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Daily Chit-Chat -- Autumn and/or Spring Edition

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They're awesome for their unrealistic-ness :3
 
I asked Chuck Norris to go to the store and buy some meat, and he came back with a whole, live cow, which he was balancing on his little finger. Then, he cut it up into steaks with his bare hands, and grilled them for me... on the grill. (What, you were expecting something else?)
 
Chuck Norris has his own wiki. Unfortunately, it was so full of data it self destructed.

Chuck Norris is your mom.

Chuck Norris decides what you're having for lunch.

Chuck Norris is not a troll. He's just plain God.

Chuck Norris will die. Expect it to be in the 100th century.

Chuck Norris was actually to act the role of Leonaidas in 300, but unfortunately instead of cutting off the messenger's head like in the script, instead he kicked the messenger so hard that the well you see in the movie was not there before.

Chuck Norris doesn't like Yaoi. He likes ChuckYaoi.

Chuck Norris knows what you did in the shower.

Chuck Norris beat Halo Reach in .0005 seconds. How's he do it? He simply said I won. Because Chuck Norris always wins.

Chuck Norris isn't a man. He's a ChuckNorrian.

Donald Trump cannot trump Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris: May or may not be in your closet.
 
Love Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris doesn't push himself up when doing push ups, he pushes the earth away from him.
 
Mine were just as good, and not copied. I made them up on the spot. :<

Chuck Norris has a twin brother, Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, the universe was not big enough for two living Gods so Chuck ate his brother.

OOPS NO FUNNY
 
インフェルノの津波 said:
Mine were just as good, and not copied. I made them up on the spot. :<

Chuck Norris has a twin brother, Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, the universe was not big enough for two living Gods so Chuck ate his brother.

OOPS NO FUNNY
Click to expand...

They were also good but that one was just my favourite because of the burning mental image ._. It could be completely valid if his urine was so acidic that it burns rocklike substances. Hahah!
 
Yeah? Man, your jokes, they make me...

laugh. THAT'S RIGHT, I AVOIDED A JOKE. :D
 
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

Why would anybody sell sea shells? I bet she barely makes any money!
 
I know, right? At least if you sell sea shells, do it at a place people can't just walk a metre or two and pick one...
 
Peter picked a pifijow fpighpahg raopjgrueap jrajvf asphgaihnuaw;ipgnuhra;ghaugna;oiegnaujs.

Yeah, I was never very good with those.
 
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