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Dear Anonymous

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Dear Anon,


Are you forbidden from telling me how you honestly feel, or are you just full of shit? I asked out of you one extradordinary favour that really ought to be expected out of a parent who's doing more than the bare minimum. I proposed you find a smaller place to rent and me find my own living arrangement so as to ease me into living independently, and to let me get up off of you. We both know it's more than plausible financially, and all you have is "no?" That you're doing so much as a parent as it is, doing, uh, what did you say... ensuring I'm not mowed over in high school? Is that all you have?

I'm also beyond exhausted listening to you explicitly fucking say each and every god damn thing you're going to execute with volumes upon volumes of unnecessary warnings and preparations. I'm sick of watching you ingest Spectrum Magazine like a parenting text book. I have seen those dribbling idiots, and I am not them. They are unassertive, docile, and lack charisma and furthermore are missing loads of further thought. They are regular. I am not. I have despised all of these labels and categorizations you've taken advantage of for petty social and monetary gain at my expense. I am not special because doctors say I am, I'm not unique because of some garbage self esteem movement. My Autism is negative points on my profile in reality. I am unique for much more logical and straightforward reasons than you ever admit, and I'm frankly tired of your behaviour towards me. You're irrational, and rude at that. This is what's called setting me up for failure - and I'm intelligent enough to realize I'm going to have to catch up in my twenties where you failed miserably. It's ludicrous that I have to actively fight your counterproductive parenting.


Above all else I'm tired of your shit-eating negativity being plastered into me to have it runneth over into other more important facets of my life. PC shouldn't have to deal with me being angry over something small and irrelevant all the time, saying stupid shit because I feel like shit. That's you.
 
Dear anon.

Thanks for showing up unannounced and eating all of my damn food, thanks. Makes even more sense you saying that I shouldn't have these things because they're too tempting. What would I do without you? Be happier? Save money? Probably.
 
DA,

I don't hardly get lonely even though I should... but you don't understand how much I'd appreciate your comfort rn. I'm not getting anything from hardly anyone else and it makes me feel unloved

I'm sorry I clawed at our past relationship but I really don't have anyone else, and you're nice. I want things to be better. I'll do whatever

Please don't complain when I say I lack friends, I don't mean you
 
Dear Anonymous,

I'm glad it's you :) I always approved of you, somehow. And now I know it was with good reason. Let's become real friends this time.
 
DA,

What you told me hurts. Even though it was something that happened many years ago, even though we were both way different people, it was a dick move. And now that you've told me that you tried to abandon me, that's brought back all sorts of fears. The fear that I don't know people as well as I thought. The fear of rejection, abandonment. The fear that someone will do that again. Every little thing makes me worry. I hate that. I was over that shit. And you just came in and with one little fact shattered my confidence. I was doing so well. Now I'm scared again. Scared that my current boyfriend will do something like that. I know he won't, but for a person with anxiety? Objective knowledge doesn't really take away that fear.
 
DA,

Your logic and reason is a beautiful beast clad in platinum-checkered titanium, doused in a rain of sweet-n-spicy humour. I love you for that, no homo. <3
 
DA,

It's lovely having a new perspective on you. You're a little bloody when I'm not looking but are excellent at your partial masquerade of who you appear as. I still wanna hang around you, too. Let's be friends. ;)
 
Dear Anonymous,

Birthday's around the corner, though I know it's going to flop. If I had my way I wouldn't even be celebrating by going out on the town. My best friend won't be coming, nor will the few people who I actually enjoy being in the company of, and I fear that the ones that are going are simply doing it to pity me, the introvert who has always been alone. It'd be a massive flop, I'd get shafted as per usual and all in all, I could do without the fanfare. Too many other concerns on my plate to care about fitting in. Please god let March pass on in a hurry.
 
Dear Anonymous,

You've broken me more times than I can comprehend. You're the puzzle I'm not sure I'll ever figure out. I can't tell you what draws me to you, or how you manage to make me drop out of all sense just by saying hello again. I know you're afraid of commitment, and so am I believe me. Who knows if that's your reason for pulling me close every few months, only to disappear like garden dew on a clear afternoon.

You should know how I feel now, it's no longer just a hint but a painting I've made for you to view. I'm not afraid of rejection, but I'm even less frightened about taking a risk on you. If it goes too far and you're not happy with it then neither am I. For each of my days from birth to present I have stood as a resilient island in the ocean. But you, you erode my coast, tearing me apart stone by stone, only because I want to give in to you.

