Autism, Aspergers syndrome etc.

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

Well, I've always wanted people to understand that I have a disability. I mean no, I don't want people treating me like I need some sort of special treatment or anything but to just simply understand that if I make a mistake or do something without thinking, not to lash out at me, you know?

No, it's not you. Sometimes I wonder if I even have it because I hardly ever have those violent meltdowns and even do the worst autistic behaviors. I only get mild behaviors and I never have any strict rituals...see, my autism seems much more complicated. It;s not like some serious thing for me since most of the time it seems pretty mild. It usually only gets worse when I deal with sound or social interaction. It's like, really loud sounds make me cover my ears but to be honest, that doesnt happen often and then with touch, I usually get overwhelmed by affection.

I know when i was little, and I was sick, my parents couldn't even touch me. So maybe it's because it's getting better, I don't know. I know that I often get yelled at for obsessing over something but to be honest, I was never hard on something changing. In fact, change is usually good for me because it makes me feel really excited.

I also have a thread question: When did you find out you had said disorder? what sort of reaction did it provide? ^^

In some ways, i do have autistic traits because I have little to no eye contact and often let my eyes wander when I'm talking to someone. I also do a lot of fidgeting and odd movements like flicking my wrists or shaking my feet.

I also make a lot of noises and often make weird noises or hum. I also repeat phrases from my favorite shows and remember a lot of my favorite parts and I even say things with the TV while watching something.

So, in same way I am autistic but most autistic people act differently depending on how severe they are. Though, I am very aggressive and I yell and throw things a lot. I do get pretty emotional too and it's always hard for people to understand that.

That actually moved me ^_^ A heartfelt post indeed!

I also have very rare eye contact. I normally look down, or to the side of a person when i am talking to them. Though I also have no rituals or schedules that may seem "typical" for some members of the spectrum. You're also right on that it's more that if someone has enough traits of being autistic, that's what they are diagnosed as. I suppose in certain ways We are all similar, in at least one of the traits we have (i.e, Misayu, you and me have little eye contact). Otherwise, there would'nt be much point in considering someone to be autistic :P Still, what we have is what we have,and I wouldn't trade autism for the world; It's my personality!

I also have a thread question: When did you find out you had said disorder? How did you feel?

I personally found out from my mum when i was 8. At first i was happy that i had a solution for what people considered my "unusual" behaviour, but still shocked.

 

[Amaruuk]

What I hate about Asperger's not being that clearly defined (and this might also be because my case is fairly mild) is when I explain it, people think I'm making **** up or just trying to find excuses for things. Even if they know kind of what it is, explaining makes people automatically assume I'm using a diagnosis as a crutch or something. People just suck sometimes, I suppose XD

I hate excuses anyway, and people who do use disabilities as a crutch or a pity magnet. I don't want pity, I want people to treat me as their equals, but still keep my quirks in mind so they understand the cause behind the way I am. I don't want to leave people in the dark only for them to find something out the hard way later. That's why I explain first thing.

 

[Soul Eater]

One of my best friends has aspergers. He goes to speach therepay and he's starting to sound better.

I had to take speech therapy too. It does help a lot but usually you still lack a proper vocabulary. I know I do. D: I sometimes have a hard time being able to explain what I want verbally, but can easily write down and explain it much better that way.

Kinarii: OMG, I know! I have the same problem. People always think I'm just making an excuse to get attention and I hate that. Yeah, I try do the same. I always make sure that people understand when I do something off than normal, not to lash out but to simply say, "oh, it's okay. Don't be mad over it." or something but not pity me.

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

I used to go to speech therapy too ^_^ Though problems with my verbal use were very, very mild for me, i wasn't there long.

PS: I edited a thread question into my previous post ^^

 

[Soul Eater]

That actually moved me ^_^ A heartfelt post indeed!

