Your Daily Vitamins
Banned
- 56
- Posts
- 7
- Years
- Age 28
- Seen Mar 28, 2018
"Daiquiri" Dikeledi "Qui-Qui"
APPEARANCE: She looks like a regular Salazzle. In order for her to stand out from her peers, she often likes to dress up in styles and fashions she considers to be trend-setting or unique. She is always sporting a wig. Today for service, she's wearing her hair in dreadlocks styled like a pompadour, and a fur-lined bomber jacket. Her required uniform tie is done up as a bow on her head.
MOVESET:
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Toxic - In the form of a loogie. Daiquiri has a habit of spitting a viscous glob of highly poisonous phlegm that will fizzle and dissolve into a surface. They say treat your server well or they may spit in your food.----
Double Slap----
Encore - Sometimes hype is infectious. Can take the form of incessant congratulatory flattery or a more subtle validation in another Pokemon in order to convince the recipient to do a certain task - of her or another's proposal. It can certainly be resisted or ignored, but everyone likes to hear even a little kudos.----
Flamethrower - A blazing stream of fire that erupts from the mouth, but as it's just a stronger fire attack to Ember, it's intensity can be metered down just as lowly into a smolder. Daiquiri has excellent control over the attack, as it's all in her breathing technique. BACKGROUND:
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Dikeledi is a young adult, her physiological standpoint could be considered the equivalent of a human between the ages of 18 and 22. She lived in Oku Nnu - the name of the community as read by its sole, dilapidated town sign, with those the only letters not weathered away. Oku Nnu was once a wide-spanning human town, abandoned a great yet unknown number of years ago until a settler party of Pokemon reclaimed it. The town sits on the edge of desert and scrubland, several days west of the coast. This area is a calderic depression that sits atop a deep and roiling magma chamber, whose vents still leak and bubble in lava lakes near town. A river from the sea flows in some number of days north of town and spills into lakes of its own, but during the dry season, those evaporate into large deposits of salt. Oku Nnu's new residents have picked up the business of mining and trading their slabs of salt with neighboring towns of pioneer Pokemon. Yet unlike its neighbors, Oku Nnu is unique in that it has an extensive subterranean complex of cellars and passageways, making the maze below a dark town in and of itself.The Desert, The Dragon, and The Egg
Spoiler:
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Dikeledi was born to her mother Nyaqa and her father, Vortiger, a shiny Garchomp. Dikeledi has never known Nyaqa beyond what little her father has shared, but when he was younger, Vortiger hailed from the coastal mountains northeast of the river in a city-state of dragons. He ran away from both his father and the mandate the sovereign put on their able-bodied to prepare for an ensuing battle with a hostile draconic principality at sea. After weeks of travel into more arid lands, he came across Oku Nnu one freezing night. Though he originally had no intention to stay more than a few nights by its outskirts, he chanced across a Salazzle, who slipped out the window of a small cob house in his view - unbeknownst to Vortiger where her harem of Salandit lay. After she saw her leave witnessed, she introduced herself as Nyaqa, and commented on how foreign his species were to the town. Speaking in confidence to her of his situation as they walked quickly turned into his unwitting seduction, and later, a night of consequence. Nyaqa the morning after convinced Vortiger not be seen around town, implying the residents would ostracize him for his otherness. The two continued to see each other in secret at night on the outskirts, with Nyaqa giving him food and resources in exchange for emotional favors. Some many encounters in, Nyaqa did not know she was with Egg until it was time to deliver. After three months of the affair, Vortiger woke up to his makeshift hut on the edge of town, vandalized. Left in the wake of broken mud brick, splintered shrubwood, and an army of tracks like a lizard's was an Egg with a note that insisted "You are filth." ----
Despite storming into town with the Egg and demanding the people tell him where the Salazzle named Nyaqa lived, the townspeople said they have never heard of that name nor seen a Salazzle "up here." The house he then pointed to, from the night he first met her, was unoccupied - which the townspeople claimed was always the case. Concerned for this foreigner's sudden appearance and aggressive behavior while carrying an Egg, the denizens lent him the unoccupied house to stay in for a couple days until he had his situation sorted. In those next few days, Vortiger meets Oku Nnu's guardian Golurk named Talmud who grants him executive permission to dwell as a resident, discovers through a hidden hatch in the house the town's subterranean maze of locked and secretive residencies, and learns that the underground has its own governance that works in cooperation with Talmud's.----
In the following years, the Egg hatched into a young Salandit, who Vortiger named "Dikeledi" - in the fashion of Oku Nnu's culture, one he had grown to tolerate. He had taken time to explore the town beneath and its less scrupulous practices its rumored golden guardian let be. He began to work mining salts for a job, but though it was the town's main source of income, it was a popular job and his compensation was paltry. He would catch wind of the monthly casualties brought about by the waging mountain-sea dragon war he had fled from the northeast. He decided to investigate the underground, only to get caught up in its more lucrative yet suspicious affairs. All the while, he was raising his only daughter, trying to teach her the nights he chose to be home early how to be a decent young woman - and to stay away from the underground. When she hit the teen years, of course, her natural curiosity grew as she decided to take risks and explore on her own.
