The Post Your Problems Thread

[Captain Fabio]

Just take it slow and easy and try to make your feelings clear and heard. Don't jump into things. Captain Fabio gives some good advice.

I am glad you think so. I have just had a lot of life experience for a 21 year old, so I like to pass that onto people if they need it and I can think very logically when it comes to problems, as I always use to help my friends if they had problems.

I SHOULD BE THE PROBLEM GURU! XD​

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[professor plum]

We've been at the same school for four years and we've talked every now and then, we had mutual friends. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like he wants me to help him figure out his sexuality : X

I've talked with a lot of guys about their sexuality, believe it or not, and it doesn't always have to end in sexual relations. Albeit, he said he thought you were sexy, so...yeah. Is he very straight-acting, or what?
I mean, just talk to him and help him with his identity. If something more comes from it, what the heck? Life's too short.

Just...make sure he's clean. XD

 

[Blue Nocturne]

Just over 2 months ago I posted (in the old thread) how I had a crush on a guy i knew in the year below me, how he found out about this and how he seemed to be avoiding me. My question being whether I should talk to him about it.

Since then, I found out that he felt the same way, and that he was avoiding me because he didn't know how to say it. About 6 weeks ago, we started dating. His parents know, and they at the very least pretend to like me. My parent didn't know I was Bisexual until the christmas period and have gradually come 'round to it, but they still don't know about Jake. I want to tell them, but I'd think they'd be really quite miffed if I was going out with someone before I even came out to them.

Should I tell them how long we've been going out or wait a week or two and introduce him as a relatively new boyfriend?

 

[Captain Fabio]

Just over 2 months ago I posted (in the old thread) how I had a crush on a guy i knew in the year below me, how he found out about this and how he seemed to be avoiding me. My question being whether I should talk to him about it.

Since then, I found out that he felt the same way, and that he was avoiding me because he didn't know how to say it. About 6 weeks ago, we started dating. His parents know, and they at the very least pretend to like me. My parent didn't know I was Bisexual until the christmas period and have gradually come 'round to it, but they still don't know about Jake. I want to tell them, but I'd think they'd be really quite miffed if I was going out with someone before I even came out to them.

Should I tell them how long we've been going out or wait a week or two and introduce him as a relatively new boyfriend?

Ouch, ok, this is a very sensitive subject, so I will do my very best to help.

Their child's sexuality is a very touchy subject when it comes to a lot of parents. There can be many reasons why. It can be because they feel like they have brought up their child in the wrong way, that they have impacted on them incorrectly, the father can feel like he has failed his son and that the mother has failed their daughter, but a lot of the time, it has nothing to do to them. Feelings for the same sex can be very normal, as I am sure everyone has questioned their own sexuality at some point, even if it is for a second, it is a normal part of puberty. The decision of that person is down to them, but the hard part can be getting people to accept it, since it has been shunned and hated for many years.

My advice, and that is all it is, is to think how long has it taken your parents to come around to the fact that you are bisexual? How did they take it? How did they find out? Did they want to discuss it at all or were they dismissive, like they might have thought it was just a phase?
I know this situation is about you, but you should take into consideration your parents feelings, as I am sure you will. They have raised you to have the best life, I am sure, and they only want what is best for you. So a bit of courtesy on your behalf wouldn't go a miss when breaking the news to them.
I would first talk to them about your feelings. Tell them what you are going through, I am sure they will be supportive and want to talk to you about it.

Relationships is something that a lot of teenagers and younger adults keep from their parents, straight or gay, hell, I still do it. Not because of shame or embarrassment, but for me, it is much easier for me to just deal with it if it goes pear shaped. But, in your situation, I would hang fire with the news about your new boyfriend until you are certain they know your full feelings on the situation and they understand how you feel. Then you can decide from there.

If it was me, there are only two outcomes.
1. They accept how I feel and then I would break the news to them about the boyfriend and maybe disclose the time I had been with him.
2. They don't accept it straight away and I wouldn't make it worse by saying about the boyfriend.