I also have very rare eye contact. I normally look down, or to the side of a person when i am talking to them. Though I also have no rituals or schedules that may seem "typical" for some members of the spectrum. You're also right on that it's more that if someone has enough traits of being autistic, that's what they are diagnosed as. I suppose in certain ways We are all similar, in at least one of the traits we have (i.e, Misayu, you and me have little eye contact). Otherwise, there would'nt be much point in considering someone to be autistic :P Still, what we have is what we have,and I wouldn't trade autism for the world; It's my personality!

I also have a thread question: When did you find out you had said disorder? How did you feel?

I personally found out from my mum when i was 8. At first i was happy that i had a solution for what people considered my "unusual" behaviour, but still shocked.

Well, for me, it was always hard because in Life skills, I was nitpicked for behavoirs and one time, at the bank while cashing our checks...it was me and a boy with down syndrome, my friend and he cut me by accident. I told him he was cutting but then the aide, her name was Bonnie told me not to yell at him.

See, before I go further, I have to say that I have problems with hearing the pitch of my actual voice. It results in my talking more loudly than I should and not even knowing. People always lash out at me because of it and always think they can fix it but they can't.

Anyway, back to the story, I snapped at Bonnie and she got even more mad because I was trying to tell her about my pitch problems and hearing but she wouldnt believe me.

Guess what she does? She takes us back to school and tells the teacher. The teacher, Sue, calls me in and acts me why I yelled. I specifically told her about my problems with hearing and pitch but she said I was making an excuse and I wasn't so here I was ready slap her and in tears at the same time, with her getting mad because I was snapping at her.

I mean god, what part of terrible pitch issues do people NOT understand? >_>

It has always been a problem for me because people seem to either not understand of forget that I have them and end up getting mad at me. I can't help it because it's the autism. o_o

I was diagnosed around 2 or 3, after not talking until four but I was never told I had it until later on in like my senior year when my mom started talking about it. I always thought I just had ADHD but then she finally said I had mild autism, a slow learning disability AND ADHD. Which really, made up for alot.

I also found out I had severe anxiety issues, which I take medication for. I take stimulant medication for my ADHD but that's really all. D:

I also discovered I had mild to moderate mental retardation and that makes up for my lack of being able to perform daily living skills and why I'm 20 years old, unemployed while recieving SSI benefits AND living with my parents dependance. D:

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

Well, for me, it was always hard because in Life skills, I was nitpicked for behavoirs and one time, at the bank while cashing our checks...it was me and a boy with down syndrome, my friend and he cut me by accident. I told him he was cutting but then the aide, her name was Bonnie told me not to yell at him.

See, before I go further, I have to say that I have problems with hearing the pitch of my actual voice. It results in my talking more loudly than I should and not even knowing. People always lash out at me because of it and always think they can fix it but they can't.

Anyway, back to the story, I snapped at Bonnie and she got even more mad because I was trying to tell her about my pitch problems and hearing but she wouldnt believe me.

Guess what she does? She takes us back to school and tells the teacher. The teacher, Sue, calls me in and acts me why I yelled. I specifically told her about my problems with hearing and pitch but she said I was making an excuse and I wasn't so here I was ready slap her and in tears at the same time, with her getting mad because I was snapping at her.

I mean god, what part of terrible pitch issues do people NOT understand? >_>

It has always been a problem for me because people seem to either not understand of forget that I have them and end up getting mad at me. I can't help it because it's the autism. o_o

I really know where you're coming from there..I used to shout at my teachers over the smallest things i did. And some people are very foolish, because they become judgemental over why you're autistic. For example i used to be freinds with this guy, and afte a few months (I had told him about autism by then) He started saying stupid things like " I can tell you're autistic, you do this and that" Absolute BS. I ended things when he started calling me a retard in classes. Worse, the teacher didn't do a thing about it :( The kid was in hearing range too, I'm in the front row XD So was he.