The Underground
Spoiler:
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Dikeledi was heavily influenced by the underground culture. Wandering the maze alone, she would stumble across vaults with gambling activities and black market trade. She had been attacked a few times as well, jumped by thieves and smugglers in the corridors whom she had to fend off and flee. Despite these moments, she would return time and again to explore. One night, she came across a Cacturne and Maractus pair around her age, down in a hidden and primitive Gym-like arena. They offered her some reprise and mischief under the guise of guidance and friendship.----
During this time, Dikeledi with Samman the Cacturne and Dalia the Maractus would eavesdrop on dealings in the underground. They learned about other Pokemon towns beyond Oku Nuu, towns that have been struggling to get a grasp on technology, and towns that already have departmentalized their government to control promising industry. They heard about voluntary Water-type services to an exotic island off the coast. They heard about beds of mystical rainbow-colored rock that were being guarded in the mountains. They heard about buildings made of tall steel, ropes of lightning, blazing fires, deals and offices. And when goods were sold and bidders left their secret spaces and a few discarded baubles behind, the Salandit and her friends would sneak in and take what they could, and marvel. ----
Dikeledi would hide her spoils in her room, under her dusty and tattered quilted mattress. She had two magazines whose dates of issue had no value in the years of Pokemon, though what the models wore were of distinctly different styles. The models on the front were of what she assumed to be Pokemon, though their basic figures were diverse in shape and color. One magazine was full of what they self-referenced as "urban", "street", and at times even "sporty" garments, which focused heavily on the importance of "designer" and "brand name", with "cliques" of these figures posed self-assuredly and provocatively around busy metal constructs. Some things were tight and revealing, others sagged below the waist. Music and booming devices for it were heavily advertised. The other magazine had bright colors, flouncing frills with lace or squarely geometric cuts, with little charms and accessories abounding. It was "pop", it was "alternative", it was "quirky" and endorsed by "idols" who "did it first". It was all conceptualized and "artistic" and teetered on the line of practicality and stage show, and backdrops were like bizarre dreamscapes.----
While Dikeledi learned to read through the magazines and pronounce many words as she thought correct, she also had treasured another pilfered find - one that was small and rectangular, but in pressing one of its buttons, something inside it began to spin and words came out. It was the slurred, aggressive voice of a woman venting her social troubles, using turns of phrases Dikeledi never heard of before, but quickly adopted. She would listen to it whenever she wanted a good laugh or to hear how the woman handled a similar issue that the Salandit felt she couldn't bring to her busy and distant father. The woman on the recorder often spoke about her favorite drink: a frozen strawberry daiquiri. The word "daiquiri" sounded glamorous and modern to her, and so she adapted it as her "new" name with her friends.----
When Daiquiri evolved from her battles with Samman, Dalia, and other mishaps, it created a palpable tension in the household with her father. From there, it was further strained. When the teen Salazzle and her friends were discovered by a group of money-peddling dealers in a deep part of the underground, they had no chance as they were quickly overtaken, captured, terribly beaten, and held captive for interrogation. Told to stay there as one of the Pokemon went to fetch their leader to see what would become of them for eavesdropping, the goon returned with a shiny Mega Garchomp - with a round rainbow gem pinned to his white cravat. The Salazzle immediately recognized the color and voice as Vortiger, though she didn't understand his form. Vortiger, completely appalled to find his daughter bound and battered, shut down operations for the night in a blind and unbridled rage.----
The next few days, Vortiger stayed home and silently nursed Daiquiri back to health. For a long time after, he refused to explain to her why he involved himself in dodgy ventures, as if it were the only other avenue in the dust bowl town to make a living. He also refused to speak on his mysterious new form and the strange garment he wore during. Daiquiri was not allowed out, nor was she allowed visits by her only other two friends during her recuperation. Communication absolutely crumbled for that time, leaving Daiquiri bitter towards her father, and ever-yearning for the colorful and urbanite worlds she'd flip through nightly when the dragon was sleeping. When Vortiger finally decided to address the incident that put them in that situation, he only said, "What I do feeds you. The rest is my business. Don't ever make it yours."----
