What is cheating?

Rogue planet

Rogue planet

 
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    What do you consider cheating?

    If someone is in a relationship and kisses another person, is that cheating? Or do they have to have sex for it to be considered cheating?
     
    Cheating is when they make consistent romantic contact. On any regular basis. One kiss isn't going to pass muster as cheating, sometimes circumstances make it just as useful for expressing gratitude as any other form of communication is. It has to be repeated, and amorous in nature. Of course the exception is sex, if you're in a relationship with another person then it's reasonably expected that you won't go have sex with anyone else...even if you haven't had sex with them yet, and especially if you HAVE had sex with them before.

    Cheating is when they begin dating someone else without breaking it off with you. I don't care if they hate awkward moments, don't want you to be angry or whatever, they deserve that much if they really care about you at all and want to keep you around as a friend at least. It's also rude and disrespectful to the person they just started dating.

    People should have the decency to at least only pursue one at a time. If you've made it past the second or third date, then they deserve to know if you're no longer interested in them.
     
    Cheating is when your partner voluntarily gets involved with another person romantically, the way I see it. So yeah, even a kiss I see as cheating, as long as both people wanted it. However, a kiss can be forgiven more easily than say if your partner had sex with another person behind your back. ...I don't think I'm making much sense, and I probably sound like I have snobby standards.
     
    When you get romantically(or sexually) involved with someone other than your partner. One kiss... that honestly isn't much. I know plenty of people who kiss their friends. No make out sessions or anything(usually...) and it is rarely on the lips. I wouldn't care if my s/o kissed someone else on the cheek. Lips would be too far, imo. It honestly depends on who you ask.
     
    Kissing somebody else while you're in a relationship is most definitely cheating. You're supposed to be in love with someone else - if you're going around kissing other people then you obviously don't care about the person you're going out with enough to be exclusively with them. If you like somebody else, for god's sake just break up with the one you're with and don't put them through that pain.

    (If it's an open relationship or something or your partner is okay with you kissing other people for whatever reason, I have no problem with people kissing/having sex with others as in that case it's not cheating. It's when you do it behind your partner's back that it's wrong.)
     
    To me, cheating is when your partner gets into a (sexual) relationship without you even knowing about it until several weeks/months later.

    Also, if someone is in a relationship and kisses someone else, I don't think that's cheating unless they did it in a romantic way.
     
    For me, it depends on the standards of that relationship that's set up. If someone and their partner agree that they are free to kiss other people, then it would not be considered cheating.

    Personally, in my own relationship, I do consider kissing to be cheating. For me, kissing means more than just "fun mouth to mouth" and is something done to show someone that you love them, you have passion for them, and that you're interested in them both romantically and sexually. For me a kiss is personal, and if my partner knows this and decides to kiss someone else then it would be considered cheating because I have set those boundaries and they didn't respect my morals. I wouldn't be able to trust them if I felt that they kissed someone; I'd feel as if they started to lose passion for me. I would obviously let them know my boundaries when the relationship gets serious so they could understand and decide if they want to pursue the relationship more seriously.
    (All in all I agree with Platnumdude that it has to be consensual, and I agree with Eliminator Jr. that if you start to consider breaking it off, then it'd be best to do that than to cheat and hurt someone deeper.)

    Right now I found a guy with the same values; we've been dating for almost 3 years and are very happy; although it is long-distance w esee each other when we can. We have no doubt it will work out well because we respect and understand each other.

    However, I do not frown upon what other people decide to do within their own relationships; I know people who are in open relationships (able to freely have sex outside the partnership) and I don't judge them for it.


    My thoughts. :3
     
    Last edited:
    Sydian said:
    Cheating is when your partner voluntarily gets involved with another person romantically, the way I see it. So yeah, even a kiss I see as cheating, as long as both people wanted it. However, a kiss can be forgiven more easily than say if your partner had sex with another person behind your back. ...I don't think I'm making much sense, and I probably sound like I have snobby standards.
    Click to expand...

    I agree with you 100%, If your partner is doing romantic things with another person that is cheating. Your standards arn't snobby at all, it's what should be expected in a relationship.
     
    I'm not sure where I'd draw the line until I experienced it, but I think now it'd be at kissing. If my hypothetical boyfriend were to kiss another guy, I'd see it as cheating, but anything short of that would not.