Someitmes i really hate talking to people about it because they get their own ideas of what makes you autistic: basically, they start judging a part of you, what you ARE. Some people are really considerate though, i couldn't thank THOSE people enough. :P

 

[Soul Eater]

I really know where you're coming from there..I used to shout at my teachers over the smallest things i did. And some people are very foolish, because they become judgemental over why you're autistic. For example i used to be freinds with this guy, and afte a few months (I had told him about autism by then) He started saying stupid things like " I can tell you're autistic, you do this and that" Absolute BS. I ended things when he started calling me a retard in classes. Worse, the teacher didn't do a thing about it :( The kid was in hearing range too, I'm in the front row XD So was he.

Someitmes i really hate talking to people about it because they get their own ideas of what makes you autistic: basically, they start judging a part of you, what you ARE. Some people are really considerate though, i couldn't thank THOSE people enough. :P

Yeah, the hardest thing for me was my teachers. They never understand I was disabled. My second grade teacher was an ass because he made me sit in the back of the classroom against the wall. I couldn't turn around to face the class and I wasn't able to hear anything.

My teachers mistreated me and my mom always *****ed at them for it but it never seemed to get into their skulls.

I hardly ever made friends because I was always hanging out by the rocks. I would often take them home and collect them and prefer playing on the playground myself.

I act more like I am just an innocent seven year old child, rather than a twenty year old adult, like I should act. D:

 

[Amaruuk]

No, it's not you. Sometimes I wonder if I even have it because I hardly ever have those violent meltdowns and even do the worst autistic behaviors. I only get mild behaviors and I never have any strict rituals...see, my autism seems much more complicated. It;s not like some serious thing for me since most of the time it seems pretty mild. It usually only gets worse when I deal with sound or social interaction. It's like, really loud sounds make me cover my ears but to be honest, that doesnt happen often and then with touch, I usually get overwhelmed by affection.

I'm kind of the same way, seeming mild most of the time (people even tell me I'm a lot more normal than I think), but in certain situations I'll go batshit crazy, for lack of a better term. Sound is a major trigger, and one that's impossible to ignore. I also have a strong fear of conflict, so little things like arguments or being around certain people who are an established source of conflict I will avoid at all costs. I never ever do anything that I know will cause an unnecessary argument or won't have a positive outcome that's worth the drama required to get to. Because of this, I'm the biggest goody-goody around, going out of my way to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm also prone to feeling guilty for things even if no one else cares or even notices.

I also have a thread question: When did you find out you had said disorder? How did you feel?

I don't really remember when exactly I was diagnosed or how I felt. I was really young, like probably 5 or 6.

One of my ex-boyfriends who also has Asperger's was not diagnosed till he was 20 (he's 22). Knowing him, I'm pretty glad mine was caught right away. Let's just say he's gonna have a tough time even wanting to become a member of society.

I've also noticed (and read about) that Asperger's is rarer in girls, harder to diagnose, and generally affects them somewhat differently than it does boys. Boys I've met IRL with it tend to be louder, having trouble controlling the volume of their voice, and often more irritable (though not always). Girls I've seen are more shy or reserved, and don't seem so obvious, which is likely why it's harder to diagnose them.

 

[Soul Eater]

I'm kind of the same way, seeming mild most of the time (people even tell me I'm a lot more normal than I think), but in certain situations I'll go batshit crazy, for lack of a better term. Sound is a major trigger, and one that's impossible to ignore. I also have a strong fear of conflict, so little things like arguments or being around certain people who are an established source of conflict I will avoid at all costs. I never ever do anything that I know will cause an unnecessary argument or won't have a positive outcome that's worth the drama required to get to. Because of this, I'm the biggest goody-goody around, going out of my way to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm also prone to feeling guilty for things even if no one else cares or even notices.

OMG me too! I always hate fighting or conflicts. One time, at the wal-mart we went to some guy was fighting with the cop and it scared me to the point where I started to freak out and cry. I don't really know how to explain it but I was like clinging to my dad and I was just scared of it for some reason, like it would put into danger or something...I don't if it was the yelling or what but I was just scared and totally freaking out. It was so bad that my parents ended up going to another wal-mart and the whole way, I was nibbling on my Inuyasha plush's ear just to calm myself down. D:

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

I hardly ever made friends because I was always hanging out by the rocks. I would often take them home and collect them and prefer playing on the playground myself.

