Shining Raichu

I've been meaning to ask you this a while ago: How & when did you become gay?

How is my accent Irish I don't get it I just listened to my thing for the first time (also I sound like crap I have to redo it)

Oh, I know it's easier! xD and I'm one to talk, since I wail 'I HATE CHILDREN!' at the rooftops at least three times a day. It just might not be right, is all. But pffft, who cares about right, right? ;) Also, call me a fool but I prefer society the way it is now - flawed, but currently not producing an unmanageable amount of unhinged product - to how it might be if kids' importance was denigrated. Enough young people are messed up these days without them being sidelined - maybe this is just the way the world has to work. I dunno. I bain't no phillyosepher, just a humble country bumpkin. ;)

Seriously, though, on your second point. I'm honestly not sure it works like that - not sure that people have a polished mental coffee table of all the things they like to do (like writing articles or spending time with your baby), and that when one arrives the others must all be pushed around and reduced to fit the newcomer. Humans aren't that complex, lol. I think we're much more likely to enjoy the activity we're currently engaged in and, for that time, forget everything else (at least to the extent where it would downgrade our enjoyment of something). It's like your love for Rowling, if you'll pardon the analogy - you enjoy watching Zero Punctuation too, but when you're reading Deathly Hallows you don't randomly spring yourself out of the immersal to declare, 'Gee! I love this book, but I really love Yahtzee too! My feelings are conflicted! I can't enjoy Harry's scarring as much as I once did because now my priorities have shifted, and maybe I'd be having a better time watching a potty-mouthed cynic raving about terrible game design! I can't decide!'

You'd go insane, thinking like that - which is why I think all those actresses you mention (and I've seen them too) are talking out of their behinds. When they're shooting a sex scene with whichever droolworthy individual is lucky enough to be picked for the job, are they thinking about Little Baby Wonderboy? Are they monkeynuts. Yeah, at the time of the interview, they're probably humming on their hands and wishing they were back home breast-feeding, as do I, so I can get my ladder, so naturally their answers are going to be tainted by their current thoughts. I could be wrong, but I'd wager decent money that in interviews where the actresses are laughing and hanging out with their co-stars, Babyface McJunior doesn't come up half as much - if at all. It's all about the circumstance.

Deep breath. Essentially, positive experiences don't tend to rub against each other in a nasty scrapey splintery fashion, I reckon... lemme pick apart your answer IN FORENSIC DETAIL to try and prove that point. >:)

You argue that Brooker 'doesn't enjoy the work as much as he once did, instead preferring to spend time with his new baby because that is more important than any article he could ever write'. I doubt that's true. If it was, you could apply it to anything he did (which I think was the point, right?) - that, post-priority-shift, you are overwhelmingly fixated with spending time with your new kid at the expense of everything else.

For the first few weeks, maybe. Maybe. But after that, the novelty wears the hell off and parents start actively seeking time away. Just look at this survey I conducted two seconds ago with the aid of my trusty companion Google McGoogleson. Just look.



It's the most searched query prefaced with 'I need a break'. Not holidays, not work, not even Kit-Kats - nothing tops kids. Because they're exhausting little creatures. Brooker's article about the birth is biased in the extreme because - I reckon - the novelty is just beginning. Ask him in a year and he'll probably mutter darkly under his breath about that incident with the hosepipe and the squirrel and the tractor prior to anything else. Yeah, there's arguably a glandular instinct to bond, but we're humans. We're brilliant. We ignore just about all of our other base instincts in order to form societies where 99% of us are routinely and royally screwed over, which at first glance doesn't sound like an achievement, but is - if only because we're the only animals in the world to have that capability. A month from now, article-writing will probably seem like the greatest escape ever - and I'd even go so far as to say he'll enjoy it even more. So stick that in your Child-Catcher™ branded pipe and smoke it. ;)

...Also I freaking HOPE it wasn't an April Fool's after all the words we've expended on it ;) and yeah, Yahtzee's always been a big fan of Brooker. Funny story, actually - when Brooker decided to do a Gameswipe, he heard about ZP, watched him, became a fan and tried to get him on the show. And thus the wheel turned full circle. ;) Apparently it fell through though, as did the show, so there we are.

