Fanfiction Lounge

[Incinermyn]

Dang! Has it really been that long since I last posted here last? And, I just now remembered to check back. It looks like I confused a few people with that rushed post I did before. Sorry about that… But, I'm actually unsure about my entire plot now, not just the part with the Pokémon that all of a sudden maliciously attacks the main character and his team in this kind of 'dream world'… I was wondering if I could get a few opinions on my idea before I repost it.

Feral Twilight (to be rated PG-13)

Ronac-an expansive region located due west of Sinnoh-has always had a rich and fairly unique history that extends to times well before the Great Migrations from her sister land over a thousand years ago. From times when the tribal peoples, the Dallinos that inhabited the woodlands of the mainland's east and the Meradai that inhabited the wastelands of the west, there has been a legend that has been passed down from father to son and mother to daughter that speaks of another world. The world where all memories and dreams have form… Nostalgia…

Since The Beginning, Nostalgia has existed, forever to be influenced by the events that shaped universe and the world. For eons, it had been a peaceful realm in which all found solace as there was in this existence. However, at the moment the Original One had granted Man the 'blessings' of will, emotion, and intellect, no sooner did humans also learn the evil of lust. And, his greed and desires quickly develop into rage that spurred Man's true savagery. Through savagery towards his fellows, mankind soon learned the weakness that terror wrought. Thus, the magnitude of his misery wrenched Nostalgia into something equally heinous, if not more so, and a monster was born.

Confined to World of Nostalgia, the beast is believed not to be able to enter this world, yet it does make itself known. Those whose memories of lust and greed, of fury and savagery, and of fear and pain are the strongest draw the monster to them, to serve it in the ways it needs. One in particular had sworn allegiance to the Beast of Nostalgia…a creature whose life has been nothing but pain, Canersia the Ascetic.

When the Great Migrations occurred, this legend was all but lost except for those few descendents who chose to keep the tradition alive. However, many now just treat it as an olden tale that was conjured for entertainment. And, none more so than Felicia Barnes.

The young biology grad student at the prestigious International Institute of Pokémon Science was working late one night with her mentor to try and complete research on the project she had based her thesis on. When they were about to leave, though, something went horribly wrong and Felicia came face to face with one of the most powerful Pokémon to ever exist, almost loosing her life during the encounter…

Times change, but people never do…or do they? In the twenty years that passed, the woman is as strict as she's ever been. That's what Jay Christie thinks when Felicia sends for him one day.

Former league champion of the region, Jay (or Feral as he was called) has always known Felicia to be one of the most uptight Pokémon biologists in the world. From time to time, his mother's friend would pull some strings for Jay to give him somewhat of an edge on other trainers. However, it usually meant that he had to go through some kind of excruciating task for her beforehand. This time would probably end up being no different.

A few days earlier, Felicia sent an e-mail to Jay asking him to meet her for some unknown reason at the school she now runs. Having lost his title to his younger sister, Jay asked Felicia to do some research on how to get one of his Pokémon that was KO'd during that match to evolve into something far more powerful, and thinks that this may be why she asked him to meet with her. Little does he know that it's actually about something completely different, and may end up drawing Jay into an ever-deepening conspiracy involving the region's most nefarious terrorist organization, shadow Pokémon with strength unparalleled by even those of Cipher, and what is perhaps the most relentless Pokémon of all time on a quest to discover the truth behind what happened twenty years ago and something that could shake the very way humans perceive the world forever.

________________________________________________________________________

Okay… Not sure if it's the most original idea for a fanfic (then again, what really is?), but I was wondering how it sounds to others though? I've got it up on a couple other places already, but there are only like two or three people reading it total…

 

[IceDragon2439]

Australia doesn't have any Applebees... leastways not where I live.

WOW!!! There's three in the city I live in, lol. And my city isn't that large O_O

 

[bobandbill]

WOW!!! There's three in the city I live in, lol. And my city isn't that large O_O

...there's Applebees in Blackthorn? :P
I don't live in a city, but not that far off from Sydney, and where I live isn't exactly quiet either. :)
Skunter - I swear, you need to poke me to remind me to catch up to your fic, really. I get busy and forget half the time. *waits to get poked*

 

[Golden Riolu]

X.X Just tried to log in under my other username... I really need to remember which name I use for which forum.

Concerning Pokémon that can talk, akin to the Gastly of Madien's Peak and Team Rocket's Meowth (and disregarding telepathy usage) are "Talking Pokémon" usually considered cliché, even if there's maybe one in the entire piece of work and they may have a good reason to even attempt human speech in the first place?