I think this is the part where i was actually quite lucky. I had a lot of opportunity to make friends before even knowing i was autistic, So it was easier. A lot of pupils at my school, older and younger were quite freindly. It's the teachers that really P***ed me off :P And some of the students. When i was in my second to final year of primary school (or lower school) i was being teased by this older kid about the things i did. this led to me reciting every insult i knew directed at his mother XD which earned me getting tripped up and kicked in the head a few times. Fortunately that was one of the times the teachers actually sided with me :P

EDIT: Yeah i've also heard that Autism is less frequent/harder to diagnose in girls. I have no explanation as to why that could be though, you've beaten me there Kinarii :P

 

[Soul Eater]

I think this is the part where i was actually quite lucky. I had a lot of opportunity to make friends before even knowing i was autistic, So it was easier. A lot of pupils at my school, older and younger were quite freindly. It's the teachers that really P***ed me off :P And some of the students. When i was in my second to final year of primary school (or lower school) i was being teased by this older kid about the things i did. this led to me reciting every insult i knew directed at his mother XD which earned me getting tripped up and kicked in the head a few times. Fortunately that was one of the times the teachers actually sided with me :P

Well, I was always quiet and reserved. I never did any interaction and I usually still don't interact much unless I need to. It's so bad that my parents have to talk for me and my dad has gone to the extreme of getting power of attorney for everything so he can talk for me. It's because when I have to talk on the phone, I end up getting a panic attack and freaking out, when really its no big deal because it's just a phone call.

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

Well, I was always quiet and reserved. I never did any interaction and I usually still don't interact much unless I need to. It's so bad that my parents have to talk for me and my dad has gone to the extreme of getting power of attorney for everything so he can talk for me. It's because when I have to talk on the phone, I end up getting a panic attack and freaking out, when really its no big deal because it's just a phone call.

To add to this, People get frustrated cause they think i make excuses for why i act like this. (I know kinarii mentioned something along these lines a while back), Probably because we are aware of the "unusual" things we do sometimes. I think that might be a reason, anyway :P

And i used to get panic attacks at school during loud parts of pantomimes. That was it though, i just went out the room whenever they came

 

[Amaruuk]

I hardly ever made friends because I was always hanging out by the rocks. I would often take them home and collect them and prefer playing on the playground myself.

Rocks = infinitely better than classmates

When I was growing up, teachers were all I had. The private school I went to from Pre-K through 8th grade had only 70-80 or so people per grade, but not one even cared that I existed. For years I tried so hard to jump in to those little circles they would stand in and chatter on the playground or in the halls. All I can say is that a ghost would have had better luck getting a word in edgewise or even being noticed at all. So I became a teacher's pet because of my love of learning and my epic failure at talking to people my own age.

On another note, I too have the volume issue thing.

 

[Soul Eater]

To add to this, People get frustrated cause they think i make excuses for why i act like this. (I know kinarii mentioned something along these lines a while back), Probably because we are aware of the "unusual" things we do sometimes. I think that might be a reason, anyway :P

And i used to get panic attacks at school during loud parts of pantomimes. That was it though, i just went out the room whenever they came

Yeah, same here. I was at another forum and I had to leave because these people who I thought were my friends, always wondered I didnt act normal and I told them about my disabilities but they went and said, "I think you just have problems and need to get help from a doctor. You don't seem disabled you just seem like some weird reject." and after that I never told anyone online about my disability, at least until now when I came here because people at PC, some people, seem to understand more about it and realize that's not something I can just turn off all the time.

Alot of people still have a hard time understanding that I'm autistic and my obsessions or behaviors will always be there, whether they like it or not. I mean if I could turn off the fact I was autistic that would be a luxury but I can't and that's why people just need to think before acting out and saying I've got problems.

