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I like you and you and you

Bellsprout

.
3,315
Posts
10
Years
    • Seen Jan 1, 2023
    Are you one of those poeple who have 10,000 crushes or does it take a lot for you to like someone?

    If you're the former, why do you think it's so easy for you to start developing feelings for other people? Do you ever pursue any of them? Do they develop quickly? Fade quickly?

    If you're the latter, why do you think it's harder for you to develop feelings for other people? Once you do like someone do you pursue them? What does it take to get your attention?
     
    Goo

    Goo

    Fiction is an improvement on life
    393
    Posts
    13
    Years
    • I think there's a theme going on in CCC today.

    I do tend to like people easily and it never really fades but I push everyone away that likes me to the point I find getting into a relationship to be a challenge. This seems to do a pretty good job of keeping me in check. Because I cant trust my feelings I tend to use logic to determine if I should go for it or not. I tend to prefer this because although I'll get hurt a little more or sad or frustrated, when I do make a decision I know I can stick by it, and that's better for everyone involved.
     

    Zorogami

    WUB WUB
    2,164
    Posts
    11
    Years
    • Haha there definitely is something going on today...

    I used to be the former type, having a new crush almost every week. I think i just really liked the people i had crushes on, i maybe i was just too young, or inexperienced, to differentiate between liking someone and having actual romantic feelings for them. As to why, im a very sociable person who loves spending time with friends, so yeah.

    As for now, i almost never get crushes on anyone. It really takes a lot for me to find someone attractive, although things havent changed that much. I guess it has to do with getting older and having had a few relationships, thus having experience.
     

    Kanzler

    5,983
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • I might've had like... five crushes throughout my life? Two of which didn't really blossom into crushes per se and lasted not more than a few weeks haha. Two of them had to do with people I never got to know on a personal level. Two of them (i hope) became important in my life. I think what I'm trying to say is that not all my crushes are equal, that I have had a few crappy meaningless crushes but also a few that really touched me.

    I don't think I develop a crush deeper than a very superficial attraction on someone unless we get along well together. Also if feelings are to a certain extent reciprocated. A feeling of mutual "specialness" and intimacy turns me on. Otherwise, I just don't see myself being attracted to most people. I rely on feelings more than logic though. I don't get those feelings often.
     
    Raine

    Raine

    3,722
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Hm, I personally distinguish between having an interest in someone, crushing on them, and actually liking someone. In terms of interests, sure, I've had my fair share of them, but I never pursued them beyond the thought of, "Oh, this person seems interesting, I'd like to get to know them." It's very rare that I actually get past that stage and into developing a crush where I find that this term deals mostly with the physical aspect of wanting someone. And seeing as I don't have those kinds of thoughts that other people might have such as saying someone's hot, good looking, etc., the number of crushes I've had in my lifetime is probably less than 5 or even 3.

    For myself, I find it quite hard to develop genuine feelings for someone because I'm awfully shy in real life and coupled with my insecurities, self-esteem and confidence issues, it doesn't make for a great situation for me to want to pursue them \: But to be honest, once I find someone who I feel connected with and have a unique chemistry with to what I think could blossom from just being friends, I'll feel conflicted as to whether I should make the first move and pursue them. In terms of getting my attention, nothing beats someone actually showing that they're interested in who I am, my personality, and everything else; basically liking me for me.
     

    Khilia

    Kawaii in the streets, senpai in the sheets
    459
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Someone just needs to be a nice and kind person to me and others so I can like him or her, but if someone wanted to make me love him or her then said someone would need to come up with a lot of good reasons (and with a return of my feelings, for some reason it isn't really possible for me to love someone who doesn't love me, or loves someone else already)
    Regarding crushes I don't remember I ever had any in my life, I don't know why really...
     
    maccrash

    maccrash

    foggy notion
    3,583
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • I used to crush a lot on like, every female that I came into contact with, but that's since stopped happening because I've become less of a moron. Now I don't develop crushes too often and when I do, I pursue them. Of course, I think to myself whenever I see someone physically attractive like "wow I would totally make sweet love to this person given the opportunity" but it's nothing that ever flourishes usually.