Despite Vortiger's indiscriminate rampage on his band of partners for his daughter's unfortunate placement at the time, his humble standing in the underground did not diminish. Instead, it grew - out of remorse of their severe actions and fear of his draconic wrath. When Vortiger was able to return to his base of operations, a fellow sales advisor gathered him in private to talk with a visiting merchant. This secretive visitor proposed a business opportunity that arose with the introduction of new prospects and other speculations in a growing Pokemon-run industry, sourced in a faraway town. After a series of meetings and consideration, Vortiger was unsure if the risks he'd take in uprooting his life to travel weeks on end to start afresh for a high-risk market was worth it. He spent late nights when his daughter was assuredly asleep to walk the freezing outskirts of town and ruminate on his choices. then one early morning, he came across something shambling to town.
The Journey
Spoiler:
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Upon recognizing the gold-plated armor, chipped scythe-like tusks, and grand insignia carried on their tattered flag, the shiny Garchomp made no haste returning back to town before he could be seen. That morning there was a commotion outside as the residents crowded around a collapsed trio of Haxorus, and the heavy footsteps of the titanic Golurk rattled houses as it shuffled through to officiate. Watching from the window, Vortiger knew they were soldiers of the dragon sovereign in the mountains, his home that he fled from many years ago. Their war was still raging, and the three were sent out from their Kommo-o commander as messengers to recruit for aid from the nearest town, as their resources for rations were depleting. For their condition, the three Haxorus would be kept in town for some days while they were fed and tended. Vortiger could not chance being seen by them, as they would surely recognize the pink dragon as a wartime defector, one of the most grave offenses of his city-state. Hiding away until the night, Vortiger returned to the underground, where he finally agreed to the arrangements with his men to set off for the fabled steel city in the distance.----
After two days of hiding until everything was properly set, Vortiger woke Daiquiri up at twilight, telling her to gather her things as he urgently pressed that they needed to leave. A covered wagon waited for them on the edge of Oku Nuu, and without even giving her a chance to say goodbye to her only friends, Vortiger rushed her out of town to board the wagon. Surrounded by the same ring of Pokemon who captured and assaulted her two weeks before, Daiquiri was forced to keep her tongue in their cloaked and abated presence for four more weeks, as they traveled through arid lands before reaching moor and meadow, following an antique map toward a road now in complete disuse. Vortiger and his able-bodied cohorts all took turns in pairs to pull the cart along their rough and arduous journey toward the steel city. Daiquiri's only promises along the way were by the band, saying that she would have a better, more glamorous life in this city, and that her father was going to strike it rich with them. She did not hear her father speak any reassurance to her though. All he said was that it was for her "own good."----
After the long trek, battles with territorial nomads along the way, and the abandonment of two party members whose faith began to waiver, the group finally arrived to the illustrious Pokemon city. Vortiger and Daiquiri were told that they already had accommodations arranged for their arrival, as the Garchomp's crew had planted a few from their own network a year ago to scout out the city's prospects. They abandoned their wagon to the side, took their bundles of belongings, and sneaked into the city in their dark garb. Led along the way by the merchant who proposed the journey in the first place, they slipped through alleys and avoided nighttime patrolmen to find a certain cellar door, secretly marked for their safety. After the merchant guide unlocked it with a special key he kept on his person, the bunch filed in. This well-furnished basement to a townhouse was one of three leased to members of their organization. The rented houses were all under their control. This was Vortiger and Daiquiri's new home.
