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Crying is for losers....but I can't help it

Sonata

Sonata

Trickling away
    • 13,648
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    12
    Years
    • Seen Feb 17, 2025
    When was the last time you cried?

    Today me and my friends were sitting at the library talking about something and somehow our conversation switched to talking about exes and he was going to go a different way with it when I started taking it down the depressing route. Talking about how you had that special girl and you'd never felt so happy, then a little while goes by and either you or her break it off. Then the months go by and you finally think you're over her until one day you smell something that reminds you of her and then all of those feelings come rushing back and all of the memories along with them. Every thought you'd been trying to suppress for so long finds an escape at long last and you just feel your heart fold in on itself and twist all around in your chest until all of the air has been squeezed out of you and you're in so much pain that you just start crying because there's nothing else you can do to get rid of the feeling. It had been about a year for me and one of my friends since the last time we'd cried and I started crying as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth and he started in towards the end cursing me and all of my depressed-ness.
     
    I don't remember the last time I cried, but I really try not to in front of people, especially my boyfriend. I'm a small cutesy person that looks younger than I actually am, so I'm afraid people will see me crying and take it more as a child crying or something, and I'm not a child. I also don't want my boyfriend to see me cry because...I just don't. I have something about me that, in a sense (there's no better way to explain it), makes me want to be "the man" and that includes not crying.

    That dumb ho put on that Goofy movie where Max goes to college and that scene where he left his teddy bear GOT ME SO BAD and he totally saw me cry. Then he gave me a big hug that I didn't want and he changed the movie to Aristocats. lol

    Now that I think about it, last time I cried was probably because of a movie or a game...hm.
     
    The last time I cried is because my parents are kinda like rejecting me and don't like me. You know how it feels when your own parents rejected you, it's really, really a bad feels for someone like me who wants time with my own parents.
     
    The last time I cried was yesterday when I found out my novel was rejected by the publishers.
     
    Last Saturday was the last time I cried. We have to write an essay about our lives in my English class, and I broke down in tears while writing some paragraphs. Lol I get emotional about these type of things.
     
    I can't remember the last time I really cried. It's been a while since the only time I actually sob cry is due to a meltdown. I honestly can't remember the last time that was.

    There was a time when I did cry so bad though. I was obsessed with Ponyo when it first started to advertise in the US. Like, full on obsession we are talking here. I wanted to see the movie the first day, but my dad said no. It broke me because I felt like my obsession with it came crashing down like shattered glass. Well, I had a HUGE meltdown over it. It got worse when they advertised it WHILE I WAS CRYING TOO, so I actually cried even more. DX

    We did go see it, but it was two or three days after it came out... so it turned out okay.

    Come to think of it though, I remember crying once because I felt like a failure and a monster before. It was when I began cutting too, but I stopped after a while since things got kind of better for me, even though I still feel like a failure sometimes though. D:
     
    The last time I cried was two days ago.
     
    Several months after my Grandma died, there was a commercial for some car showing a guy about my age taking his grandma out to the woods and doing nature type stuff with her. I didn't cry when she died, but I did when I saw that commercial... that was 1-2 years ago now though, and of course, when I say cry, I mean maybe 1 tear... but it's the closest I've got in like a decade.
     
    Mmm, it was yesterday if I recall, on Skype. I won't go into details, but I went from hearty happiness to hollowing sadness to vicious anger and back to numbing sadness then to a resentful anger and finally cooling down and going into a mellowing happiness, all in the span of about ten minutes. Yeah, not fun. :/
     
    Today. I cried from laughter because I was battling my friend on the battle server, and I was too haxed.

    He missed 2 times in a row, was unable to move because of paralyze several time and you should have seen his reaction lmao.
     
    I actually can't remember the last time I cried. Damn. I mean, I have tears on my eyes sometimes when I wake up, but I don't think that counts lol.
     
    OKAY SO THIS IS MY FAULT BUT last weekend I went to a party around midnight and I hadn't eaten since 2pm and I had taken an adderall earlier and then I was smoking at the party and then I started drinking and I just fainted. In front of everyone though and I barely knew anyone there so I was pretty embarrassed. Mainly embarrassed because I wasn't even slightly tipsy I just straight up fainted. Anyway I played it off but then when I got home I cried a little lol.
     
    like, Saturday, at the end of American Beauty. prior to that it had been a year or two, so I dunno what that movie did to stir my emotions heh
     
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