[Other FULL] Vale Institute of Magic (M) (OOC/SU)

[Songbird]

This is the vague thing again. It would help a lot if you would tell us what it is you do or don't agree with. xD

 

[Impossiperiod]

Bump to show that I've done some changes. I can delete this too to prevent clutter and spammage.

 

[Songbird]

It's no problem to leave the posts up. It's not like they're off-topic. :3

 

[Colony]

@Impossiperiod: It's better, but the history still needs work. Don't worry about compacting the SU. A long, detailed SU is better than a short one that is missing information key to understanding the character. Cadenza is also a bit too broad (what defines mental power?). The line involving "calculated' chaotic" environments still exists, which is still a massive contradiction (are you a starburst candy?).

 

[Impossiperiod]

@Colony -- I can work on the history some more, I still think it needs work too but time constraints and studying and all. Also, the whole misconception with calculated chaos: it is simply a paradox, a completely illogical and purposefully contradictory play of words for the sake of entertainment. It simply means chaos. She can't handle chaos and when she's in it she is anxious and finds it harder to concentrate on weaving spells as opposed to a calm dueling setting. Also, I find "mental power" to be pretty self explanatory. Well, she isn't a genius but if she is mentally exhausted from a fight she won't be able to decimate an entire room with her finale move, she'll only be able to produce enough to protect herself for a moment or blast away an enemy just to save herself or an ally. I don't think it's hard to understand, though. Mental power would be described in a post if she ever uses the ability and will be built up to show if she is tired or not before the use of Cadenza. Her mental power (concentration and focus on the spell) will be explained both before and during the use of the ability before she ultimately blacks out from it if she is weakened enough mentally before hand.

 

[Songbird]

"Calculated chaos" isn't paradoxical. A paradox sounds impossible, but can still be possible. The way you explain it, it's an oxymoron that's there without a good reason.

Also, "mental power" can't exactly be self-explanatory (magic in general fails to explain itself), but from your description you should just be calling it energy. Calling it "mental power" sounds conceited (which is a problem we faced with Mimi and how he worded everything in his sheet) and completely removes any potential for physical consequences (which Colony and I forgot to touch on in our original response). Many of the accepted characters are capable of killing themselves outright for slipping up, and the absolute worst that happens to Yukio from using magic is that she just passes out.

We didn't completely bring this to light either (but it seems appropriate to at least do so now since you have to expand on her anyways), given how you describe her in both the personality and history, Yukio would be utterly useless in an actual fight due to anxiety (because if a mage battle isn't hectic and chaotic in some form, then it's not much of a battle), and there's no development described whatsoever that tries to improve on this.

Lastly, yes, being concise is generally a good thing—I can understand where you're coming from with it in being straight-to-the-point—but don't sacrifice very necessary information and development just to save space.

 

[Impossiperiod]

@Songbird and Colony -- I will completely revise, revisit, and review all of Yukio's SU and change accordingly. If I haven't been eliminated as a potential candidate for the last air spot I can be expected to repost (after deleting the other SU) come tomorrow evening.

Thanks for the time,
-- Impossiperiod

 

[Songbird]

Don't worry; as long as you're willing to keep pushing for it, you won't be eliminated. :3

 

[Impossiperiod]

Normally I wouldn't try this hard for forum based RP but you can't get good at making a character without some trial and error. Also, I hope that last comment didn't come off as snarky, I didn't mean it that way. Just overly motivated to make this character and participate in this thread as it has many good RPers in it, better than some from other sites that I have visited.

 

[Colony]

Don't worry, nothing came off snarky. We're glad that you're so interested. Just take your time and I'm sure it'll be good.

Edit: edited in a Zane post into my previous post. His dark side is rearing its ugly head right now.

 

[Master_Bait]

@Colony: i am. i was just checking, is all. hehe

Spoiler:

about my SU, its supposed to be finished, but my phone was reset because something went wrong with it. so, all my data disappeared with the blink of an eye. i havent heard of back-ups yet. i have to rewrite my SU again, from scratch.

 

[ChaosCrystal]

Funny, i don't know if i actually like Zane's character, or just want to put a fork on his eye =P

 

[Colony]

I really like writing for Zane. It's different and so much more creative than many of the characters I've created. Who cares if he isn't likable to readers? He's still entertaining, and that's what matters most. ;)

 

[Impossiperiod]

Okay, I've done the history. It consists of nine paragraphs of full first-person perspective. A monologue of Yukio giving her life story up to the point of determine to attend Vale for her schooling. It sounds right to me right now and I think I've tied up loose ends.