Oh, and I joined your club today, so be a good fellow and add me to the list. ;) That can be before or after you smash my knees in with a baseball bat (since I have no intention of EVER becoming a writer, xD - I don't possess the necessary self-discipline), either's good. I'm not fussy about impending personal injury. xD

also i wrote 50 pages of harry potter fanfic once. somethin like 60k words. yeah. you're not reading it because it's genuinely freaking terrible, i only bring it up because maybe i do have self-discipline! maybe i do! i love my newfound confidence, it burns with beautiful brightness! ;)

it took me SIX MONTHS. i wrote EVERY NIGHT WUT NO SRSLY

Ahhh I'm excited-- I think I'm going to see it next week. /sob I'm waiting for my Captain America and Iron Man interactions. >righteous primp vs. idgaf rich boy

Ahahaha, I'm flattered! ;v;;; I can't wait to go see the movie, how was it?

xD

Ok, I wasn't sure, i mean GOSH ANDY GET UP IN MY GRILL ABOUT IT GEEZ IM SORRY WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME PLEASE NO DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE OW THAT HURT OK I'LL TELL EVERYONE I RAN INTO THE DOORKNOB PLEASE FORGIVE ME- er ok

Simpsons can't be a bad influence, look how good I turned out! Well, squint a bit maybe, or a lot.

Or maybe you're just trying to be saucy on the internet. Now that sounds plausible.

xD I can't believe you haven't somehow stumbled across Brooker before! If only because just about every cynical funnyman has cited him at some point as their inspiration (Zero Punctuation springs to mind). Also this. You've probably already read it, but if not go. Scoot. Now. It's so perfectly bang on the head that I'm seeing little stars right now.

xD and yes yes yes you sound dark and evilly. Like an apprentice child-catcher sharpening his yellowy fingernails while musing through his razor-filed pointy teeth that the world would just be better, so simply better and easier and more well-organised if he were to release a serum into the water that KILLED ALL CHILDREN STONE DEAD KILL NOW FWEGJDRFHIBGFT. I shall neither take a side nor deflect from the issue, 'cept to timidly venture that we was all babies once.

(A-and also that 'hating them for what they do to people' - unintentionally - is somewhat akin to hating sheep because you have an ALLERGIC REACTION TO THEM and thus YOU HATE ALL SHEEP and the reaction is IRREVERSIBLE and PERVERSE TO THE EXTREME, and despite the fact that it's probably not the sheep's fault that you sneeze and cough and spray blood violently whenever one wanders within a five-mile radius and just an unfortunate consequence of genetics and natural selection (though how I cannot imagine and sod it, this metaphor is random on purpose), YOUR HATRED IS VIRULENTLY FOCUSED TOWARDS THEM AND THEM ALONE... rather than the aforementioned genetics and natural selection. Which would be perfectly valid targets, I hasten to add, and much less likely to bite your finger when they sense your bubbling hatred. So there's that. :P)

(...Holy bejeebus, I write too much. Blame my old RE teacher. He got us thinking about the other side of the arguments you have and I mean COME ON WHO EVEN DOES THAT RIGHT. ;))

Also my poetic nuances are blatantly ripped off from this guy, who as it happens wrote a brilliant article about babies that you are GOING TO READ. Because I have a feeling it will appeal to your crackpot sense of humour. (Sample at the moment of birth: 'I didn't hover round the business end. I'm not a fan of innards. What if you go mad and lean forward and dunk a biscuit in them or something?' Now go absorb.)

xP Oh sir, you're flusterin' me. Really now. Such praise for such a little thing. If you're not careful I might have to dress up as a MMO character and sing it to you. Which would be HORRIFYING BEYOND BELIEF.

xD and I never said how many episodes I'd seen! We bonded over our mutual Whedon-love because I've seen all of Firefly (SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOU TIGHTWAD) and at least ten hours of Buffy. So :P. xD

Aww ): lemme try deleting you and readding you to see if the works

Edit: nothing, still dont see you

I keep doing that

Apologies in advance for that song

Never gonna give you up / never gonna let you down

Why are you letting me down so much?

And I could just go on and on.

Amy Whinehouse? WHATEVER. My wife gave birth AND THUS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN HER.

You better read this all, btw. I WANT TO FEEL THE RAGE

NO WAIT I FOUND THE BEST ONE. By best one I mean one of the most condescending.

Don't be silly, once you're a dad you can't have a fancy car! You have to trade it in for a babymobile. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BABIEZ