Antisocial

[PinkOmnimon]

How do I stop being such a lame-a-zoid and start being able to talk to people by getting out of my comfort zone? Without the use of alcohol.

 

[Broncos]

You have it in you, as we all do. The hardest part is putting yourself in situations where your good qualities can contribute. Say you're good at talking about sports, though you're not an athlete; just simply engage in conversation and see where it takes you.

The more you practice this the better you'll become. Adaptation is key. Jumping from one convo to the next. Play it cool. Be confident.

 

[Flushed]

Maybe join clubs and hang around people with the same interests? Just putting yourself out there, you'll get used to being in that sort of environment. I'm kinda in the same boat, and I'm tempted to just say yolo, just break the ice, but I understand that's not exactly the best advice.

 

[curiousnathan]

Begin to do things here and there without thinking too hard about it; go up to someone and just chat to people. (Of course in the right environment). What's there to lose?

Also, why not join a club and meet people with similar interests? That will definitely help!

 

[Talon]

I'm sort of antisocial, because of social anxiety. But, I have started to become less so.

Force yourself into social situations. Don't back away from them.
Just remember that first impressions CAN be fixed. If someone doesn't like you at first, you CAN change their opinion of you. It's hard, but it can be done.
If someone doesn't like you, or ignores you, just ♥♥♥♥ em, you don't need those people.
Try to find people you can connect with, and talk to them. Don't worry about being nervous or messing up, just throw yourself into a conversation, if they're your friend or like you, they'll let mistakes go, and focus about the things you do right.

Most importantly: Just go into social situations, just force yourself into them. Get your friends to help you. If they care about you, they'll help you the most they can.

 

[PinkOmnimon]

I don't like to just throw myself into conversations though because I feel bad. If I go in then if I don't say something everything just gets awkward and usually if I do say something it's totally inappropriate. And I don't want to feel like a burden on other people.

 

[Nick]

You can always smoke weed!

 

[PinkOmnimon]

You can always smoke weed!

:I



Probably not....but if you got some cocaine ;) -nudge nudge-

 

[Nick]

I went out with my friend for St. Patricks day and met his girlfriend and two of his friends. I was so nervous. I was shaking and everything. I'm not good with meeting people, so I drank. I know you said no drinking recommendations, but that helped me a lot. I was able to be myself. It's not smart to resort to alcohol whenever you meet someone new, but it really did help me out and now I have new friends.

 

[Sonata]

Drugs are bad and you shouldn't use them to get over social problems, same with alcohol. If you get drunk or high someone will take advantage of you.

 

[Talon]

I don't like to just throw myself into conversations though because I feel bad. If I go in then if I don't say something everything just gets awkward and usually if I do say something it's totally inappropriate. And I don't want to feel like a burden on other people.

That's the thing, don't. Just throw yourself in. If people don't like you, just forget about them, and find people who do. I promise there is someone who likes you. I don't even know you, but you seem interesting enough :D You won't be a burden to others, esp. if they know what your really trying to do.

I've been working on doing the same thing your trying to do. So far, I've just started talking to people I don't know, and they don't shove me away, they listen, and if they get bored, they leave. Don't worry about other people. Worry about yourself. Your the most important person you know!

Do you have something like Social Anxiety? Or do you just not talk to people. The latter is much easier to cure.

If you don't want to just throw yourself in, and want to take it slow, then here's what I would recommend:

Start talking to people. Maybe one person here and there, but over time, pick up the pace. Put yourself into more places where talk to people. Do it at your own pace, and don't go to fast for your comfort. No matter how long it takes, as long as you get it done, you've done great. Just talk to people. They won't just push you away, they'll tell you if they don't like you, and if it's a girl, they'll hide it if they do, but if they talk to you, they like you.

Don't feel like a burden, if people don't know anything about you, they'll want to learn about you. Humans, just like cats, have a curious nature. People want to know about the mysterious kid that doesn't talk. Trust me, just talk to them. That's the only advice I can really give. Sorry if that doesn't help, but it's all I got! Good luck :)

 

[PinkOmnimon]

That's the thing, don't. Just throw yourself in. If people don't like you, just forget about them, and find people who do. I promise there is someone who likes you. I don't even know you, but you seem interesting enough :D You won't be a burden to others, esp. if they know what your really trying to do.

