Kenta's Battle Tower Double Team
Okay, I can't even sleep tonight, because of how gypped I felt after the Battle Tower's unfairness today. Here's a quick overview of what's going on: in total, I've taken the Double Battle challenge for three runs so far. My best effort was 54 straight wins, but that's not the point: two of those three times, I was beaten by the same guy. It's a complete jerk-face who uses nothing but pokemon with Horn Drill, Sheer Cold, Fissure, and Guillotine. Through sheer brute luck, this talentless douche cut me off TWICE. And here's the team he "beat" with his unfairly-high luck.
Zapdos: Thunderbolt, Light Screen, Drill Peck, Protect. Item: Lum Berry.
Metagross: Psychic, Meteor Mash, Earthquake, Protect. Item: Persim Berry.
Salamence: Brick Break, Aerial Ace, Earthquake, Protect. Item: Life Orb.
Snorlax: Body Slam, Rest, Selfdestruct, Earthquake. Item: Choice Band.
Do I even need to say why this is such a badass team? Tsk, I will anyway. Let's see what each team member has going for him.
Zapdos:
1. Electric/Flying. For the record, S.T.A.B. on the moves. His only weaknesses are rocks and ice, the latter which can be cut in half with Light Screen, and the former which can be lessened by Salamence's Intimidate. Needless to say, I can also be more reckless with my Earthquakes, with him around.
2. Thunderbolt. Let's face it, though I hate to admit it, Misty was right. Water-type pokemon kick ass. From Lapras to Milotic, those things can take a hit and return with a super-effective strike. Zapdos's Thunderbolt is the only real way to get these things HARD before they can establish a firm footing. And in a tournament where Earthquake hits everyone, I'm bound to see a lot of Flying-types for strategy. Zapdos kills them too. Really, the only ones who can stand against Thunderbolt are electric-types and ground-types. Any grass-types will just get a sodomizing Drill Peck right up the butt.
3. Light Screen. Because he's fast (timid nature), I can rely on Zapdos as an immediate special defender. That's good when you've got a fragile Salamence and a slow Metagross to look after.
4. No gender. I call Zapdos "him," but Attract won't work.
5. Lum Berry. Many times, enemies have tried to take off Zapdos's killing edge by paralyzing him, freezing him solid, or putting him to sleep. When their first attempts fail, they don't get a second chance 90% of the time.
Metagross:
1. Meteor Mash. A lot of people would consider it a rash move, for me to have no water or ice pokemon on my team. That's where Metagross comes in. The absolute power of this steel-type move is quite enough to take down any rocky enemies anyway.
2. Pure stats. He's not a legendary, but if that speed were any higher, he probably would've been.
3. Clear Body. How I love it when they can't screw with my stats.
4. Genderless. Again, it's helpful.
5. Only two weaknesses. The fire is halved by Light Screen (Zapdos is always his partner in the beginning) and the ground is weakened by Salamence's Intimidate.
Salamence:
1. Intimidate. I can't get over what a cool ability this is. It weakens both enemy pokemon as soon as Salamence comes out (before they can even launch a Quick Attack), it's 100% accurate even if they're fully Double Teamed, and it happens to mean the tiny few hitpoints of difference between fainting and surviving (typically for Zapdos, when targeted with Stone Edge).
2. Two weaknesses. Yeah, when they do come, Salamence will die almost immediately. Luckily, he tends to get in the first strike and cuts them off.
3. Life Orb. I love this item. When you've got an already Adamant Salamence PLUS this, you can turn even medium moves into absolute devastation. Basically, every move becomes Double Edge while retaining its side effect. I have never respected Aerial Ace so much.
4. As a flier, Salamence is immune to ground-type moves such as the ever-common Earthquake in double battles. That alone deserves recognition.
5. Salamence isn't just a flying/dragon. Altaria is a flying/dragon. Salamence's stats are WAY better than most dragons, and with the least possible punishment, in my opinion. I'm surprised Pokemon Company didn't make him weaker, to cover for everything else he's got going for him (including that moveset).
