~Make A Wish and have it horribly corrupted ~

[Starlight]

Here you go... 5 cents USD. Don't spend it all at once!

I wish for another season of a TV show I like that was cancelled before its time.

 

[Mercurybro]

Granted, but the T.V. show is voiced and subtitled in a language you do not understand, and the quality is in black and white.

I wish I had a larger aquarium.

 

[Roni]

granted, but it only works if you use Mountain Dew on it.

i wish my back didn't hurt whenever i bent down to pick something up.

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, everything else does.

I wish I could get a good night's sleep

 

[Roni]

granted, but it's night time everywhere at some point thanks to timezones, so you're now sleepy every moment of your life.

i wish everyone had a bidet in their home.

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, now there's a world wide water shortage. Hope that clean bottom was worth it

I wish cleaning was as easy as the snap of the fingers

 

[Roni]

granted, but you break a finger each time you try to snap now.

i wish i could sleep 8 hours worth in just 10 minutes of real time.

 

[Starlight]

Granted, but in the post covid apocalypse, that will only be the equivalent of 7 minutes now ;)

I wish for some pumpkin spice cheesecake to appear in my fridge

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted, go look. Go on. I know you're curious. It's there. It should be right behind the milk...

I wish for a new car

 

[Zeostar]

Granted but the engine is entirely missing.

I wish for the infinity gauntlet

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, there are no infinity stones attached to it.

I wish I could time travel

 

[Starlight]

Granted but you lose your ability mid jump and get lost in the nothingness for all eternity, not aging and unable to die, just existing...

I wish for a puppy

 

[Squirtlenator]

What if hot dogs were actually made from puppies?

I'm not sure that I can trust you with a puppy...wouldn't you PURRfer a kitten?

I wish for a private jet

 

[Starlight]

Granted. Here is a rusty old carburettor, you now have several private jets.

I wish for my lawn to never need cutting

 

[Roni]

granted, it's nothing but dead, barren soil now, and nothing will ever grow on it again...

i wish Moses in the Bible was called Shawn

 

[Starlight]

Granted but now he didn't part the red sea cause he's Shawn of the dead, see?

I wish for no more pips in fruit

 

[Roni]

Granted but now he didn't part the red sea cause he's Shawn of the dead, see?

brilliance before my eyes *sniff*

granted, they're now in all of your pants and underwear.

i wish fruits and veggies tasted like their junk food counterparts while still maintaining their healthiness.

 

[jaggybeanz]

Granted, but now fruits and veggies are banned in some countries so junk food companies don't go into bankruptcy

I wish people used solar energy instead of oil and carbon

 

[Squirtlenator]

granted but, all of the volcanos erupt, spewing ash and debris into the atmosphere blocking out the sun. Now we are all screwed.

I wish that my wish can't be corrupted

 

[Starlight]

Granted. Your wish for that wish not to be corrupted came true! Pity you didn't wish for something else though 😎

I wish for self cooking pizza