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Off The Menu [Workshop]

Junier

Fake Friends Forever (´・ω・`)
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Ha, I'm really glad you like the looks of them so far! I was so excited when I found that song.

I think Cadbury: The Second Coming would probably be around the late twenties to earlier 30's based on how I'm envisioning him as an embittered adult now. Your Cadbury would definitely be a senior on the job, though; mine would have been working for a few months already but would've strived for a waiting position when the restaurant was already pretty established.

And "frozen water-flavored", as in they taste like snow. (Though still with the consistency of ice cream because I can't resist)
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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7
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Well what my Cadbury has in age and experience, yours has in being literally double the Cadbury. :V

May or may not complete this Ivysaur aromatherapist application, too.

Huh. We have icons on Pokecommunity? Kiyo's OP is the first time I've seen them.
Is there a list of them or something, so I can use 'em too?
 
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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Oh, I was unaware this became the OOC thread, now, Kiyo.

Based on how much critique I had for Oddy, I think I'd be a good idea to start this kinda stuff now. Here, I should actually quote everyone who has demonstrated interest in this RP to see if they wanna get in on this SU workshop:

Spoiler:

but here's a preview, at least

Sexy stuff, love the extra tidbits you got in there and the concept of a Vanilluxe trying to perform well in this job. Also, I have a soft spot for bitter adults because I am one. Only thing is that the big "Cadbury" text image sometimes works (works perfectly on my phone) and sometimes doesn't (on my computer it sinks to the bottom of the SU.)

Is there a list of them or something, so I can use 'em too?
There might be more, but this is the list I use for most of the icons I find relevant.

For ones you can use
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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Oh, so it's just a CSS thing in general. Thanks for the link!
also we posting our apps here now
We're just "workshopping" our character profiles, much like Kiyo is/was workshopping his campaign:
I've now written up the SU for one of the many Cadburys, should I letcha see it in its entirety, or should I avoid posting the whole thing?
I do wanna get feedback after all, especially on the moveset.
Yes, I do mean posting it here in its entirety! (Minus the secret(s) of course, which you can PM in private.)

-------

I just want you to answer the following questions in-character as Cadbury, and if need be, somehow incorporate your answers into the final version of your SU to help flesh out this badger.

My outlying concern, which I'm glad you brought to my attention, is that everyone should write in past-tense rather than present. Personal preference, and I would rather everyone stick to one agreed tense if we're all going to be writing "the same story" as it were.

To finish, since I'm a huge asshole, here are a few grammar things I found that you should just keep in mind:

Spoiler:
Clarification:

What do you mean by answer those questions in-character?
Within the roleplay? Somehow include Cadbury talking directly to you within his SU?

Oh, I'm really really used to roleplaying in present-tense. I can adjust to suit the rest of you guys, but please correct me if I slip up in my tense.

The way I was taught, commas are used in this situation:
"The start of a thought," he said. "And this is how I'm ending it."
And periods can be used here if it makes it more clear that the sentence is coming to a full stop:
"I can't believe that." he said.
Maybe that's different from your conventions.

Thanks for the feedback Kiyo, I'll work on all the other stuff you talked about.
 
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Ech

275
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  • Age 104
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Oddy, you sent me like five notifications by quoting me (and probably Kiyo as well), lol. I'm assuming you're a very diligent person and edit your post a lot. C:

it doesn't actually bother me, I just always freak out when I get multiple notifications because it usually means I did something wrong
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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12
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What do you mean by answer those questions in-character?

Your answers should be Cadbury responding to these questions with his own voice, and should be posted to this thread. Click here for an example of Arsenic doing the same exercise as the legendary Kaze in the Cornered! OOC.

When I say "incorporate," maybe there are some details that crop up from this exercise that you want to include somehow in your final SU!

Oh, I'm really really used to roleplaying in present-tense. I can adjust to suit the rest of you guys, but please correct me if I slip up in my tense.

tumblr_mpht1qbWZE1rjdxtio1_500.gif

Maybe that's different from your conventions.

Yeah, at least what they taught me way-way back many centuries ago in school is that it's improper to end a line of dialogue in a period unless it's the end of the entire sentence it resides in. As far as I care, commas look nicer than periods in the middle of a sentence. :)

Oddy, you sent me like five notifications by quoting me (and probably Kiyo as well), lol.

His 38 notifications make me feel important, Mom.