The City Life
Spoiler:
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Daiquiri marveled at the city the night they scuttled through. Allowed to roam the bustling streets alone by day while her father's associates straightened matters, her awe grew as she took in the sights. The city had an aesthetic she had never been exposed to in her magazines, nor hinted to in the ramblings of her cassette player. It was urban and constructed but it lacked an edgy grit and made up for it in inventive complexity. It was colorful and bulky but nothing so prismatic or unconventionally organic in form. The residents dressed in a more modern fashion than back home, but cuts and patterns were plain compared to the few she'd read. She spent her time exploring this new culture through their boutiques, and overhearing snippets of lingo from passersby as she loitered around cafes.----
Upon returning home in the evening, she'd be asked by her father to keep upstairs to her bedroom as he and his cohorts discussed matters. The details of their operation were soon laid out and agreed upon by the Garchomp, wherein he would become a co-owner and essential decision-maker for a lowkey scheme. A week after arriving in the city, Vortiger by night was out in another district, running another rented apartment space, acting as a host to an underground gambling ring. Over time, his group's efforts expanded, and it only brought with it comfortable earnings and secretive alliances. Vortiger would return to his apartment in a dark cloak, key to the cellar door and his mysterious rainbow gem in claw. At the beginning of every week after that success, he would give Daiquiri a hefty allowance, telling her not to spend it all on "the wrong things." Daiquiri would spend a good amount of time and money on a small wardrobe, wanting to craft her image now that she no longer lived in a dust bowl. ----
Daiquiri made relationships in her first month living in the city. One night when she was out skulking the alleyways for an interesting scene, she heard a commotion from a nearby dead end. Peeking her head around to investigate, she saw a Tsareena stumbling out of a back door, a cloud of black soot trailing behind her. The Grass-type Pokemon quickly regained her stance, letting loose a barrage of kicks as a raid of dark-furred Meowth pounced at her through the doorway. As her attacks connected and most of them were flung back, there were just too many slipping through for her one to take. When she had the chance, the Tsareena dashed off towards the mouth of the alley - but not before her foot got caught in a small pothole, tripping her. As the mob of Meowth scuttled out, Daiquiri decided to intervene, dashing in with her mouth ablaze with flames to spit. Having forced the Meowth back into their building and retreat at the sight of her Flamethrower, Daiquiri went to help the Tsareena, who introduced herself as "Queenie".----
When the Salazzle returned the greet, Queenie remarked on her strange accent. As the two walked out of the alley, Daiquiri took the time to explain where she grew up to a curious Tsareena before the sudden move to this city. Queenie made it a point to take Daiquiri up under her wing as thanks for the help. The two became fast friends as Queenie showed Daiquiri around the districts most evenings and introduced her to the thrill of gatecrashing. Daiquiri began to grow accustomed to the different scenes of the city, as she began to mold a new identity for herself from all these different influences, down to the new nuances in her inflection.----
One month later, when Queenie and Daiquiri were out looking for signs of party life in a district across town, they found just that in an abandoned townhouse. They trespassed onto the fenced-in property and followed the grainy sound of a rockabilly record into the back of the house, where boards had been pried away as a makeshift entrance. Sneaking in, they found the living area was packed with Salandit, all lounging in short black jackets. Though the Tsareena and Salazzle were immediately discovered and swarmed, most of the Salandit expressed a blatant interest in Daiquiri, asking her why she was here and admiring the few pieces of fashion she sported. Queenie, calling the party a total dud, encouraged Daiquiri to leave with her. Despite enjoying all the attention she was receiving and the protests of the Salandit, she ended up walking out - as some of the Salandit followed. After a threatening outburst from Queenie to keep away, they mostly staved off, though one Salandit didn't. He wore a bulkier jacket with a red patch on one arm, and he stood a little taller than the rest. Introducing himself as Quavious, he apologized for the way his crew acted, but said that though they crashed his gang's hideout, he invited them to come again for parties and "more." Though Daiquiri didn't accept the offer at first because Queenie wanted to leave so badly, the Salazzle did make it a point some nights to visit the house on her own. She was gladly welcomed in by their leader Quavious, learned their ways and picked up their slang, and over time grew an attachment to the gang as they treated her better than family. Quavious in particular became a love interest, as they bonded over private exploits into the night. She's kept the gang and Quavious a secret from her father.
