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Yes - and to prove Hanako's point I will demonstrate.

There was a book called Half Moon Investigations (I doubt any of you have read it because it was only published in Ireland, where I am) and it was told in first person prospective. Now, the main character was evil and he had an absolutely amazing plan - but the problem was that you knew what was going to happen from page one because it is his prospective.

If it had been third person - well, the book would've been selling more than the Da Vinci Code.
 
so, still looking for some general theme advice which doesn't involve syntax or some other literature-restricted devices. Anybody?

Glajummy, I use the Japanese terms for all thing Digimon. So I say "evolution", you say "digivolution". It gets confusing, doesn't it.

you think that's confusing? Try getting into the whole "Perfect/Ultimate/Mega" thing? Or how about Anomalocarimon's name change (if only Bandai of America knew there'd be a true Scorpiomon years later)? Though really, and I may just be saying this seeing as I tend to favor the original versions of things, it's for the best that fans get accustomed to the Japanese Digimon names. Aside from not being too hard to memorize (most of them use English words anyway), or even to research in the first place (whole online encyclopedias featuring them are in abundance... and unlike Pokemon, where people like myself are a rarity and can only hope the forums we visit are generous enough to provide a name list to stop complaints, the majority of the online Digimon fandom seems to use the original names without a second thought), Bandai of America is just too damn inconsistent with names for their own good (Saban/Disney might also be to blame, assuming Bandai didn't look over the anime dub).

BTW, I've been meaning to bring up this up earlier: in that NaNo sample you provided, Destiny Stones were called "Holy Stones" in the original.

Ahh...I wouldn't know about the evolutions since I'm still at early season one. I only got myself into actually watching the show about a week ago since our national dub traumatized me deeply (I think its horror is best explained by the simple fact that it's a dubbed version of the American dub. That's right: the crappy dub of a crappy dub.) and just totally killed my interest in the show until I watched my first fansubbed anime and realized just how huge that difference is. YouTube's war on fansubs isn't exactly helping matters either; it's so hard to find subbed episodes and veoh is drawing a blank too. >_< So yeah, I'm still in the stage of enjoying the characters while waiting for the plot to start making sense. xD

I'm a big fan of the original myself... it particularly disappoints me how Saban ditched the music, because that soundtrack's pretty damn good (actually, I still hold it to be among the best I've seen in anime... though, this may be bias speaking, as Digimon Tamers was the very first anime I've watched wholly in Japanese, and much like you, Alter Ego, I too was in awe over the difference in music from Saban's dub of the first two seasons... similarly, I felt the same way when I saw Sailor Moon S's English dub prior to that). However, after the whole fiasco with 4kids (which finally seems to be dieing now that they've lost Pokemon and blew their chances with One Piece), I've gained newfound respect for the Digimon dub (as well as DiC's Sailor Moon and various other previously "bad" dubs.... except Nelvana. Cardcaptors is arguably near as bad as One Piece). Seriously, looking back, the Digimon dub approaches a level of quality, both as an English adaption and a stand-alone show, that you'd never dream of 4kids accomplishing.

A good majority of the dialog's changed and they punched up jokes constantly (especially earlier on), and a few names were changed almost needlessly... but on the plus-side, they actually acknowledge that the characters are Japanese, and make almost no attempts to cover up Japanese writing as a result (and if they do, it's usually for the purpose of actually translating something important rather than leaving background material blank, like Vademon's signs, or some of those e-mails in 02... though, I think the characters read them out loud, which kinda offsets that, unfortunately). A few snips were made to tone down the violence, yet a good bit of it was also left intact (the shot of Beelzemon stabbing right through Leomon, anyone?), and they even acknowledged death several times. Finally, while I tend to despise music changes in general, 4kids has taught me that such an act can at least be tolerable (or at least a lot more-so than what they did). In Saban's case, the stuff was actually orchestrated, and fit the situations somewhat. My only complaint now, aside from the first two seasons sounding too much like the soundtrack to that mid-90s Spider-Man cartoon (sheesh Saban, recycling your music much?), is that the stuff friggin' pales in comparison to the original music (except for Savers.... while a select few catchy pieces will be missed in the current dub, I've never been too big on Savers's soundtrack... speaking of Savers, I'd like to point out that they're now using the original sound effects in that series. Finally, dub-viewers can experience all of those cliche, yet nifty, anime effects in Digimon ^^). The voices were decent as well (though quite a few seemed out-of-character from the Japanese version), featuring a ton of big-name actors in dubbing (including Steven Blume... and NOT using the Spike voice at that), as well as some actual variety (IOW they don't use the same 10- actors for a billion roles)... though, I guess the English voices would probably be irrelevant to someone who watched a foreign version. ^^'

So, yeah... their dub could've been better, but considering it's a made-for-TV dub centered towards kids/tweens, it's pretty decent overall, especially for the time period it was first released (their merging of the first three movies sucked balls, though... I'll make no attempt to defend that trash). Would be nice if they'd released the subs on DVD... sadly, Digimon doesn't seem to be getting so much as a dub-only DVD release (hell, practically every show that's been dubbed by Saban/Disney seems to be lacking DVDs... a bit of a shame, because with all the 80s/early 90s nostalgia going around, a Samurai Pizza Cats collection would no-doubt sell).