Snorlax
1. One is all I really need. See how that Choice Band and Selfdestruct's S.T.A.B. and Snorlax's extremely high attack power mingle so nicely? Let's not forget how the team's other three pokemon know Protect. Basically, when I'm backed into a corner, Snorlax can clear the board. And unless there's a Machamp that knows Cross Chop on the other side, there's no killing Snorlax before he kills you. If there's a stronger attack than Snorlax's Selfdestruct out there, I'd love to know what it is.
And I haven't really even gotten into teamwork. These four work brilliantly together. Earthquake is typically capable of being used very freely, and that's good when you've got two enemy pokemon facing you and one is ALMOST dead. These guys work with Earthquake, that isn't often the case. Also, like I said, three of the four know Protect. That isn't just useful in guarding against friendly fire, but it has also kept my guys alive through turns they shouldn't have survived, especially Salamence in ice battles. Like I said, I can always have a physical and special defense set up before my opponents ever get to move . . . unless my enemies have greater than 143 speed (average is 100). And everyone can cover one anothers' asses. Is Metagross about to be hit by ground or fire? Switch to Salamence- problem solved! Is Zapdos about to be Ice Beamed? Snorlax can take it! Salamence is about to be hit with Psychic . . . oop, now Metagross takes it instead. Oh crap, Trick Room! Actually, not a problem . . . now Snorlax is faster than anyone else, followed closely by Metagross.
See how it works? This is a near-perfect unison. What can possibly hope to beat this team, with a trainer behind it who's fought literally thousands of double battles and can predict the opponent's moves? We turn to Rock Lee for answers on this one: just because you can see it doesn't mean you can react quick enough to it. That's exactly what happens when the Battle Tower decides you've gone far enough for one run.
You start to miss three or four times in a row when the enemy uses just one Double Team. Horn Drill's 30% accuracy rate turns into 85% accuracy. Enemy Ice Beams suddenly start to freeze you solid every other time they hit. Psychic inexplicably gets critical hits every time, which is unusual even if the enemy were holding a Scope Lens. Aerodactyl's Rock Slide flinches both of your team's members. The enemy omnisciently knows to suddenly switch from Brick Break to Rock Slide, the moment you switch out Snorlax for Zapdos. Sleep attacks last for three to five turns, and there's nothing to be done about it. Meteor Mash misses three times in a row, which is atypical even if the opponent happened to be holding Brightpowder. Don't even get me started on the critical hits.
And you know what? I can tell you the numbers were this high, because my pokemon team could endure the pain for that long before finally getting snuffed out. It wasn't lack of preparation on my part. Battle Tower lets you go only to a certain streak of wins before the percentages get tweaked and the enemy trainers become miraculously lucky. Am I being irrational or paranoid about this? I don't think I am. I've considered already that in the first 50+ battles you fight, you're bound to have varying good luck and bad luck. All it really takes is on critical bad luck battle to finish you. And going by the Evolutionists' principle, "given enough time, it will happen"! Pounding your way through 200 enemy pokemon takes a buttload of time. Mathematically speaking, you can EXPECT to have a critically bad battle during one of those times, let alone in the total of 400 enemy pokemon you have to face for a 100-win streak.
I stand by what I said. The odds get tweaked. The pokemon I meet during my 50th battle are no harder than the ones I fight in my 35th battle. Obviously you'll face nothing but weaklings up until battle 21, since the game likes to humor you. But why do the tough battles only get IMPOSSIBLE after 50 wins? I'm not fighting any legendary birds, gerbils, regis or sprites, I'm still butting heads with Lapras, Garchomp, and Rhyperior!
Your skill doesn't get tested. You simply go through the motions until you run into that jack-off who OHKOs or Critical Hits all of your pokemon to death before they can react. I wish he'd appear during my fourth Battle Tower fight instead of my fourtieth, so that when he luck-raped me I wouldn't have to wipe all my hard work and start over again. Given three continues, I promise you I would've gotten that 100-win-streak many times over.
Boy, it pisses me off. Apparently I need pokemon with ridiculously high speed, Battle Armor, and Sturdy. The best there is, apparently, isn't good enough.