The Workforce
Spoiler:
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As Vortiger's illegal gambling business paid for their apartment's rent, utilities, and more, pocket change began to dwindle for Daiquiri as her father began to start various investment plans and trading. Vortiger insisted that Daiquiri get a job to compensate her shrinking allowance and to support her shopping and dining habits. Begrudgingly, she did, and her first job was at a maternity boutique run by a Miltank named Milkie. After only a month on the job and an incident that Daiquiri in-part instigated, she quit, feeling unappreciated. Telling her father her decision devolved into an argument and a demand she find another job or risk being kicked out of the house. Finding the threat unfounded and unfair but needing the money she used to earn, she went job searching.----
She finally came across Finer Things, a fine-dining restaurant that was hiring for server position. She took an application home, showed her father when he was available, and said she would apply there as a start. Vortiger recognized the status of the restaurant. After silently recalling some important details, he decided to help her prepare by teaching her a few things about table sets and etiquette - albeit, as he was taught back in his home court. When it was time to show the restaurant's powers that be a demonstration for the position, most of what she was taught translated over - but she did raise a few eyebrows and evoke a few reactions during the performance and interview. Though it appeared she was mixly reviewed when she left, she was called back a week later with the job. Now Daiquiri has only been working there for a week, but she feels that she could make the situation work.PROMPT:
Spoiler:
MILKIE
ITS YA GIRL, GET MIXED. YOU THINK YOU ALL THAT BUT YOU A CLOWN. I AM SO DONE WITH THAT FAT PINK HEIFER-LOOKIN MUG AND THAT BABY MAMA BUISNESS YOU TRYNA OPERATE. YALL NEVER DID THE HOMEWORK, SO I GON BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU SINCE THEM FOUR STOMACHS CAN'T.
I WAS AT THE BREAKFAST CLUB MONDAY FOR MY GRILL CHEESE THE DAY YOU CALLED OUT WORK AND I SAW THAT TWO FACE BUST LIP MEDICHIMP ((HENCEFORTH CALLED DIRTY DENISE) ROLL UP WITH JASMINE AND TONYA. THEY NEVER SAW ME, THEY SAT DOWN TO KIKI W/ TEA. OF COURSE AFTER THE WHOLE FACT JAS AND TONYA NEVER CAME TO ME ABOUT NOTHIN BECAUSE WHY WOULD THEY WHEN ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT DIRTY DENISE SAID BEFORE WORK, BUT I WASN'T INVITED WITH THEM OTHER EMPLOYEES??
NO. ITS NO DAMN SURPRISE THAT DIRTY DENISE DON'T LIKE ME CUS I WAS NEVER AFRAID TO SNIP A WITCH WHEN SHE COME AFTER ME OVER NOTHING. AND YOU TURN THAT BIG FLAPPY CHEEK EVERY TIME, BUT YALL GOT NO REASON, THIS IS A MUKING MATERNITY STORE.
ANYWAY, I MIND MY OWN BUSINESS BUT THEN I LOOKED OVER AND I SAW DIRTY DENISE SHOW OFF SOME KINDA PAPER TO THEM. GUESS WHAT COLOR IT WAS. CHARTREUSE. SAME PUKE NASTY COLOR OF THE SCHEDULE CHART. DIRTY DENISE COPPED A COPY AND WAS SHOWIN' IT OFF. I DIDN'T THINK NOTHIN OF IT TILL THURSDAY…..
