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Taboos

pokewalker

If it ain't Dutch,it ain'tmuch
    • 667
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Taboos.
    They dictate what we are supposed to do and not do.
    Yet, what one culture defines as inappropriate might be radically different as opposed to another.
    So what is considered not done in your country region?
    For example, I'm Dutch and the Netherlands is known as a very tolerant country. This is especially true when compared to more conservative societies, like the US. Things that are considered controversial in the US are seen as completely normal here; for example, the use of the word '******' (neger) in Dutch. It's the most normal thing here, yet I'm pretty sure the word will get censored here. In fact, a prominent Dutch newspaper recently used the word, and was heavily criticised for it by the New York Times.
    Let me know of your country's taboos down below!
    EDIT: Yeah so it did get censored. For clarifactions, I meant the n-word.
     
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    You are absolutely right. The U.S is a very progressive country, so using offensive language is very taboo. It's still very common for people to use offensive language here, but they have to make sure people aren't around to persecute them for it. You can get fired for saying certain words, like THAT word. Another thing that is really taboo here is illegal drugs, including marijuana for some reason.

     
    Drugs aren't taboo, they're just underground because of law enforcement. And even then, they're not so hush-hush. Taboos aren't just inappropriate, they're also considered to be forbidden. The N-word is interesting, because it became taboo over time and now there's this weird mysticism about it, such that we use refer to it as the N-word and shudder physically or mentally whenever it is mentioned. It's that shuddering sensation when something taboo is mentioned that makes it taboo.
     
    It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.

    THE Sandwich said:
    Well, a taboo is something I really hate. Where's the freedom?
    Click to expand...

    So you want the dangerously taboo subjects such as the one I've mentioned to be allowed?
     
    Everything. For a time, interracial relationships. Sex (all kinds, underage and incest being chief amongst these). Drugs. Music (First swing, then Rock 'n Roll, then Disco, then Hip-Hop/Rap). Nudity. Violence (violence against kids, even in films). Language. Fashion (what you wear outside and how you wear it). There are so many I'm sure we all couldn't come up with all of them. Only we get to use that word, by the way. Honky. (funny joke is funny)
     
    Pinkie-Dawn said:
    It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.
    Click to expand...

    In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?

    Another thing that I forgot to mention about my country is that it's absolutely not done to talk about our past (colonial) wars, particularly the one in Indonesia. This even goes to the point that it is barely discussed in history class, apart from a very brief explanation, like 'In 1949 Indonesia became independant'. I think it's pretty strange, as making mistakes inly has one purpose: to learn from them. What good is it to make mistakes if you can't even fullfill their one purpose?
     
    pokewalker said:
    In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?
    Click to expand...

    There is, but it's a three-year age difference, and it only works for relationships that started early (either one not being close to 18).
     
    Personally I feel like the silliest societal taboo I've run across is the one on sex. It's taboo to talk about in 'polite company', taboo to express a desire for it, and taboo to actually tell someone you went through with it! Doing so usually gets you labeled a pervert or something similar; which is ridiculous.

    There are also taboos on things surrounding gender roles and what men shouldn't do, or what women shouldn't do that are pretty silly as well.
     
    Men can't wear dresses in public here. Or high heels for that matter. It's completely taboo. Not to mention make-up, at least visibly like mascara or lipstick. It's apparently unthinkable.

    I pity the males who cannot feel the soft summer breeze make the dress sway around their legs, it's such a nice sensation.
     
