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The Plot Bunny Thread

Is Fire Emblem: Conjoinst Souls something that you'd be interested in reading?

  • Yes

    Votes: 4 50.0%
  • No

    Votes: 4 50.0%

  • Total voters
    8
Oh by conflict I don't mean it has to be intense. Just some challenges, particularly an antagonist or some antagonists, Ash will be dealing with along the way. Having Jessie, James, and Meowth as their comedic selves is totally fine. The anime is more or less lighthearted saved for certain situations so it should be fine. You're probably right the other teams will set their sights on the legendaries. I apologize if my mention of conflict confused you.

Oh, so that's what you meant. Hehe, sorry. There are still several problems I have regarding of the story and one of them are the battle scenes and training sequence. How do you write a battle scene? Even after reading other fanfics with good pokemon battle I still don't know how to write one.
 

Bay

6,388
Posts
17
Years
  • Oh, so that's what you meant. Hehe, sorry. There are still several problems I have regarding of the story and one of them are the battle scenes and training sequence. How do you write a battle scene? Even after reading other fanfics with good pokemon battle I still don't know how to write one.

    Writing battle scenes is hard to explain. The best advice I can give is plan out which attacks you'll be showcasing and describe the moves the best of your ability along with the actions that happened after. Instead of "Pikachu used Thunderbolt on Seadra, Seadra faints," have, "Pikahu let out a stream of electricity that engulfed Seadra and caused her to scream in pain. Soon after sparks of electricity stopped and Seadra made deep pants before collapsing onto the water." Not a great example, but that should give a decent idea of showcasing a Pokemon attacking and the opponent being hurt. You can also check some comments me and some other folks did in this thread on improving the story's battle scenes. If you're still unsure if your battle scenes are good, you can have some friends or a beta check those out and give suggestions on how to improve them.
     
    38
    Posts
    8
    Years
    • Seen Oct 24, 2016
    Well, considering that I'm basing my story on Pokemorphs, the anthropomorphic forms of Pokémon, I've got a Mystery Dungeon idea.

    I thought of a love story between my character in game, Fang, who is a Cyndaquil who evolves into Quilava, and her partner, a Grovyle named Green. The two have bonded over a few missions and became best friends, and always pulled through every challenge along the way, even Zapdos itself. But when the time came, Fang asks Xatu about what her being human-turned-pokemon and the disasters were all about, and why they're related.

    As Xatu explains the reasons, Gengar hears everything and tells everyone at Pokémon Square. Soon, the two friends get packed up and ready to go, and their friends/clients see them off. Soon, they're thrown into uncharted territory, and forced to live their lives as fugitives.

    As time passes, however, Green soon develops feelings for the one he's trusted for so long, and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. Eventually, he blurts it out, and Fang soon realizes his feelings. Not knowing how to react, they simply stay silent.

    Upon meeting an Absol named Yami, they soon find themselves closer to their goal, and the partners talk once again. They soon properly confess their feelings for each other, due to their unbreakable bonds and unbelievable amount of trust, and they have a magical moment.

    After Fang realizes the truth, she finally comes back to Pokémon Square to tell Gengar everything she had learned of herself, and soon, everyone gangs up on Gengar. But that's not where it ends.

    After much work was done, the threat to the world was near, and only Fang and Green could go to Sky Tower to ask Rayquaza to destroy the threat. After a long battle, Fang makes the request, and soon, Green, scared of how close the meteor is, slips and falls off the edge of the top of Sky Tower.

    Fang soon jumps after him, catching him as she knows that he must live. Hitting the ground, the lovers survive, and then... Fang begins to glow. She soon realizes that she's going home.

    Sooooo... Let me know what you guys think
     

    Bay

    6,388
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • I haven't played any of the Mystery Dungeon games so I can't comment on the finer details from the games, but I read a couple MD fanfics before and I can at least comment on the basic plot. It does sounds cute having the story explore the reveal of Fang being human kinda backfired for a bit and how her relationship with Green developed. I take it during the time the two are fugitives there will be several instances of the other Pokemon recognizing them and trying to catch them? That would make good conflict until they needed to go against Rayquaza. I'm also curious over the importance of Yami (unsure if she was a character from one of the MD games or your own). Otherwise, the plot seems good to me.
     
