Recent content by Kijuna

I had one post until like last month. I probably wouldn't even be posting ehre if it had pruned. >_>;;;

The May's chest thing might be debatable... but I really don't think any kids are gonna grow up to objectify women over someone who was obviously crushing on May groping her in a fanart. I mean, come on. >>; I inbreed my Pokémon all the time, but it's not like he's doing anything more than...

...Tell me you're just like, covering your ass. There are so many things wrong with this post. X_X It's not the kid that would be offended, it's their parent. and.... nothig bad is going to happen to those younger members. Nothing sexual is even happening... what, I can't eat a popsicle on a hot...

Stop typing like that, that hurt to read. My guess is because there aren't enough game designers to make something like that worthwhile.

That is correct. This sentence makes it so that the message can be sent.

Some stupid thing called Batterybot. It was shaped like a battery and it was a robot.

That makes this better than your other piece of crap, but otherwise, everything I've said about that applies to this one.

Um... I can't understand that, but I can laugh at the engrish. It was sorta funny.

Viridian is actually a dark green color, and it's a bit hard to believe that all those changes could take place over only a year. Sperate flashbacks with some kind of boarder, like *** When you have a paragraph, don't use enter inside that paragraph. It looks really weird. Just let the...

Your grammar is the worst thing I've ever seen and frankly, it makes me want to die. Aside from that, Birch isn't Max's last name and he's said many times that he wants a Treecko.

Since you're working on description, maybe you should revise your chapters seven or eight times, adding a little more each time. Good chapters take a long time to write. This sort of goes with desciption, but you need to develop ideas more. I don't know if your character is just supposed to be...

This fic was around before yours, so if anything, you copied him.

It just keeps getting worse. This is probably the sort of thing you should keep to yourself.

This is really more suited to be a prologue, describe more, and get an editor. The concept's interesting, but it needs more to back that up.

I want to go down your flaws, but the only redeeming factor I found was that your grammar was merely acceptable.