To prove to you guys that I do a lot of work behind the scenes for this RP when I can, here are some swanky assets you can look forward to seeing:

The GM IC Posts ~

ZH8xO1W.png

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" How will I ever deal with sentences? " Carmine said, although no one could hear him. Not that that little worm would know anyway, he was just an employee.
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" I'm note sure, " said employee quiped, right behind him.
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" Oh, dear, " Carmine replied, " I obviously did not see you there. "
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" Shit about to go down. "
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" I didn't bring enough popcorn, though! Please cease, " the third character chirped in.
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Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

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Respect my position as GM. Please trust my ability to run this game and come to me if you have any concerns or a request. My final word is law and all player disputes are to be settled by me. I'm here to make sure this whole thing runs smoothly and as enjoyably as possible, so don't be shy!

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Respect my position as GM. Please trust my ability to run this game and come to me if you have any concerns or a request. My final word is law and all player disputes are to be settled by me. I'm here to make sure this whole thing runs smoothly and as enjoyably as possible, so don't be shy!

-
Respect my position as GM. Please trust my ability to run this game and come to me if you have any concerns or a request. My final word is law and all player disputes are to be settled by me. I'm here to make sure this whole thing runs smoothly and as enjoyably as possible, so don't be shy!

-
Respect my position as GM. Please trust my ability to run this game and come to me if you have any concerns or a request. My final word is law and all player disputes are to be settled by me. I'm here to make sure this whole thing runs smoothly and as enjoyably as possible, so don't be shy!

-
Respect my position as GM. Please trust my ability to run this game and come to me if you have any concerns or a request. My final word is law and all player disputes are to be settled by me. I'm here to make sure this whole thing runs smoothly and as enjoyably as possible, so don't be shy!

-----
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

-
Carmine cracked a pleasant smile.

-----
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.​

-----
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.​

Spoiler:


It is now 7:00PM

And the "Guest List" OOC Post, which some of you will recognize as a re-skinned State Your Business from Cornered!:

7ddxoY3.png
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This aging Trumbeak is known as Carmine, the Maî·tre D', and he has been in the business longer than you have probably been alive, but don't let the thin round-frame glasses and graying feathers deceive you: his spry figure and keen sense of eyesight grant him near omnipresence over the establishment. He doubles as the employee manager, and therefore has the ability to benefit or fire anyone he pleases. One would be correct in describing his demeanor as cold and nervous, but he also loves novelty, considers himself a part-time scholar, and is nothing short of a perfectionist. Impress him, and you've got a loyal and powerful ally.​
" Can you tell me a little about yourself? "
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This question seems simple, so many people fail to prepare for it, but it's crucial. Here's the deal: Don't give your complete employment (or personal) history. Instead give a pitch—one that's concise and compelling and that shows exactly why you're the right fit for the job. Start off with the 2-3 specific accomplishments or experiences that you most want the interviewer to know about, then wrap up talking about how that prior experience has positioned you for this specific role. Instead give a pitch—one that's concise and compelling and that shows exactly why you're the right fit for the job. Start off with the 2-3 specific accomplishments or experiences that you most want the interviewer to know about, then wrap up talking about how that prior experience has positioned.

" Can you tell me a little about yourself? "
-----
This question seems simple, so many people fail to prepare for it, but it's crucial. Here's the deal: Don't give your complete employment (or personal) history. Instead give a pitch—one that's concise and compelling and that shows exactly why you're the right fit for the job. Start off with the 2-3 specific accomplishments or experiences that you most want the interviewer to know about, then wrap up talking about how that prior experience has positioned you for this specific role.

" Can you tell me a little about yourself? "
-----
This question seems simple, so many people fail to prepare for it, but it's crucial. Here's the deal: Don't give your complete employment (or personal) history. Instead give a pitch—one that's concise and compelling and that shows exactly why you're the right fit for the job. Start off with the 2-3 specific accomplishments or experiences that you most want the interviewer to know about, then wrap up talking about how that prior experience has positioned you for this specific role.​
 

Orx of Twinleaf

Branch into Psyche
273
Posts
8
Years
There are enough people interested that I'm sure I needn't apply for you to have a full roster easily. That said I have a personal interest in the functioning and fate of this RP, and will be watching it from afar regardless.
May you have the best of luck, Mr. Kiyo! See if you can't manage to bring this ship into port once and for all, eh wot?
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
Posts
7
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Oh. I honestly had no idea that every edit I make with a quote inside it sends a notification. I guess that's a hidden Pokecommunity feature. I'm sorry for spamming you.

Thanks for the praise Kiyo, I really appreciate it!
What a helpful dude tho

Oh, one thing I want to ask Kiyo.
"Be mindful, however: my GM avatars, specifically Carmine and Lombardi, are here to judge your work and reprimand unscrupulous behavior."
"Some Missions will have to be tackled by more than one character, so when those appear feel free to hop on a mission with someone else to help them or commit sabotage; this is a competitive RP, after all."
These points appear to contradict. You are both encouraging and cracking down on unscrupulous behavior. Bit confused about that.

