it's been seven hours and fifteen days

is there a loss you haven't been able to work past yet?
 
probably the loss of my grandma on my dad's side. She had liver failure and was on hospice care at the late part of her life. She got really down one day so we all went to visit her and she passed as we were gathered around. It was nice to have closure I guess but watching someone die is hard to move past tbh.
 
My sanity

But really, I don't think I'll be ever over the deaths of my grandparents. They were always there as a kid, I love them dearly.
To know I'll never see them again, it's too much.
 
Losing my grandfather was by far the most difficult thing to overcome. It still pains me to this date, even if it was well over a decade ago.
 
there was this girl i ended up developing intense feelings for way back throughout my catholic, repressed high school days. she was my best friend. of course, i didn't say or do anything for for 4 years because she affirmed constantly that she was straight, and senior year she had a boyfriend she seemed to really vibe with. we were very close physically and emotionally, and people teased us in school about us being girlfriends. she seemed irritated at those jokes.

we fell out of touch after high school graduation, because we had a tumultuous, codependent relationship that was very intimate but also a bit toxic. i cut her out slowly, but she made no real efforts to connect back.

last summer, we decided to reconnect to see what had happened in our first years at college.
she discovered that she was gay. i was absolutely floored. for years, i had dreamed for this to happen, and there i was, sitting across from her attempting to understand all that happened in high school.

on a drunken night with a bunch of high school buddies, she unexpectedly ended up being at the kickback, despite her not liking parties nor alcohol. i was enjoying myself and smashed. she cuddled me all night, and drove me home because i definitely couldn't drive my own car back.

she walked me to my door and i told her everything i felt. i then immediately walked into my house, leaving her outside, and fell asleep. the next morning, i got a text that acknowledged what had happened, and harshly rejected what i had done. harshly rejected me.

we're no longer friends. we're not anything anymore. yesterday, i saw that one of my best friends commented on her post on FB, which popped up on my news feed, and my heart hurt. i thought i was over her, but i suppose not all is that easy.

it's been 5 months. i still feel like there was something deeper all those years back in high school. no friend holds hands with interlocking fingers, cuddles one another at sleepovers, cries on each other, and hugs from behind. i don't think it was friendliness nor coincidence. but i'll never get answers and can only think about it for the rest of the time we don't speak (which may be for a long time). i'm still mourning a lost potential love but also a best friend.

other girls that i date just don't seem to give me the same feeling. being gay is hard.
 
No and I feel very fortunate in this aspect. I recover pretty quickly in relationships, to be honest they've only gotten easier to let go of. I've only experienced a few deaths but they didn't last with me. I think when my dog dies I'll be pretty torn up. Also when my dad dies and if my brother dies before me.
 
I lost my grandfather in 2014 because of cancer, and I don't know if I got over it because the most important objects and details that remind me of him could still make me cry and feel bad.
I also had a breakdown last year while my mom was pregnant because my new brother will never be able to meet him and vice-versa.

I loved him not just because he was my grandfather, but also because he was a tech fan just like me: he introduced me to tech while I was just a kid and he made me fell in love with it.
I went to the cemetery just once not because I don't care, but because it's so painful for me to read his name on a gravestone and I can't handle it too well so yeah... I greatly miss him.
 
no, not really. at least not yet and not ever (i hope). no offense. it's just i've heard loss is very hard and difficult to deal with and i already go through a lot in life so a death on top of that would be agonizingly hard to deal with. my mom's boyfriend (my parents are divorced) died about 3 or 4 years back though, and..it was hard for me at first. it's especially hard for my mom, which i understand. they knew each other for about 5 years before decided to date after my mom and dad got divorced and stuff but.

yeah. his death was hard for me, esp bc i considered him more of a dad than my own birth dad. (complicated relationship, don't wanna go into it) but..yeah. i'm okay with it now. i've accepted it happened. i just feel bad for my mom for having to deal with this. it's still difficult for her, even now. she has her good days and bad days of course, understandably.
 
My 3DS.

You think I'm being cute, but coming from a guy whose 3DS was half his entire entertainment capital... Stop me from slitting the wrists, please.
 
I've lost 2 loved ones in the last 4 months, a woman who was like a mother figure to me for a few years and my Stepdad's Dad aka My Grandpa Hoff, he just passed away a few days ago... I handle death pretty well. Until I see the body, then I just have this weird sinking feeling and for some reason I get think about Lavender Town lol. But, I it is a part of life, and I respect that.
 
Correct me if this is the 'wrong' kind of loss, but it's been a year since contact with a really good and important friend of mine faltered. However, it was not until last January, my birthday, that we definitely cut off our friendship. She basically let it bleed to death and wasn't planning on telling me why until I asked her. It's a loss that both angers and upsets me. Anger because I expected me to be worth of at least an "I'm sorry but I don't want to be friends anymore", instead of a slowbleed like this. I've been at a very bad place mentally last Autumn because of this and I blame her for considering my feelings in this. Upset because I still haven't been able to compensate for the loss of such a close friend ever since. I've been having a lot of loneliness issues because of her; not only did I lose a close friend, but also my most important friend group at that moment. It feels like a big gaping hole that she's left that I can't seem to fill. I definitely miss her, but despite that I don't ever want to reconcile, for the sole reason that she's left me to suffer like this. Given the opportunity, I would punch her. Hard.

My 3DS.

You think I'm being cute, but coming from a guy whose 3DS was half his entire entertainment capital... Stop me from slitting the wrists, please.
Yo I get you. My mom broke my DS when I was 12 and it's still a midly traumatic experience. At that moment it also was my everything. Only last year I was able to get over it a bit.
 
not really a 'loss' as such and nowhere near as serious as some of the other posts in this thread but ? both of my closest friends leaving college. while i respect that it was what was best for them and their future, i now spend about 95% of my time in school by myself and rarely have anyone to talk to afterwards. they're both preoccupied with videogames and part-time work and i have my studies so it's hard to find time to talk anymore. i guess i kind of consider that a loss in some way, because college feels so much more empty without them.
 
I can't really get over the loss of what little self-confidence and independence I had back in 2013, before I was forced out of my job and into the general time-wasting misery that has become my life. I can't really accept that there are some things I will never be able to do now because of my health, and I'm not sure how to rebuild a life for myself when everyone around me and life in general seems intent on tearing it down. I think I know how Eeyore must feel every time his pitiful house of sticks gets demolished by something or someone. Sure, it's funny for everyone else, but...eh. I guess as long as it's funny for everyone else.
 
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