    I've never been in a committed relationship, though.
     

    darkredwing

    98
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Age 35
    • Seen Aug 1, 2021
    I would diffidently fall in the later. Sure, I find lots of women attractive but that alone is not enough for me to develop feelings for. So when I do start developing them I do tend to pursue them and with the exception of one relationship they all have lasted about a year, the one that didn't reached the three year mark.

    As for why, I guess I have to get to know them a bit before hand. It takes a lot for me to trust someone on that level as I do tend to keep a lot of my emotions bottled up.
     
    Dustmop

    Dustmop

    [i]Fight for what makes you happy[/i]
    932
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Nov 27, 2022
    Definitely the latter. I'm only interested in a serious, committed relationship. It takes a lot for me to be comfortable, and even more to gain my trust and respect. Those are important aspects to any relationship - intimate, platonic, whatever.

    I don't tend to find very many men or women physically attractive and I'm not a very 'emotionally attached' person, so it takes a lot more for me to actually notice them. Or even care about their existence, for that matter.

    That said, if they are capable of catching my attention and they meet basic 'standards' of being a decent human being, then I certainly pursue them.
    As far as what that takes.. Probably the same things most people look for. Honesty, respectful/respectable, trustworthy, intelligent, easy to talk to, considerate/sensitive, and similar interests.. to name a few.
    But the first thing I notice is their sense of humor. It's always a good sign if they can actually manage to get me to laugh.

    So, what we can pull from this is: my grand total of 'crushes' or interests has probably been a whole 4 people. 3 if you don't count celebs, lol. Seriously though.. small handful of people.

    Granted, I've had other relationships, but they were usually.. uh.. what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah. "Bad."
     
    £

    £

    You're gonna have a bad time.
    947
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Like the finest flowers, my love blossoms after a dark cold period towards someone.

    Or in a nicer sounding way, it takes time for me to warm to people, especially in that manner, but when I warm to someone, I REALLY warm to them~
     
    TwilightBlade

    TwilightBlade

    All dreams are but another reality.
    7,243
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • It's easy for me to like someone because I know the power of words, how much influence a person has when you compliment another as beautiful, kind, lovely, dearest, etc. Go tell someone you appreciate him or her and that you like 'em, forget about crushing or friend zoning drama for a minute, okay? A stray comment elsewhere even, a genuine statement in a post, may be more potent than you think. These crush and role models and staff feedback threads are super cute. ♥

    As for forming really close bonds with people, I take time to open up. I'm shy. The way I was raised often leads me to assume people just want to use me and people operate in their best interest. I used to shut people out. The way school and the internet developed me helped me realize not everyone is selfish. There exists some truly splendid people. How do I know who's who at first? So I became cautious. If I share my secrets with the wrong people, they'll pull out my heart strings. I rarely pursue crushes because I do fear being hurt and do fear the bitter end, the breakup. To be my crush though, you must have done something amazing to show me you care about me. You didn't tear down the walls to find me, but you worked through a kind of maze to get to me, because frankly those walls and insecurities will be a large part of me for several more years. I myself haven't completely found the way out yet. I'll meet you halfway.
     
    Crunch Punch

    Crunch Punch

    fire > ice
    1,374
    Posts
    11
    Years
    • I get infatuated so quickly I don't even know whether to call them "crushes" anymore. Though I've never really followed up on anything, mainly because my interest on that person normally fades away after like a week aha.
     

    Pendraflare

    6,266
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • This is one of those things that's hard for me to determine exactly. As Lilith said, it can be easy to like people for the words they say, because even a simple compliment can brighten their day. (lol rhymes) Nobody wants to feel unloved around here. I try to like anyone who's nice to me, but I don't exactly like to "crush" on people unless, again, like she said, they've REALLY shown they care about me. If i'm like that, it's easy to expect the worst.