You guys did say the personality was alright? I've done some editing of that too just enough to introduce the fact that she plays the violin. I should be able to post by this evening. Thanks.

 

[Colony]

We didn't completely bring this to light either (but it seems appropriate to at least do so now since you have to expand on her anyways), given how you describe her in both the personality and history, Yukio would be utterly useless in an actual fight due to anxiety (because if a mage battle isn't hectic and chaotic in some form, then it's not much of a battle), and there's no development described whatsoever that tries to improve on this.

@Impossiperiod: That's really the only thing that needs to be touched on in the personality, mostly because of how it affects Yukio's abilities in practicality. Cadenza still needs to be reworked too. It comes off as a really high level spell, but many of these spells have dangerous repercussions. For example, Zane can suffer internal hemorrhaging if he overuses Vector Shift and Indigo can suffer (what seems to be) third-degree burns if he overuses his Concentrated Flame spell. I could find several more examples, but I'm sure that you get my point. High level spells tend to backfire harder than just passing out. Can't wait to see the monologue and the finished rewrite, though.

 

[Songbird]

Okay, aside from what Colony pointed out, we're both glad you're not skimping on the detail this time, but I'm wondering: why does it have to be in first person?

Also, Zane's going to get a lot of injuries anyways, CC, so put the fork away before you hurt yourself, please. :3

 

[Impossiperiod]

CS OF YUKIO HIGASHI BELOW IN THE SPOILER

Spoiler:

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Yukio Higashi (Yuki)
(15)
♀
​

Element: Air


Spells:

• Arpeggio
  • Yukio summons a single gust of directional air whose powers varies on how much energy Yukio had put into it. Its range varies from the energy output but usually graces around a mid-range spell to allow Yukio a rangeful defense against retaliation. The blasts of air are quick, but visible and thus can be easy to dodge at longer ranges but when hit the target experiences a push against them, potentially disrupting movement or slowing a target in their advances.

As Yukio's bread and butter attack spell this spell causes few hamperings to her person so that it is allowed to be used in prolonged fights and extended duels frequently.

​

• Bariolage
  • Yukio calls upon the air around her to form an opaque barrier around her, strong enough to deflect most spells or projectiles. The barrier can be put around others, or used to block off an area like the entrance to a door or small corridor of a hallway. Yukio can use this ability to defend herself but is handicapped from using other spells as long as this spell is kept up. The spell constantly uses Yukio's energy as long as it up.

• Cadenza
  • Yukio calls forth a tornadic displayal of power causing the wind to sweep in a controlled area around her (an area that is determined by how much energy she can put forth during the channeling of the spell). The tornado, if powered enough, can prevent and deflect outside projectiles and elements dependent on the elemental or projectile make up and power behind it. Yukio is handicapped during this spell and must stand still to channel it.

This ability heavily exerts Yukio's body as the air around her is pushed into a tornado, with her at the center. It creates a suction that robs Yukio of the ability to breathe, and often drags nearby objects into it, so while it's rather powerful, Cadenza can't last long. Some objects, such as shards of glass, tend to make their way into the eye (where Yukio resides) and leave cuts of varying size and depth across her body.
​

Appearance

​

​

Personality:
Yukio Higashi is one to seek understanding, knowledge on all grounds but, most importantly, in her element. She has seen many people disregard the chance to do more with their lives, to seek out more and to achieve much more with what they have acquired. With this disposition she has become a calm-thoughtful soul, always tickled by the curiosity that has driven so many.
Yukio is an optimist, always thinking good will come. With this she has become an industrious person, always busy in extracurriculars and hobbies – nothing will happen if you do nothing! With Yukio's activeness in hobbies comes her activeness in mystery. She is the one that, although cautiously, will follow a gut tickling within that vaguely promises her reward for following curiosity's call.

Yukio has the habit of humming randomly when things aren't particularly interesting, it usually happens during long lectures where she'll hum a song she heard recently or the many pop songs that she can't seem to ever get out of her head. With this songs comes actually singing, though she'll never show anyone her small, high, but pleasant, voice.

She is also a violinist and a perfectionist because of it. To play the violin one must hit the chords, the notes, and change accordingly to a song's tempo. Being a perfectionist comes with a determination and a drive for completion. Yukio often puts this forth in her training and will continually train to control and master her element though she knows that there will always be new things to learn.

History:
Yukio Higashi was born in Tokyo, Japan, the capital of the Japanese country. There she was born into a family of aeromancers. Her mother was an aeromancer like Yukio's grandmother before her and Yukio's great-grandmother before her. She inherited the power from birth, like all girls from her grandmother's side.