I know the question's already been answered, but I may as well add my two cents to it.

In my opinion, which accounts for not very much at all but I'll give it anyway, talking Pokemon have one foot in being a cliche. But there are often stories where trainers can understand every Pokemon they see, whether or not they're speaking English, and that's more of a cliche. I steer clear of this sort of stuff (for the most part...).

Since my fic is narrated by Pokemon, I translate what they're saying so the readers can understand and can get as much info about what's going on as the narrators know. The main human characters can understand some Pokemon - only some - when they speak in telepathy. This ability is given only to Pokemon with strength of mind; some Psychic types, like Ralts and Kirlia, and only one Riolu, since Lucario could speak telepathically in the eighth movie. The Riolu in question is the only one in the entire fic able to do this, and has also shown some other unusual abilities, but that's beside the point.

Pokemon would only be able to speak a human language if: a) they lived near humans, such as in or just outside a city or town; b) they regularly travelled among these humans - just living there and hiding wouldn't help them learn English, and; c) if they made an effort to learn. In the anime Meowth was shown hiding in the roof of a building and practicing speaking (if my memory is corrent, anyway; it's been a long time). Since in my fic, Rarutos lived near humans but was never directly among them until she was captured, she can only communicate with her trainer via telepathy, and she never learned to read.

My goodness... I think I gave out a minor spoiler in the first part of this post and I just noticed it. XD

I don't live in a city, but not that far off from Sydney, and where I live isn't exactly quiet either

Wow, I thought you lived further away from me than that. You learn something new every day.

~Golden

 

[IceDragon2439]

...there's Applebees in Blackthorn? :P

Hah, I forgot that I didn't actually have where I lived up here. I'm from Suffolk, VA. Land-wise, we are the largest city in Virginia but population-wise, no where near -_-. We are pretty much forgotten about.

 

[Incinermyn]

To bobandbill: I've never really been the assertive type, that's why I haven't been trying to really make you feel obliged to read my fic on Bulbagarden. But, still, maybe I should be a little more... Or, perhaps not, since it'd probably backfire...

Anyways, regarding the stuff about Applebees (assuming I'm interpretting this right), it really doesn't matter if you have it in Blackthorn City or not. Personally, when it comes to just general fiction writing, stuff is assumably based on where the author is from. Example: being from Wisconsin, it's easy to assume that I'd base stuff off of where I live, which I do to some extent. Lactavarn City in Ronac is supposed to be home to most of the region's dairy farms, kind of like what you'd see quite a few of the communities in the state.

Though, when it comes to chain restaurants in particular, the closest Applebees, or even McDonalds, is about thirty miles away.

 

[IceDragon2439]

Anyways, regarding the stuff about Applebees (assuming I'm interpretting this right), it really doesn't matter if you have it in Blackthorn City or not. Personally, when it comes to just general fiction writing, stuff is assumably based on where the author is from. Example: being from Wisconsin, it's easy to assume that I'd base stuff off of where I live, which I do to some extent. Lactavarn City in Ronac is supposed to be home to most of the region's dairy farms, kind of like what you'd see quite a few of the communities in the state.

Mosty, i was just telling him that it was odd that he didn't have one near him when I have three in my city. And he saw that my location was Blackthorn City and was joking with me =). I was just explaining that no one really knows about Suffolk (where I actually live) and it is somewhat forgotten when Virginia is mentioned. But I thought it was funny =)

Though, when it comes to chain restaurants in particular, the closest Applebees, or even McDonalds, is about thirty miles away.

Wow, I'm not use to not being around an Applebees, hehe.

 

[txteclipse]

Oof. All this talk about human/pokemon conversation cliches is worrying me. A lot of my characters communicate through telepathy, both pokemon and human, with even more on the way. Most of the connections are supported by the canon (only one is not but it has at least somewhat of an okay explanation), but I may be straying from canon soon.

The problem is that about half of my main characters are highly intelligent pokemon: it's not a human-driven story with pokemon servants. I therefore need to be able to show their emotions and reactions at a deeper level than expressions and body language. I still have pokemon that can't communicate telepathically, granted, but that doesn't comfort me much.

So should I continue with the telepathy thing as long as I have viable explanations, but with the fear of being cliched, or should I try to have the pokemon communicate non-verbally at the possible expense of the depth of the relationships involved?