I know a lot of people might say, 'just tell them, it is your life' but you should really take your parents feelings into consideration. Believe it or not, some parents fear their children being gay, not because they are discriminating, but they don't want you to have a tough life.

That is just my 2 cents. If you want to ask me anything else, feel free. :3​

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[Maj. Cor]

I'm, for the most part, a mature person. I take my responsibilities seriously and live up to them. If you ask me to help you, you will be helped. If you ask me for advice, you will get the best advice I can give. You know, stuff like that. Although I'm mature and confident in my abilities to handle myself well when I grow up, I'm scared of one thing: The future. What if I don't succeed? What if I fail miserably? What if I lose everything? I'm scared of losing everything I have, because I know I'll never be able to get it back. I'm a senior in high school, and I still don't know what to do about my career. There's sooooo many things I can do, but which one will make me the most happy?

I know it'll all be okay in the end, but I'm still scared...what should I do? How should I be approaching this?​

 

[Captain Fabio]

I'm, for the most part, a mature person. I take my responsibilities seriously and live up to them. If you ask me to help you, you will be helped. If you ask me for advice, you will get the best advice I can give. You know, stuff like that. Although I'm mature and confident in my abilities to handle myself well when I grow up, I'm scared of one thing: The future. What if I don't succeed? What if I fail miserably? What if I lose everything? I'm scared of losing everything I have, because I know I'll never be able to get it back. I'm a senior in high school, and I still don't know what to do about my career. There's sooooo many things I can do, but which one will make me the most happy?

I know it'll all be okay in the end, but I'm still scared...what should I do? How should I be approaching this?​

There are many things you can do to combat you for the future, but one of the best things to have under your belt is a good education. Of course, a lot of people have done very well without one, but with how the world is going, if you want a nice job, a good education degree is something that is a must to have behind you.

If you work hard in your teenage years at school/college/University, and put your all into everything, then the path to your future will fall into place.

Just keep going and don't get scared by it. You seem like a rational and smart person, so just keep doing what you are doing.​

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[Maj. Cor]

Well, if you are friends then that would explain him confiding in you. Then he might well want you to help him and sort his head out.

Do you want to though?​

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I did the same thing...to 'help' a friend determine his sexuality. I mean, if you two are that good of friends and you feel comfortable with it, I say help him out. You could save him a world of confusion.​

There are many things you can do to combat you for the future, but one of the best things to have under your belt is a good education. Of course, a lot of people have done very well without one, but with how the world is going, if you want a nice job, a good education degree is something that is a must to have behind you.

If you work hard in your teenage years at school/college/University, and put your all into everything, then the path to your future will fall into place.

Just keep going and don't get scared by it. You seem like a rational and smart person, so just keep doing what you are doing.​

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Thanks for the courage. :) I think that my best bet for a career is helping people...possibly through literature...​

 

[Destiny Bond]

well its just like jackgamer's problem, but different. Theres this girl, who would never speak when i was around and would do all these clumsy things (drop her books, trip over, etc) , also when i was around. When I looked at her and smiled, she would kinda go red and so Im guessing, its obvious right? I think she fancies me (or maybe not, im not too sure). And then, all my friends keept laughing at me and all of the girl's friends would nudge her and laugh as well, when im around. So exactly what should I do? Its really embarressing now....

ps. can u send it too me by message, cuz its kind of annoying, like checking back at this forum when theres notification on it.

 

[Livewire]

well its just like jackgamer's problem, but different. Theres this girl, who would never speak when i was around and would do all these clumsy things (drop her books, trip over, etc) , also when i was around. When I looked at her and smiled, she would kinda go red and so Im guessing, its obvious right? I think she fancies me (or maybe not, im not too sure). And then, all my friends keept laughing at me and all of the girl's friends would nudge her and laugh as well, when im around. So exactly what should I do? Its really embarressing now....

ps. can u send it too me by message, cuz its kind of annoying, like checking back at this forum when theres notification on it.

