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Disciplining Children

Throat said:
*I think it's harder to think clearly in pain
**Yes, he'll know how to avoid being spanked again
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He might think skewed, but eventually he'll get it.

And if he knows how to not get spanked again, he knows something's wrong with what he did. It goes hand-in-hand.
 
Yusshin said:
Sure it would. It would tell you where to spank, how hard, how much, and under what circumstances. How wouldn't that work lol
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Because, AGAIN, the people writing that book would probaby have different presuppositions on what 'how hard' 'how much' and 'under what circumstances' means.

Here, I'll give examples to illustrate my point.

Person A: "Spanking is a way of asserting power over our children and frightening them into never doing something wrong again and, in turn, fearing the parents. We should teach children what they do wrong through methods like time-out or taking away a certain priveledge instead of punishing them through physical violence, ignoring them, or withdrawing your love."

Person B: "A child who is not spanked does not understand the meaning of respect. Spare the rod spoil the child. Children must be physically made to submit to the will of the parent or they will not learn"

Person C: "My parents never laid a hand on me and I've never been in serious trouble nor has anyone else in my family. I've been punished sure and I've not enjoyed being punished but I've never feared my parents. I respect them and in return, they give me freedoms that I have earned with this respect."

Person D: "We spank our children with a light smack for each year of their life in instances where all other methods of parenting fail because we believe it has grounding and works for a worst case scenario. We would never leave a mark and we would never strike in anger"

Now, the two groups above posted that would agree to spanking in the home have two different ways of looking at corporal punishment in the home. One believes it should be used only as a last resort, the other believes it should be used for almost everything. The methodology used is different in both cases as well.

There is no one way to agree on how/when/why/should you spank because each person's individual family dynamics and culture is different. It sucks to ban it for everyone but it's really the only way to make sure people quit abusing the system imo.
Yusshin said:
That is what's causing it. Not spanking. Europe has an issue with the above as well, but it isn't as bad as in the home country :|

And lots of places in Europe permit spanking, according to your link up there. You were talking to the people who obviously didn't experience it, or obviously didn't realize it's allowed in 1/2 of Europe, Canada, and the US. It's an acceptable form of punishment as long as you don't go too far.
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Again, 'acceptable' does not mean 'the same way I experienced it'.

Another example of what I mean by this:

The methodolgy you described your parents using as a child had you mentioned it at the camp I worked at [a very right winged religious church camp that is not against corporal punishment] I would've had to report your parents to the proper authorities for an investigation because of the way it was preformed because, according to the laws in my state, your parents crossed a line by removing articles of clothing. In other states [Alabama I know for sure has no rule against this, other states might as well but AL is the only one I know off the top of my head] such things aren't a big deal at all and no charges would be filed/no complaint would be investigated.

It greatly differs from area to area as far as what's acceptable and what's not. It depends on the culture of the area, the context of who lives in what neighborhood, the income of that neighborhood and the activeness of parents in the lives of the children in those neighborhoods; all of these things determine whether or not spanking is accepted and to what extent it's supported. In some highly urbanized areas, the idea of what's expected and what's not can differ within each individual neighborhood

A private school in my local neighboorhood encourages parents to spank their children.

A public school reports all spanking cases to the Department of Human Services.

They cannot agree.

This is not a case where you can agree to disagree.

[If you want to look at crime rate differences look at the percentage of incarcerated youth in the US compared to other countries. Enough said.]
 
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.
Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.
 
Mm.. I don't think we can find any common ground xD

I just know how I'm going to discipline my kiddos, and I find it's the best way. Verbal warnings + take stuff away for all offences; the most serious ones would lead to spankings. Meanwhile, after the age of eight or nine, I'll start grounding them.

That's how I'm going to do it in any case.
 
Chibi-chan said:
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.

Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.
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I'm well aware of that but there are other factors that prevent incarcerated as well. I believe the study you're reffering to also mentions that parents who are simply more active in their children's lives are also those parents who are not parents of the incarcerated?

I think there are more defining factors than if a child was spanked or not when it comes to a child who enters a life of crime. :o

Edit: I did mention in a previous post of exceptions to my personal dislike of spanking. I just view that in American culture, there's no way to find a middle ground and too many people are abusing the spanking defense because there's no standard definition that people can agree on.
 
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Chibi-chan said:
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.
Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.
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That's quite vague. I don't doubt your argument is right, but those cases of kids who were raised without being spanked probably were raised with no care over their character.
 
Yusshin said:
Mm.. I don't think we can find any common ground xD

I just know how I'm going to discipline my kiddos, and I find it's the best way. Verbal warnings + take stuff away for all offences; the most serious ones would lead to spankings. Meanwhile, after the age of eight or nine, I'll start grounding them.

That's how I'm going to do it in any case.
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I've never been grounded; sending your kid to their room just gives them too many possibilities, especially if you live in your room. Taking away toys doesn't work either.

I'm hopefully not going to spank them....I was spanked when I was a child, and it got the message across, but I really don't see myself doing it to my kids. ):

I'm well aware of that but there are other factors that prevent incarcerated as well. I believe the study you're reffering to also mentions that parents who are simply more active in their children's lives are also those parents who are not parents of the incarcerated?

