So a Castform walks into a bar...

[FireSnow]

...and gets mistaken as a decoration and set up on a shelf.

So a Rhyhorn stomps into a bar...

 

[illumine]

...and uses Earthquake, creating Mt. Silver. A Braixen begun saying, "I like the way you move -" to a female Espurr, but was then silenced.

So, like, a Diglett walks into a different bar...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... and impresses everyone, because if it can walk, then we can see its legs. And, no one has seen Diglett's legs. The world is going NUTS at this point at this discovery and there are scientists everywhere clamoring at the poor little Diglett to examine its legs.

So a Wailord flops on a bar...

 

[FireSnow]

...and unfortunately destroys the place as it is much too large. Thankfully every got out in time!

So a Garbodor walks into a bar...

 

[Master of Memes]

And is treated like Trash
So a Meloetta teleports into the bar..

 

[illumine]

...but it ends up in a small room with a trainer.

So, like, a Dustox wafts into a bar...

 

[PageEmp]

And teaches everyone how to use psychic powers.

A Camerupt goes into the bar...

 

[Sun]

and it laughed so loud that magma spouted from its humps!
So a Piplup walks into the bar...

 

[Adam Levine]

...and is confused if it's in a playground pr something.

So a Luxio, drunk, accidentally ends up in a bar...

 

[PageEmp]

And barfs insane-looking sparks.

A spark hits and shocks Guardian, and he turns into a Torchic that collapses into the bar...

 

[illumine]

...and goes up to this Greninja and it's like, they just met but it's crazy, so they give them their number in case they wish to call.

So, like, a Ledian walks nonchalantly into a bar...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... and runs into illumine, who hangs out with the Ledian for several hours.

So a Joltik, apparently, walks into a bar...

 

[illumine]

...and is immediately confused for a deformed Zapdos.

So, like, a Walrein journeys nondescriptly into a bar...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... and runs into illumine, who is apparently a regular visitor to hypothetical bars. Anyways, the Walrein and illumine get along famously and end up chatting about their personal lives for a few hours. They are so engrossed in their conversation, that they forget that they're at the bar! Congrats on your new friendship!

So Mewtwo walks into a bar...

 

[illumine]

...and realises why Pokémon and humans can never be friends. Because ew.

So a Talonflame unhurriedly kites into a bar...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... looking for illumine, but unfortunately doesn't find him. Quite unfortunately really, because Talonflame really was looking for a friend. It ends up meeting the aforementioned Mewtwo (because apparently this is the same bar) and they chat it up for a few hours discussing being friends with humans. They have a great time, but never come to a solid conclusion. Oh well!

So Mew, coincidentally, flies into a bar...

 

[illumine]

...and everybody says the same things to it. It solves this by turning Ash Ketchum to stone, hoping that this will lead to a different response.

So a Cyndaquil wisps into a bar...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... and decides that it's time to evolve. So it evolves into Quilava. Everyone, including illumine, is ecstatic over this and treats Quilava to a drink. Everyone is so hyped on Quilava, who very quickly becomes the life of the party. Quilava and illumine, of course, become friends after some plausible scenario where that might be an outcome.

So a Maractus walks into a bar...

 

[illumine]

...and doesn't evolve, instead noticing somebody in the corner making drawings about possible interactions that people in the bar could be having with each other. It is actually weirded out.

So, like, a Surskit wanders its way into a bar of some sort...

 

[Otamajakushi]

... and is immediately accosted by raving Surskit fans. Being the hero that he is, illumine interjects and directs the poor Surskit away from the mob of Surskit's biggest fans.

So a Prinplup wanders into a bar...