A Realisation About Myself

[Shining Raichu]

So, I came to a realisation about myself today. Did the title give that away? Oh, I'm no good at suspense. Anyway, this realisation came to me when I went to visit Drew's profile a few minutes ago to ask him a question. While I was there, I decided to briefly stalk his profile, where I found this at the top of his "About Me" section:

So I've noticed that I'm iffy on accepting random friend requests. If you want me to add you, then talk to me. If we can't manage anything more then 'Hi, how are you?', I don't think we need to add each other. The people on my list are people that I can talk with easily, and have things in common with, so I don't wanna sit on a list, or be added just because I'm a staff member. I clean out my list quite often.

I'd gone onto his profile to ask a question and had no other agenda, but to my surprise I found that this made me want to be his friend. I then realised that the reason for this wasn't about Drew at all (though I'm sure he's very nice and a worthwhile person to get to know). It was about the exclusivity of being his friend. I wanted to be one of those people that 'makes the cut', so to speak. And Drew isn't the only person I've found a desire to befriend for similar reasons. The problem for me is that it simultaneously makes me desperately want to be their friend and too shy to bother trying.

Now please don't get me wrong, I highly doubt this was his intention - and I certainly won't be attempting to inflict myself upon him after I've made this embarrassing and dorky blog post, but I have to wonder whether some people do do this intentionally - create a quality about themselves in order to draw people in (or to keep them away).

I'd ask anyone kind enough to read my blog, do you do this? Or are you like me? Are you drawn into the indifference people seem to show toward the general public, wanting to be one of the people awesome enough to break down the wall? Has anyone else found this about themselves?

Footnote: This post was simply to relay a realisation about myself and is in NO WAY to be seen as an attack on or criticism of Drew, nor was it intended to colour people's perceptions of him in any way. He was merely the catalyst and the example I chose for this entry. I also apologise for my assumption that Drew is male, which I realise may or may not be the case

 

[Aquacorde]

Ehh... I know a lot of people that are like you, wanting to "make the cut" as you say. And I know many that try to draw people to them. It's fairly common both ways I think, no matter if people admit to it or not.

I don't think I do either; if I do, it's not on purpose. I mean... I try to come off as neutral. Not a person everyone will want to be friends with, but not a person everyone will dislike or disregard.

ffff I don't know what I'm trying to say you can ignore this or not whatever. ^^;

 

[Livewire]

People do things like that for attention, usually. You'll find that the best people here, are the ones who are themselves around the forums- they don't concoct some online person or other personality just for the sake of attention.

When It comes to friend requests, the more the merrier I say. It doesn't matter how many friends I have or how many people add me. To me, just sending the request or adding you on MSN implies that they're friendly, or just looking for someone to talk to. C:

 

[Taemin]

I talk to people.. or rather.. try to break the ice with people, if I happen to read their interests and we have things in common. I think most people enjoy 'making the cut' onto people's friends list, even if it's for different reasons. It doesn't make you a bad person.. >_> Talk to me if you want, and to your VM, you didn't have to delete it. I would've answered as soon as I popped back online. I happened to be at work at the time, that's why I didn't answer right away. xD;

 

[Meganium]

I do that for a reason. I used to get a ton of friend requests from people I haven't even talked to, and it's silly because most of them do that just so they can have a huge friends list. I try to keep my friends list as short as possible... so I can have the same people I talk to. I love friend requests, but only when I talked to the person, or if we have something in common.

I'm a nice person to talk to, but this is just a preference of mine. I'd rather talk to someone before I jump right ahead and befriend them.

 

[s0nido]

This is me exactly. XD; I'm attracted to indifferent people mainly because of the fact that they've said something like "Well I'm not close with a lot of people" or "I don't make many friends for blah blah blah reason". I also hold a very strong grudge against those people for making me fall for them because sometimes I think people do that purely for the attention. There are probably a lot of people who do it for the attention. I know that if I do it I don't really have any malicious intent, since I act quickly before I think about what I could do.

 

[Taemin]

^ Pardon moi for not wanting a friends list of 300 people, when only 70 or so are actually 'friends'. xD; I can't speak for others, but I don't do it to get attention, I do it so that the people who are on my list can be genuine friends with me. I don't wanna be a number. PC isn't Myspace. ><;

 

[Ho-Oh]

Yeah I only accept people I feel closest with (and I accept two people at once because I only want even number friends list which doesn't mean I don't like others any less, it's like kinda a time period before I know I want to be friends with them? idk)

 

[AshPikastar]

I usually accept friend invites from members I know from either other sites that came to this site or just members that I started talking to a lot on the forum and became close friends. I don't mind getting a invite from a new member that just joined and would like to become friends with me since I know what it was like to be new to a forum site.

 

[Captain Fabio]

I really don't understand why people want so many friend requests. This isn't a Social Networking site like Facebook where your E-Penis is apparently measured by the number of friends you don't do know.

I normally ignore friends requests on here if I don't know them.

 

[Oryx]

I just accept whatever's sent at me, honestly. xD I mean, I almost never look at my friends list. If I want to talk to someone, I always find them by some other means. On Facebook and such, I'm picky because the people on my list see some personal things about me that I don't want to share with anyone, but there's no difference in my profile whether or not you're my friend on PC, so it really doesn't matter to me. Sounds like I'm in the minority here though. Oh well :3

 

[TwilightBlade]

Hi I have 300 friends let's be friends too okay <3

I'm on the opposite end of that relationship; I appreciate people taking the time, courage, and awesomeness to break down my wall. I accept whatever is sent to me. I cannot say I've memorized my friends list. I cannot say I personally know every one of my 300+ PC friends. I consider the friends list as a starting ground, though. People who make a difference in my life will earn a place in my heart and memory, no matter what my friends list displays.

 

[Melody]

I keep my friends list exclusive because honestly, I have trouble keeping up with the ones I DO have. D8

Seriously, don't get me wrong, but...most everyone on my friends list, I hit it off with at some point or another and got to know them well enough to certify them as friends.

I'll freely admit, I don't always go around PM/VM/IM-ing my friends, in fact I hardly speak much at all unless I need to...mostly because I'm that quiet type of person anyway until I open up to a person.

Still, I can't blame Drew for having such a policy, I have a similar one to prevent random requests myself...but I'm easier to please requirement wise than Drew has to be because I'm not staff, so I don't have kiss-ups like she does.

I won't condone deletion of people just because they don't talk to you all the time though, and I certainly don't do deletions unless the account has been inactive at least three months at minimum, up to a year if I knew them well or they announced an LoA with an understandable reason for a longer amount of time.

 

[Xyrin]

I do this becuse I want to keep my friends list tidy. Honestly if somebody sends me a random request I just VM them and say "Hey, I don't accept random friend requests. Let's talk first, how has your day been?" Because I don't want people I never talk to on my list. I always VM before adding somebody to see if we have enough in common and can be friends.

But that's just me.

 

[Vrai]

I usually have no desire like that unless I actually find that person insanely interesting in which case I'll end up hopefully being someone they could easily talk to anyway. I guess what I mean is I don't do that unless I actually intend to be their friend in the end, anyway. ;;