    Melody said:
    Personally I feel like the silliest societal taboo I've run across is the one on sex. It's taboo to talk about in 'polite company', taboo to express a desire for it, and taboo to actually tell someone you went through with it! Doing so usually gets you labeled a pervert or something similar; which is ridiculous.
    Click to expand...
    It's not really "taboo," it's just frowned upon in the same way that talking about your bowel movements in public is frowned upon. And really, it's not all that unreasonable; most people aren't going to care if you mention that you've had sex, they're just going to have a problem if you start going into detail about it. This really isn't all that complicated. You don't talk about certain topics in polite company because they're disgusting or distasteful; there's a time and a place for it and a casual or polite discussion with people that you don't know very well is usually not that time nor that place. If you want to talk about such things to people who would be comfortable with those discussions or if you have some really important point to make that you think people really need to know, then fine. Otherwise, read the atmosphere and keep it to yourself if it's not appropriate.

    And I should note that while I am generally of the opinion that no one has a right not to be offended, I do think that offending people for no particular reason is a rather pointless thing to do. Of course, I think you should still be free to do so, and I also think people should be free to think of you as a tactless, impolite person for it.

    This is all coming from someone who has no problems discussing that particular topic whatsoever; it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I just understand the reasoning behind that unspoken rule and agree with it. I wouldn't want people talking about their bowel movements around me unless (or probably even if) I was good friends with them.
     
    My family is Lebanese, and Lebanon is actually pretty liberal as far as Muslim countries go. You can drink alcohol and eat pork, you don't have to wear a headscarf if you're a woman, you don't have to serve in the military if you're a man, and Christians are tolerated. Syria was that way too before ISIS took over much of the country. However, some people there are quite religious, and some people there frown upon men kissing women outside their family.

    I was happy to find out that Lebanon recently legalised homosexuality, which puts it more forward than most Muslim countries. A lot of younger Muslims actually don't have a problem with people being gay, though most older Muslims view homosexuality as taboo. Still, there probably won't be any gay pride parades in Beirut anytime soon, since a backlash from the more conservative population would be bound to happen.

    What might surprise Americans is that Arab men can get away with wearing kohl, which is a type of eyeliner. A lot of men still wear it even after decades of Western influence. I actually like wearing kohl myself. In the Western world, eyeliner (and makeup in general) is pretty much a girl thing. Men can also kiss each other on the cheek or hold hands in an Arab country and not be suspected of being gay. I feel like back in Lebanon and other Middle Eastern countries, men can get away with openly showing their friendship a lot more than men here in Australia.

    America always struck me as a very reserved country in regards to men. I mean, in lots of countries men can go to beaches or pools in speedos, and in America you can't do that. Other countries also think it's okay for men to show interest in fashion or the arts, but America doesn't really have that.

    That being said, Arab society isn't exactly politically correct. Racism against black people is pretty widespread in Lebanon and elsewhere - definitely more so than in the United States and Europe. A lot of our political figures get away with making anti-Semitic remarks. Censorship is also a problem, and anything remotely pro-Israel is banned, and many of the governments equate Jews with Israel even though many Jews don't like Israel (heck, even some of the ones living in Israel don't!). The most ridiculous was probably when they banned The Diary of Anne Frank in Lebanon. Music censorship isn't too bad in Lebanon, although one of Lady Gaga's albums is banned there. I am a Shia Muslim, and among the Lebanese Shia community, a lot of people actually support Hezbollah. I hate Hezbollah and am disgusted that some of my relatives support them.

    Most countries in the Middle East still criminalise homosexuality and in Iran and Saudi Arabia it carries the death penalty. (Still, in a lot of countries, the punishments aren't enforced.) In some Middle Eastern countries it's illegal to be an atheist. The sad thing is that liberal Muslims like myself get ignored in favour of conservative Muslims, both in the West and in the Middle East, although it's also true that in many Middle Eastern countries you can't criticise the government.

    Keep in mind that these conservative beliefs aren't confined to Muslims. Many Arab Christians and Druzes hold the same conservative beliefs as the Muslims.
     
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    pokewalker said:
    Another thing that I forgot to mention about my country is that it's absolutely not done to talk about our past (colonial) wars, particularly the one in Indonesia. This even goes to the point that it is barely discussed in history class, apart from a very brief explanation, like 'In 1949 Indonesia became independant'. I think it's pretty strange, as making mistakes inly has one purpose: to learn from them. What good is it to make mistakes if you can't even fullfill their one purpose?
    Click to expand...