Kinarii: Same here! I was always a ghost to just about everyone. I mean my whole class picked on me and normally you would think two kids but this was like, my entire class! I was always the retard everyone picked on and had felt like I didn't belong. It was hard to make friends because everyone just thought I was more than different, they thought I was some kind of retard or something...

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

I really hate it when people just think it's something that's..adjustable. you can't adjust who you are, just like everybody else, people should be able to understand that people like us have to live with these things. Still, we have the opportunity to share our experiences in this thread like this, which some people can't because they'd have nothing to say! :P

 

[Soul Eater]

I really hate it when people just think it's something that's..adjustable. you can't adjust who you are, just like everybody else, people should be able to understand that people like us have to live with these things. Still, we have the opportunity to share our experiences in this thread like this, which some people can't because they'd have nothing to say! :P

Yeah, I feel good letting it out to fellow autistic people. I mean at least when you talk to other people who share the same boat as you, it makes coping with it easier. I mean it let's you know that there are people out there just like you. :3

Anyway, what do you think about those people who want to cure autism? D: I mean I wouldn't mind if it was out there for those that wanted it but to me, it makes me, being autistic, feel like I have some disease. I'm not diseased I have a disorder and I think instead of venting over not having a cure, people not start realizing that their child just needs love and nourishment. It makes me sick how parents would go through the extra mile of wanting to cure their child for being diseased.

I mean cancer and AIDS are diseases. They need cures because they can kill you in a matter of months. It's sad when someone gets cancer because sometimes, they won't have much time to live and others get lucky and find ways of keeping it in control.

But for Autism, it's not a cancer and it can't kill anyone. It's just there as a developmental disability.

Autism can be cared for by teaching a child how to adapt with special therapy. Some parents seem to freak out because their child is autistic and think its the end of the world, but its not.

I mean, I do know that some people hate being autistic and sure, if there can be an optional cure out there, do it. But let's not abuse it just because a person wants their child cured free. I mean Autism is just like down syndrome or Mental Retardation. It can have its downers but it also has advantages too. It's not like the child is going to grow up as a retard, it just means the child will grow up slower than normal children.

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

Yeah, I feel good letting it out to fellow autistic people. I mean at least when you talk to other people who share the same boat as you, it makes coping with it easier. I mean it let's you know that there are people out there just like you. :3

Anyway, what do you think about those people who want to cure autism? D: I mean I wouldn't mind if it was out there for those that wanted it but to me, it makes me, being autistic, feel like I have some disease. I'm not diseased I have a disorder and I think instead of venting over not having a cure, people not start realizing that their child just needs love and nourishment. It makes me sick how parents would go through the extra mile of wanting to cure their child for being diseased.

I mean cancer and AIDS are diseases. They need cures because they can kill you in a matter of months. It's sad when someone gets cancer because sometimes, they won't have much time to live and others get lucky and find ways of keeping it in control.

But for Autism, it's not a cancer and it can't kill anyone. It's just there as a developmental disability.

Autism can be cared for by teaching a child how to adapt with special therapy. Some parents seem to freak out because their child is autistic and think its the end of the world, but its not.

I mean, I do know that some people hate being autistic and sure, if there can be an optional cure out there, do it. But let's not abuse it just because a person wants their child cured free. I mean Autism is just like down syndrome or Mental Retardation. It can have its downers but it also has advantages too. It's not like the child is going to grow up as a retard, it just means the child will grow up slower than normal children.

And in some cases, Autism can lead to a child having some outstanding abilities, like those kids who can look at a cathedral in France, go back to say, England and draw it PERFECTLY. Bill gates is autistic, and without him, we would probably not be talking about this. Albert Einstein was also presumed to be.. AUTISTIC. :3

I doubt there will ever be a cure for Autism though. It's a developmental disorder on the point of being a personality trait, the lines that make it are so thin and apply in many different contexts. I wouldn't want to be cured anyway :P It's a part of me. And plus, all of the things i've gained from knowing that i'm autistic..It'd seem like a waste now that i was "cured" XD

 

[Soul Eater]