Alright, you asked for a bunch of changes, plus there's the CSS, so I'll probably just make a whole new post instead of edit the one above. In the meantime, I'll do this.
Good, all very good. I just want you to answer the following questions in-character as Cadbury, and if need be, somehow incorporate your answers into the final version of your SU to help flesh out this badger:

Spoiler:
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
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What a helpful dude tho

raw

Oh, one thing I want to ask Kiyo.

I, as a GM, encourage you to play true to what your character would do. Carmine and Lombardi are hazards for anyone looking to play dirty, and they have their own agendas and can be manipulated into believing certain things. And their orders may misalign with your own moral code or what option would net you the most cash. They're obstacles, not me chastising a player for not going a certain moral route.

"Curious lad, aren't you?"

You slayed this assignment; I feel like I got a good taste of who Cadbury is and his mannerisms, and it was a blast to read. You seem very capable of expanding upon his history and who he is. I have no further questions for the time being.

I don't like past tense in roleplay, it's contradictory to the engagement.

I acknowledge your points, but I politely disagree. I think your answers and actions as Cadbury flowed significantly better in past-tense, and it's very odd if someone is writing in a conflicting tense as everyone else. I do apologize that you seem to struggle with it, but I feel like your writing had such an enriching jump in quality!​
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
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I'm screaming, this was an incredibly fun read and you demonstrated tons of creativity with the prompt and your ability to twist situations to make them more intriguing for the audience.
You slayed this assignment; I feel like I got a good taste of who Cadbury is and his mannerisms, and it was a blast to read.
d53GJwIm.gif


Also yeah it would be weird if I posted present and the rest posted past tense, in the RP proper.
 

Ech

275
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Oh. I honestly had no idea that every edit I make with a quote inside it sends a notification. I guess that's a hidden Pokecommunity feature. I'm sorry for spamming you.

Lol, don't worry about it too much. It's technically not even your fault anyway. A good work-around is to delete the post# beside the Username so it doesn't redirect itself into that person's notification list.

but on the other hand, it'd be hella fun to blow up a friend's notification list into oblivion.


i am quoting you here, publicly letting you know i failed to meet that deadline i decided to make for no valid reason but luckily i can definitely give the goods tomorrow -- like, tomorrow tomorrow -- not the day after or before, tomorrow. and if i end up lying, i'm quitting PC out of shame.​
 
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I was apart of a convention all this past week, so I've been backed up a bit. Not to worry, the thread will be submitted soon enough. That's why I set up a Workshop thread instead of a proper thread in the first place.

If any of you would like to workshop characters for Off The Cadbury in the meantime, feel free to post/do so in this thread.[/INDENT]
Workshop/Interest check, I guess these threads can be used for whatever you need them to be used for in order to shape a functional RP that can go through the OOC approval process! Good luck with the RP, hope to see it in the thread queue soon (:
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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Hey, guys! So, I was working on some mission stuff and I thought fleshing out the guests' personalities would crop up some inspiration, and while I was doing that, I had a neat idea about the Guest List OOC game.

Like State Your Business from Cornered, there will be times in the OOC where two characters will be presented to the players (with small descriptions) and people will be free to ask them probing questions about their life, job, personality - anything! It's a great way to worldbuild and flesh out the characters we may only briefly see or interact with in-character.

There is a twist, however: much like the player characters, these NPCs have Secrets that they might admit or accidentally reveal if you look into their responses and ask the right or most thought-provoking questions. If you manage to be the one that asks the million-dollar question, you can expect some in-character benefits!

Non-players are also encouraged to join in, as if they win, they get to choose the character it benefits. Now, how this game would function is that a single person can ask up to three questions at one time to the presented characters and must wait until they receive answers before they can ask another three. These questions can be divvied up however you please - for instance, you can spend all three of your questions on one character, or you can ask two to a character and only one to the other, etc.

What do you guys think? Any questions?​
 
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Ech

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What do you guys think? Any questions?​

I actually really like how your "State Your Business" isn't just an experiment to flesh out some NPCs, but it even has the possibility to influence the players in the IC and provide them benefits. I really think OOCs need more activity; RPs shouldn't just be restricted as novellas, the medium as a whole has so much potential to be more engaging and interactive. Welcoming non-participants to join in the fun is also very commendable and I really, really wish it was more widely encouraged. I'm really glad you're doing this and expanding on it!

