growth out of pain

how have you recovered or built yourself back up after a difficult, lasting event in your life?

Does appendicitis count?

Zapmolticuno said:

Does appendicitis count?

Click to expand...

I'm sure it does, that's a very serious condition, good work!

I had some rough spots in my teenage years, mostly from mental illness but now I'm in therapy and doingreally good!

hm...let's see..

well! i was bullied all through middle school. high school wasn't very good either. i didn't get bullied, but my mental health was at an awful state all throughout high school. luckily, in 10th grade i transferred to a private school for people with mental health issues and stuff like that. i got a lot of help that i needed there. i had a somewhat decent social worker (i never really liked her tbh), but her intern was amazing, sadly i didn't work with her for too long, only half a year i think? uhm.. the school i went to basically helped me get through a lot of my rough times.

but now that i graduated i can sort of feel myself slipping back into that hard spot.. :/

When a relative passed away about three years ago.
I've never been an emotional person but that one period really had me emotionally broken.

I've been distracting myself from the memory and still do to this day, so I somehow managed to get through it even though the thought still comes up in my mind, sometimes.

Yes.

When I was growing up, in school, I didn't have many friends. And the friends that I did have weren't very nice for the most part. I constantly was put down; but really who wasn't bullied when they were young, right? I think my experience just stuck with me.
Some of the harsh things I was told by those who I loved included "You deserve to be shot dead" (which prompted a suicide attempt, actually.) And when calling a friend needing help after the incident was then told "You know I don't like phones" and immediately hung up on. And then reaching out to someone else ended with "Maybe if you weren't so fat and ugly people would like you better."
Harsh words on repeat x10 every day.

Fast forward to my mid 20s, living on my own in another country, doing well for myself but each year my anxiety and depression getting worse every day. Every day I'd cry myself to sleep. I'd have panic attacks over little things that didn't make any sense. I felt absolutely stuck, helpless and like something was wrong. I even developed anorexia, I think it must've been to have something to control, or maybe it was a silent cry for help.

Anyway, I decided not to feel sorry for myself. I sought out therapy, and luckily I had private healthcare. I saw an amazing psychologist and worked extremely hard on my negative thinking patterns. I kept a journal and wrote down all of the worrying thoughts I had and how to turn them into good thoughts. I fought with "catastrophizing" and my "black and white thinking" and slowly began to see the grey.
I worked on my diet- choosing to nourish myself with healthy foods. I worked on being kind to myself, noticing when I'd put myself down. I worked on opening up more to people, realizing that more people in the world actually want to help instead of harm. I raised my standards and overcame the fear of asking. I tried new things, like meditation and yoga. I began to be braver and more spontaneous, even taking a trip to Japan by myself last year.

Therapy started 3 years ago, but ended 2 years ago. Now I'm 27. My anxiety and depression are gone.
I do still have my moments from time to time, but they are rare. I still have some health issues to battle with that came from stress-overload (endocrine system) and malnourishment to my body. I am focusing now on nourishing myself, and being happy with who I am. I am beginning to believe that I am enough just the way I am now.
It's a journey, but it's worth taking. And my biggest point to remember for myself is to appreciate where I am now, instead of ridiculing myself for only having gone a small way to where I want to be.

I encourage everyone just to take a small step. Change doesn't have to be hard. And think about where you are now. What are you willing to tolerate? I'm not willing to tolerate being unhappy and self-critical any longer.

Oh and I also reversed a brain (pituitary) tumor. But I'll save that story for another time.

Sure. If you don't manage to pull yourself back together after something awful, it will just eat away at you until you die. I've had to learn to deal with my mental health issues and autism, broken relationships of all different kinds and now I'm battling through some nasty health problems. I won't say I've grown as a result of everything I've been through, but for the most part I've at least come to terms with the things that have really messed me up.

I think when you face a lot of pain caused by other people you become a victim. At first it feels like a fair thing to be, but then over time you find yourself being the victim even when no one is there to inflict pain upon you. You might replay the bad things that have been said or done causing you to keep experiencing that pain.

Even when I was working really hard on myself I was still replaying past events over and over in my mind. No longer was anyone punishing me but myself. I just had to let go of the things that have happened. There's no sense in letting the past continually hurt me or hold me back from how I want to feel.

I've spent five years now really working on myself mentally and I've come so far. One of the last really big obstacles has just been stopping those memories from replaying and just trying to get a real peace of mind. Realizing I don't have to be the victim anymore has helped a lot.