How do you gain confidence?

[Shining Raichu]

So, PokeCommunity, it seems that a lot of our members don't have a lot of confidence. We think we're awkward, we have a myriad of exhausting social phobias and we're generally found in front of a computer reading about life instead of living it. So instead of letting it continue, why don't we do something about it? Let's remedy the problem instead of lamenting it.

So let's begin brainstorming, guys. The confident people are welcome to come in and help the others.

How do we overcome a lack of confidence?

 

[Khilia]

When we were treating my PSch, my psychiatrist told me that self-confidence is a very important thing and we'd need to build it up at first.
The problem is, I didn't know how, but apparently just trying to be socially more active seemed to be something I could do
The next problem is that it's rather difficult for me to do so, at school I'm not really talking to anyone, and if I ever utter something it's just above anyones' head
as well the city I live in is pretty much a ghost town, there's nothing to do in your free time over here (if you'd have any)
my insane shyness towards anyone and the depression I've been stuck in for very long isn't really helping either, so I had to look for other ways to treat myself...
Thus I pretty much ended up conversing with people over the internet, because it's by far, and with that I mean by far easier to talk with anyone for me, and it's actually very fun as well
And people noticed that that changed my IRL behavior as well, I mean, sometimes I like actually talk to people and such in contrary to about one~two years ago

 

[Meganium]

I overcome it by actually doing things instead of watching people doing it. There will be times that I'll be like "uh okay no I better stop before someone makes fun of me" and other times I'll be like "YEAH I CAN DO DIS THING."

If you feel okay for doing said thing, don't hold yourself back like I do frequently. You'll miss out.

this was supposed to be a tl;dr but it's almost 6 am and i was like "naaah"

 

[Nick]

Feel good music (about things like how great you are, your abilities, conquering the world, overcoming an obstacle, etc.), nice clothes and cooperative hair. Those are the things that affect my confidence the most and its almost entirely reliant on them (at least my it is with my clothes and hair).

 

[Outlier]

lol Raichu is holding an intervention for us. I suggest we make more threads about our problems just to piss him off. No but he has a point. It's a lot easier to talk about what's wrong with you then to fix it.

I wish I could contribute some productive advice but I don't think I have any, or at least nothing comes to mind right now. I'll be following this thread very closely though.

 

[Puddle]

This is normally a hard step for someone who isn't confident, but you just need to believe that you're beautiful, that you're awesome, that you're amazing. Because everyone of you out there is! You just have to believe it yourself, and people will start telling you it more. It all comes from yourself first, and once you sort of branch out, people will start to compliment you more and more thus giving you more confidence.

You also need to make sure that people don't get to you. This society is so ****** and 99% of the time, when someone is making fun of you, they are jealous of some trait that you have that they don't. So just remember that, keep your head high and walk away. You don't need to let people like that get the best of you.

Sorry if I worded this wrong, but that's the advice I got.

 

[Guillermo]

initially i was an extremely shy kid and wouldn't partake in anything, but as i grew up and started socialising i realised that the world wasn't as big and scary as i thought. i'd say the easiest way for anyone to gain confidence is receiving compliments from others, but as far as self-inflicted confidence, trying things you wouldn't normally try and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone are good places to start...

 

[TheZenTraveler]

Hmm, It may be beneficial for someone to be eased into confidence building situations through a hobby or sport... I've found it's easier to feel more at ease about things when surrounded by people who share some common interests with you. Being more at ease about your surroundings normally boosts your confidence as well... kind of like the home field advantage is supposed to give a psychological confidence boost to a sports team...

I hope this helps a little bit...

 

[Outlier]

Try not to psyche yourself out, even if you have low self esteem or some type of social disorder. I think a lot of people just give up on themselves without really giving life a proper go.

 

[DomesticYak]

TBH I feel like I can really open up on forums such as these where as in real life I am really introverted..

 

[Mark Kamill]

1.Buy yourself some new clothes. If you have done so recently, then that's good. I feel nothing really helps you psychologically more then some good fitting, good looking clothes. Its an external form of self expression that helps you build an identity. An identity is good, as it attracts the attention of others. And why's that? Because you sub-consciously feel good about how you're expressing yourself in that way, and thus you show a level of self appreciation and confidence in yourself. I know it doesn't make sense much, but if for me self respect is necessary for building confidence, as you don't focus too much on yourself with your body language, and you're generally more outward going if your focusing more on your environment then yourself. I know, this post sounds like a mess, but this logic helped me more or less many times.

 

[Kikaito plush]

To build it up I need an whole week to ready for what I am going to do.

 

[Faye Rose~]

Talking with people who are kind and supportive helps my confidence. When I'm alone and not conversing I begin to think bad, pessimistic thoughts and it gets me depressed and I lose confidence. But it seems to go away a little when I'm talking to people about things instead of thinking about them.

 

[Controversial?]

I used to be really socially awkward, and now I'm incredibly outgoing when I want to be.
I'm not writing an essay, so I'll have a channel that I watch all the time do it for me. This is primarily about social anxiety (from underconfidence), but can apply to anything. Seriously, if this video was made 2-3 years ago, it would have changed me from what I was then into what I am today immediately.

I hope I can help someone here.



Tbh, I kind of did the same tghing. I started pushing myself to talk to people, it sucked at first cos I was awkward and nervoius and now it's second nature.

 

[Shining Raichu]

007, this thread is an attempt to help people. I'm not trying to turn people into me or force them into one of these moulds you so desperately want to avoid. Nor am I trying to tell people that it's not good enough to spend their lives sitting in front of a computer. If anybody here is perfectly happy existing as they are, then carry on.

But there are people who aren't happy, and I see them talk about it in this particular forum quite frequently. These are the people I wish to reach. My suspicion is that you're one of them, and as misery loves company you're clasping at straws to keep them right where they are under the guise of not being a conformist.

So if I'm wrong and you're happy as you are, then I wish you the best. If you're not and you'd like some help, feel free to join in the conversation. But if you're going to complain about an attempt to set up a support system for those who want to change or better their lives, then I suggest you turn around right now and stay out of their way.

 

[Livewire]

Confidence comes from demonstrated ability. To become confident, you have to be brave enough to try at something, knowing that you will possibly fail, and keep at it until you improve, despite any setbacks. Practice does make perfect. You've got to be willing to take a leap of faith.

 

[Honest]

Give zero ****s. Seriously, that's how I roll. Has it got me into trouble, yes, but it's also worked in my favor more times than I can count. Not the best method, but so long as I learn something from failure, then I'm fine.

 

[Nathan]

Give zero ****s.

It's way harder than it seems for certain people.

I'm terribly afraid of failure so that's why I hate to try some kind of things. Any tips?

 

[Honest]

It's way harder than it seems for certain people.

I'm terribly afraid of failure so that's why I hate to try some kind of things. Any tips?

Oh, I'm aware. But I don't think people can help people in regards to being braver. They can give advice and such, but you can carry someone only so far. At one point, they'll be on their own, and it's up to them. I guess moral support might help, but in the heat of the moment, eh. Not to be Negative Nancy.

 

[Evening]

I just think that I lose myself when I'm not confident.
Being a coward or a shy person is just not my thing.