~Make A Wish and have it horribly corrupted ~

[Roni]

that'd be my preferred way to go

granted, but only if you duct tape your feet to the ceiling and hang upside down like a bat.

i wish my room auto cleaned itself every week.

 

[Starlight]

Granted, but it considers you to be part of the mess and locks you out.

I wish they would stop adding so much sugar to non-dairy milk grrr

 

[Roni]

granted, they add beans instead.

i wish i won the lottery

 

[Starlight]

Granted but money ruins you. Your story is the opposite of scrooge, and you end up a lonely ghost, chained to your own despair for all eternity. Yeah I'm getting help guys, okay?

I wish someone else would do the cooking

 

[Roni]

granted. it's a satanic spawn that manifests in your kitchen and it tries to fry your cats.

i wish my computer would stop crashing randomly, especially while i'm working.

 

[Starlight]

Granted, now it's not random, it's every 30 seconds.

I wish for a moisturiser that actually works 😔

 

[Roni]

granted, but it's $8,000 and you can only find it in an obscure boutique in Abu Dhabi.

i wish i had more time to spam tonight. it's getting late and i still have work tomorrow :c

 

[Tsutarja]

Granted, but now your source of spamming has disappeared and you can't spam so it's time wasted

I wish I had more money to be able to cook things I can actually enjoy and stay healthy

 

[Zeostar]

Granted but the money was stolen from a government office. Men in fancy looking suits are here to acquire about it at your door.

I wish I had captain america's shield.

 

[jaggybeanz]

Granted but the merchant who sold you the shield stole it from the real Capt. America, so you're forced to give the shield back to its original owner.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, now all of the fish and sea life can breathe air and have grown legs and are on land now.

I wish there was no pain and suffering in this world and everyone is happy.

 

[Starlight]

Granted but the rest of the universe is in permanent pain and suffering to compensate :-(

I wish it wasn't cloudy every time there's a good chance to see the Northern Lights

 

[Roni]

granted, skies are clear everytime the Northern Lights come up, but there's no a cloudless hailstorm that manifests.

i wish intergalactic tourism was a thing.

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, you can only go once a light year on a trip.

I wish I could fly.

 

[Roni]

granted, but only while screaming in consistent pitch.

i wish i could hold my breath forever while being underwater

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, now you have become a fish.

I wish to win the lottery

 

[Duck]

Granted. So did millions of other people, so you win about 50 cents.

I wish I dreamed a dream of times gone by.

 

[VisionofMilotic]

Granted, but the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder, as they tear your hope apart, and they turn your dream to shame...

I wish this headache I have had all day would go away.

 

[jaggybeanz]

Granted, but now you have a lot of heartache, so you live the rest of your life in complete desperation.

I wish i was taller

 

[Squirtlenator]

Granted but, the whole world around you also got bigger so you're really the same size as before.

I wish that I could change seasons at the snap of my fingers.