Oh, Alter Ego, I hope that you're not talking about the Finnish dub of Digimon. That was scary, especially Takeru's 01 voice. The lack of emotions...!

Alter Ego said the dub was based off the American dub (much like how everyone except some Asian countries had to dub off of 4kids's version of Pokemon, and probably TAJ's version as well). I'm familiar with the Finnish clips you speak of, and they used the original music (and possibly the original script... I don't know crap about European languages outside of English, but I tend to make this assumption with some foreign Digimon dubs because they keep silence when there's supposed to be silence, as opposed to making jokes constantly when the characters are off-screen... that, and usually the presence of the aforementioned original music alone is a good indication of faithfulness to the source material), so it couldn't be that one.
 
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Lessee... *scratches "Season Champs" off of list* Now who needs a review next..?

Why would you do that? You never properly reviewed my fic. Anyway, the finished version of Chapter 4 is up!
 
xD. It's okay Lord not everybody is a kick-ass reviewer leik Hanako, and ACC-M and Alter Ego...btw I'm about to send you a very important PM.
 
See, Yamato-san? This is why we need you around. Because you keep opening our eyes to different things, helping us with what you know.

*makes note* I kind of figured that that wasn't the original name, but my knowledge mainly comes from the dub. Aside from an online encyclopedia that uses the Japanese names, I'm limited on what I know about the original. Again, you remind me about what research I still need to do. Hopefully I can get the information I need.

Why would you do that? You never properly reviewed my fic. Anyway, the finished version of Chapter 4 is up!
Scythemaster, why would you post the unfinished version of your chapter? o.O It makes me assume that you're writing in the reply box, which I figure that you are not doing. It's also just really kind of strange.
 
About the Half Moon Investigations ... that by Eoin Coilfer? I thought for sure all of his books were published in the US of A, too. *shruggs*

If you want a good example of third person limited and first person, I'd suggest reading The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud. It's a fun, good read, and the POVs he chooses for the book he uses in an excellent fashion. He really manages to bring out the pros of first person especially. You can feel the wry humor oozing from Bartimaeus POV chapters.
 
Guys - I would review your fics... Except (like fanfic writing) I'm hopeless at it.

You're not hopeless at it. You just need to realize that reviewing is more of an exercise in objectivity. If you think something sucks, you don't say "it lacks originality" or "what the Hell is with ______." You say, "I think there might be a problem with ______ because ______. It might be better if you _______ instead" or "I thought it was good/okay/average/not the best I've ever read, but there's room for improvement."

Likewise, if you're going to review, you need to explain your every judgment as thoroughly as possible so the author can see why you're bringing up those points. To just say "I did/didn't like this part" isn't enough because the author can't get anything from that sort of review except "Okay, so that part doesn't work, but I don't know why because I wrote it." You, as the reviewer, are serving as the extra pair of eyes for the author -- the person who can look at their work with as little bias as possible in order to point out what does and doesn't work for their writing. For that reason (and because the author will, nine times out of ten, have a personal bias that causes them to be unable to see their work the way the audience does), you need to explain to the author your judgments in order to help them fully understand their story from the audience's point of view.

Once you understand that part, you'll be able to improve as a reviewer because you're no longer reviewing for the sake of ripping apart a story/belittling the author or for the sake of pumping up the ego of an author you happen to like. You're working as someone who genuinely wants to help the author achieve more with their writing than they have in the past.

('Course, studying up on different styles of fanfiction and elements of writing in general helps too, but that just comes with experience and reading a broad spectrum of fic. I'd also recommend finding a fiction-only community -- of which there are several on LiveJournal -- where you can read essays by experienced writers to get a handle on the do's and don'ts of the literary and fanlit worlds. The Fanfiction Glossary can give you a quick idea of some of the inner workings of fanfiction and the bigger don'ts, such as Mary Sues, whereas The Pitfalls of Fanfiction has mostly don't but also the occasional intelligent essay... if not link to intelligent essay.)

So, I hope that gives you an idea as to where to go from here. A lot of the experience of reviewing tends to be "you just grow into it," but just keep in mind that you're really not here to insult the author.
 
Yeah - I read the Bartimeus Trilogy and they're probably some of my favorite books. They're first person and third person depending on the chapters.

I thought Eoin Colfer's books (except for Artemis Fowl) were only published in Ireland... Guess I was wrong.

edit: Ok, Jax, I'll keep that in mind.
 
