I ain't seen a problem yet, can't be solved by kickin' ass

How heavy-handed are you?

  • I'm basically a pacifist

    Votes: 3 23.1%

  • That entirely depends. . .

    Votes: 10 76.9%

  • KICKIN' ASS!!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    13

Crux

Evermore
    • 1,300
    Posts
    12
    Years
    Spoiler:


    How heavy-handed are you? Do you think everything can be solved by 'kickin' ass'? Or do you tend to take a more. . . Gentle approach?
     
    Usually I don't care enough and people pick up on that so it never escalates. It's not unheard of for me to get into a screaming match with someone who has disrespected me.

    I did have to punch a homeless guy in the face the other day at work. I just got there and I was in my car smoking my cigarette when this guy comes up:

    Guy: Hey bro you got any change?
    Me: Sorry, I don't carry any cash.
    Guy: Come on..I need money for bus fair.
    Me: I really never carry cash, I'm sorry.
    Guy: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY COME ON!
    Me: Okay.
    Guy: Can I have that cigarette?
    Me: No.
    Guy: Come on! Let me get a hit of that. *starts reaching for the cigarette, grabs my wrist and tries to pry it out*
    Me: Look dude if you don't back up I will get out of my car and kick your butt[/censor].
    (Guy continues to laugh and grabs my cigarette, scratching me)

    Then I pushed him out of the way with my car door, got out, he got in my face, so I punched him in the face and kicked him.

    I don't look tough, but if you come at me I will fight back and trust me, I know how to fight.

    Fun fact: He would always come into our store and harass our customers for change and he hasn't been in there since.
     
    Because I am autistic, I tend to solve problems my way. But that sometimes causes problems and others do not realize it. "Kicking ass" sounds like not a good way to solve them, maybe just ignoring it.
     
    I am pretty much a pacifist. I would never support, much less even try to justify a large scale conflict for any reason at all, but I understand that if someone is being a threat to you or others, something must be done about it.
    Granted that the world rarely goes according to one's wishes, I would never resort to violence to make my point; given the choice, I'd rather discuss the matter in a diplomatic way, and if even that fails, I'd still prefer a verbal assault over an actual fight. This, because it is my opinion that getting into a fight with someone would lower me to their level, which would hurt my ego more than an actual fist to the face. That, and the fact that I think my pretty face is just too precious for me to risk losing it to a petty fight.
    Even so, I would really like to frequent a martial arts course in the future, just to be on the safe side.
     
    I'm not a pacifist by any means, but I don't think violence solves any problems. It just instills fear in whoever the violence is for. Its effective to get something you want done quickly. If you want someone to stop doing something and they aren't responding to your pleads a punch to the head is usually the easiest solution, but it isn't a problem solver by any means. If you remove the fear, the behavior will still be there. And in cases of parenting in particular, if your child isn't behaving one way or another based on fear of his or her parent, then that's a problem.
     
    CarcharOdin said:
    If violence isn't solving the problem, you're simply not using enough of it.
    Click to expand...

    LOL. I found that comment hilarious, but I'm more on the gentle approach side though. I'd never resort to violence to settle something; I'd much rather use verbal abuse if it ever comes down to it, which has never happened thus far. People probably have this assumption that I'll be extremely scary when angered since I'm normally a mellow, quiet person that minds her own business. So that probably intimidates them. Either that or I have an extremely high tolerance for taking other peoples' BS.
     
    I'm sure it's not this way for everyone, but for me, violence isn't really worth it. Not when the opposing party is against me personally, anyway. If people try to belittle me, hurt me, or whatever in any way, I usually try to find other solutions to the problem. Verbal assault, reporting it, or running like hell being just a few examples. I could never be taunted into a fight because, frankly, I know I'm a coward and I'm proud of it. The risk of getting myself physically hurt is more important to me than others' opinions, words, and actions, because I'm a pretty self-centered individual for the most part.

    Now, when someone's messing with the people I care about, it becomes a different issue altogether. I'm not trying to sound all chivalrous and crap, but seriously; you got a problem with me, fine, but don't get others involved into the mess. Cowardly as I am, I tend to get really mad when my friends are in trouble, and my rationality is replaced with a fist or two.

    For me, it's a matter of a 'better solution' than violence instead of an opposition to violence. I frown upon those who get into needless fights and hurt others for no good reason, however if there really was no alternative or if I understand how they feel, I would agree with their decision.
     
    I always go the most peaceful way to solve a problem. If I need to, I can do a little butt-kicking. However, violence can be a lose-lose situation.
     
    I think people who rely on violence to solve problems have problems of their own they need to work out. The only time I'd ever attack someone with the intention of hurting them is if I'm being attacked; I'm a defensive fighter. Words suffice more than enough to solve a problem, and if people are too belligerent to solve problems with words, then they aren't worth the problem itself.
     
    I'm so much of a pacifist, that if I was in school, I would let myself get destroyed just so I wouldn't get in trouble. Even if I was outside of a place that I could get in trouble for fighting in, I'd likely just try to walk away or block the punches with my arms, I'm that bad. I probably could damage someone somewhat, but it's just not how I like to live my life.
     
    I do have violent impulses, and express myself in... a more forceful manner around people I am comfortable with. I have a boyfriend who is basically immune to even my strongest efforts I throw at him, so it lets me get those out nicely.

    To be honest though, I'm more likely to deck you if I really like you than if you're doing something I dislike. That's how I express my affection rather than disdain. So I don't solve problems through violence. But then again, I've never been in a situation where it is necessary. Most of my more intense problems are solved by yelling at people, crying, and having shouting matches until we both calm down and apologize. If I get too angry, I might throw something, but not at the person because I have a lot of restraint about actually hurting people. Conflicts don't usually get that intense though. I typically just try to talk things out because that's what I'm better at.

    I am sure there are situations where violence is necessary though, so I'm not really a pacifist. For instance, I tend to react almost instantly if somebody hits me and feel a huge urge to hurt them back. Defending myself from an attacking is one likely scenario I'd resort to it, though I do try to resist myself if it isn't really a threat. It's just something I'd rather avoid because I don't like to see others get hurt, first of all. Secondly, through sheer force alone, I'd be the one who would get beaten to a bloody pulp rather than them. Basically, I'd get my own ass kicked moreso than kick the ass due to physical weakness.
     
    Imagine this, someone is causing a problem with you, but the catch is he/she is on the other side of the world. So then what? You can't use any physical violence to solve your problem in a situation like this.
     
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