What if Game.

Then they'd serenade each other from across the street unwittingly, organise a triste, meet, and then beat the living shit out of each other. Sounds pretty good, really.

What if Windu in the Willows was a movie?

Sam would be even richer than he is now

What if housework could do itself?

I'd probably do a lot more experimental cooking without dishes to worry about.

What if the kitchen and the bathroom was the same room.

The accidental injury rate would double and I'd die.

What if you could be Mr Miyagi's pupil?

Then I'd be the best around...

What if you could walk up walls?

I'd finally be able to get that spider.

What if you found a massive wad of money in the street, but it was in a charity box?

I would take it to the police or to the charity if they were somewhere nearby.

What if you could only see in black and white?

I'd be pissed that everyone isn't dressed in snappy clothes to make it feel genuinely old Hollywood, so I'd grease back my hair, don a suit and spend a lot of time hovering in front of the mirror and getting a James Cagney voice.

What if you were scouted by Hollywood?

I'd tell them to pack their bags because I wouldn't be packing mine.

What if you could only use chopsticks for the rest of your life?

Id be happy

What if you got locked out of your house/apartment/whatever?

I'd take the window off its hinges like last time and squeeze through. If I've grown too much since then, I'd go remove the second story of the guinea pig hutch and live in there. At least the foxes wouldn't be able to get me.

What would you do if you had the chance to play a virtual reality game that allowed you to hunt dinosaurs?

Simple, hunt dinos

What if you become the owner of pokecommunity?

I would ban Tyler.

What would you do if you were able to time travel?

I'd tell the guy who translated the Bible that the excerpt 'It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God' is wrong, and that camel is supposed to be rope!! But I guess it gives the whole thing character. So hrmm... I'd go meet James Matthew Barrie, shake his hand, revel in his imagination and die happy.

What if you could go to Neverland?

depends if i could leave or not - i think, right now at least, if i had to go forever or not go at all, i wouldn't go

what if you were five again?

I'd grizzle, have fantastic Prince Charming hair and a gorgeous tan, sulk in a corner, threaten to commit suicide if I didn't get that jam doughnut, bite someone, chase the cat, scrape off my chin on a deck chair, regrow the lost skin in a day, be gobsmackingly offensive and get my butt smacked for it.

So, I'd just relive the past, really.

What if you were trapped in Jim Henson's Labyrinth?

I'd go in the opposite direction to what the worm said. Going straight to the castle would save sooooo much time.

What if you could go to the moon?

I would, no matter how terrifying and godlessly lonely it'd be. Every once and a while, you need a sharp contrast in your life just to give you a sense of proportion and a more refined sense of gratitude.

What if you suddenly realised that you're a gigantic spider?

My eight legs would all break as I tried to run away from myself as fast as I could.

What if you could only eat doughnuts for the rest of your life?

Provided I could change the ingredients, therefor the calorie intake, I wouldn't get fat - merely angry and a bit manic depressive about the whole thing.

What if you could rear a pet dragon?