who would win

[Her]

a 44 year old minnesotan white mother of three children with a faded magenta reverse mullet haircut that has been recently denied an extravagance she believed was obligated to her

or goku

goku gets to power up to post-hyperbolic time chamber cell arc strength levels but the dragon balls are still currently under construction by dende for the duration of the fight

 

[Fairy]

How early in the morning it is and how many Mimosas has she had?

 

[Her]

How early in the morning it is and how many Mimosas has she had?

she dropped off colton and tanner at blakeford-sumner preparatory academy, and is currently having early morning brunch with hoda and kathie lee (she knows kathie left, but her morning routine muscle memory says otherwise)

she has had two mimosas because lindsay will need to be picked up at 2pm and she needs to be lucid enough to bark at maria to do so

 

[Fairy]

Damn, lady's full warlock. But Goku has plot armor, so it's really a coin toss.

I gotta be honest, the fact that it's even a question is scary enough.

 

[Her]

goku is specifically at the one place in the entire franchise where he does NOT have plot armour
he is as vulnerable as he can be

 

[gimmepie]

Definitely the house wife. Goku would be too busy wondering why he was shitting his pants in terror to lift a finger.

 

[Sydian]

this reminds me of those weird cc asks i get asking me about who would win in a tickle match

 

[professor plum]

just when goku thinks he's won the fight, karen inhales some essential oils and obliterates him just like smallpox will soon be obliterating her unvaccinated children

 

[Fairy]

Well hang on a second guys, she might be powerful but she if flawed, and those flaws are her greatest weaknesses.

Did she have an affair with her Tennis coach that can be used against her? Is the Prada bag authentic, or a knock off she got at a Belizean market? Did she ever solve that 'little' Vicodin problem?

Edit: I'm ashamed of how much actual thought I'm putting into this.

Karen's biggest weapon is social engineering and manipulation, but Goku has no social media to deconstruct and no reputation to destroy. She can't blackmail him, only bait him or make false accusations. Which, to be fair, another weapon of hers is how believable she is to Earth authority, but how much of an impact does that actually have on Goku? The only other real way I see Karen taking a meaningful advantage is by way of seduction (as long as it's not on Sunday). But Goku's genuinely a good overall guy and sincerity hard-counters Karens, so there's a very real possibility of him appealing to her last vestiges of humanity.

 

[moon]

this reminds me of those weird cc asks i get asking me about who would win in a tickle match

I'm now going to interpret this thread as if it was about a tickle match between the two.

 

[Simply Dunsparce]

Karen vs. Goku

This is definitely one of the most interesting and difficult matches I've come across. This match could literally go either way.

 

[Her]

note - karen has listened to sheryl crow in the last half hour, so she is tapping into non-ki based mystical energies goku does not have access to

 

[Fairy]

Let's be real, if the fight gets physical then they both lose since Karen would die and Goku would end up in jail. And Karen cares way too much about appearances to throw the first punch or break character. But with a Sheryl Crow buff she could use persuasion and possibly manipulate Goku's behavior to her advantage.

So would Goku be persuaded or would his pure nature override her? Goku's not stupid, he knows combat in any form it comes in, and his selective naivety would certainly come in handy.

Karen's game would need to be the long one. There's no quick way to destroy Goku without also threatening her own reputation. I honestly see her attempting to enter an affair with Goku to subtly being convincing the people around her that he's abusive, thus making him a pariah. Goku's underpowered form can't handle the shame and he bails, giving Karen the win.

But that's just one possibility of thousands.

 

[Hands]

Does Goku have access to thoughts and prayers in this fight?

 

[Her]

Does Goku have access to thoughts and prayers in this fight?

he has access to the wishes of earth's people while within the orbit of earth, not across the universe or worlds outside of human habitation