I personally think each player should be restricted to a few questions, as opposed to being able to ask additional inquiries after getting their response. I feel like it'd might help the players to think of more thought-provoking questions, rather than just spam generic ones like "do you enjoy your life". Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it'd be kinda nice if every NPC got variety of interesting questions -- the fact that we're able to get a reward by asking a specific one helps enforce this, though.

Also, do the players have to ask these NPCs in-character or do they have the option of asking them normally? I imagine some characters might be interested in asking specific questions relevant to their interests, as opposed to ones that could net them that juicy secret.
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
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I personally think each player should be restricted to a few questions, as opposed to being able to ask additional inquiries after getting their response.

The reason I limited it to "three at a time" is because I wanted people to get a chance to read answers and come up with new questions based on the info they just received (for instance, if I asked "what do you enjoy about your job?" and the answer included something I feel may be an inkling of the secret, I could ask a question that digs into that.)

Alternatively, I could allot every person a sum total of ... five or six or however-many questions, so they can ask 1-2 at a time if they prefer and then read the answers to theirs or other's before asking more. This sounds a bit better of a system, actually.

Also, do the players have to ask these NPCs in-character or do they have the option of asking them normally?

Yes, either way is good for me. Do you think I should encourage asking questions in-character?​
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
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So, wait, this is something that would go on in the OOC thread, but we learn more about NPCs and we can get in-character benefits?

Is this not similar to using OOC information IC?

I don't currently understand how this would work, time-wise. In mean, if our characters are asking these NPCs questions, and then we get benefits from them during the in-game six hours... When when did the questions take place in-character? It can't possibly be non-canon interviewing if our characters get perks from successful questioning.

Also, I'm going to post my SU for further critiquing in a little bit here. In a much nicer format than last time, plus the additions Kiyo inquired about.
 

Ech

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The reason I limited it to "three at a time" is because I wanted people to get a chance to read answers and come up with new questions based on the info they just received (for instance, if I asked "what do you enjoy about your job?" and the answer included something I feel may be an inkling of the secret, I could ask a question that digs into that.)

Alternatively, I could allot every person a sum total of ... five or six or however-many questions, so they can ask 1-2 at a time if they prefer and then read the answers to theirs or other's before asking more. This sounds a bit better of a system, actually.

I feel like the former could make the OOC too hectic with everyone trying to essentially interrogate the hell outta their targeted NPC. On top of that, some players might inevitably end up asking questions others wanted to ask themselves. Then again, my idea might screw over those who decide to ask their questions first since it could inadvertently allow the next player to basically seize the reward for themselves after the NPC reveals a small clue to their "secret". It's definitely not a good way of handling this event because it basically discourages people to go first, unless they don't really care about getting the benefit.

But I like the alternative a lot more, since it enables players to either play conservatively with our questions or go all out with their interrogation, both methods having their ups and downs.

Collector Elwood said:
Yes, either way is good for me. Do you think I should encourage asking questions in-character?​

Honestly, after giving it more thought, I think it'd be way more fun to play this out in-character since it also helps players bring more life into their own creations. So, yes it should be encouraged! My only concern was that some characters might not exactly ask certain questions players may ask due to their own personality and interests, but I don't really see that being a major issue that could lead into any serious out-of-character moments.
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
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I don't currently understand how this would work

This OOC game, while the guest's answers are true to the world of the roleplay, is non-canon. Your character never actually got the opportunity to ask the guest anything about their life previously, and nor does the Guest List game occur during the events of the roleplay. Anything we as an audience playing the OOC game might discover about the guests that your character doesn't explicitly discover in the IC Thread themselves can't be used against those customers. For example, if we discover Character X cannibalized their mother in The Guest List, your character IC doesn't automatically have that knowledge. Cadbury couldn't just stroll up to that guest and start screaming about how X, well, ate someone, because he doesn't actually know that.

By "benefits" I mean that, if you're the one to discover the secret, your character will come upon some sort of benefit at whatever stage they are in within the roleplay. Let's say you crack the secret out of Character X, you as a player are then given a prize like "Cadbury stumbles upon [Beneficial Item] in your next post," or "You get an extra opportunity to play Fate and have something happen to another character in their next post," etc.

If you'd like an example, here are links to some original State Your Business posts:

I'm going to post my SU for further critiquing in a little bit here.


both methods having their ups and downs

That's how I felt, no one wants to be the guy who bit the bullet and asked the first question. Perhaps we could split the difference and have people only be able to ask 1 (or 2?) questions at a time, getting another go once it's been answered, but theoretically have an unlimited amount of questions? Or, the answers aren't provided until there's at least 3 to be answered?

I think I'll just allow whatever the person feels like doing. I personally think it's way more fun and personal to ask stuff in-character, and it might be more challenging that way.​
 
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