Oh wow you weren't joking. :o
I've got 5/8th gauges, with three 12g above each (used to have a 2g, but I took them out), both orbitals, a 6g in my cartilage in my right ear, my industrial in my right ear, and a two 12g cartilages piercings in my left. I also have my lip pierced on both sides and my most recent addition; my septum. And I gotta tell you, the septum piercing is easily my favorite of them all. Like, everyone on earth should get one.
I've always been curious about surface piercings. How did the hip piercing go for you? I've always wanted one but I've got reservations about healing time and hygiene.