….. WHICH WAS MY DAY OFF. I WAS BUMPIN WITH MY BOY QUAVIOUS. WE WAS DROPPIN BILLS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT YOU WERE "OUT OF TOWN" AGAIN ((YOU DIDN'T CALL ME THIS TIME, HMMM NOT SUSPICIOUS, YOU ALWAYS CALL EVEN WHEN I'M OFF)) AND APPARENTLY DUSTY DIRTY DENISE AND THE REST OF THEM WASHED UP RUNG OUT BIDDIES WERE RUNNIN THE STORE. GOLLY, LUCKY ME, I REMEMBERED THAT I DONE LEFT ONE OF MY REAL HAIR BACK IN MY LOCKER AND I NEEDED IT FOR THE LATE NITE JAM, CUT A RUG RITE, SO I WENT BACK TO THE BABY BLIMP SHACK AND LO AND BEHOLD, I FIND OUT WHEN I WAS GONE SOME KINDA REAL SHIZZ WENT DOWN.
I WALKED IN, TONYA WAS AT THE DESK, I PASS HER BYE, MY GOODS IN THE BACK, I OPEN THE DOOR, I WALK RIGHT INTO DIRTY DENISE TALKIN UP A MESS ABOUT ME TO JASMINE. I HEARD HER, SHE CALL ME A "TOXIC", AND THEN SHE BROUGHT "LOOKS" INTO IT?? SAYIN' I DON'T FIT THE STORE, LIKE. GEE WILLIKERS, THIS BUST UP HAM HOCK LEG LOOKIN. I TOLD HER GET MY NAME OUT THEY STANK MOUTH. IF SHE TRYNA COME FOR ME SHE BETTER STEP HER RED SWOLE THIGHS UP TO ME FIRST. THEN JASMINE SAID SOMETHIN NOBODY LISTENED TO BECAUSE MUK HER, SHE A SECOND THOT.
THEN DIRTY DENISE SAID I'M SOME KINDA RATCHET AND I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE AND MY HAIR FAKE AND I NEED SOMEONE TO PUT ME IN MY PLACE?? LIKE FO REAL? SO I SAID TRY ME AND SHE BUCKED AT ME LIKE SHE WAS BOUTA THROW ONE SO I SLAPPED HER DEAF DUMB.
BUT IT WADN'T FOR LONG CUS THEN WE REALLY BUCK WHILIN AND JAS HAD TO STEP IN THAT OLD CLUCKOO AND WE SCRAPPED OUT INTO THE STORE BUSTING IT UP AND TONYA LEFT THE DESK TO HOBBLE OUT THE DOOR SAYING HELP HELP I WAS STARTIN SHIZZ, LIKE REALLY SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE FOR THE START OF IT HAHAHAHA
AND THATS WHEN QUAVIOUS HEARD WHATS UP AND HE BOLD IN AND WE WAS LUNCHIN, GOT THE WHOLE STORE TRASHED.
BUT CLEARLY IT WAS A MUCH NEEDED MAKEOVER BECAUSE YOU UP AND SIDED TO DIRTY DEAF DUMB DENISE AND THE GOONIES BEFORE YOU HEARD MY SIDE OF THE STORY AND MY BOY QUA-QUA ((HIS MAMA LEARNED HIM NEVER TELL A LIE (((DIRTY D'S MAMA DIDN'T GET THE MEMO??) )). I WAS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY AND YALL GOT OFF SOME KANGAROO BULL, BUT THATS OK. YALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M STREET, I WILL BRING THE STREET TO YOU HUNTIES.
THAT'S WHY DENISE BROKE THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTER WITH A WHIFFED BOP AIM FOR ME. THAT'S WHY DENISE CRASH INTO FIVE SHELVES CUS SHE TRIP ON MY TAIL TRYNA SNATCH MY (REAL!!) HAIR. THAT'S WHY DENISE'S ALIEN STALK LOOKIN HEAD BUST THOSE PICTURE FRAMES FOR WHEN THE BABY COMES THAT YALL SELLIN FOR 20 MORE THAN THE DEPOT STORE. I MAY HAVE BURNED UP SOME CLOTHES CUS SHE GOT MY MOUTH HOT SPITTIN FIRE, BUT REALLY THATS ALL I DID ((NOT MUCH!!!) AND I ALREADY PAID FOR THE DAMAGES EVEN THOUGH THEM CLOTHES ARE CUT OUT OF POLKADOT CIRCUS CURTAINS, YOU DUMB FAT TRICK.