I also know of children who are incarcerated who were punished. :x
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Your experience =/= statistics. If you seriously want to see the facts, I suggest looking them up instead of each of you arguing on your own experiences.

Edit: I did mention in a previous post of exceptions to my personal dislike of spanking. I just view that in American culture, there's no way to find a middle ground and too many people are abusing the spanking defense because there's no standard definition that people can agree on.
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Do you have any idea what they do in Asia?
 
I, for one, am totally against hitting children simply to discipline them. I know from painful experience what it can make go through a young child's mind. It teaches violence. Ironic, seeing as how your trying to make them more "civilized" shall we put it. I don't despise parents who do it (how could I? My parents are two of them), but I would certainly love it if they found other ways of discipline. Take the kids game instead of smacking them in the face, for crying out loud.


When I grow up, I vow to never hit my children, despite the circumstances. I don't want them growing up the way I did. I know saying it and doing it are two different things, but I think I can hold to my words.
 
Chibi-chan said:
Your experience =/= statistics. If you seriously want to see the facts, I suggest looking them up instead of each of you arguing on your own experiences.
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The problem with statistics in a pool like this, imo, is the pool they pull from. I don't think there's been a study yet that's accurately pulled information from each little 'sect' of corporal punishment.

Regardless, unless my child goes running for the street or grabs a hot pan, I won't even consider spanking my children. It may take longer, in my opinion, to work out a disciplinary kink but I think in the end it will be worth it.
 
Bloodex said:
Eh, I usually got the face. But smacking the buttocks ends up with the same results: violence... and pain. >_<
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Not exactly. The face is violent, but on the buttocks isn't. A child isn't going to go around smacking people's butts to beat them, if they do become violent. They'll go for the face. That's much more aggressive.

Though spanking the buttocks won't lead to violence :| Everyone I know was spanked, except for that one spoiled brat who's just terrible. Besides her, everyone else I know is fine, and passive. Funny how the only one who wasn't spanked is the bad, bishy one.
 
Mika said:


It sucks to ban it for everyone but it's really the only way to make sure people quit abusing the system imo.
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Thank goodness your opinion isn't absolute!

That's no different from banning a particular video game or movie because minors decided to sneak and play or see it.

The method a parent chooses to punish their child is up to them and a number of factors. I have learned that those who are strongly against spanking were abused themselves and are highly sensitive individuals. That's unfortunate but two extremes need a middle ground.

The majority DO NOT abuse the system. To outlaw the entire "system" would be entirely irrational because of a few.
 
Bloodex said:
Eh, I usually got the face. But smacking the buttocks ends up with the same results: violence... and pain. >_<
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I would never hurt a child in the face! Slapping a child just seems impulsive out of anger. Saying "don't make me get the belt" is much more disciplinary which gives them time to consider, 'do I really want to do this?'

Spankings =/= Abuse. I find it insulting to someone who's been abused to compare the two :|
 
Yusshin said:


Not exactly. The face is violent, but on the buttocks isn't. A child isn't going to go around smacking people's butts to beat them, if they do become violent. They'll go for the face. That's much more aggressive.

Though spanking the buttocks won't lead to violence :| Everyone I know was spanked, except for that one spoiled brat who's just terrible. Besides her, everyone else I know is fine, and passive. Funny how the only one who wasn't spanked is the bad, bishy one.
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I see what your getting at, but spanking the buttocks is a form of violence, despite the low severity of it. I guess it's only me who see's it the way I am. I mean, I understand why parents would spank kids, but I just don't like it.


I always got smacked in the face, so I might reply with biased answers, sorry. =(
 
Brolywrath said:
Thank goodness your opinion isn't absolute!

That's no different from banning a particular video game or movie because minors decided to sneak and play or see it.

The method a parent chooses to punish their child is up to them and a number of factors. I have learned that those who are strongly against spanking were abused themselves and are highly sensitive individuals. That's unfortunate but two extremes need a middle ground.

The majority DO NOT abuse the system. To outlaw the entire "system" would be entirely irrational because of a few.
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But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen. "Spanking" should never be designed to hurt the child, but in all too many cases that's exactly what it's used for.
 
Fox♠ said:
But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen. "Spanking" should never be designed to hurt the child, but in all too many cases that's exactly what it's used for.
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I agree with this; sometimes it was just better to cry when you get spanked than to say nothing, cause then a parent would make it hurt until you cried. Basically, they're looking to make you wish you regret you did what you did. That's the fundamental purpose behind spankings, is it not?
 
Chibi-chan said:
I would never hurt a child in the face! Slapping a child just seems impulsive out of anger. Saying "don't make me get the belt" is much more disciplinary which gives them time to consider, 'do I really want to do this?'

Spankings =/= Abuse. I find it insulting to someone who's been abused to compare the two :|
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Okay, but kids do pick of from what there parents say. Saying things like that teaches them things like that. And they might use it on there kids, and so on. It's pretty much threatening, is it not?
 
Bloodex said:
Okay, but kids do pick of from what there parents say. Saying things like that teaches them things like that. And they might use it on there kids, and so on. It's pretty much threatening, is it not?
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I've never told anyone at school I was going to go take my belt off and beat them :|
That's a bit ridiculous. But yeah, I probably will threaten my children with that. It worked for me.
 
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