This is your mission if you choose to accept it: go back and time and assassinate Yamauchi Hiroshi, iron-fisted and ultraconservative Japanese CEO who has been shaping Nintendo policy since long before they were even a game company. He prides himself on having never played a video game in his entire life and holds an intense loathing for RPG fans despite knowing about as much about gaming as King Tut's mummified corpse. He is our enemy. He is preventing our desired present and future from existing.
Without the charismatic guidance of a majority shareholder who wants to see a vibrant and creative company, we've only seen Old Farmer Ninty stumble out of his ivory farmhouse every morning to slop the hog trough of the soccer moms and octogenarians for the past half-decade. This timeline is crying out to be rewritten. Godspeed, Jack, Godspeed.