    38
    Posts
    8
    Years
    • Seen Oct 24, 2016
    I'm basing the character of Yami as a major support for their team, based off of the part of Red/Blue Rescue Team when the characters meet an Absol, so she's somewhat of both a character in the game and my OC. And as for the chase, yes, I will feature teams that will bravely confront them, and engage them in battle.

    Thanks for the feedback!
     

    Sonata

    Don't let me disappear
    13,642
    Posts
    11
    Years
  • Spoiler:
     

    Kung Fu Ferret

    The Unbound
    1,387
    Posts
    18
    Years
  • Finally posted the very first part of my Eric Damon origin story. The next chapter I am thinking of will fast forward about seven or eight years. I need a semi-comical/semi-badass Pokemon to be fill the niche that Baloo had in The Jungle Book. I was thinking Krokorok or Scraggy, maybe Sandslash.
     

    Solar Snivy

    #TeamRowlet
    262
    Posts
    9
    Years
  • I've had this idea for a while and I'd like to run it past people before I start on it.

    Basically it's a Mystery Dungeon fic that takes place before anything like the Guild/Exploration-Society existed, so rescue teams are basically bounty hunters, not all of them good or moral. A lot of the lesser legendaries/mythical pokemon aren't well known is most places.

    The rest of the post is really long because I have a lot of the first part thought out, so I'm going to put in a spoiler:

    Spoiler:

     

    Bay

    6,388
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Reading your plot idea, Solar Snivy, even though I don't know too much about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon except the basics it does sound very interesting. Some little concerns, though.

    Spoiler:
     

    Solar Snivy

    #TeamRowlet
    262
    Posts
    9
    Years
  • You have plans for Kala's roles besides love interest and knowing some locations? You don't have to tell me in full detail if you already thought of that.
    Yes, but I don't want to spoil anything so I didn't mention it.

    You mention the characters will be in their final forms similar to Mega Evolution. In the case with Kala and Rex, will they be in their final forms (Kala as Raichu for instance)? Or is it more similar to Mega Evolution's concept?

    They will be in their final forms, but also gaining more traits similar to Mega Evolution. Basically they evolve all the way, then become permanent OP Megas.
     
    190
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    10
    Years
  • My two Ideas for story

    I have two ideas for story, I want to Write and I'm not sure which one I shall write, so I want there advice and pick the story I shall write about.
    Here it's my two ideas.


    ~Why couldn't you love me, like I love you{A Amourshipping story}~
    Bio: Ash, Serena, Clemont and Bonny are in Lumiose City after Ash won the Kalos League and finnaly become Pokemon master so have been his life long dream and his dream have finnaly come true after hard Battle With Alan and his charizard, so mega eveloution douring the Battle, it was not easy Battle but Ash was finnaly able to beat Alan's mega charizard and become Pokemon master, Ash and his friends was now in Lumiose City Pokemon Chenter when Ash got suprized visit from his long time bestfriend Misty and Brock, it was then Serena realishe at Ash don't love her, like she love him, who knows that might change.




    ~What must I do for to win Your heart and get you to love me{A Pokeshipping Story}~
    Bio: This take Place two years after Ash won the Kalos League and become master. Ash it's now back in Pallet town where he was thinking about his future and what he it's doing next, it was then Misty come visit him for to tell him her good News, it was after Misty told Ash her News at Ash decide to win Misty heart and get Misty to love him again. Who it's Misty dating? and whould Ash be able to win Misty heart in the end?


    So that was my two ideas and which story do you think are best?
     

    Miz en Scène

    Everybody's connected
    1,645
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • Any story's a good story if it's interesting. More importantly, you really should work on your grammar or at least get a beta reader to help you if your above post is any indication of what we might expect grammar-wise.

    As an aside which is strangely more to the point, I prefer the Pokeshipping story. Maybe because I only ever really watched the first three series of Pokemon.
     

    Miz en Scène

    Everybody's connected
    1,645
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • Hmm... We used to have a beta reader thread here somewhere but I guess that's gone now. Mmm... If you want I'll take a look at your first chapter though I can't guarantee I can help you with the rest. I do encourage you to try and improve your grammar in your own time though since a beta reader can only go so far.
     
