Going out, dates, etc.

[Serene Grace]

Just wanted to take people's opinions on going out (or dating).

What do you think about it? Have you ever been on a date? Do you date much? If you're in a relationship, do you think dating helps your relationship? (especially if you don't see your significant other very frequently) If you're single, is dating the best way to tell someone you like them? (without explicitly saying it) And, finally, is dating (or rather rejecting the idea of dating a particular person) the best way to let someone know you're not interested? As opposed to them asking you for a full on relationship and you having to let them down then?

Sorry about the bad grammar/formatting, my brain is kind of asleep at the moment. Also, you don't have to answer the above questions nail and tooth! Feel free to pick one, two, or all to answer; or you can even go on about something completely different (as long as it has to do with dating!), I just want opinions.

Cheers, looking forward to your replies!

 

[Esper]

I guess they're okay if you don't have a way of meeting people, but dates are awkward. I've been on fewer "official" dates than I have fingers on one hand. Most of the people I've ever had feelings for were people I already knew and could see on non-date terms and I think that's a better way of doing it. Dates have all these little social cues and scripted responses that you're supposed to say and it all seems like way too much work for not actually getting to know someone because you only see their dating persona.

 

[Oryx]

I would like some more real dates. I don't usually do them but it's nice and it makes you feel really special when someone is taking you out on a date. But I see my boyfriend either every day or not at all (depending on where we each are in the world) so dates are either unnecessary or not an option, haha. I find the idea of dating when I'm a bit older really nice though, because right now everyone pretty much just either commits to one person or has no one at all, they don't date. I'd like to get a little older and be able to go on a date with no commitment, just spend time with someone. If that makes sense.

 

[Kano Shuuya]

You know what, I've only ever been in love with one person IRL, it started a long time ago, a looong time ago, and I didn't go for it when I had the chance. Aside from that, I always have guys that hit on me, or ask me out, but I have no desire to want to be in a relationship with guys, so. :/ I've also never met girls who swung that way for us to actually date, and yeah. That's that. I also didn't care about dating at all until I was well out of high school. It's still not a main focus.

Online wise, I've fallen for guys and girls, because it's online.. Also, obviously you can't physically date in that situation.

 

[Rogue planet]

I've only ever got together with friends loll; and then there's just no reason to date, you already know each other you just spend time together like you always did with ~added intimacy~. The whole dating thing just doesn't really suit me, I couldn't see myself ever wanting to hook up with someone who I don't know that well.

 

[Ayselipera]

I've never been out on a date, but to be honest if I went out with someone I was already dating I probably wouldn't consider wherever we end up going "a date." I would see it more as hanging out with them as I would think I would do regularly anyways. I think really I would enjoy hanging out with them in a regular setting more so than going out anywhere special. Not that I wouldn't like it though.

I really wouldn't like dates if they were with someone I didn't know that well. I rather go to something like a fancy dinner with someone I'm already close with so we can laugh and be silly rather than awkwardly try to make conversation with someone I only sort of know. In that case I would probably want to hang out at your house or some place comfortable, watch a movie, get to know you without all the extra stuff, etcetc.

 

[Nick]

Dating, to me, is for purposely finding someone to start a relationship with. If you're looking for a relationship, dates are a good way to go to start one. I have been on a date before, but the only time I go out on a date with someone is when I'm already in a relationship with them. I've never been on a date with someone I didn't know already or that I was meeting for the first time. That's just how it's been for me so far.

I'd probably start dating to get to meet people when I'm at that age in my life where coming across people is harder to do (when I don't go to school) and am looking for a relationship with someone, but until then, there are other ways of meeting people and I'm not looking to settle down into a serious relationship with someone.

I don't think dating helps or harms a relationship. It's just quality alone time with someone, or going out and having a fun time with them. It can go poorly, or it can go really well. It's pretty much just a normal time out, but because it's labeled a date, it feels different from a normal time out with them. The act of dating itself doesn't automatically make it good or bad, though. The best way to tell someone you like them is to show them. The best way to let someone know you're not interested is to just outright say hey, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.

 

[Cid]

I'll be answering this with Serene Grace's questions as a template.

I've never dated. But I do like the thought of dating. I don't know why, but maybe having no experience in something like it makes it feel really special on its own. Mr. Patchisou Yutohru has a nice definition on dating, and following that, I agree that it's a good way to look for a relationship. It's intended to be special, at least over here anyway, so I'm not one to talk negatively about dating.