And in some cases, Autism can lead to a child having some outstanding abilities, like those kids who can look at a cathedral in France, go back to say, England and draw it PERFECTLY. Bill gates is autistic, and without him, we would probably not be talking about this. Albert Einstein was also presumed to be.. AUTISTIC. :3

I doubt there will ever be a cure for Autism though. It's a developmental disorder on the point of being a personality trait, the lines that make it are so thin and apply in many different contexts. I wouldn't want to be cured anyway :P It's a part of me. And plus, all of the things i've gained from knowing that i'm autistic..It'd seem like a waste now that i was "cured" XD

Well, just think, if there was a cure for autism. Everyone would just abuse it. I think what parents need is reassurance. Like, if you're going to have a first born child, the doctor needs to warn the parents first hand, I mean at least that way, it will give the parents a way of knowing something about Autism.

The problem with parents is that they are the ones at fault for thinking their child is autistic. I mean there are cases out there where a parent will freak out because their child isn't playing with other children or...because their child has some behavioral issue. Misdiagnosis can happen and sometimes it could just be ADHD. You always get those crackpot doctors that don't know influenza from a bad cold.

I mean they need to really put their foot down and try to make advertisements about Autism, letting people know the warning signs and assuring them that its only a developmental disorder.

You're right, it doesn't need a cure. It just needs to be put out there more than it already is.

In other words, it needs to be exploited more and directed away from needing a cure. I mean walks are okay as long as they aren't directed towards gaining money for cures. I think having walks for Autism makes it easier for us to meet other people who share our concerns, not for us to walk for a cure.

Save all the cure business for something that needs it, like cancer.

I mean hell, nobody even knows what causes autism. If they want a cure so badly, why don't they wait until they find a cause? It makes it easier because if they find an official cause, they can use that cause to warn parents not to do something.

 

[NoBel_ToKYo ™]

Well, just think, if there was a cure for autism. Everyone would just abuse it. I think what parents need is reassurance. Like, if you're going to have a first born child, the doctor needs to warn the parents first hand, I mean at least that way, it will give the parents a way of knowing something about Autism.

The problem with parents is that they are the ones at fault for thinking their child is autistic. I mean there are cases out there where a parent will freak out because their child isn't playing with other children or...because their child has some behavioral issue. Misdiagnosis can happen and sometimes it could just be ADHD. You always get those crackpot doctors that don't know influenza from a bad cold.

I mean they need to really put their foot down and try to make advertisements about Autism, letting people know the warning signs and assuring them that its only a developmental disorder.

You're right, it doesn't need a cure. It just needs to be put out there more than it already is.

In other words, it needs to be exploited more and directed away from needing a cure. I mean walks are okay as long as they aren't directed towards gaining money for cures. I think having walks for Autism makes it easier for us to meet other people who share our concerns, not for us to walk for a cure.

Save all the cure business for something that needs it, like cancer.

I mean hell, nobody even knows what causes autism. If they want a cure so badly, why don't they wait until they find a cause? It makes it easier because if they find an official cause, they can use that cause to warn parents not to do something.

You're absolutely right. ^_^ Why are people trying to find a cure for autism when all we have for a cause is a mere hypothesis? Our disorder just gets into the headlines occasionally, with someone bleating that the MMR vaccine had something to do with autism, which i don't believe. People can be so misunderstanding to the point of amusing and cruel.

I have almost given up on explaining to people what autism is when they ask me what it is..A few years back, I've known two people in two of my classes actually ask the teacher " What is autism?" and the teacher replies with "It's kind of like where your brain works a bit differently." And oh boy, do i get some funny looks then..

Still, it feels great to vent this stuff out. It'd be worth stickying this just for people like us to talk about the problems we have autism wise in a thread that isn't so..open. Not somewhere like the DCC where ANYONE could reply, with any comment, you know what i mean?

 

[star88]

Thats exactly what i was told ^__^ that everyone is on the autistic spectrum SOMEWHERE. It made me feel a lot better :)

glad to cheer you up rival;) if you want to know more you can just pm questions