We're more alike than I ever imagined, except I've been where you are before. It's a lonely, brooding place. You're better than that, escape it with me. My outstretched arm won't remain waiting for you to take it forever.

G
 
Dear anonymous,


I'm so sorry. I made one mistake, months ago, and it's finally come to bite me in the ass, even though I made sure I didn't do anything else as dumb. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. I hope you don't because you mean so much to me. I just wish there was something I could do.
 
DA,

You don't strike me as the type most compatible with me, but I don't really see that as a bad trait. You act so shy and submissive to things but being around you doesn't sound like such an outlandish proposition, really. I could see how folks may think overwise. I hermit way too much and trying new things like what you were already doing could be fun! My parents surely won't be taking me anywhere and I'm always of the mind to try something new. Maybe we could work on some things together - I have projects going with this other dude and he's getting so carried away smh



DA,

Stop waking up and harassing me over some secondary issue in the middle of the night out of fucking nowhere. Acknowledge that you have a caffeine addiction for Christ's sake. You're not just all of a sudden angry over my medication. You've gotten this drug when you wake up for the past thirty years and need to realize that.
 
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Dear Anonymous -

I really do get that you're hurt over your heartbreak, but you're the one who decided to end your relationship. I've been your anchor for a while now, a light to guide you, but you just stand there absorbing my help but not acting on it. My advice can only go so far, you need to do your part as well. Honestly, when you come to me for all of your problems with her and don't even try talking to her, then what do you expect? I just hope you can find it in yourself to move on, you've got such a long future ahead of you. I'm sure you both will stay friends too, so no worries there. Honestly, all of us know you mean well, so don't be too hard on yourself, just learn from your mistakes and move on.
 
Dear Anonymous,

I can't believe a single changed lyric would be the one thing to crack my wall from you. I never thought the change from blonde to brown would let me inside my emotion for you... and now I'm so distraught I don't know what to do.

I abandoned everything for you and then you abandoned me, leaving me with nothing... and a broken heart. What did I do to deserve that?

What was so hard about talking over our problems, wildflower? Were you afraid I'd burn you? I would never have, and I told you that. I remember recounting such insane possibilities of your actions and how I'd still love you all the same, but you never took advantage of that ever-forgiving love I gave you, and that has hurt me just as well.

We had so much fun together - fun I'd never had with another. Every kind of fantasy of ours felt like an inevitable reality, as if the moment I went to get you I would have you in my arms and over my shoulder. Everything we thought about and did together as a Unit was some future reality, and we both knew it. It made us all the more excited.
...what happened?

I should rest now.
 
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Dear Anonymous

How long do I have to wait until I can control my own life? There you are, jeopardizing the only thing I want to do for my birthday by inviting the same 'acquaintances' that made it crystal clear to me months ago that they all meet up on a regular basis without me.

Where you not listening to a signle thing I said last night?

No, because you never listen to me. And it's true what dad says; you're trying to relive your youth through me.

Thanks for that. Really. And thanks for causing me to take a bad turn down misery lane for the second time in a week, too. I'd absolutely despise you if we weren't blood related.
 
Dear Anonymous,

I know it may be hard for you to understand, but I really want to move on with this project. I have single-handedly developed the website out of nothing, and created every image myself and made all of the aesthetic choices. Our other partner has contributed funding for the whole project, kindly giving us a backbone with an OVH server. I just can't do it with you hanging around like an old dead goose, and as much as you'd like to have credit with leading and being an executive I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.

I don't mean this in a rude way, but you need to mature more before something like this is feasible. And I really don't want things to go south - I want the transition to my authority to be smooth, I want to keep the domain we have. When I lay the facts down for you I pray you have the intelligence to take it in stride and the sense to know your limits. You have these really big ideas that always fall on their faces, and you committed me to this project and pretty much left me to do everything. I am it's rightful creator because of that, not you. The other guy gets credit for funding and support, and he's serious about it too. I'm sorry, but I have to sever this. It's in all our interests.
 
DA,

I'm too curious for my own good regarding that thing. I won't even ask.



DA,

You're getting my hopes up and I don't think that's a good thing because what if things don't go the way I want? I'll cope though. I know what's important and what's shrug shrug.
 
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