I appreciate you bring patient and understanding with me. Likewise, it's not personal! I just tend to.. not prioritize things appropriately and personal conversations slip away.
But as for your previous message, I completely agree about your assessment of the herping community! Damn if some of the people aren't the most elitist, 'holier than thou' group of individuals out there. Endless criticisms about "that enclosure is too big/small", "there's not enough/too much humidity", "You're not allowed to handle that!!". It can be very tedious involving oneself in these circles! I personally just love these misunderstood creatures and believe that providing an adequate living arrangement can come in many, many forms. There is no right or wrong answer as long as you and the animal are happy. <3
I also relate to your passion for arachnids. I was so terrified of them that I wasn't able to walk between two solid, vertical structures outside. Entering doorways, walking between trees, parked cars, all over fear or their webs -- not even the spiders themselves. When confronted with an actual spider, I'd lapse into an irrational panic and not be able to take my eyes off of it. I believed that the only thing worse than a spider you can see is a spider you know is there and can't see. your story about that wolf spider would have had me hyperventilating and passing out at my computer. ..My phobia actually controlled a large portion of my life and kept me from doing things I wanted to do. It got to the point that going outside was a challenge so I decided to try exposure therapy. I educated myself. I learned. And my perception changed entirely! It was the humble jumping spider that first converted me -- I was so charmed by their big eyes and petite bodies! Once I became aware of their behaviors, habitats, and ecology I found my fear was replaced with curiosity. It took about a year but I was able to work myself up to where I am now; loving spiders and bugs, keeping them, admiring them, and generally doing my part to make my home a little nicer for spiders. :)
It was through the T hobby that i was introduced to the invert community since the two tend to go hand in hand. Again, it was hard for me not to be charmed by reptiles and amphibians despite my fear (though, I was less afraid of snakes). When you pay attention and begin to decode their behavior, you really learn how expressive they can be! And I just love that.. I feel like I'm connecting with something so ancient and primal, you know? I dunno, maybe that doesn't make sense, lol.
I'm sure that mama wolf spider would forgive you knowing you've come around to being compassionate towards them. <3