See, Yamato-san? This is why we need you around. Because you keep opening our eyes to different things, helping us with what you know.

*makes note* I kind of figured that that wasn't the original name, but my knowledge mainly comes from the dub. Aside from an online encyclopedia that uses the Japanese names, I'm limited on what I know about the original. Again, you remind me about what research I still need to do. Hopefully I can get the information I need.


Scythemaster, why would you post the unfinished version of your chapter? o.O It makes me assume that you're writing in the reply box, which I figure that you are not doing. It's also just really kind of strange.

xD. I was in the middle of writing it, but then my dad told me to get off, so I decided to give yall a lil' preview.
 
Anyways, I'm looking for an uneducated opinion on something: you see, I've hit a bit of a dilemma with my fic-that-is-still-very-much-in-the-works. My original intention was to narrate the story from the single, third person limited viewpoint of my main protagonist, but as I've finally started to get some more shape to my plot, I've realized that if I stick to narrating solely by the original plan, a lot of the motives behind the actions of another central character would be obscured. So, given that this is my first ever shot at fanfiction, I'm asking: would a split-perspective narrative between the two be too ambitious? On one hand, I think it would add to the depth of my other character, but on the other I'm afraid that splitting viewpoints may throw readers off. >_< I took a shot at narrating some events from the secondary character's point of view and found that I'm pretty much equally confident writing for either, so there are no problems on that account.

So...any opinions? I know that you don't know what the characters in question are like, so it wouldn't exactly be an informed decision, but I'd still appreciate some advice. At least on what problems I'd be facing in going for a dual perspective if nothing else. :3

Well, like Hanako said--it depends on how much you want the reader to know about the second character's motives. If you don't want them to know much, then sticking to one PoV would be more beneficial. If it doesn't matter, or you do want them to know, then splitting PoVs would be a good idea.

Mostly it just seems like you lack confidence in splitting PoVs because it's your first fanfic. :P Personally, I think you should go for it... but then, I'm biased. XD When I first started writing, I never thought much about PoVs, so I started out writing in third person and just changed character PoVs when I needed to--even in the middle of a scene, sometimes. Now it's something I still do--it's just that I actually understand what I'm doing, so in that sense you've got one up on me, because you'll be going into the writing able to understand what won't work and why.

On the other hand, maybe it'll help if you don't think about the PoV, as such, and just write the story to see how the characters want it to go. Start in third person limited, and if another character wants to take the spotlight, let them and see where it goes. And if you need to tell stuff that only one character can tell, then switch to them for the scene or chapter or however long it takes, and go back to the main characters afterward.

^.^;;; Yeah. Sorry, that was really badly explained.
 
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Twins

Get this! I was reading a book a couple of minutes ago that I bought last week. It's about two twins in first person view but it is both the twins!
Don't understand me? I didn't expect you to...

Jamie, look at this!
Robert, I don't have time.
No, Jamie, seriously.

It keeps going on like that, it's like a conversation for two hundred and sixty eight pages...
 
You can do that. You just have to lead into it and make it painstakingly clear that there are only two people talking.

However, if the person kept writing

Jamie blah blah blah
Robert blah blah blah
Jamie blah blah blah
Robert blah blah blah

then that would get tedious. The reader should be able to tell who's talking without the writer inserting the name every time.
 
Alter Ego said the dub was based off the American dub (much like how everyone except some Asian countries had to dub off of 4kids's version of Pokemon, and probably TAJ's version as well). I'm familiar with the Finnish clips you speak of, and they used the original music (and possibly the original script... I don't know crap about European languages outside of English, but I tend to make this assumption with some foreign Digimon dubs because they keep silence when there's supposed to be silence, as opposed to making jokes constantly when the characters are off-screen... that, and usually the presence of the aforementioned original music alone is a good indication of faithfulness to the source material), so it couldn't be that one.

o.o

Really? Dang, if my old anime-know-it-all friend hadn't moved to the other side of the country, I'd so rub this in his face. He was adamant that they used the 4kids dub as base, and given the quality of the dialog I felt inclined to believe him on this point. Thanks for correcting that misconception. ^.^ Regardless of source, if the fansubs I've seen are any indication, the Finnish dubbers have botched the job almost as bad as their American counterparts. Not only is their articulation horrible (with absolutely zero emotion), but they make every character speak in precisely the same way. (It's an annoying, half-informal style that makes my skin crawl and makes all the characters sound like idiots >.<) Screw the speech patterns; we've got a license. xP I mean, their use of language is so infantile that a lot of the content will be lost with the nuances. To take an example from the pokémon dub which has annoyingly etched itself into my mind:

"Yksin on varmaan kovin yksinäistä matkustaa."

which basically translates into:

"Traveling alone must be very lonesome."

