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Things you don't say to a cop

You see this donut? You- you see this donut? Go get it!
 
Dude, you seriously need to mellow out. Here, have this blunt I took from you after you confiscated it.
 
Hey, just because you can't conform.
 
Officer I can assure you that this money is money from a fake cash register....wait does that symbol means it real?
 
Why am I and my GF at the mall?.. erm... well. We have school off today because your mother bombed in it.
 
Officer please move your head out of my window, your breath reeks like stale donuts and overly strong coffee
 
Will a fair game of Guitar Hero make you not search the trunk of my vehicle?
 
I say you were doin a little swerving back there! Are you sure you're the one who has had alcohol tonight?
 
I'm calling the cops on you!
 
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