 

[Blue Angel]

Oof. All this talk about human/pokemon conversation cliches is worrying me. A lot of my characters communicate through telepathy, both pokemon and human, with even more on the way. Most of the connections are supported by the canon (only one is not but it has at least somewhat of an okay explanation), but I may be straying from canon soon.

The problem is that about half of my main characters are highly intelligent pokemon: it's not a human-driven story with pokemon servants. I therefore need to be able to show their emotions and reactions at a deeper level than expressions and body language. I still have pokemon that can't communicate telepathically, granted, but that doesn't comfort me much.

So should I continue with the telepathy thing as long as I have viable explanations, but with the fear of being cliched, or should I try to have the pokemon communicate non-verbally at the possible expense of the depth of the relationships involved?

I like the idea of telepathy. Like Jirachi, in the movie, could speak - and I'm betting it was telepathy. So it would make perfect sense for Psychic Pokemon. [LOL - Just got inspired for my story! Thanks!]

Of course, I am no expert with writing. I would hold out for someone else's opinion too ^ ^

 

[Bay]

txtclipse, I think what you got is fine. Since in anime and game canon those legendaries are intelligent, it's reasonable. And as for that other Pokemon that doesn't use telepathy in canon, I think as long as there's an explination, it's all good.

Crud, this month's prompt is not leather. =O

 

[Blue Angel]

LOL!
Leather...

So which one is this months?

"Freedom" or "Battle?"
I got confused by both being up their

Yeah, I mean bobandbill uses telepathy in his Retelling of Pokemon Colleseum through his Espeon, and uses his psychic abilites for other things in the story.

 

[txteclipse]

It's not psychic pokemon I'm worried about necessarily...that makes perfect sense for them. What I'm more concerned about is the Houndoom, Umbreon, and unnamed human that also have telepathic abilities.

The unnamed human I'm the least worried about of the three. There's plenty of psychic humans in both the games and anime. Houndoom falls in second: he had his mind permanently linked with Kairn (one of my main characters) by Latias. This is iffy. It's conceivable, yes, but iffy. I tried to limit it by having Houndoom communicate primarily using scents and mental images.

Last is Umbreon. My explanation for this pokemon's abilities is that it evolved just as the sun rose: because of this, it has a bit of Espeon in it and is therefore slightly psychic. I feel this is my weakest explanation, and I may scrap it altogether, but it would be tough to go without.

I guess the best I could ask for is if any of you are put off by these descriptions. If you cringe at one, let me know.

 

[Negrek]

The unnamed human I'm the least worried about of the three. There's plenty of psychic humans in both the games and anime. Houndoom falls in second: he had his mind permanently linked with Kairn (one of my main characters) by Latias. This is iffy. It's conceivable, yes, but iffy. I tried to limit it by having Houndoom communicate primarily using scents and mental images.

Last is Umbreon. My explanation for this pokemon's abilities is that it evolved just as the sun rose: because of this, it has a bit of Espeon in it and is therefore slightly psychic. I feel this is my weakest explanation, and I may scrap it altogether, but it would be tough to go without.

Yeah, I gotta cringe at those, given that the dark-type is pretty antithetical to all things psychic. I think you ought to challenge yourself and try making your pokémon fully-fledged characters without resorting to the crutch of precisely translated speech. Think about it--if there's a person who speaks a totally different language than you, where you can't even understand a word of what they're saying, can't you still get an idea of their personality rather quickly by interacting with them, even on the level of charades? Imagine, then, if you'd been around that person for months, or maybe even years. At that point you'd have developed quite an intimate understanding of them, I think. Probably you'd even have started to create your own language in order to speak to one another. Obviously the reader won't be riding with the pokémon for such a long period of time, but the trainer would probably know the pokémon that well (if they sought interaction with it regularly), and their impression of that pokémon's character is there to aid you in defining it for the reader.

Straight-up telepathy or speech is easy, but sometimes what is easy is not what is best.

 

[Bay]

"Freedom" or "Battle?"
I got confused by both being up their

This month's prompt is battle. :D

Hm, I might try this one idea I had for a while, but the thing is I'm busy with NE and my one shot for Serebii's Sci-Fi/Fantansy one shot contest. ^^;

 

[bobandbill]

Wow, I thought you lived further away from me than that. You learn something new every day.

Interesting... so where do you live? 'Without Max' doesn't ting any bells for me... and my real name isn't Max ;)
Contray to popular belief, despite my username I'm really just one person. *mock gasps from audience*

To bobandbill: I've never really been the assertive type, that's why I haven't been trying to really make you feel obliged to read my fic on Bulbagarden. But, still, maybe I should be a little more... Or, perhaps not, since it'd probably backfire...