I AINT TRYNA STICK AROUN SO YALL CAN CALL ME A THEIF WHEN YALL GET ROBBED DOWN THE ROAD ((IF YOU REBUILD RIGHT)) BUT WHAT YALL DID TO MY REP AINT GONNA FLY, SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF MY LIZZAS WILL BE SEEING YOU. IM BOSS AND BOUJEE, THE FATTEST CAT (NOT AS FAT AS YOU THO, UH YAYA)
P.S. COVER YOUR UDDERS WITH SOME PASTIES OR BETTER YET DUCT TAPE
KISS KISS ITS QUI-QUI
ITS YA GIRL, GET MIXED. YOU THINK YOU ALL THAT BUT YOU A CLOWN. I AM SO DONE WITH THAT FAT PINK HEIFER-LOOKIN MUG AND THAT BABY MAMA BUISNESS YOU TRYNA OPERATE. YALL NEVER DID THE HOMEWORK, SO I GON BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU SINCE THEM FOUR STOMACHS CAN'T.
I WAS AT THE BREAKFAST CLUB MONDAY FOR MY GRILL CHEESE THE DAY YOU CALLED OUT WORK AND I SAW THAT TWO FACE BUST LIP MEDICHIMP ((HENCEFORTH CALLED DIRTY DENISE) ROLL UP WITH JASMINE AND TONYA. THEY NEVER SAW ME, THEY SAT DOWN TO KIKI W/ TEA. OF COURSE AFTER THE WHOLE FACT JAS AND TONYA NEVER CAME TO ME ABOUT NOTHIN BECAUSE WHY WOULD THEY WHEN ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS WHAT DIRTY DENISE SAID BEFORE WORK, BUT I WASN'T INVITED WITH THEM OTHER EMPLOYEES??
NO. ITS NO DAMN SURPRISE THAT DIRTY DENISE DON'T LIKE ME CUS I WAS NEVER AFRAID TO SNIP A WITCH WHEN SHE COME AFTER ME OVER NOTHING. AND YOU TURN THAT BIG FLAPPY CHEEK EVERY TIME, BUT YALL GOT NO REASON, THIS IS A MUKING MATERNITY STORE.
ANYWAY, I MIND MY OWN BUSINESS BUT THEN I LOOKED OVER AND I SAW DIRTY DENISE SHOW OFF SOME KINDA PAPER TO THEM. GUESS WHAT COLOR IT WAS. CHARTREUSE. SAME PUKE NASTY COLOR OF THE SCHEDULE CHART. DIRTY DENISE COPPED A COPY AND WAS SHOWIN' IT OFF. I DIDN'T THINK NOTHIN OF IT TILL THURSDAY…..
….. WHICH WAS MY DAY OFF. I WAS BUMPIN WITH MY BOY QUAVIOUS. WE WAS DROPPIN BILLS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT YOU WERE "OUT OF TOWN" AGAIN ((YOU DIDN'T CALL ME THIS TIME, HMMM NOT SUSPICIOUS, YOU ALWAYS CALL EVEN WHEN I'M OFF)) AND APPARENTLY DUSTY DIRTY DENISE AND THE REST OF THEM WASHED UP RUNG OUT BIDDIES WERE RUNNIN THE STORE. GOLLY, LUCKY ME, I REMEMBERED THAT I DONE LEFT ONE OF MY REAL HAIR BACK IN MY LOCKER AND I NEEDED IT FOR THE LATE NITE JAM, CUT A RUG RITE, SO I WENT BACK TO THE BABY BLIMP SHACK AND LO AND BEHOLD, I FIND OUT WHEN I WAS GONE SOME KINDA REAL SHIZZ WENT DOWN.