I've been working on doing the same thing your trying to do. So far, I've just started talking to people I don't know, and they don't shove me away, they listen, and if they get bored, they leave. Don't worry about other people. Worry about yourself. Your the most important person you know!

Do you have something like Social Anxiety? Or do you just not talk to people. The latter is much easier to cure.

If you don't want to just throw yourself in, and want to take it slow, then here's what I would recommend:

Start talking to people. Maybe one person here and there, but over time, pick up the pace. Put yourself into more places where talk to people. Do it at your own pace, and don't go to fast for your comfort. No matter how long it takes, as long as you get it done, you've done great. Just talk to people. They won't just push you away, they'll tell you if they don't like you, and if it's a girl, they'll hide it if they do, but if they talk to you, they like you.

Don't feel like a burden, if people don't know anything about you, they'll want to learn about you. Humans, just like cats, have a curious nature. People want to know about the mysterious kid that doesn't talk. Trust me, just talk to them. That's the only advice I can really give. Sorry if that doesn't help, but it's all I got! Good luck :)

I don't really know what it is. I just like when I used to be in band I was friends with a few people in there and that was all the friends I really had. But I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to them. I only talk to people when I'm either not with a clear head or when they approach me first because I know I don't have anything important to say to them so they should go talk to people that matter and have something worth listening to. And then like I worry that I might say something wrong and upset someone or a secret will be told and then I'll get like lectured on how I have to keep it a secret for an hour. And I like to be around people but I don't like to be around people. I like having company but I don't want to bother them or really be bothered unless I feel like it.

 

[Broncos]

At the end of the day, you will approach situations the way you want to. Changing this habit though will not only make you better as a person but better with people. It's that commitment that you have towards your goal that will dictate the outcome. If you're truly wanting to change and become an individual that can keep up with conversations you have to start from square one and work your way up.

Hearing people out is a nice way to start. If you know someone who's going through some bad times then be there for them; add your opinions. People love to vent and just being there will sharpen your social skills. One crucial thing. Don't create a false facade! Change... But change for the better. Always remember to be yourself.

Plant the seed and let time create the garden.

 

[Talon]

I don't really know what it is. I just like when I used to be in band I was friends with a few people in there and that was all the friends I really had. But I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to them. I only talk to people when I'm either not with a clear head or when they approach me first because I know I don't have anything important to say to them so they should go talk to people that matter and have something worth listening to.

Aight, well, you just have to think that they want to hear what you have to say, bro! Even if they don't, if they don't know you, they'll want to get know you. Just talk to people you don't know anytime you have a chance! Most of the time they'll listen to you. I promise you, people want to get to know you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

Don't go out of your way to talk to people. Just when you have the chance, talk to them! They won't care, most people are carefree anyways. If you see a group of people talking and you don't know, ignore it. If there's at least one person you know, jump in and start by adding anything you can to a conversation. As long as you keep to the topic, you'll be fine. If you mess up, don't sweat it! They won't care. They'll forget about it in the next couple of minutes anyways.

I promise you that more people want to get to know you. Use friends you have as a conduit to other people. Even ask them to introduce you to more people. If they your antisocial, they'll help you out.

Never give up on your endeavors, man. Anything you want to do, go do it. Unless it's like robbing someone, or killing someone. You want to start a business? Do it! You want to talk to someone? Do it!

All I can really stress is the only way to get over being antisocial is to talk to people. I can't stress that enough to every antisocial person I meet.

I don't want to make this sound easy, it's not all. It's very hard, I just had a pretty nice amount of friends to help me, and this one girl. Just talking to her, because I don't know her that well, and I talk to her a lot, makes me feel more confident!

That's another thing, you have to be confident. If your not, you won't go anywhere. Stand up, say "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I will do it. I must do it." Over and over and over. If you tell yourself something, you'll believe it. Be confident! Don't look down. Stand straight up, don't hunch over, wear the nicest clothes you have, and you'll do better in school, AND be more confident. Then, as a side affect, people will find you more pleasing, and more appealing! Also, doing better in school will make more confident.