As a toddler she had shown great potential as an aeromancer under her grandmother's mentoring. Grandmother, Kasuga Uehara, was a promising aeromancer at sixteen. Kasuga-shishou began teaching Yukio the dangerous craft of aeromancy at age five. Through patient training sessions Yukio learned how to control the air around her and simply prevent it from leaving her area of control. Through this she learned to be calm and calculated, patient and full of understanding. Kasuga-shishou continued Yukio's training into her pre-teens while she took home schooled courses taught by her father, a professor.

Yukio's mother, Sachiko Higashi – formerly Sachiko Uehara – went through the same curriculum that Yukio did when she was learning to control her power too. Sachiko, though not as powerful as grandmother, was a promising student nonetheless and cherished her ability to move the air and move with it in turn. Yukio's mother, as a hobby, attended a meditation class where she learned further control to wield her power. Yukio's entire immediate family participated into sculpting who she is today. Her father, Tadamasa Higashi, taught her academics; Her mother, Sachiko Higashi, taught her meditation, the way of the mind at home; and her grandmother, Kasuga Uehara, taught her the history, techniques, and aeromancy.

Yukio never attended public school and didn't see much of her mother's side of the family except for her grandmother. According to her grandmother the family was fractured by Yukio's aunt who wanted to live a more normal life compared to her sister's (Yukio's mother's) embracing of the family "curse" as Yukio's aunt had called it. Holidays were always spent at her paternal grandmother's house with her cousins and uncles, as her father was the middle child of three boys. Yukio's father's family didn't possess any powers, they were all "unnaturally normal" as Kasuga-shishou often, jokingly, put it. Her life was good, her family was great, and school was progressing well. Her powers were well in-check and she often sparred with her mother using their aeromancy. During this time in her life her studies were freeing up more and more as she passing all her father suggested classes. She got more time off so she took to learning the violin and began exposing herself to pop music. Yukio took a love for singing (when alone) and writing her own music for the violin.

She received her letter from Vale Institute on her fifteenth birthday. It was just like any other day, she hadn't had any friends over, she didn't even have a party. Her mother baked a cake and her father took off work. She had just began helping her grandmother with that evening's dinner when her mother came into the kitchen with a look of shock on her face. At first Yukio was scared until her mother moved the hand that was covering her mouth to show a smile. She started laughing crazily. Yukio's father took to Sachiko, thinking she was ill but was quickly shoved off. She ran to Yukio and hugged her tight. She told Yukio that she had received the letter but Yukio didn't even know what to think of it. Heck, Yukio didn't even know what the Vale Institute was until her mother told her. Once Yukio understood her mother began going on about packing for the coming school year when Summer fled way for Autumn.

The school year was fast approaching and the control that Yukio had built over her powers over the last ten years began to slip away from her. Her usually calm demeanor easily shattered when pressured to begin packing by her mother. Yukio became anxious and stopped engaging in activity all together. She got flustered whenever her mother or father mentioned packing or Vale. She didn't want to go to Vale, she didn't want to leave her family. This bomb just dropped on her, seemingly ripping her from her family in a matter of months and the days were counting down, quickly.

Yukio packed with the aid of her grandmother and with a heavy heart. She distanced herself from her mother and father, even slept in her grandmother's room from time to time. Her grandmother coaxed her slowly into training again until the leaves changed color. Yukio's grandmother healed Yukio back into her normal self as they shared the same calmness. Yukio became curious again, and determined. She picked up her violin and the sweet sounds of serenity could be heard out her window as the days shortened.

Yukio realized that her grandmother's teachings were limited and that she had already learned much of the woman had to give. It was time to move on, time to learn more and explore the world. She was fifteen now and was capable of making friends. She wanted to see the sights, meet people, and learn more about the other elements that grandmother had hinted on and Yukio Higashi would find those at the Vale Institute of Magic.


Code: Yukio smiled brightly. "Challenge me!" she chimed.


Other: Yukio shakes her head. "You don't mind if I bring my violin do you?" (Yukio often carries her violin with her and can be seen with its case strapped around her person, on her hip or back.) (She also tends to use Japanese honorifics by habit, growing up there and all.)

 

[Colony]

Impossiperiod you are officially Accepted.

@Master_Bait: Continue to work on your SU. Something tells me that there'll be another open spot within a few hours.

 

[«Chuckles»]

@Colony, I am unsure whether to leave this RP or not. I have no real idea where to continue since I was under the impression that I was going to battle. Can you point me in the direction of something todo and have the lessons started?

 

[Nate]

Chuckles we are all just waiting for colony to make the ic announcement.... He told us to be patient but its so hard!