    It's the physical affection I think is most commonly associated with cheating. Hand-holding would trip my radar, whereas a hug wouldn't. I don't know, sexual politics and whatnot lol
     
    Sexual contact with another, without their partner's consent.
    If the 'cheater' does have their partner's consent, to gain which I think should be reasonably possible, then all is well.
     
    It depends on what you personally consider cheating, when, and in the terms of current relationship.

    Some, think that, for example, if you get to a second date then you're in a relationship.
    Others, consider that "dating" and still date other at the same time until they decide to "go steady" with someone.

    So, it depends on the terms you've set up.

    If you are actually in a relationship with someone, yes I would consider kissing cheating. You don't just kiss for the hell of it. Romantic involvement with another person, be it physical or emotional, I would consider cheating.
     
    When I get into a relationship, this is one of the questions I ask my partner. Quite frankly, I on a personal level do not have a definition for cheating as I believe that dating should be handled the way we used to in the old days. None of this silly pseudo marriage crud. It was all about getting to know eachother and just hanging out to see if you both were good partners for eachother.

    That being said however, I recognize that this is no longer the norm, and so I have to have this discussion where we discuss potential rules that when broken constitute cheating.

    There are certain levels of smut in a relationship that do not need to be forbidden as they are already a bad thing to do that would get someone dumped without any additional rules. (Such as sleeping with everyone. <__>)

    Regardless. The discussion is usually my partner discussing what rules he wants to set and me having to decide if I feel like I can be flexible with them. If I don't think I can, we either find a way to compromise so that I can or I stay single.

    Doing things this way has saved me a /lot/ of grief in the past. It's honest and upfront. What more can a person ask for besides for me to be something I'm not?
     
    Cheating has to be intentional. You have to specifically want and choose to have some kind of romantic moment with a person other than the one you're with. It's about breaking your commitment to someone, whatever that commitment is between you two. So getting drunk and making out with a stranger wouldn't exactly be cheating, although it would still show that you don't exactly respect the commitment you have with someone, but kissing someone while knowing that you're attracted to them would be cheating.

    Of course it might be a good idea to play it safe and just consider any kind of romantic contact as cheating whether it's intentional or not just so everyone's on the same page. It's easy enough to see how one person in a relationship can do something they honestly don't think is cheating while the other person does.


    Don't really know how my definition would apply to open relationships, three-way relationships, and so on since they have their own standards.
     
    Depends on your intentions. I think you can be with someone and kiss someone else, but feel nothing towards them and to me I wouldn't see that as cheating. For example if I kissed anyone else besides my boyfriend I wouldn't feel anything while kissing them. It would literally just be a mindless action that I'm not getting any pleasure/satisfaction out of.

    Overall I believe once it turns sexual then it becomes cheating, but then again not always! I'm I going to want the person I'm with to have sex with people behind my back? No, not really, but anything can be talked about. I would rather have them just be honest and ask me if it's okay than do it secretly. I like to think I'm pretty understanding when it comes to sexual situations and as long as there isn't any other romantic feelings in the mix then it's not a huge deal. Only because I know for myself I could hook up with tons of different people and feel absolutely nothing towards them, but I know plenty of others who tell me they can't without already having feelings or getting attached afterwards... which wouldn't be okay with me.
     
    Cheating is when your partner gets romantically involved with another person, be it kissing, sexual intercourse or anything else. Obviously with a kiss it could be a friendly one (Which aren't so common nowadays but eh) though thats up the the interpretation of the partner being cheated on. Obviously it's (a little) more forgivable if you were drunk when you cheated but otherwise it's a person who intends on being unfaithful to their significant other.
     
    I think it's cheating when done without the partner's knowledge and with an intention to cover it up.

    IMO, my partner can be the person who had slept and continue to sleep with every other person in the neighbourhood for all I care so long as I know from the start that this is the case. If I am fine with that, it won't stop me from loving him/her for the qualities s/he attracted me with. If I am not fine with that, then s/he either changes the habit or the relationship stops. Just because s/he had sex with many people does not imply unfaithfulness; doing it behind my back but not wanting me to know do. I don't have much of a sexual drive; why not let other people fulfill his/hers for me free of charge? Just because we are married/in a romantic relationship doesn't mean sex must be involved.
     
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