Dear Anonymous,
I, hmmm, I'm not quite sure what to say here. Not because it's hard, though, mostly because there's too much to say. I feel, well, awful really. You're not asking for a lot out of me but still.. I don't think I am capable of, nor want to, return that to you. That's not to say I don't like you though! Which is where it gets confusing for me. Because I do, I really do like you... So I keep questioning myself, like, why is it so hard? And from everything that I've been able to gather it's because it just doesn't feel right for me. I don't like myself when I respond to you and I hate myself even more for putting you off because it's only making the divide between us larger-- which is the one thing I hate most of all. I don't ever want to be a source of tension for you, let alone in our own friendship. It's just that though, friendship, it's the only thing I can really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, give to you. Because after all this time of wondering and questioning I've discovered it's the only thing I ever really felt. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry. I was just confused and a little scared and if there's anything I do need from you (as if I'm in any position to ask, heh); it's to be that friend for me. Not anything more, not anything less.
Oh, and if you ever confront me about this, I'm going to deny it.