    Well that's stupid. Over here we have no problems with putting in our history of being colonized by both Dutch and Japan. Granted it serves as a way to remind us on the many lives sacrificed in order to reach the point we are right now. I don't see any reason why the Dutch has to be ashamed on once colonizing Indonesia. It's in the past. You can't change the fact that it has already happened. All you can do right now is learn from it, as we from Indonesia learn from the years of colonization.

    One thing I know is considered taboo in Indonesia is LGBT. They are still not legalized by law, and everyone who are LGBT are mostly frowned upon, thinking it's a mental disease. Granted, LGBT awareness has increased since Jokowi became president, but the muslim teachings are sooo well engraved into most of the Indonesians' minds that I doubt it'll clear pretty soon.
     
    Pinkie-Dawn said:
    There is, but it's a three-year age difference, and it only works for relationships that started early (either one not being close to 18).
    Click to expand...

    I can't help but point out the lack of truth to this.

    Spoiler:
     
    Golgari said:
    I can't help but point out the lack of truth to this.

    Spoiler:
    Click to expand...

    I think you missed out what I've said on my first post:

    It is considered taboo to have a relationship with anyone under 18, at least in California and a few other states (the rest have either 16 or 17 as the age of consent), but us U.S. citizen want to treat 18 as THE age of consent of our country, so we will feel disgusted and dehumanize any country whose age of consent is below 18, such as Japan (for its infamy of sexualizing underage characters), until we're able to convert their culture into ours.
    Click to expand...
     
    pokewalker said:
    In the Netherlands it is allowed to have sex with a minor when there's an age difference of at most five years in between. So when you're 22, you can have sex with someone who's 17. Is there no such thing in the U.S.?
    Click to expand...
    It varies from state-to-state.

    In Arkansas, it's 16 for any major 19 years or older but if the minor is less than 16, but 14-15, then the major can't be older than 18.

    California, however, is 18 with absolutely no close-in-age exceptions.
     
    pokewalker said:
    So what is considered not done in your country region?
    for example, the use of the word '******' (neger) in Dutch. It's the most normal thing here, yet I'm pretty sure the word will get censored here.
    Click to expand...

    I find that rather strange, since the word neger is considered offensive in German and in all Scandinavian languages. (A lot of Eastern European languages still use the word, though.) The French cognate nègre is also considered offensive, as is the feminine négresse.

    In case you're wondering, the usual Arabic term for black person is aswad (black) for a man and sawda for a woman. The terms zanji (masculine) and zanjiyya (feminine) are also frequently used. (Arabs refer to the east coast of Africa as Zanj, which is where the name of the island of Zanzibar comes from.) Zanji is often translated as "negro", particularly in older works such as the Arabian Nights. Both aswad and zanji are considered neutral terms. The term abd, which means "slave", is considered offensive when used as a term for a black person, and open-minded Arabs avoid using it.
     
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    Nudity is generally considered taboo except in certain select places and among certain groups. Even then you can't have children around. It's because most people equate nudity with sex so being naked (or for a woman just being topless) is "indecent" and when children are around it's sometimes viewed as some kind of child abuse. (Which is why many people are against breast feeding in public.) It's kind of immature, but not unexpected from a country that has trouble talking accurately and respectfully about sex and the human body. (Thank you, abstinence-only education!)
     
    I noticed that marriage between first cousins seems to be extremely taboo in America. Many Americans actually think that the Bible forbids marriage between first cousins, which isn't true because several Biblical characters marry their cousins. Cousin marriage was even censored from the international release of Fire Emblem: Awakening.

    On the other hand, cousin marriage is very traditional for Arab countries. One of my aunts is married to her first cousin. I never saw it as unnatural since, being from an Arab family, I was used to it.
     
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