Amaruuk
[span="letter-spacing: -2px;"][b]└──[/b]►[/span]TY
- 1,302
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- Age 36
- She/Her
- Seen Aug 22, 2024
One day last week, the lake thing behind my apartment building was frozen over, and I, a grown woman, was playing with sticks and rocks and sliding them across the ice, right by the gate where people come in or leave. I didn't care what they thought. It was fun! I have a tendency to enjoy things in a much more child-like manner, like driving to the store or finding someplace new is a "mission" or "adventure" to me. Needless to say, I have lots of adventures. With this frame of mind, everything's exciting!I like being different. I mean being normal can be overrated sometimes because you can't always fit in with other crowds. You end up fending for yourself most of the time and it's better than being put into some stereotype where you really don't belong.
I've never followed trends. I do things a child would do, not what a young adult would and that makes me really different. I mean I have kids that are under fourteen who used to play with me and make friends with me. XD Because I had a childish personality and could relate to the games they played.
Hell, I didn't stop playing with barbies and hot wheels cars until I was about eight or nine. :'D
I still collect lots of stuffed animals and plushes and even watch cartoons all the time. <3
I even carry my Inuyasha plush everywhere I go and bring him inside public places. People stare but I don't care. I have my reasons and it used to be that my mom hated me with my plush but my dad knew it was more of a comfort object so he convinced her to let me carry it and she stopped trying to tell me to leave it home.
See, when I don't have my plush with me, I start to worry more about things that might happen when he isn't with me and I even panic. When I do have him, I feel at ease and calm about things and sometimes I even talk to people I don't know, but if I didn't have him then, it would be different.
There are times when i find myself sniffing him for sensory input or like...banging the back of his head on my leg. XD Sometimes just hugging him for comfort too.
It all just keeps me really calm so I don't go into a huge panic and meltdown. XD I usually don't do any autistic odd behaviors in public, accept maybe move around or pace and sometimes when I sit, I rock back and forth because when I'm around alot of people, I get a bit nervous and sometimes being alone in the car makes me do those odd behaviors too, since I'm trying to comfort myself but usually I look around more anxiously too and I want to curl up into a ball and hide from those people. D:
Does that ever happen to you?
I've had lots of comfort objects over the years. Most of the time a comfort object will relate to my current interests or obsessions. I'm a very fickle person, so of course there have been a lot of them over 20 years. I don't get quite as attached to them as I used to, and I no longer feel the need to have them in public, but it wasn't all that long ago when I used to. One of the ones I had in 10th grade or so was a Vegeta action figure. I brought it to school daily. Naturally, the kids all thought I was just some obsessed freak.
When I was growing up, and even now to a much lesser degree, I couldn't get enough stuffed animals. Every vacation, every trip to the mall, the school fair, etc. I would usually come home with at least one. Almost all of them are at mom's or dad's house, along with the overwhelming majority of my other treasures. I hope to get all of that stuff down here to my place soon. I worry about it all way too much.
Also, about sound, life as a college student is basically putting up with noise no matter where you are. With all the noise floating around, I just can't seem to understand why I'm the only one that's so bothered by it. Everyone else either makes the noise, or can ignore it. I can't. Why doesn't anyone understand? They just expect me to ignore it, too. I don't think it's fair to have that much noise in what's supposed to be a learning environment and be scoffed at 'cause I'm the only one who wants peace and quiet. I will never understand young adults. Cranky old people aren't the only ones who want noisy youngsters to turn their damn music down.