I think she likes you dude. Best thing to do, is to make the move and talk to her/let her know how you feel. I was in a situation similar, I finally talked to the girl I was after, and we've been dating for almost 3 years now. But muster up your courage and go for it. :D

 

[Destiny Bond]

I think she likes you dude. Best thing to do, is to make the move and talk to her/let her know how you feel. I was in a situation similar, I finally talked to the girl I was after, and we've been dating for almost 3 years now. But muster up your courage and go for it. :D

alright. ill try my best. But she always hangs out around her friends and its like impossible to talk to her alone :( but ill still try and do it

 

[ゼクロム]

Well, my problem is my DS broke and I can't find a place where people are selling used DS in Japan.
EDIT: my ds worked. but i have to hold it differently.

 

[インフェルノの津波]

Hey everyone, one of my friends has a problem. While we were setting up our classes his laptop is stolen, and since he's a big MineCraft and video game player and just a plain old computer nerd I just want to know how to help him or comfort him because his laptop meant a lot to him.

All I did was tell him every minute he spent sulking he could be one step closer to finding it, but I don't think it helped.

 

[Purple Materia]

This lunatic is harassing my mother because she won't go to the movies with him. It's really becoming a problem. He's been acting like a royal pain in the ass for ages now, but he's never downright insulted her. He made her cry. :/

@インフェルノの津波 - That's a good way to start. It's what i'd say if I was in your position.

 

[Rogue planet]

This lunatic is harassing my mother because she won't go to the movies with him. It's really becoming a problem. He's been acting like a royal pain in the ass for ages now, but he's never downright insulted her. He made her cry. :/

THEN IT'S YOUR DUTY TO DEFEND HER.
I assume your mum is single. If he's a lunatic, talk to her about it, calmly. Make her realise it's a bad idea, if the relationship gets more serious it's much harder to get rid of him so it's best to turn her around to your way of thinking before that can happen. Make sure you don't get angry or anything with her, otherwise it'll be her and him against you and that's a bad situation. You've got to stay on her side and make sure she knows it, your aim is to help her.

 

[Kenshin5]

alright. ill try my best. But she always hangs out around her friends and its like impossible to talk to her alone :( but ill still try and do it

I'd think there would be a brief time were she is not surrounded by her friends. If she likes you and you like her I kind of doubt in the long run you would want to constantly hang out with her friends. I would think you would need personal time which you cannot get with a huge group.

Hey everyone, one of my friends has a problem. While we were setting up our classes his laptop is stolen, and since he's a big MineCraft and video game player and just a plain old computer nerd I just want to know how to help him or comfort him because his laptop meant a lot to him.

All I did was tell him every minute he spent sulking he could be one step closer to finding it, but I don't think it helped.

When was it stolen and did you or he report it? If it was recently and your school has cameras you can ask them too poll the tape.

This lunatic is harassing my mother because she won't go to the movies with him. It's really becoming a problem. He's been acting like a royal pain in the ass for ages now, but he's never downright insulted her. He made her cry. :/

@インフェルノの津波 - That's a good way to start. It's what i'd say if I was in your position.

Do you have any examples of how he is harassing her? I would just tell her "Mom if this guy is too the point where you don't feel comfortable and he is constantly harassing you then its time to call off your relationship with this guy, because I don't want too end up seeing you abused by this guy." Or something like "If he is going to make you cry and degrade you then why are you even with him, I am sure there are plenty of other guys that would respect you for you." Or something to that effect.

 

[インフェルノの津波]

Our school is piss poor, so we don't have cameras. We reported it, but nothing came up yet.

 

[Sylveon]

Saving.

I am currently trying to save 1500 pounds for a deposit on a house, first month rent.

Gosh it is so difficult! I've created a saving plan of what I get each month and what I spend each month and have learnt that I can save about 600 a month, with my dad putting 25 a week in.. so he says -.-

Now does anyone have any tips on how to earn a little extra money. I've already tried selling my dvd's, cd's what I dont want but you dont get much for them really.. :tired:

 

[Xeto]

Well if ur old enough,you could apply for a job.

 

[Sylveon]

Well if ur old enough,you could apply for a job.

My partner works.. I do not do the working :laugh:

 

[donavannj]

Make use of coupons when you shop, especially for groceries. If you become skilled enough, you'll save quite a bit of money.