...

Yes, why don't you take a moment to let the entire meaninglessness of that sentence sink in. This is the sort of thing they do all the time. >_< And no, they can't keep their hands off the occasional pun either. They're not as frequent as in the American version, but they're there. -.- They also couldn't pronounce the names to save their lives, though I'll give them credit for not "translating" them to Finnish least.

But...you say the American dub gets a bit better later on? I'll give it a shot, then, even though the puns and the pointless name changes (Yamato = Matt. WTF? And that's not even getting into the terminology tangle) make me groan.

And I do agree about the soundtrack. The original music is so much better than that stuff they stuck in there with the dub, but I guess it wasn't punny enough for their tastes. xP


Anyways, before I go completely off topic...Hanako, purple_drake, thanks for the advice. Given how vague my question was, I'm surprised how well I got to know what I needed to know. Misconceptions are a recurring feature of my fic, so I definitely don't want to smack my reader over the head with the answers, but at the same time I don't want them to become so obscure that they don't open up to anyone but myself. Hmm...I think I'll try a split-solution by writing from both characters' PoVs but only relating the inner world of my main (so the other will be followed camera-style). That should give me enough room to drop hints for attentive readers to puzzle through without spoiling the surprise for the rest. And yeah, my problem may well be first-fic anxiety (sort of silly given that I've really written fiction in RP format for over a year now, but there you go), if my chosen style turns out too difficult for me to handle then I'll just pull out the stops and see where that will take me. I have a tendency to save multiple versions of the same chapter anyway and there's always rewriting. :3 Thanks again, I really did need some outside opinions on this. ^.^

And...whoa, I had no idea that there was this much writing on reviewing. xD I've never read a guide on reviewing in my life, actually, I've just always had this thing for lit. analysis (The only exam in my finals that I got a perfect score on, though my teacher insisted that I'd have gotten near-perfect on the other paper if the examiner in charge of that hadn't been feeling rabid and downmarked every paper he got his hands on. x3) and just worked the rest out from seeing how other reviewers did it. The only thing I can really say on that subject, aside from what Jax already covered, is that you should always remember to acknowledge the good points of the fic you're reviewing, not just the bad. I mean, it probably sounds sort of weird coming from me (the reviewer who nearly always gives criticism-heavy reviews), but there's usually always something praiseworthy (or at least better than the rest of it) in a fic, and pointing such things out tends to do a world of good for the writer's motivation to tackle the bad points. Like with criticism, you should motivate your praise too, though. Also, try to make sure that what you say is more than just an echo of reviewers who have preceded you; make the review your take on the fic, not a series of backpats for, or - worse yet - a cheap copy of what others have already written.

Beyond that, it's just a matter of practice. I felt that my early reviews sucked too, you just have to learn from what you do and try again. ^^

Oh, and Lord94, I'll take a look at your fic after I've caught up with some RPs I'm horribly behind on. Wouldn't be nice to keep that evaluator title just for show. Scythe-kun, I'll look at yours too, but I can't give any definite deadline for the review at the moment. ^^
 
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Actually, I can kinda see how they got "Matt" out of Yamato, if you stress the imagination. Mato = Matt. In Japanese Katakana, the katakanaized name 'Matt' would be quite similar. Yamato-san can correct me if I'm wrong, (xD) but I'm guessing Matt would be something along the lines of マット or マーット。Whereas, Yamato (in katakana) would be ヤマト。

Off-topic, I suppose, but so sue me. XD
 
Snakehead

Has anyone got the nex Anthony Horowitz novel; Snakehead?

It mentions terrorists, people trafficking and other stuff like that - I'm surprised it was allowed to be published. The worst part is that it's for kids, seeing as it's an Alex Rider book.

I liked the book myself and everything but there'll be younger children who will read this and come face to face with the darker and grittier side of life.

So along with Darren Shan's 'Demonata' series I think they should've put a warning on this book.

What about you guys?

As for yamato = matt.

In the book Evil Star a boy named Matt has to go to Peru and he gets a new name: Mattoe

Yamato = Mattoe = Matt

Just thought I'd throw that into the mix.
 
Well, also remember that there's such a thing as a prolific author. Just because an author writes children's books doesn't mean all of his books are for children. For example, E.A. Poe is best known for his psychological thrillers, but he was also the father of the detective story. Hence, just because he wrote psychological thrillers doesn't mean that all of his work is in that genre.

And anyway, they're going to learn about it eventually, given how often it's reported in the news, so as long as there's really no graphic violence and/or sex, there's nothing that would stop it from being published. *shrug*

Likewise, the Matteo thing might be a different story. We're talking about Digimon here, so naming conventions for it aren't the same as in that book.
 
One: Alex Rider is strictly a kids' book.

Two: I wasn't trying for a naming convention, that was just the only link I could find between the two names.
 
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