my parents divorced when i was 12 and my mom moved to another state and my mom was dumb and wouldn't let me live with her bcos "you only hate ur father bcos i hate him u need to spent time with him so you can make up ur own mind" so i lived with my dad for 2 years and i hated it and he always hits me and one day in like 2010 he hit me so i called the police on him and he denied it and got away with it so he locked me in my room for a week as punishment and i wasnt able to go to school or anything. i was only allowed to leave to go to the bathroom. i wasn't allowed to shower, and i only got meals given to me 3 times a day. when he let me out after a week i skipped school and snooped around my house and found out where my dad was hiding money. I took some of it and used it to buy a plane tickets to where my mom lived, but i didn't know where she lived so it took me a while to find her. since i was missing, my dad called the police and then they found i was with my mom and she got in trouble bcos she doesnt have custody so then they went to court and all this extra shit happened and then my dad got even madder at me and grounded me for 6 months (didn't lock me in my room but i wasn't allowed to do anything other than sit in my room and do nothing). during this time i tried to kill myself so many times, i was self harming, and would bash my shins in with a rolling pin to try shatter me shin bone to go to hospital just so escape. i told my "friends" at school what was happening, but they didn't believe me. 6 months passed and my dad finally ungrounded me (december 2010) and i was able to live my life, but i didn't have any reason to live really it was just boring and shit and i hated everything. im not even sure what happened from 2010-2013. i just went to school and that was it. in 2013 in my final year of school the past finally caught up with me and i was on a school excursion where we watched some documentary on domestic violence and it reminded me of everything that had happened and i passed out bcos i was so overwhelmed from everything. after that, i started suffering form severe PTSD and anxiety, i couldn't eat, had trouble sleeping, and couldn't even leave my house because the thought of leaving made me sick. whenever i tried to leave my house i would always throw up. i missed out on my graduation because i was sick. my dad didn't care that i was sick and kept trying to tell me to "go outside and get over it". we kept getting into arguments over it for about a year and he was still hitting me, until one day i finally hit him back. then he kicked me out and i lived on the streets for 2 months. i say 2 months but really i stayed with a friend for a week, but then because i didn't have a job i felt like a burden so i left and said i was going home, but really i was just sleeping on the streets for the next ~7 weeks. i supported myself by using the money i had been stealing from home over the course of the last 4 years. living on the streets forced me to overcome my PTSD and i was able to go outside again but i still had rly bad anxiety and depression (which i always had) so that was fun and then i dont know i went home one day and then my dad just treats me like a criminal and is always so passive aggressive and is like a total sociopath so idk what is happening. i used to be battling alright but then i a tv show i was watching did a self harm storyline and now i have been self harming since november last year and its the only way i can deal with life
that is my story.