Ask girls out. Even if they aren't single. Even if you know they'll say no. It'll boost your confidence. Especially if you know they'll say no. It's practice for when you really want to ask one out, for real. It's awesome how much more confidence you'll gain from just asking them out. Don't be nervous, and don't be scared. Nervousness can actually make them tell that you like them, because your so nervous around them.

Take it out your own pace. Just be sure to slowly increase the pace, and talk to more and more people. Make more and more friends, and be more and more confident, but don't be cocky.

 

[PinkOmnimon]

At the end of the day, you will approach situations the way you want to. Changing this habit though will not only make you better as a person but better with people. It's that commitment that you have towards your goal that will dictate the outcome. If you're truly wanting to change and become an individual that can keep up with conversations you have to start from square one and work your way up.

Hearing people out is a nice way to start. If you know someone who's going through some bad times then be there for them; add your opinions. People love to vent and just being there will sharpen your social skills. One crucial thing. Don't create a false facade! Change... But change for the better. Always remember to be yourself.

Plant the seed and let time create the garden.

Pretty much the only time I talk to anyone is when they want to cry to me :/ when I had a cell the only time anyone would text me (besides my ex) would be if they wanted to cry to someone about something. One guy texts me like once a month talking about how he's going to kill himself because he's unnatractive and nobody likes him and stuff. The only time I go out of my way to talk to someone is if they're off by themselves with nobody else around and I'm sure nobody else will come around and see me.

 

[Bellsprout]

I get so nervous to talk to people sometimes because I feel like I'm going to say the wrong thing or they're not going to want to talk or a million other minor things. But by getting so nervous about what they might think or do if I do talk to them I end up unintentionally secluding myself from people which just causes you to appear more unapproachable or standoffish. Which in the end defeated the whole purpose of why I didn't speak to them in the first place: because I didn't want them to think I was weird or annoying or stupid or whatever other negative term you can think of. But because I stayed to myself people sometimes do think I'm weird or that there's something wrong with me when really I'm just painfully shy or just idk at a loss for words.

I don't know if this is exactly how you feel or not, but regardless it's going to have to be something that you work on with yourself. It's hard to change the way you are over night so I'd just take it day by day and try saying or doing things that you normally wouldnt have. Even something small like a hello, how are you? Even if you don't get the best results right away you shouldn't let it discourage you. No one is perfect and sometimes the responses you get from people suck, but that's when you have to think it's literally not me this time lol.

 

[Aeroblast]

Keep in mind that the term antisocial is usually related to words like violent, harmful, etc.

That aside, if you're in a school setting, for example, try talking to them about classes, grades, etc. It's one thing to talk about, and work your way up to finding some common grounds.

 

[King Kū]

Weed is good, ain't worth the consequences though.

I'm generally good in social situations, I think a lot of the tips given here are pretty good. Outside of school I made lots of my friends with clubs and extra-curricular stuff. If you're religious then there aren't often many religious gathering parties where alcohol will play a part. But again, that's down to your beliefs.

 

[Belldandy]

Mm... liquid courage does help :x I'm not anti-social by choice, though. I have social anxiety that actually blockades me from talking to people, especially in large groups. I have panic attacks and hyperventilate, and it's way worse when it involves group projects that actually affect my education, etc. That's why I have an IEP that instructs teachers to modify coursework around my "condition" (as they call it).

I'd say try to work your way into it. Maybe start by talking to friends of friends in a comfortable setting. It really depends on how bad it is, if it's a choice, if there's a fear involved. I'm trying to get over my own fears and anxieties relative to people, so I'm a bit in the same boat :) I only feel safe talking to people at work lol

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

I know how you feel. I'm really anti-social because of my autism. It's hard to keep up with small talk and to meet new friends. I usually just post and run off without really trying to communicate. It can be overwhelming for me to interact with individual people. I guess that's why I haven't met very many new friends here.

I wouldn't mind being your friend. ^w^ You seem like a really good person. Like I said before, I know what it's like being afraid and shy of others. I think you should just be yourself. Don't stress yourself over trying to go up to someone and trying to befriend them. I'm really bad at giving advice though so... :x