Joking

[PokéMew1]

Let me elaborate.
Do you guys think it is okay to joke about serious topics such as depression, suicide, or other things that people actually struggle with? I won't lie, I've been caught laughing at stuff like this, and am even guilty of joking about it myself, whether I realize it or not. Some people think that joking about it won't harm those going through that stuff, others think just the opposite. What are your thoughts?

 

[Her]

Well, there's a difference between laughing at and laughing with. It doesn't necessarily mean mocking. Secondly, mocking can be, well, pretty damn hilarious sometimes. Putting a blanket statement over the subject or dividing it into a dichotomy doesn't help at all. I guess it's all about where you as an individual draw the line and whether you feel it should be encouraged or tolerated.

When I feel like it, I'm pretty lax about my issues with mental health and suicidal behaviour and what not. Sometimes I just have to joke about it and laugh about the subjects, I'm not that serious a person. More importantly, I'll go a bit crazy/crazier if I don't get some release. It's fun - people who can relate go along with it and have a laugh as well, people who don't relate or are more serious about the matter tend to feel uncomfortable or go into 'saviour mode', which tends to be a whole new source of joy for me. Just because I feel like dying nearly constantly doesn't mean I can't have some shits 'n' giggles! That's just how I am.
Of course, I have to be in the mood for all this. Sometimes I'm not, sometimes I don't feel like making a mockery out of such an issue. But that's called variation.

Is mockery dehumanising? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Like with most things, I believe on evaluating this on a case by case basis. We just have to be careful about our criticisms and try be vigilant in educating those who are clearly using the harsh struggles of others for a quick profit, whether it financial or social. Blanket statements and knee-jerk reactions don't help at all and no one learns anything.

I think the bigger question is when it comes to public figures and the like. I think one's position has to be considered when talking about what is essentially a form of social censorship. I sure as hell wouldn't tolerate a politician making light of suicide, for example. A high school principal would fall under that same umbrella as well. In general, I'd expect higher of someone whose job it is to serve others and look out for them. Not that most politicians do that, but I'll leave my cynicism out of this. The point is that a person in a chosen role of leadership needs to hold their public face higher than others.
Entertainers, however, I don't really care. Case by case basis. People can be as morally righteous or indifferent as they want to be. These entertainers have the right to free speech, but not the right of freedom from consequences. Refer to the infamous Michael Richards incident - his career was absolutely destroyed after using racial slurs and was subsequently crucified in the court of public opinion. He saw it as comedy, the public did not.

Ultimately, whether it is 'okay' comes down to what a person thinks on an individual level and what they'd expect from others. If a significant amount of people consider your actions or opinions to be cruel, then perhaps consider what is being said and whether your right to a cheap laugh is worth it.

 

[Somewhere_]

It really depends on the time and place. The context is very important because some jokes are inappropriate sometimes, but appropriate at others. Consideration of the person or persons the joke is being told too is also very important.

 

[Exodrake]

I think you should make sure the person you are joking with is comfortable with the subject of the joke. Even among people who have dealt with these issues, some may be made very uncomfortable by the subject being trivialized, while others may find it therapeutic to help them deal with the issue, by devaluing something that doesn't deserve to hold control over them.

Ultimately I think it depends on context. Politically incorrect humor can work as long as it tells the jokes ironically, but this is easy to mess up and requires finesse to pull off correctly.

 

[Centipede Chan]

It's really iffy for me on what and how. I will never joke about rape, and other things similar to that but for things like "typical" suicidal talk, natural disasters, celebrity/historic deaths, are kinda open range for me.

But to be clear, I will not mock a person who is feeling suicidal. Or someone who is the average Joe with someone who died recently. I guess an example should be shown:

My type of joke "*Keeps dying in an area/level at the same spot in a video game* welp better jump off a bridge."
Not ok for me: "I am not doing so great and life isn't worth it." "Oh lol emo loser"

 

[Elysieum]

I believe wholeheartedly that humour is an important bridge to valuable discussion, regardless of whether the timing is good enough or not. If a joke causes some discomfort, it means there is some discourse to be had.

I remember the late comic Joan Rivers talking about this. She was probably the first stand-up comic who incorporated the subject of abortion in her comedy routine in the 1980's. After performing that bit for the first time on television she was warned with the threat of losing her job, and her (male) agent advised that "women shouldn't talk about these things". You can imagine, of course, how badly it was received.

But her response was, "You are so wrong. This is exactly what women should be talking about."

