUY. AND I DON'T LIKE THE ACTOR'S LINES! - Silver

I dunno, his lines don't make much sense, but they sure are funny.

7. THE TOWER IS BUILT FOR POCKET MONSTERS TO PRACTISE BUDDHISM - NPC

So, THAT's why all those Christians have major issues with Pokemon...

8. WEI! YOU CAN'T THROW THE BUTT CASUALLY - NPC
Um... Ohhhhhhkaaaayyyy...

9. IN THE SIDE IF THE SEA THERE IS A GOOD DRUGSHOP. BUT I DON'T LEAVE XIAODENG. AH I HAVE A REQUEST. DON'T YOU TAKE THE DRUG FOR ME? - Jasmine

Jasmine has some illegal substances that she needs transported across state lines. Do you accept her mission?

10. THEY WERE FLUTTERING IN THE SKY, MAKING THE SKY MAGNIFICENT. I LET THE WORLDLY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR GRANDNESS! - Falkner

For a game with such awful translating work, this sounds surprisingly poetic.

 

[gimmepie]

I can never unsee Jasmine as a drug dealer. lmao

 

[Gardevoir the Dragon Slayer]

xD, I love the dodgy translations in this game

 

[Archy]

IN THE SIDE IF THE SEA THERE IS A GOOD DRUGSHOP. BUT I DON'T LEAVE XIAODENG. AH I HAVE A REQUEST. DON'T YOU TAKE THE DRUG FOR ME?

Jasmine is the Tony Montana of the Pokemon world. Confirmed.

 

[Palamon]

I stopped playing this because I died laughing before getting to the first gym. :(

 

[moon]

Haha pure gold, they should sell this as a real thing, I'd pay <3