    190
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  • Hmm that would be hard since I don't know how to fix my grammar since I'm not good in English. I Guess I for Write the story in my Language and later translate in English.
     

    Miz en Scène

    Everybody's connected
    1,645
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • English isn't my first language either. But trust me, the fact that you're writing in English right now is an advantage that most non-English speaking people don't have. If you can understand it you can definitely fix it -- that goes for any language.
     

    Bay

    6,388
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Hey Amourshippingfan23, so I moved your thread into the Plot Bunny thread as this is the place to get feedback for your ideas.

    Onto the ideas themselves. I admit Pokemon shipping hasn't caught my interest in a long while, but I'm sure the amour/pokeshippers would enjoy them. Couple things I want to point out, though. For your amourshipping story, will you have Serena and Ash at the end, or will it be one sided? Your pokeshipping fic, is the good news Misty having a new boyfriend/about to get married since you mention Misty seeing someone else

    I do agree with Miz en Scene in finding someone to help you smooth out the grammar. We have some Pokemon anime writers here, perhaps you can ask them to help you.
     

    Karous

    Captain Obvious
    180
    Posts
    7
    Years
  • Didn't want to make a new thread for it, but I need some help. I'm writing a fanfic featuring an original trainer as a castaway. The trainer comes from a region where gen 6 & 7 Pokemon and megas are unknown but they do exist on the islands she washes up on. For that reason, I can't call the Pokemon by name but describe them in detail.

    I was wondering if you can name the Pokemon described in the following passage so the reader knows what Pokemon I'm talking about without presenting continuity issues. If you can, then I'll feel relieved since I did it right:

    Under a thorny tree on the other side of the field lay a pack of six Pokemon of a species Laurel had never seen before. They were sleek and feline with piercing blue eyes, beige fur highlighting their limbs, faces, and chest, dark brown fur on their backs, and thin tails that ended with a cottony tuft of hair. It was impossible to tell whether their brightly colored manes were delicate hair or pure flame. While most of their manes flowed backwards like a straight ponytail, one of them – perhaps the leader of the pack? - possessed a majestic one that extended outwards and occupied its entire head sans face.
     
    Last edited:

    Miz en Scène

    Everybody's connected
    1,645
    Posts
    15
    Years
  • I want to say... Litleo and Pyroar? I'm not too up to date on gen 6 Pokemon, I admit, but going through a list and comparing attributes seems to hint at those two being the most likely candidates.

    People probably more familiar with gen 6 might get it, though I can't say for sure.

    If I might offer some advice, and if I'm right about their names, try to emphasise their feline characteristics more since those are their most prominent characteristics. You mention that they're "feline", which is a start. You could also describe the way they act (playful, proud, pounce: all words you could use to describe cats) or even compare them to other cat-like Pokemon (there are quite a few I'm sure). If your world contains actual, real world animals then you can just straight up compare them to lions.
     

    Karous

    Captain Obvious
    180
    Posts
    7
    Years
  • Yep, it's indeed describing a Pyroar.

    On your other point, I actually did include what you suggested. I'm not fully done writing that sequence and I didn't want to post an unfinished and somewhat violent scene but the context of the excerpt is that the Pyroar pride actually attack the protagonist and I wrote it like a lion attack. So plenty of opportunities to describe lion-like behavior, such as roaring, leaping onto large prey, slashing, biting....

    On top of that, I also included allusions to their typing (Fire/Normal), so hopefully it's enough:

    Although it was clear they were Fire types, Laurel elected to recall Soaker [the Blastoise]; Soaker was far too unwieldy on land and could easily get outmaneuvered by the pack of six.

    Fortunately for Laurel, most Fighting type Pokemon were eager to match anything in a test of physical prowess, and Sawk were no exception. Mash [the Sawk] immediately got to work pulling the felines off without any further coherent commands from his trainer. Mash was even more effective than expected; a single blow could immediately incapacitate the Pokemon

    (sorry, just copy pastaing random excerpts that are unfinished and clumsy, I will definitely sharpen my word choices and sentence flow!)

    Thanks for the feedback!
     
    Last edited:
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