 

[Psychic]

In theory, I am all for any subject being up for joking. That said, I agree that 1) context and timing matter, and 2) the joke has to actually be funny and/or intelligent.

So that doesn't mean I think it's always okay to make any kind of joke you want whenever you want, or that the way the joke is crafted doesn't matter. Those factors specifically affect whether or not a joke is acceptable in that situation. I think there are rape jokes that are completely fine, and ones that are grossly inappropriate and have no benefit. Whether a joke is punching up VS punching down makes a huge difference, here. It should be looked at on a case-by-case scenario.

I'm a huge fan of stand-up comedy, and I truly believe that humour is valuable in that it lets us talk about and process some challenging and sensitive subjects. Humour can be used to oppress and uphold the status quo, but it can also give people a voice and uplift us. It just has to be used properly.

~Psychic

 

[Crystal Berry]

I think that it's generally okay to joke however you want with some obvious exceptions (because y'know, freedom and all that), but in your best interest you should be aware that there are consequences for your actions.

If you tell an awful unfunny offensive joke you shouldn't be surprised if someone gets mad at you, and you shouldn't be surprised if you end up risking your job. Some people also use "joking" as an excuse to say terrible things too.

All in all it really depends on timing and who you're with. I'm not the type of person who gets offended by jokes easily, but if your sense of humor is really that bad I will conclude that you're not the type of person I'd want to spend a lot of time with. Be aware of your surroundings.

 

[Fannie]

When I feel like it, I'm pretty lax about my issues with mental health and suicidal behaviour and what not. Sometimes I just have to joke about it and laugh about the subjects, I'm not that serious a person. More importantly, I'll go a bit crazy/crazier if I don't get some release.

I used to find it hard to take a joke about mental health problems. It's a very draining way to approach to life and it made it a challenge for people to truly connect with me. Plus, I find learning to laugh is a good way to combat some issues associated with mental health.

 

[Gabri]

I have a pretty dark sense of humor, so yup. Mainly because I think that one of the ways to cope with stuff and help deal with bad events is to laugh at them.

However, one should differentiate humor from an outright insult.

 

[Satanael]

To put it simply: I laugh at racist jokes, but I am very harshly against racism. I know that the intent of the statement is to make people laugh, not to racially divide. Different people are going to react differently based on their own past experiences, you can't be prepared for everyone's individual point of view.

 

[Caaethil]

Yes. It's 100% okay. Yes, of course, it depends on the context and blah blah, but that applies to any joke. Most jokes are pretty terrible at a funeral, you know? So it's not really an important point in my opinion.

I think it depends more on the joke than the people. Both matter, but somebody getting offended doesn't always put you in the wrong. Sometimes being sensitive is your fault, and if you're so extremely sensitive I can't even be close to myself around you, then I'm either going to leave or hurt your feelings, because it's probably your problem.

 

[Melody]

No.

It's not right to joke about sensitive topics ever. That doesn't mean that it isn't forgivable. But I think it's best policy not to do so unless you're in a casual setting and you actually know those listening to you, and what their sensibilities are.

However, if you are in unfamiliar company, you should be at least aware of topics that are sensitive and approach them with respect. Failure to do so will cost you in trust and respect later; especially for first impressions, which are hard to undo.

Of course using your judgement and reading the audience is important. It helps if you plan a joke and have the sensibilities of your audience in mind. Choosing an insensitive joke is always going to rub off poorly on you the same way being *ist or *phobic is going to. It's a no-go to people who have half a mind.

With that in mind, sometimes joking about things amongst your peers is important for bonding. Don't miss out on that; but remember that Friends Don't Let Friends be Dicks. Don't let your bonding with someone be at the expense of others. These are cheap and often quick to bite you back when you become the one that people bond with others with at your expense. There are plenty of ways one can establish one's self, or just have a laugh, without actually needing to exploit others' weaknesses.

I am aware that sometimes that groups of friends do jab each other and such. This isn't terrible, but it isn't often great either. It strains relationships and friendships in the long haul, so people should really stop doing that or do so very sparingly...you know when it does matter.

 

[Caaethil]

No.

It's not right to joke about sensitive topics ever.

So it's not right for a person to make fun of their own situation to alleviate the distress? Because that's a coping mechanism for a lot of people. Make jokes about it and invite others to do the same.

 

[SushiFeelings]

Depends on the context and audience most of the time, but I think jokes should be allowed to make fun of any topic. Jokes shouldn't be censored or limited at all. Growing up all my friends and family usually do is joke about each other and throw 'jabs', even if someone did go overboard they would just apologize and move on.