    As i've said multiple times, I was rather hated in my time in middle school for what I did, and some of the people I thought were my friends would just be pretty rude for insane reasons.

    Some people in this world do care about others, and there are those that just blow you off in what feels like the biggest slap in the face ever.

    As an example of being blown off pretty badly... (WARNING possibly REALLY sad.)
    Spoiler:


    Wow, I really go in-depth with backstories of mine, don't I? Someone please smack me around a bit with a large trout.

    But anyway, ever since that, I have been cautious with people I talk to, online and real life, and I try to go out of my way to ensure i'm not invading the personal space of other females. I want my friends to, when they have problems with me, actually want to work things out with me instead of not leaving me to find out that i'm giving them such a hard time until it's way too late. Because being open is important.
     
    Last edited:
    Raine

    Raine

    3,722
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Sgt.Dustmop said:
    Definitely the latter. I'm only interested in a serious, committed relationship.
    Click to expand...

    This was what I was trying to say, but I ended up blowing it out into unnecessary details! XD I don't like "fooling around" or having flings for that matter. The only people I can see myself actually liking are those I could see myself with in the long-term and that takes time; understanding the person, getting over their little quirks, etc.
     
    Dustmop

    Dustmop

    [i]Fight for what makes you happy[/i]
    932
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Nov 27, 2022
    Vanille Sky said:
    The only people I can see myself actually liking are those I could see myself with in the long-term and that takes time
    Click to expand...

    Glad I could sum it up for you! Lol.

    But yeah, what you said pretty much covers my feelings right there. You summed it up for me, too!
    I don't waste my time on little flings. If you're not planning on being in my life 6 months from now, I don't want you in my life at all.
     
    Strdstwanderer

    Strdstwanderer

    We'll get to that tomorrow
    991
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • I don't get a crush on every girl I meet. It usually takes time for me to develop feelings for someone and it usually is for someone I've taken the time to get to know. When I do get feelings for them I usually try to see if it's just me being nice or if I do feel some sort of romantic feelings for them. As for the pursuing the girl part, it's not easy for me. I do try, but I get nervous around the girl I like and I begin to spaz around and say stupid things. I do sometimes stay calm around my crushes nowadays, but the girl I currently like makes me feel like I belong in an insane asylum.
     

    Homura Akemi

    time is f o r e v e r~
    404
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • I get small feelings for people who seem my type, then they grow once I get to know a bit more to them, or if they respond to me, etc. But, I fall for a lot of people extremely easy.
     
    Sydian

    Sydian

    fake your death.
    33,379
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • I love having crushes. It's super fun having a new crush. When I started liking my boyfriend, it was precious because I was in denial even though I had my head on his shoulder. Haha OOPS. I'm pretty captivated by him though, so I don't have any crushes on anyone else.

    Usually my crushes do stick around for a bit. My longest was maybe like three-ish years? Maybe four? Though it was way more than a crush honestly, so I don't know if that counts. I had a crush on another guy for like a year too. But I am more interested in relationships. :)
     

    Kanzler

    5,983
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Jak said:
    I love having crushes. It's super fun having a new crush. When I started liking my boyfriend, it was precious because I was in denial even though I had my head on his shoulder. Haha OOPS. I'm pretty captivated by him though, so I don't have any crushes on anyone else.
    Click to expand...

    SO THIS IS IMPORTANT EH

    lemme know
     
    Sydian

    Sydian

    fake your death.
    33,379
    Posts
    16
    Years
    • Yeah we were already good friends and I was thinking "lol no i don't like him like that no way" and on his birthday we were hanging out (with others as well mind) and we were watching Bridesmaids and I was tired so I was just like "can i borrow your shoulder" and I did that and my heart melted and I was like ".........yeah i must like him"

    And then I stayed there till like 7:30 AM and he didn't even leave, he just sat with me there on the couch and we looked through tumblr and eventually fell asleep like that, kinda cuddled.

    No one wants to read my mush, sorry guys. v_v;
     
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