Mira
restless spirit
- 1,748
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- i iz ina mufin
- Seen Mar 31, 2013
Thanks for reading it :D Now I know what I need to fix, add, think about and what I left out and such...
To answer some of your questions:
I've never read Star Wars nor watched the movies, though maybe I should...
The Power is pretty much the deity of their world. It gives people a power (all elemental except for Healing) and give the Light Faerie a fraction of each Power, labeling them as king/queen. If you don't have Power, you're hated because they blame you for not being "worthy" and/or being a part of the Power's damage. (the Light Faerie was considered to be directly linked to the Power and many believed that when it was killed the Power was damaged, but it was actually that combined with the making of the Dark Faerie)
I haven't really worked on him that much because it was so long ago when that story actually happened (it doesn't happen in any of the books). Much isn't known about him because they didn't know what it was he was doing nor did they know where the missing Faeries had gone until after he was killed. Though for my own sanity, I should probably add to it at least in my own mind :P and I'll put it on as well.
Also, Thin Bloods aren't directly sent to factories. They go to a separate school (seeing as they can't be trained as Faeries), but they find it hard to get a job since there are few jobs that Faeries wouldn't just take themselves. Usually they end up in factories because they can't find work, and there are few opportunities to find a new job once they have taken one in a factory for a Thin Blood. Oftentimes their parents will take them in again after they have finished schooling which gives them more time to find work, but some of the more proud families (typically Fire) won't. Also, in the second book a Thin Blood was granted acreage, something that had been unheard of for a long time...
She's relatively close in relation to the current Light Faerie (not close enough to have been invited to live in the palace) and her mother is a Healing Faerie while her father is a Fire, which usually makes them of slightly higher stature.
It was safe for her to be told these "dark secrets" (I need a thesaurus :P) because the current Mind Faerie would know if someone was eavesdropping... It's a part of her Power as well as the fact that they talk in her study in the library, and very few students ever go to the library (nyeh, computers).
As for the names, they are pretty much fillers. I'll put in new ones most likely as they come, but so far nothing better has come along.
Thanks for reviewing! It's helped me to start developing it more considerably :D and I'll make the required changes to my summary as well.
To answer some of your questions:
*blinks*It's not the Power, either; although I think you should define it somehow, I also think this Power-thingy can be a great thing, also. You know, at some points there, I thought Power is much like the Force in Star Wars, and at other times it sounded more like the Power is the government of their kingdom, telling what happens and who's the king and so on. You should tell more about it. What is it, anyway? I, for one, really want to know.
I've never read Star Wars nor watched the movies, though maybe I should...
The Power is pretty much the deity of their world. It gives people a power (all elemental except for Healing) and give the Light Faerie a fraction of each Power, labeling them as king/queen. If you don't have Power, you're hated because they blame you for not being "worthy" and/or being a part of the Power's damage. (the Light Faerie was considered to be directly linked to the Power and many believed that when it was killed the Power was damaged, but it was actually that combined with the making of the Dark Faerie)
Oh, sorry. I have to re-title that section "world/history."The thing that bothers me is that your bad guy seems to be the bad guy for the sole reason of being bad. Sure, he's envious, who wouldn't be at least a bit? I know you might have this all thought trough, but by that explanation, it doesn't seem like he has an adequate motive to start slaughtering people and becoming a dark power of some sort. If he really doesn't have one, you should think it trough one more time. If he does, I'd very much like to hear about your brainwork. I just dislike it a lot when bad guys are bad just because, well, they are. For example, Cob from The Tales of Earthsea becomes a bad guy because he's seriously afraid of dying.
I haven't really worked on him that much because it was so long ago when that story actually happened (it doesn't happen in any of the books). Much isn't known about him because they didn't know what it was he was doing nor did they know where the missing Faeries had gone until after he was killed. Though for my own sanity, I should probably add to it at least in my own mind :P and I'll put it on as well.
Also, Thin Bloods aren't directly sent to factories. They go to a separate school (seeing as they can't be trained as Faeries), but they find it hard to get a job since there are few jobs that Faeries wouldn't just take themselves. Usually they end up in factories because they can't find work, and there are few opportunities to find a new job once they have taken one in a factory for a Thin Blood. Oftentimes their parents will take them in again after they have finished schooling which gives them more time to find work, but some of the more proud families (typically Fire) won't. Also, in the second book a Thin Blood was granted acreage, something that had been unheard of for a long time...
She finds all of it out because the Mind Faerie tells her. Yes, I know that sounds odd, but that's how it works (only one is born every generation for both Mind and Light, so that's how it has to be). Also, people already knew about Dark Faeries, but what they didn't know is the way in which they were made and that the making of them could have been what caused the Thinning, not simply the murder of the Light Faerie. The Mind/Light Faerie is trained as soon as they're found to be one. You know how she was found? She blew up the machine that was testing her ^.^How come she finds out about all that stuff? After all, she's fifteen and only recently got her wings, too. Have you concidered making her a tad older, perhaps? Or could she be from an important family? I don't think dark secrets are often told in places that are easy to evesdrop or anything. Other than that, this sounds pretty credible and good, depending on how you write it. If you do it well, it should be great. If you don't well, then, it's not going to be good. I have no reason to believe you'd fail!
She's relatively close in relation to the current Light Faerie (not close enough to have been invited to live in the palace) and her mother is a Healing Faerie while her father is a Fire, which usually makes them of slightly higher stature.
It was safe for her to be told these "dark secrets" (I need a thesaurus :P) because the current Mind Faerie would know if someone was eavesdropping... It's a part of her Power as well as the fact that they talk in her study in the library, and very few students ever go to the library (nyeh, computers).
As for the names, they are pretty much fillers. I'll put in new ones most likely as they come, but so far nothing better has come along.
Thanks for reviewing! It's helped me to start developing it more considerably :D and I'll make the required changes to my summary as well.
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