I WALKED IN, TONYA WAS AT THE DESK, I PASS HER BYE, MY GOODS IN THE BACK, I OPEN THE DOOR, I WALK RIGHT INTO DIRTY DENISE TALKIN UP A MESS ABOUT ME TO JASMINE. I HEARD HER, SHE CALL ME A "TOXIC", AND THEN SHE BROUGHT "LOOKS" INTO IT?? SAYIN' I DON'T FIT THE STORE, LIKE. GEE WILLIKERS, THIS BUST UP HAM HOCK LEG LOOKIN. I TOLD HER GET MY NAME OUT THEY STANK MOUTH. IF SHE TRYNA COME FOR ME SHE BETTER STEP HER RED SWOLE THIGHS UP TO ME FIRST. THEN JASMINE SAID SOMETHIN NOBODY LISTENED TO BECAUSE MUK HER, SHE A SECOND THOT.
THEN DIRTY DENISE SAID I'M SOME KINDA RATCHET AND I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE AND MY HAIR FAKE AND I NEED SOMEONE TO PUT ME IN MY PLACE?? LIKE FO REAL? SO I SAID TRY ME AND SHE BUCKED AT ME LIKE SHE WAS BOUTA THROW ONE SO I SLAPPED HER DEAF DUMB.
BUT IT WADN'T FOR LONG CUS THEN WE REALLY BUCK WHILIN AND JAS HAD TO STEP IN THAT OLD CLUCKOO AND WE SCRAPPED OUT INTO THE STORE BUSTING IT UP AND TONYA LEFT THE DESK TO HOBBLE OUT THE DOOR SAYING HELP HELP I WAS STARTIN SHIZZ, LIKE REALLY SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE FOR THE START OF IT HAHAHAHA
AND THATS WHEN QUAVIOUS HEARD WHATS UP AND HE BOLD IN AND WE WAS LUNCHIN, GOT THE WHOLE STORE TRASHED.
BUT CLEARLY IT WAS A MUCH NEEDED MAKEOVER BECAUSE YOU UP AND SIDED TO DIRTY DEAF DUMB DENISE AND THE GOONIES BEFORE YOU HEARD MY SIDE OF THE STORY AND MY BOY QUA-QUA ((HIS MAMA LEARNED HIM NEVER TELL A LIE (((DIRTY D'S MAMA DIDN'T GET THE MEMO??) )). I WAS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY AND YALL GOT OFF SOME KANGAROO BULL, BUT THATS OK. YALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M STREET, I WILL BRING THE STREET TO YOU HUNTIES.
THAT'S WHY DENISE BROKE THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTER WITH A WHIFFED BOP AIM FOR ME. THAT'S WHY DENISE CRASH INTO FIVE SHELVES CUS SHE TRIP ON MY TAIL TRYNA SNATCH MY (REAL!!) HAIR. THAT'S WHY DENISE'S ALIEN STALK LOOKIN HEAD BUST THOSE PICTURE FRAMES FOR WHEN THE BABY COMES THAT YALL SELLIN FOR 20 MORE THAN THE DEPOT STORE. I MAY HAVE BURNED UP SOME CLOTHES CUS SHE GOT MY MOUTH HOT SPITTIN FIRE, BUT REALLY THATS ALL I DID ((NOT MUCH!!!) AND I ALREADY PAID FOR THE DAMAGES EVEN THOUGH THEM CLOTHES ARE CUT OUT OF POLKADOT CIRCUS CURTAINS, YOU DUMB FAT TRICK.
I AINT TRYNA STICK AROUN SO YALL CAN CALL ME A THEIF WHEN YALL GET ROBBED DOWN THE ROAD ((IF YOU REBUILD RIGHT)) BUT WHAT YALL DID TO MY REP AINT GONNA FLY, SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF MY LIZZAS WILL BE SEEING YOU. IM BOSS AND BOUJEE, THE FATTEST CAT (NOT AS FAT AS YOU THO, UH YAYA)
P.S. COVER YOUR UDDERS WITH SOME PASTIES OR BETTER YET DUCT TAPE
KISS KISS ITS QUI-QUI
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Cadbury is a Linoone who has been trained to stand biped, putting him at 3'3". As all Linoone, his half-lidded eyes are entirely blue except for his slit pupils, and brown stripes mark his creamy-furred body, most notably one stripe atop his head that forms an arrow.