Albeit I don't think I've ever been in a relationship, I think dating helps it in a way. You have to spend time and get to know with your partner, of course, and what better way to do it than with a date! I am single, but I think dating isn't the best way-- probably because it's not the only way, to show how much you love someone. There are tons of things to do to get close without the formalities, casually talk about your interests, talk sweetly between each other, do stuff you love, and the list goes on. Aaand, I think dating is the one of the simpler opportunities to say you're not interested in someone, probably because it's meant for you to check how compatible you two are in the first place.

And having said that, I'd actually like to experience it someday. Hopefully with someone special.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I hate dating, I find it incredibly awkward. I'd rather just find somebody you like and sort of strike up a friendship with them, and get to a romantic relationship that way. But yeah, I have gone on dates before. It's not something I make a habit of though, there's too much pressure in it.

 

[oocyst]

I've been on date once, and it was such a failed date. This guy that I used to go to school with turned out to be gay, and he was all like 'let's go on a date', so I agreed. We went to a movie, but we were both too shy to say anything. So we watched a movie and then went home after that and we never saw eachother again. I'd love to date around but right now I can't bring myself to it, it's too awkward and scary!

 

[Dreg]

I've never been on a date before, or anything like that. Never really been interested.

 

[Archenoth]

I have been on a date with someone that I wanted to have as a girlfriend. It went well, and there is definitely something there, but things haven't really developed.

They are brutal if you are with someone you genuinely care for when you happen to be timid and reserved normally, they really mean something, but I don't think they should just be with random people.

 

[Dawn]

Naah... modern dating just comes off as stupid to me. In the past dating was something you did with friends to decide if they were right for marriage. It was not a relationship in any way shape or form. Then somehow, somewhere it got turned into some silly girlfriend boyfriend stunt that I all the cool teens did.

 

[Her]

Well, I've only ever been on one proper date... and the person I went out with is now my boyfriend, lol. I usually stayed away from the dating scene; I found it too awkward, too forced and I preferred just waiting to strike up a conversation with someone and go on from there. I mean, I wouldn't mind having a date every now and then, I'd just like to hang out with my boyfriend and not have to go into overdrive fretting about whether the date will go well or not.

 

[Kenshin5]

I have been on several dates since I have been with my gf for the past 4 months. As far as how much we date I don't really know what the parameters of what a date may be. I don't really see it as a date but just hanging out with a friend and someone I love so I don't look too deeply into it. Again I don't know what I would really call a date, being together helps without a doubt, which I try and do as often as possible. Not to mention it helps that we work together because I see her at least 4-5 days a week. For me I don't see it as a date but just one person to another enjoying each others company in whatever atmosphere we are in at the time.

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

I've never been on a date. I've never gone beyond the "crush" stage. But I think I'd be uncomfortable on the traditional date since (a) I'm not interested in non-anime movies, and (b) my date would probably want to go to one of those fancy restaurants where I can't get burgers and fries xD

 

[Squirrel]

I've been on quite a few dates in the past, mainly with exs, but it's awkward when you hate their guts... I usually got taken on dates as apologies etc in my last relationship so not a great history with them. :3 I'd prefer something like sitting at home with take-away and movies and cuddling or something, that just sounds like way more fun to me :3 It'd be fun to go on some dates just so I can show off my boyfriend and there are some situations which definitely call for it, but most of the time I think there are much better alternatives :3

 

[Alex]

I used to think that dating was the best way to romanticize someone. I mean, it's a good way. You kind of force yourself alone with that person and see if you guys can manage to keep the situation comfortable and enjoyable. I've also just invited girls over to my place to watch a movie, or vice-versa. Both seem to work fine.

I rather like dates. It's more of a challenge, almost? I mean, when you're sitting alone in a room with someone, cuddling in front of a movie....kind of obvious where things are headed. On a date, you're out in public. Not as easy. I try to make my dates as fun as possible. I've grown to resent movie dates, though. The best date I've had was getting baked and going to an art gallery. That was a ton of fun, and then I think we went to the bar afterward. (I'm getting all emotional thinking about my previous romances...)

Dates are better. They require more. If you want to have physical fun then cuddle in front of a movie. But watch out, cause you'll get attached to the physicality. At least, I do. But take a girl out, treat her right... that's the better way of doing it.

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

I've never dated. But I do like the thought of dating. I don't know why, but maybe having no experience in something like it makes it feel really special on its own. Mr. Patchisou Yutohru has a nice definition on dating, and following that, I agree that it's a good way to look for a relationship. It's intended to be special, at least over here anyway, so I'm not one to talk negatively about dating.

Maybe I'm just naive, but I really like this POV. All of my experiences with the subject have been awkward and resulted in a not-entirely-pleasant time. But things like this make me hopeful that dates can be a start of something new, and not simply awkward foreplay into something equally as awkward.