Oh, come on! You know you want to wander up, internet-poke me, and say 'hurrah up and r&r!'. Do it ! Dooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt!
Just so you know, I have been closet reading some of it. :)

Yeah, I mean bobandbill uses telepathy in his Retelling of Pokemon Colleseum through his Espeon, and uses his psychic abilites for other things in the story.

Shush! Don't give any hints away! ;)
Indeed, I do. I also have an Umbreon BTW in my fic, and Wes can understand him fairly well becuase he's been his Pokemon for quiet a long while. He understands more the basic gist of what Pokemon that are not Espeon but he knows well are saying, one could say I suppose. But for recently-aquired ones he can only guess by how they say whatever they are saying the 'gist' of what it is they are saying.
And that propler doesn't make much sense on the first time reading, does it? Oh well.

The unnamed human I'm the least worried about of the three. There's plenty of psychic humans in both the games and anime. Houndoom falls in second: he had his mind permanently linked with Kairn (one of my main characters) by Latias. This is iffy. It's conceivable, yes, but iffy. I tried to limit it by having Houndoom communicate primarily using scents and mental images.

Last is Umbreon. My explanation for this pokemon's abilities is that it evolved just as the sun rose: because of this, it has a bit of Espeon in it and is therefore slightly psychic. I feel this is my weakest explanation, and I may scrap it altogether, but it would be tough to go without.

I'm with Negrek - those seem rather... odd and helpfully coincidental. Too coincidental...
Why not simply have it that as they know each other well (assuming that they do), that they can understand themselves to *insert level of understanding here*? More believeable, and simpler too.

 

[Astinus]

So which one is this months?

"Freedom" or "Battle?"
I got confused by both being up their

Here's a hint: The prompt for the month is posted in the month it's for. So August's prompt? That's posted in the month of August. Since I was gone for a few days, I just posted it yesterday.

"Freedom" was July's prompt, which was why it was posted on the first day of July.

 

[Buoysel]

It's not psychic pokemon I'm worried about necessarily...that makes perfect sense for them. What I'm more concerned about is the Houndoom, Umbreon, and unnamed human that also have telepathic abilities.

The unnamed human I'm the least worried about of the three. There's plenty of psychic humans in both the games and anime. Houndoom falls in second: he had his mind permanently linked with Kairn (one of my main characters) by Latias. This is iffy. It's conceivable, yes, but iffy. I tried to limit it by having Houndoom communicate primarily using scents and mental images.

Last is Umbreon. My explanation for this pokemon's abilities is that it evolved just as the sun rose: because of this, it has a bit of Espeon in it and is therefore slightly psychic. I feel this is my weakest explanation, and I may scrap it altogether, but it would be tough to go without.

I guess the best I could ask for is if any of you are put off by these descriptions. If you cringe at one, let me know.

I think that you are doing okay with houndoom, and the explanation about umbreon would work say if it elvovled just as light was appearing on the horizon, but make it look different also. for instance have a part of it be pinkish or looking like a hybrid, since that is what it is, make it look like a mistake, something that should have never been, because that is what it is.

 

[Golden Riolu]

Interesting... so where do you live? 'Without Max' doesn't ting any bells for me... and my real name isn't Max

XD Very funny. Max is someone I used to know, or should have known. As for where I live, I can't say exactly where, but find your own location on a map and then look down. A fair way down. Yes, it's a long way away, but I thought you lived around the Gold Coast.

I'll be further away soon enough. America is calling...

This month's prompt is 'Battle'? Now that I can work with...I've had this idea for a while, I just need to figure out how to make it work without seeming too much like something I read a year ago.

~Golden

 

[Blue Angel]

Here's a hint: The prompt for the month is posted in the month it's for. So August's prompt? That's posted in the month of August. Since I was gone for a few days, I just posted it yesterday.

"Freedom" was July's prompt, which was why it was posted on the first day of July.

I feel slightly patronized ... :p

Sorry, when I read it, I read July 30, 2008 - but it must have been my eyes playing tricks on me again. My minds been doing that lately.

Like every single morning I wake up at 6:30 against my will, and there isn't much I can do - Any advice?

 

[IceDragon2439]

Like every single morning I wake up at 6:30 against my will, and there isn't much I can do - Any advice?

You could wake me up, since it would be 9:30 on the east coast =)