Dear Anonymous(es),
Life has many mysteries -- many things about it that we can't understand. We try and try so hard to understand, and we almost always end up giving up because we realize we can't. Either this, or the willpower to understand is very short-lived, and we move onto a less complicated subject. It takes a lot to come out of your comfort zone and to think deeply about something in attempts to make it understandable ; afterall, life is more comfortable that way. It usually takes a special person these days to lock onto something and never give up on understanding how it ticks. When we can understand everything, we're at peace in our minds and aren't finding ourselves busting our brains after all of the thought. We find that when we relate in some form, understanding becomes easier. Afterall, that's why God appeared in the form of a man -- a Father figure. This is to give us all a way to relate in some form to Him, and in turn : understand Him better. Now I'm not here to preach to you about God, but He is quite the example of such a thing. Where am I going with all this you ask? I've found myself in situations where I can understand others perfectly, without even having to relate. So what I'm getting at is... why can no one ever understand me? And maybe in turn, relate to me?
Is there really nothing about me that can be understood? Or is it just that humanity has lost the willpower to understand their fellow man? Now that just can't be... can it? ... There are still many things I don't fully understand in life, and this happens to be one of them. I find myself more often that not, completely puzzled when in contact with others. Whenever emotions become intense on either side, I always manage to mess up somehow to the un-opened heart of the other. Then when I mess up, I can never figure out what to do for this un-opened heart to ease their pain. I have a good reason behind everything I do, but it seems no one ever wants to hear what that reason is. Most of it is left completely to assumption, and I'm left completely to ruin that I could have fixed if only the other side of the tango had opened their mind. I'm not a complicated person, I'm not high maintenance, and there's no need for effort at all to get along with me. If you feel you have to make an effort to make it work with me, or feel I'm too complex, chances are your mind is shut to me. You leave everything to assumption, to past knowledge from "similar" experiences in an attempt to explain what I do, and you completely leave out any possibility for new knowledge to enter the mind. In all honesty, I am speaking towards many people when I say these things. Truly, this is unfair to me.
If opening your mind to me is an effort, maybe there needs to be some changes in today's world. If there is conflict, the best way to handle it with me is to approach me with respect and ask me what my reasoning is. Give me specifics if you can. When you approach me telling me how disappointed you are in me, don't speak to me at all, ignore me when I have the ability to speak to you, and/or throw out your assumptions towards me in a rude manner, you won't have positive results. If this is odd behavior to you, or unacceptable, just think how I must feel then when I get such a terrible response to the mistakes I make. Everyone makes mistakes, let me mess up sometimes without turning into a total jerk. I can't get along well with you, solve the problem, or explain myself if you can't even respect me enough to be nice when if/you approach me. I'm unapproachable because you give me reason to be. I'm a very kind, very loving person who will give their all to you if you show a little love -- a little compassion, even. I may come off harsh and cruel at times, but I promise you there is always a good reason behind it. I don't behave that way just because I feel like it. :/
There are only two steps to understanding me... approach kindly, and ask. I'm not going to bite your head off if you give me the time of day. I feel I am a beautiful person who deserves respect, and I can be one of your greatest friends as long as you give me that little bit of love. Leave the past behind you, and I will too. I'm a special equal, and I hope to be able to give you all the love I have in this heart of mine. Take that step forward. :]
I hope you'll meet me half-way,
That nervous girl